Funny Guy Quotes

I see a funny guy who's imperfect, but has a great heart and no vanity when it comes to what he'll do to get a laugh. I see a guy who loves his art and loves his family, and who is willing to live and die for both. ~ Marlon Wayans

That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere. ~ Daniel Tosh

I've just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn't know them, I wouldn't know they were funny from the television. I don't know what it does, it just sucks it away. ~ Norm MacDonald

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, 'I'm going to mop the floor with your face.' I said, 'You'll be sorry.' He said, 'Oh, yeah? Why?' I said, 'Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.' ~ Emo Philips

You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I'd be able to do it the way I wanted to do it. ~ Bill Burr

Sometimes when reading Goethe I have a paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny. ~ Guy Davenport

Ava said her hand accidentally slipped and made contact with her guy's nose. I said Repeatedly? And she said, 'Uh, yeah. I'm really clumsy. ~ Gena Showalter

He was a funny guy, and a smart one- and the smartest thing about him, in Frankie's view, was that he never, ever, ever worried. ~ Kate De Goldi

I'm usually not the straight guy. I'm sometimes more the funny guy, depending on the situation. ~ John Kapelos

I answered an ad, for a campus cartoonist at the university I was in, my freshman year. I was like, Oh, I can draw, and I'm sort of a funny guy. I should try this. Then they paid me to do a comic strip for the paper. ~ Dan Povenmire

I like the idea of being the funny guy in the dramatic thing, playing a hit man with a weird sense of humor. ~ Anthony Jeselnik

Steve Rannazzisi, Nick Kroll, Paul Scheer, Jon Lajoie - and they're such funny guys that they bring their own sort of twist to it all. ~ Katie Aselton

My dad was in the army so we moved around a lot and I changed schools every year and had to make new friends, and I found that if I was the funny guy I could do that easier. ~ Jason Gann

I've worked for years with Michael Kors, and he's just like this funny, charismatic guy. ~ Erin Heatherton

I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators. ~ Jim Gaffigan

Robert Hoffman is kind of infamous for beinga prankster, funny guy. ~ Carter Jenkins

I hate it. It looks like a stickup at 7-Eleven. Five guys standing there with their hands in the air. ~ Norm Sloan

I'm a guy. Unless the dirt attacks first, I leave it in peace. ~ Katie Graykowski

I'm known as a kind of dramatic, serious, almost humorless actor and the fact is, I'm a funny guy, and I spend most of my life trying to find a lighter side of things, and on stage was given plenty of opportunity to do that. ~ Campbell Scott

I remember one guy saying, "You're the only human out of all of them," and feeling a little concerned that somehow that meant I wasn't as funny. ~ Allison Silverman

The truth is that Ron is my hero. He's always there for his friends - sometimes belligerently, but there nevertheless. He's also the comic relief in stressful situations; the funny guy with a great one-liner. And no matter how scared he may be, he will put aside his fears to support and protect the people he loves. To me, that represents true courage. ~ Rupert Grint

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including: Both of your socks should always be the same color, Or they should at least both be fairly dark. ~ Dave Barry

Drew's a funny guy. Because anything he gets into, he gets in 100%. Even when we were doing 'The Drew Carey Show,' he got into bowling, and suddenly he's phoning up pros for tips and carrying around 3 balls. It's just how he does it. ~ Ryan Stiles

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no. ~ Bo Burnham

Scott Foley was always fun because he's a very funny guy. So I liked working with him a bunch. ~ Ian Gomez

If you have spent any time with Barack Obama, you know he's a funny guy. He's a good guy. He knows sports. ~ Ed Rendell

The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, everyone still wants the brooding, dangerous guy you shouldn't have. ~ Will Ferrell

Why not? It's true. I don't even laugh for anyone but you."
She hesitated, for that one. Did he really mean that? Surely not.
"Tim seems like a really funny guy." She tried, but all it did was make his mouth form that mean line.
"Tim pees in the kitchen sink."
"Well, okay. I could atleast promise not to do that, but even so- ~ Charlotte Stein

Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy. ~ Chris Rock

Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored. ~ Bob Saget

I always was a funny guy, the class clown. I had a very funny dad and an extremely funny grandmother. ~ Charlie Day

I'm a pretty funny guy, and I would love to do a comedy with a bunch of funny guys - movie-star guys, where they could help me through it. ~ LeBron James

But - why would she break up with you? Why was she crying?" At this, I laugh again.
" Because I," I say, pointing at myself, "am a monster."
Kenji looks confused. " And how is that news to anyone?"
I smile. He's funny, I think. Funny guy. ~ Tahereh Mafi

I've got a sense of humor. I'm a funny guy. ~ Daryl Hall

I moved to New York to do theater, and I got cast in a play that was funny, and then I was the funny guy. I did a movie that was funny, and then I was the funny guy. ~ Steve Zahn

I don't like to channel surf. You guys like it, don't you. You guys like to change the channel. We like to change you. ~ Wendy Liebman

I want to do drama - no one really sees that. People just think I'm the funny guy and I can't do anything else, and that's just not true. ~ Mark Indelicato

Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley's very funny, very witty guy, very quick. ~ Joe Rogan

I'm not a broad comedy guy. I've been funny in movies, but I'm not a comedian. I'm an actor who's sometimes funny. ~ Matthew Lillard

For a Catholic kid in parochial school, the only way to survive the beatings - by classmates, not the nuns - was to be the funny guy. ~ George A. Romero

I don't get offered many dramatic roles. As soon as my face pops up in a movie, everyone knows I'm the funny guy. ~ Chris Elliott

I'm an unorthodox type of guy, a funny guy - at least I think I'm funny. And one of the things I like to do is come up with nicknames for myself. ~ Shaquille O'Neal

Susan is happy off on another project to save yet another endangered creature. But I miss Irving, and though Susan would laugh at me probably, I like to think that Irving is somewhere chasing angelic speedboats, or maybe he's got his own wings. Surely, even God needs a laugh now and then, and Irving is a funny guy, for a monster. ~ Laurell K. Hamilton

Come over,' he said. 'I'll order in Chinese.'
'You speak Chinese now?'
'Funny guy, Libor. Be here at eight.'
'You sure you're up for it?'
'I'm a philosopher, I'm not sure about anything.'.. ~ Howard Jacobson

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them. ~ Chris Rock

I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary. ~ George Carlin

A cemetery?" I chuckle, but the pitch is a bit higher than I expected. "At night? With a full moon? Um ... did you see any, uh, zombies, you, while you were there?"
Shiko blinks at me a few times. "No"
I slump in relief. "Thank God. I mean, I don't want to be the first to die. The funny guy always dies first, for shock value, you know. Rourke would get killed next, because it's be a heroic sacrifice or something." I motion to Shiko. "You'd live, though, unless you had sex."
... Shiko has the look of an addled kitten, complete with head tilt. Rourke sighs and leans toward her, embarrassed.
'You'll have to excuse him. According to his mother he has an irrational fear of something called the zombie apocalypse."
"It's not irrational! ~ Vaughn R. Demont

I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.' ~ Amy Schumer

You think you're a pretty funny guy, don't you?"
"Well, I don't want to brag…"
"You know what's really funny?" Geryon asks, taking another step toward the cell.
"Your face? ~ Cheryl McIntyre

I like funny guys and those, for some reason, tend to be nerdy guys. ~ Megan Fox

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who would be willing to test any drug they could come up with ~ George Carlin

I would love to interview Michael McKean and his wife, who wrote the songs for 'A Mighty Wind,' which is my favorite Christopher Guest movie. I'm just a sucker for any funny guy that has a wife who is intelligent and that he collaborates with. ~ Julie Klausner

My father was a really funny guy. He lived a good long life. And he was the reason I wanted to be funny and become a comedian and a comedy writer, so to say that he's somewhat of a mythic figure in my life would be an understatement. ~ Carol Leifer

My father was always a straight-up funny guy. He was silly. He was my inspiration. ~ Mike Myers

I don't want to be that guy mumbling into his drink at a bar. ~ Bill Murray

No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies. ~ Mark Twain

With Portlandia, I don't think our intention is always to find something funny. Sometimes the humor comes from taking something really seriously. We're okay with making somebody feel uncomfortable or uneasy. ~ Carrie Brownstein

Tony Scott was one of the best directors I've ever worked with, and I was devastated when I heard about his death. He was a great guy with great energy. But this is a difficult business, and people's lives are sometimes difficult. ~ Christian Slater

I never really understood what was expected of me as a man, or how I was supposed to interact with women, but worse, with other guys. I did not relate to them. ~ Michael Ian Black

Nothing has to be funny. Sometimes I just laugh to heal my soul. ~ TemitOpe Ibrahim

There are so many stories, she thinks, and most of them end up lost. ~ Guy Gavriel Kay

The trend of the market is up, not down. Shorting stocks puts you against that trend and thus makes it more difficult to make money. ~ Guy Spier

God says, 'One woman, one man,' and everyone says, 'Oh, that's old hat, that's that old Bible stuff,'" he said. "But I'm thinking, well let's see now. A clean guy - a disease-free guy and a disease-free woman - they marry and they keep their sex between the two of them. They're not going to get chlamydia, and gonorrhea, and syphilis, and AIDS. It's safe. ~ Phil Robertson

The interesting part of the process is developing the character, you know, why did he become that? Why is the guy a murderer, or why is this guy a pervert, or whatever he is. So that's the fun part for me to delve into the abyss. ~ Brion James

As I come to the end of my advice and send you off into the world, I have an alternative way for you to stay on the straight and narrow: periodically watch Groundhog Day. It was made long ago, in 1993, but it's still smart and funny, the chemistry between the stars (Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell) is terrific, and it has a happy ending. Groundhog Day is also a profound moral fable that deals with the most fundamental issues of virtue and happiness. ~ Charles Murray

That old funny-shaped bit of wood is still staring me in the face every day saying 'come on, you haven't started yet!' It's infinite. ~ Jeff Beck

There was a rich old guy named John Donnelly who must have donated a bunch of money. He had forgotten his member card one day, and when I tried to explain that it was a four-dollar fee to enter without a card, he went batshit. "Don't you know who I am, goddammit?" I had never seen him before. "Do you know who I am?" I wanted to say. "Then how could I know who you are? We don't know each other. ~ Tina Fey

Suddenly, I missed Jenna so much that it was almost a physical ache. I wanted to hold her hand, and hear her say something that would make this whole situation funny instead of incredibly screwed up.
Archer would've been nice, too. He probably would've raised an eyebrow in that annoying/hot way he had, and made a dirty joke about Elodie possessing me.
Or Cal. He wouldn't say anything, but just his presence would make me feel better. And Dad-
"Sophie," Mom said, shaking me out of my reverie. "I don't…I don't even know how to start explaining all of this to you." She looked at me, her eyes red. "I meant to, so many times, but everything was always so…complicated. Do you hate me?"
I took a deep breath. "Of course not. I mean, I'm not thrilled. And I totally reserve the right to angst over all this later. But honestly, Mom? Right now, I'm so happy to see you that I wouldn't care if you're secretly a ninja sent from the future to destroy kittens and rainbows."
She chuckled, a choked and watery sound. "I missed you so much, Soph."
We hugged, my face against her collarbone. "I want the whole story, though," I said, my words muffled. "All of it on the table."
She nodded. "Absolutely. After we talk to Aislinn."
Pulling back, I grimaced. "So how exactly are you related to her? Are you guys like, cousins?"
"We're sisters."
I stared at her. "Wait. So you're like, a Brannick Brannick? But you don't even have red hair."
Mom got off the ~ Rachel Hawkins

I want to know what it feels like to kiss a guy. And you've had a lot of practice, so I know you're a good kisser.
Are you simultaneously complimenting me and calling me a whore? ~ Abigail Roux

To me, the smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the greatest inventions. ~ Hugh Jackman

I know my age is a little older and some people might say, 'hey this guy's an old guy'. But I'm learning every day. I don't feel like an old guy. I feel like I'm young. I feel like I'm in there just learning so much stuff. I'm just doing a whole lot more different things than I was before. ~ George Tahdooahnippah

I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage. ~ Bob Hope

My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick". ~ Henny Youngman

Of course, everyone has something wrong with him, that's for sure, but this guy probably had something really wrong. Perhaps ~ Nora Ephron

All the waste in a year from a nuclear power plant can be stored under a desk. ~ Ronald Reagan

Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it. ~ Cullen Hightower

I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change. ~ Dan Quayle

There are only two profound ways to reach enlightenment: Laugh by yourself, or get tickled. ~ Saurabh Sharma

So ... Now that we got that over with, let's get back to love at first sight, Evan said.
Not infatuation at first sight ... Love. With a capital L, he clarified.
Love? Heeb asked, playfully pretending not to know the concept.
Yeah. The real thing. The conviction that if you had this one woman, all other women would become irrelevant. You'd never again be unhappy And you'd give up anything to have her and keep her.
You've experienced that?
Only once. And I haven't stopped thinking about it ever since.
Tell me more.
Sometimes I think that I still chase women just to forget about her. Because I know I can never have her. But I can't seem to forget about her, no matter what girl I'm chasing ... No one can possibly compare ...
Who is she?
Delilah, Evan said wistfully.
Delilah?, asked Heeb, intrigued
Delilah Nakova, Evan replied, with a hint of awe and reverence in his voice. ~ Zack Love

Life is not a static thing. The only people who do not change their minds are incompetents in asylums, and those in cemeteries. ~ Everett Dirksen

We have always had gross humor. But we try for funny, not gross. ~ Shawn Wayans

We often get pigeon-holed as a tough guy, or whatever else. I've been pigeon-holed as a heavy and serious, and almost a baddy, but not quite a baddy, over the years of my work in television, particularly. ~ John Noble

There's different kinds of laughs. It's like a baseball lineup: this guy's your power hitter, this guy gets on base, this guy works out walks. If everybody does their job, we're gonna win. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Oh you rebel you! ~ Mallory Hopkins

Tooled cowboy boots, engraved hip flask and, in recognition of his new passion for geology, a nineteenth-century explorer's specimen hammer in a leather case. To bless his second adolescence on turning fifty, a trumpet that had once belonged to Guy Barker. These offerings represented only a fraction of the happiness she urged on him, and sex was only one part of that fraction, and only latterly a failure, elevated by him into a mighty injustice. ~ Ian McEwan

It's funny. When we were alive we spent much of our time staring up at the cosmos and wondering what was out there. We were obsessed with the moon and whether we could one day visit it. The day we finally walked on it was celebrated worldwide as perhaps man's greatest achievement. But it was while we were there, gathering rocks from the moon's desolate landscape, that we looked up and caught a glimpse of just how incredible our own planet was. Its singular astonishing beauty. We called her Mother Earth. Because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry. ~ Jon Stewart

Tyson put his hand on Grover´s shoulder "I -I will go with him."
I couldn´t believe I was hearing this. "Tyson are you sure?"
The big guy nodded. "Goat boy needs help. We will find the god person. I am not like Hephaestus. I trust friends. ~ Rick Riordan

Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit. ~ Sam Halpern

Whereas during the primitive stage of capitalist accumulation "political economy considers the proletarian only as a worker," who only needs to be allotted the indispensable minimum for maintaining his labor power, and never considers him "in his leisure and humanity," this ruling-class perspective is revised as soon as commodity abundance reaches a level that requires an additional collaboration from him. Once his workday is over, the worker is suddenly redeemed from the total contempt toward him that is so clearly implied by every aspect of the organization and surveillance of production, and finds himself seemingly treated like a grownup, with a great show of politeness, in his new role as a consumer. ~ Guy Debord

Yossarian was moved by such intense pity for his poverty that he wanted to smash his pale. sad, sickly face with his fist and knock him out of existence ~ Joseph Heller

The one thing I've found you really can't joke about - and people think it's death or something - is money. No one thinks it's funny, whether you have it or you don't. Money is just something no one seems to like joking about. ~ Anthony Jeselnik

This guy had more lines than loose-leaf. ~ Cara Lynn Shultz

After Lock, Stock, all these really nasty small town characters came knocking at my door trying to tell me stories, and somehow I ended up with this guy whose brother was feeding people to pigs, and that's what he did to get rid of people. ~ Guy Ritchie