Funny Vines To Quotes

The inspiration for my Vines comes from thinking about funny and relatable experiences from my daily life. ~ Lele Pons

Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet. ~ Tim Vine

Be afraid not to. ~ Cherese A. Vines

Lies twist and snarl like ever-growing, thorn-covered vines, Vines that are unavoidable, they grow from anywhere, reaching up to cut you. ~ Frank Murray

People are like vines ... We are born and we grow. Like vines, people also need a tree to cling to, to give them support. ~ Elizabeth Kata

The lives of people are like young trees in a forest. They are being choked by climbing vines. The vines are old thoughts and beliefs planted by dead men. ~ Sherwood Anderson

Christians throughout history have affirmed that lifelong celibacy is a spiritual gift and calling, not a path that should be forced upon someone. ~ Matthew Vines

Homosexuality, to the limited extent it was discussed in our church, was little more than a political football, a quick test of orthodoxy. ~ Matthew Vines

Critics must excuse me if I compare them to certain animals called asses, who, by gnawing vines, originally taught the great advantage of pruning them. ~ William Shenstone

After a war life catches desperately at passing hints of normalcy like vines entwining a hollow twig. ~ Chinua Achebe

A wise, joyous bookit unfolds the knowledge and the beauty of the two lives it embraces-old wisdom and young discover, intertwining like vines. ~ Rex Reed

Sorrows are gardeners: they plant flowers along waste places, and teach vines to cover barren heaps. ~ Henry Ward Beecher

A red brick Presbyterian church ... captured by kudzu vines as surely as a butterfly in a net. ~ Barbara Ascher

Allah is not Jehovah either. Jehovah's not going to turn you into a terrorist that'll try to bomb people and take the lives of thousands and thousands of people. ~ Jerry Vines

Often God takes what is intended as a criticism and turns it into a compliment. The Pharisees said of Jesus, "This man receiveth sinners, and eateth with them" (Luke 15:2). Christ's enemies meant it as an accusation; we take it as an accolade! ~ Jerry Vines

People pretend not to like grapes when the vines are too high for them to reach. ~ Marguerite De Navarre

I'm definitely looking forward to the day when I stop working - if I ever stop working. I like the idea of keeling over in my tomato vines in Sardinia or northern Italy. ~ Anthony Bourdain

Then, as though it had been waiting on a near by roof for their arrival, the moon came slanting suddenly through the vines and turned the girl's face the color of white roses. ~ F Scott Fitzgerald

The spirit of the year, like bacchant crowned, With lighted torch goes careless on his way; And soon bursts into flame the maple's spray, And vines are running fire along the ground. ~ Edith M. Thomas

I don't think the Barbara Vines are mysteries in any sense. The Barbara Vine is much more slowly paced. It is a much more in-depth, searching sort of book; it doesn't necessarily have a murder in it. ~ Ruth Rendell

If there is a fence and you don't know its purpose, don't just assume there isn't one and tear it down. Find out what the fence is intended to accomplish. You might see it needs to stay. ~ Jerry Vines

Some lucky people can be funny without half trying because they actually look funny, because acting funny is in their bones - fun as funny, not funny as crude slapstick. ~ F. Sionil Jose

She glanced down to where my cock tented my boxers. "I'd wondered if every part of you was in proportion. I'm glad it's not just your castle that has an impressive tower."
I fought back a smile. "I'm glad to say I'm not lacking. Either in castle or cock..."
- Laird Callum McRae ~ Jolie Vines

The problem is that we live in an uptight country. Why don't we just laugh at ourselves? We are funny. Gays are funny. Straights are funny. Women are funny. Men are funny. We are all funny, and we all do funny things. Let's laugh about it. ~ Bob Newhart

Tending 100-year-old vines, I've been fortunate to craft highly rated, small production, estate grown wines since 1998. A labor of love, our wines are sustainably farmed, carry the story of my family in every glass and are simply the most satisfying of all my personal endeavors. ~ Michael Chiarello

Flat fields produce mediocre grapes, but rolling hills produce the greatest grapes. Why? Because the vines must struggle for survival. ~ Billy Cannon

Entering the rain forest was like passing through a green curtain into a massive haunted room. It was as claustrophobic as I feared. We could only see a few feet in front of us, like a bank of fog, except it was trees and vines: trees that soared well into the sky, vines that grew at impossible angles and thick waxy leaves the blotted out the sun. ~ James Morris

I have to have lemon and honey. I have to have apple cider vinegar, Braggs. And I have to have either Red Vines or Twizzlers. These things, you know, are the things that help my vocal performance. ~ Mary J. Blige

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? ~ Steven Wright

Mama does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Dada first. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

The groves and thickets of smaller trees are full of blooming evergreen vines. These vines are not arranged in separate groups, or in delicate wreaths, but in bossy walls and heavy, mound-like heaps and banks. Am made to feel that I am now in a strange land. I know hardly any of the plants, but few of the birds, and I am unable to see the country for the solemn, dark, mysterious cypress woods which cover everything. ~ John Muir

It takes a fierce devotion to defend your artistic space, and eternal vigilance over it, because the needs of others will grow like vines in your little plot and claim it back for the jungle. ~ Judith Ortiz Cofer

In marriage, we're called to reflect God's love for us through our self-giving love for our spouse. God's love for us isn't dependent on our day-to-day feelings toward him, on how hard we work to please him, or even on how faithful we are to him. It's grounded in his nature and his covenant. ~ Matthew Vines

I always was a funny guy, the class clown. I had a very funny dad and an extremely funny grandmother. ~ Charlie Day

Slap-stick comedy is really funny, unless you're the one getting slapped with the stick. ~ Carroll Bryant

It's really easy to be funny. You get a lot of funny people in a room, the show is funny. ~ Jill Soloway

Hot dogs and Red Vines and potato chips and French fries are my favorite foods. ~ Betty White

But I also hoped that [she] had chosen California because she thought that was her true home, the place where she really belonged, where it was always warm and you could dance in the rain, pick grapes right off the vines, and sleep outside at night under the stars. ~ Jeannette Walls

You know, Lincoln was funny. I don't think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you're funny. ~ Al Franken

I find Anders very funny and funny lasts forever." Samantha ~ Angela Nicoara

Life before toilet paper was not worth living. ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

being funny is actually all about thinking "what if ?" in a creative way. ~ Shashankbisht

Literature is a vast forest and the masterpieces are the lakes, the towering trees or strange trees, the lovely, eloquent flowers, the hidden caves, but a forest is also made up of ordinary trees, patches of grass, puddles, clinging vines, mushrooms, and little wildflowers. ~ Roberto Bolano

I'm not funny. People assume that because my books are funny, I'll be funny in real life. It's the inevitable disappointment of meeting me. ~ Jonathan Safran Foer

But as I became more aware of same-sex relationships, I couldn't understand why they were supposed to be sinful, or why the Bible apparently condemned them. With most sins, it wasn't hard to pinpoint the damage they cause. Adultery violates a commitment to your spouse. Lust objectifies others. Gossip degrades people. But committed same-sex relationships didn't fit this pattern. Not only were they not harmful to anyone, they were characterized by positive motives and traits instead, like faithfulness, commitment, mutual love, and self-sacrifice. ~ Matthew Vines

Ish #109 If MapQuest says make a right, go straight. You'll get there quicker. ~ Regina Griffin

We can't against human stupidity. Because they are too many and too dangerous. ~ Nobita Nobi

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. ~ Helen Hayes

I like funny things, but I don't find myself particularly funny. ~ Chris Messina

Ish #21 Stop saying the only meat you eat is chicken. It's still meat! ~ Regina Griffin

Around existence twine, (Oh, bridge that hangs across the gorge!) ropes of twisted vine. ~ Matsuo Basho

Without the frown of clouds and lightning, the vines would be burned by the smiling sun. ~ Rumi

I never know when I am being funny, and the other way too. I don't think you can think about that. I don't think you can try to be funny. Some people are just funny. ~ Christopher Walken

Always in life an idea starts small, it is only a sapling idea, but the vines will come and they will try to choke your idea so it cannot grow and it will die and you will never know you had a big idea, an idea so big it could have grown thirty meters through the dark canopy of leaves and touched the face of the sky.' He looked at me and continued. 'The vines are people who are afraid of originality, of new thinking. Most people you encounter will be vines; when you are a young plant they are very dangerous.' His piercing blue eyes looked into mine.' Always listen to yourself, Peekay. It is better to be wrong than simply to follow convention. If you are wrong, no matter, you have learned something and you grow stronger. If you are right, you have taken another step toward a fulfilling life. ~ Bryce Courtenay

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. ~ Natalie Wood

Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything. ~ Steve Martin

I've never set out to write a funny movie or be a funny comedian as a woman. I am a woman. I don't really have a choice in the matter. My goal is just to be funny. ~ Maya Rudolph

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself. ~ Chris Rock

As I get older, I just prefer to knit. ~ Tracey Ullman

When you don't have a laugh track, you can make the clothes funny. We can make a sign funny. We can make the way somebody walks funny. The makeup can be funny. ~ Mitchell Hurwitz

I have funny bones. If there's ever any kind of tension, I'll always be the one to try and be funny to loosen things up. ~ Matt LeBlanc

Making modern games funny would be easy as pie if it was anybody's goal to actually make a funny game. ~ Doug TenNapel

I grew up with an extremely funny dad, and my mom is super funny. ~ Paula Pell

You know ... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time ... husband!!! ~ Bill Maher

But I think once the word gets out that the movie is funny - funny is transcendent - it will traverse all demographic barriers if people embrace it as a funny movie. ~ Thomas Haden Church

God uproots the vine that He Himself has not planted. ~ Vincent De Paul

Don't let go of the vine. ~ Johnny Weissmuller

Pride is a wonderful terrible thing a seed that bears two vines life and death. ~ James Hurst

The funny thing is, Dennis Miller got me back into comedy. ~ Tommy Chong

There are no funny lawyers - only funny people who made a career mistake. ~ Robert J. White

Comedy, your funny bone, is formed in childhood. ~ Paul O'Grady

I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny. ~ Mark Russell

If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny. ~ Alan King

I always believe that funny is serious and serious is funny. You don't really need a distinction between them. ~ Trevor Noah

I come from a long line of miserable people. ~ Arlene Schindler

God made a beauteous garden
With lovely flowers strown,
But one straight, narrow pathway
That was not overgrown.
And to this beauteous garden
He brought mankind to live,
And said "To you, my children,
These lovely flowers I give.
Prune ye my vines and fig trees,
With care my flowers tend,
But keep the pathway open
Your home is at the end."
God's Garden ~ Robert Frost

Comedy should never be over-analysed. It's either funny or it isn't. There's a subtle difference between those who say funny things and those who say things funny. ~ Ken Dodd

Plant no other tree before the vine. ~ Horace

Plant no tree sooner than the vine. ~ Alcaeus

Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing. ~ Helen Rowland

Forty million Americans smoked marijuana; the only ones who didn't like it were Judge Ginsberg, Clarence Thomas and Bill Clinton. ~ Jay Leno

I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in the face of tragedy is kind of demented. ~ Julie Brown

When something is truly funny, it's funny all the time. ~ Cloris Leachman

You think you're funny." "Oh, I know I'm funny. Unappreciated, but funny. ~ Jim Butcher

I wasn't particularly funny in high school, but I grew up with three older brothers who were quite funny. ~ Ryan Stiles

Some actors try to play parts and do things they can't do. Being funny is one of them. Being funny's hard. ~ Tom Sizemore

I'm always more motivated by the pain of a funny character than by what makes him funny. ~ Jason Alexander

Around them small animals scampered along knotted cables and flaking vines, chirruping, squealing, venting yellow farts. Everywhere was animation, purpose, hurry. Momentum. ~ Gregory Benford

You're funny.
Funny peculiar or funny ha-ha?
A bit of both, I think. ~ E.L. James

My parents were funny. My brothers were funny. We just laughed and had a good time. Growing up, it breeds that. It breeds your funny. It breeds your creativity. ~ Kym Whitley

There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh. ~ Jeff Garlin

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. ~ Francois De La Rochefoucauld

I'm not a comedian. I don't make things funny if they're not funny. I don't invent funny stuff. ~ Morgan Freeman

I don't get a chance to be funny with the thrillers. I like to be funny, and I think I am really funny. So with 'Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life', it was fun to let loose. ~ James Patterson

Although there are many trial marriages ... there is no such thing as a trial child. ~ Gail Sheehy

I am funny. No one else thinks I am funny. But I am funny. ~ Lorraine Bracco

To happy convents, bosomed deep in vines,
Where slumber abbots, purple as their wines. ~ Alexander Pope

If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you. ~ Billy Wilder

I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too. ~ Wanda Sykes

The decision as to what's funny and what is not funny shall rest solely with Mr. Freberg. ~ Stan Freberg