Comedian Quotes

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Quotes About Comedian

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There really is no Johnny Carson anymore. There is no one place a comedian can appear and explode. ~ Tom Leykis
Comedian quotes by Tom Leykis
I didn't plan on being a comedian. I didn't plan on getting married and I didn't plan on having kids, but I did all those things. ~ Rodney Carrington
Comedian quotes by Rodney Carrington
What I like about stand-up is, it's truthful. I'm not up there trying to get laid or look cool. I'm up there because I really love it, and it makes people happier. ~ Jay Mohr
Comedian quotes by Jay Mohr
I've loved the Internet space in terms of creative content control and ownership, the things I haven't had since I started as a stand-up comedian. ~ Kevin Pollak
Comedian quotes by Kevin Pollak
I have late onset ADHD. I take on too much and end up spinning plates, but it's entertaining, and it helps you make quick connections if you're a comedian, if you have a brain that can dance around too much. ~ Rory Bremner
Comedian quotes by Rory Bremner
And put your shirt back on, why don't you?" she said over her shoulder. "Remember, I'm a lady."
"If'n you call twelve a lady," Jimmy said, full of chuckles.
"You're a regular comedian, Jimmy Koppel. Downright hilarious. ~ Tess Hilmo
Comedian quotes by Tess Hilmo
One can always lament, you know - but to laugh in the face of life, that's very hard. And for me the great tragedian should also be a great comedian. ~ Martha Graham
Comedian quotes by Martha Graham
Some comedians you work with, they only turn on when the camera turn on, and they're like sad-faced clowns when the camera's off. And then, they come alive when the camera come on. And you be like, "Oh, damn. You're not a depressed ball of depression, but you are actually funny." ~ Ice Cube
Comedian quotes by Ice Cube
One of the problems I see with these comics on television, particularly cable television, is, since you can say anything in terms of sex and scatological references and so on, therefore, you should do it. So they all limit themselves to these subjects and this vocabulary. My objection is that it is a lack of articulateness. Irreverence is easy, but what is hard is wit. Wit is what these comedians lack. ~ Tom Lehrer
Comedian quotes by Tom Lehrer
I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh. ~ Johnny Carson
Comedian quotes by Johnny Carson
There are a couple of things I want to impart to ladies who want to be in comedy: One, you don't have to be weird or be quirky to get your job done. And two, comedy skill is not sexually transmittable. You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you're doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth. ~ Tina Fey
Comedian quotes by Tina Fey
I've never been able to tell jokes. In the beginning of my career I did impressions and jokes like any other comedian, but I was never very successful because I did it poorly. So I started to talk to the audience and started talking about the atmosphere around me and started to become angry, not in a mean-spirited way, but in a fun way - and my attitude developed from there. ~ Don Rickles
Comedian quotes by Don Rickles
When I began doing theatre in high school I saw that I could get laughs from people but I didn't really connect that to going on and becoming a comedian. I was interested in acting and while I was at Boston College I was part of an improv group, Mother's Fleabag, which had a long history and has been known as one of the best college improvisation groups in the U.S. ~ Amy Poehler
Comedian quotes by Amy Poehler
When people laugh at me, they are not laughing in the way that they normally would at a comedian. They are laughing with relief, because the truth has been spoken, and political correctness has not strangled this particular gigastar. ~ Barry Humphries
Comedian quotes by Barry Humphries
The greatest comedian I've ever seen is Jack Benny. He wasn't afraid of the silences. ~ Bob Newhart
Comedian quotes by Bob Newhart
Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world. ~ Groucho Marx
Comedian quotes by Groucho Marx
Frank Fay turned into the most consistent stand-up comic of the late 1920s and essentially changed the art form. Crowds and critics eventually came to accept a man standing alone, cracking wise. No longer did Fay bill himself as a 'Nut Monologist. ~ Kliph Nesteroff
Comedian quotes by Kliph Nesteroff
Donald Trump is not running for president. This is devastating news for Trump's supporters - all of whom are late night comedians. ~ Conan O'Brien
Comedian quotes by Conan O'Brien
A lot of comedians are selfish. ~ J. B. Smoove
Comedian quotes by J. B. Smoove
Ultimately, an audience wants to laugh. That's who they like, the comedian who makes them laugh. ~ Ted Alexandro
Comedian quotes by Ted Alexandro
The only time I get sick of making people laugh is when I'm in a non-writing-joke mode, and I just can't seem to come up with anything new that's funny. That's a tough place to be as a comedian. ~ Bill Burr
Comedian quotes by Bill Burr
I'm a standup comedian who gets to act. I'm never going to not do standup. I love doing it and when I go through periods where I'm doing a lot of acting work, I still do standup. ~ Bill Burr
Comedian quotes by Bill Burr
The comedian can put the punchline out there, but it's the audience that receives it - and has to get it. ~ Rachel Sklar
Comedian quotes by Rachel Sklar
I was stuck in the benefits of being a known comedian. ~ Andrea Martin
Comedian quotes by Andrea Martin
I don't think anyone's particularly conscious of thinking suits are the thing, but when you see a comedian on stage in jeans and a t-shirt it doesn't matter how good they are - it always looks like amateur hour when they walk onto the stage. ~ Jack Dee
Comedian quotes by Jack Dee
It is better to look good than to feel good. ~ Fernando Lamas
Comedian quotes by Fernando Lamas
I just like observing people - it's something I've done ever since I was a kid, and I got really good at it. That's a big part of why I became a comedian. My audience is filled with every kind of person you can imagine, and I love that. ~ Ellen DeGeneres
Comedian quotes by Ellen DeGeneres
If you're a comedian, you are looking for material in daily life. ~ Rob Brydon
Comedian quotes by Rob Brydon
I was so keen to become a comedian that actually doing the comedy itself almost came second. ~ Jack Dee
Comedian quotes by Jack Dee
There's so many variables in comedy. Comedy is not this thing that's a performance like a play. It's really an interaction with every single person in the room. And if there's a weirdness in the room for any people, be it something the comedians did at the top of the set or be it the mixture of the people isn't right, something can go awry. So it's really great to see you proven wrong about someone. ~ B. J. Porter
Comedian quotes by B. J. Porter
I don't think comedians take advantage of the fact that television and film are visual mediums. ~ Eric Andre
Comedian quotes by Eric Andre
But I will say that most comedians are the saddest people I know. That is the biggest paradox to me. ~ Jean Reno
Comedian quotes by Jean Reno
I really will never understand pushing back on comedians who are like, "I'm like a politician campaigning and shaking hands with these people. They're going to be okay." ~ Jen Kirkman
Comedian quotes by Jen Kirkman
During Vietnam, I was in college, enjoying my student deferment. The government wisely felt that, in my case, military service was less important than completing my studies to prepare me for my chosen career: comedian. ~ Al Franken
Comedian quotes by Al Franken
For generations comedians have made jokes about Scots-Irish in the South inter-breeding. "I am my own grandpa" and all that stuff; you know, because they all were marrying their first cousins. ~ Ishmael Reed
Comedian quotes by Ishmael Reed
I don't have any horror stories of trying to start as a comedian and eating it constantly on stage. ~ Jenny Slate
Comedian quotes by Jenny Slate
My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way. ~ Dov Davidoff
Comedian quotes by Dov Davidoff
Only black people in the whole neighborhood, so let's break it down: Me, I'm a decent comedian, I'm a'ight. Mary J. Blige, one of the greatest R&B singers to ever walk the Earth. Jay-Z, one of the greatest rappers to ever live. Eddie Murphy, one of the funniest actors to ever, ever do it. Do you know what the white man that lives next door to me does for a living? He's a f*****g dentist. ~ Chris Rock
Comedian quotes by Chris Rock
Everyone thinks I'm a comedian - which I am and are. I was born into a comedic family but I'm trained as an actor. ~ Marlon Wayans
Comedian quotes by Marlon Wayans
I don't consider myself a stand-up comedian. I consider myself a performer; a comic as opposed to stand-up comedian. Stand-up comedians stand there and do their bits; I break every rule in creation. If there's a rule that can be broken in stand-up, I'll do it. ~ J. B. Smoove
Comedian quotes by J. B. Smoove
Tom Moysten!" Mr. Larson yelled. "You're not paying attention!"
I whipped around in my chair and closed my sketchbook.
"Yes, I am," I said.
(Laughter.)
"Then tell me what I just said."
You know how sometimes you can repeat what someone just said even if you didn't really hear it at the time? Well, I couldn't. Not this time, anyway.
"You said I wasn't paying attention," I said.
(More laughter.)
Mr. Larson wasn't amused.
"Oh, a comedian," he said. "Perhaps you'd like to stand up here and tell a few jokes."
"No, thanks."
"Afraid to make a fool of yourself?" he asked.
"No, that's your job," I said.
(Long, loud laughter.) ~ Emily Rodda
Comedian quotes by Emily Rodda
Everyone, everywhere, and all the time, used to laugh at me when I was growing up. So, when I was around 18, I thought, 'I'll become a comedian, and then if everyone laughs at me, I'll be famous.' So I went on stage one night and, for the first time in my life, everyone stopped laughing at me. ~ Emo Philips
Comedian quotes by Emo Philips
I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown. ~ Bernie Mac
Comedian quotes by Bernie Mac
Jason [Sudeikis] is a successful actor and comedian, I don't think that he takes comedic roles any less seriously than he does dramatic roles. ~ Taron Egerton
Comedian quotes by Taron Egerton
I love stand-up. I look at it as a way to always stay productive. I couldn't imagine only being an actor or a writer. Because what the hell do I do when I'm not working? Mope? ~ Hannibal Buress
Comedian quotes by Hannibal Buress
Unfortunately, the show's success comes at the expense of its biggest asset
the comedians themselves. ~ Richard Pryor
Comedian quotes by Richard Pryor
I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one thing that I feel like I could do, it would be that. That doesn't mean that I like it, but I feel that's what I am. ~ Larry David
Comedian quotes by Larry David
He hit the circuit in 1917 as 'Frank Fay, Nut Monologist,' and resistance was immediate. Variety critically stated, 'Fay needs a good straight man, as before, to feed his eccentric comedy.' A comedian standing alone onstage? Unheard of. Doesn't this guy know anything about showbiz? To stand still and tell jokes was a foreign move. To perform without some kind of gimmick was considered amateurish. ~ Kliph Nesteroff
Comedian quotes by Kliph Nesteroff
Everybody tells jokes, but we still need comedians. ~ Jimmy Wales
Comedian quotes by Jimmy Wales
I feel sorry for confetti. Its useful life lasts about two seconds. And it can never be used again. ~ George Carlin
Comedian quotes by George Carlin
Here's the thing about Red Sox fans, or actually just fans from that region, in general: they appreciate the effort. And if you mail it in or if you give 80 percent, even with a win, they'll let you know that's not how you do it. They want - if it's comedian, if it's a musician, bring us your best show. ~ Dane Cook
Comedian quotes by Dane Cook
Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense. ~ Alan Moore
Comedian quotes by Alan Moore
I make funny videos. I hate saying I'm a comedian because then people stick their finger in your face and demand you tell a joke. But the other thing people call me is 'a YouTube sensation,' which is even worse. ~ Katie Nolan
Comedian quotes by Katie Nolan
Outside of performing, (a comedian) is someone who is analyzing life, thinking about it and trying to be observing so much. In my opinion, it can make you feel on the outside looking in. ~ Chris Gethard
Comedian quotes by Chris Gethard
Being a rapper is about being cool, but being a comedian, you're not supposed to be the coolest guy. ~ Aziz Ansari
Comedian quotes by Aziz Ansari
I try not to apologize, especially publicly. That's a slippery slope, because I'm a comedian. If you take anything I'm saying too seriously, then you shouldn't be paying attention in the first place. If you find me offensive, don't follow me. ~ Chelsea Handler
Comedian quotes by Chelsea Handler
Phyllis Diller came through a mine field of male comedians when she arrived on the comedy scene and she defused them all. She won her place in the Hall of Comedy as the First Lady. I will miss her. ~ Tim Conway
Comedian quotes by Tim Conway
As a comedian, I don't know if they're laughing because it's funny or if they're laughing at me because I'm not funny. And I'm thinking, 'Who cares? They're laughing.' If you go on stage, and they're laughing at you full-on for 60 minutes? You know, whatever puts them in the seats. ~ Larry The Cable Guy
Comedian quotes by Larry The Cable Guy
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. ~ George Carlin
Comedian quotes by George Carlin
I always made people laugh, and everybody wanted me to sit at the table with them. I don't joke as much as I used to, but I can still be a little comedian every now and then. ~ Missy Elliot
Comedian quotes by Missy Elliot
I get very jealous of my friends who have traditional families and 9-to-5 jobs, because I feel like just by the nature of being a comedian ... ~ Chris Gethard
Comedian quotes by Chris Gethard
The real focus at first is to just become a good stand-up comedian, and then when you get to a certain level, then they allow you to do other things. You feel if you're overwhelmed by something or if you're not. ~ Jon Stewart
Comedian quotes by Jon Stewart
I'm attracted to working with comedians because they don't have that stars' idea of what a hero should be. The downside is they're always addressing the camera too much. ~ Michel Gondry
Comedian quotes by Michel Gondry
It's a great time to be a comedian because you've got so much more control. You can say what you want to. I think in the old days with the studio system the performer was a bit of an afterthought. You can be a wildcard on the internet. But if you put something on the internet once it's out there it's out there for life. ~ Bill Burr
Comedian quotes by Bill Burr
I think you're a better comedian when you're in the moment and you're kind of reacting to what's happening like a real person instead of doing rote memorization. ~ Scott Aukerman
Comedian quotes by Scott Aukerman
I don't think I was a good comedian. ~ Brigitte Bardot
Comedian quotes by Brigitte Bardot
You know, I've never thought of myself as a comedian. ~ Terry Jones
Comedian quotes by Terry Jones
In 1965, worked with Nite Owl bringing street gangs under control. Tackled the Big Figure together. Brought down Underboss together. Good team.
Until he got soft, like rest. Until he quit.
No staying power. None of them. Except Comedian. Met him in 1966. Forceful personality. Didn't care if people liked him. Uncompromising. Admired that.
Of us all, he understood most. About world. About people. About society and what's happening to it.
Things everyone knows in gut. Things everyone too scared to face, too polite to talk about. He understood.
Understood man's capacity for horrors and never quit. Saw the world's black underbelly and never surrendered. Once man has seen, he can never turn his back on it. Never pretend it doesn't exist.
No matter who orders him to look the other way.
We do not do this thing because it is permitted. We do it because we have to.
We do it because we are compelled. ~ Alan Moore
Comedian quotes by Alan Moore
They all laughed when I said I'd become a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now. ~ Bob Monkhouse
Comedian quotes by Bob Monkhouse
I am a comedian and you guys know whatever I say, I don't mean any of it. ~ Jamie Foxx
Comedian quotes by Jamie Foxx
Shut up ... let me tell you, LET ME. Every time I look at your face or even remember it, it wrecks me. And the way you are with me and you're just fun and you shit all over me and you make fun of me and you're real. I don't have enough time in any day to think about you enough ... I don't even think about women anymore. I think about you. ~ Louis C.K.
Comedian quotes by Louis C.K.
My preference is live performance. Because you get the feedback. There's an energy. It's live theater. That's why I think actors like that. You know, musicians need it, comedians definitely need it. It doesn't matter what size and what club, whether it's 30 people in the club or 2,000 in a hall or a theater. It's live, it's symbiotic, you need it. ~ Robin Williams
Comedian quotes by Robin Williams
I'm a standup comedian, so I need people. ~ Chelsea Handler
Comedian quotes by Chelsea Handler
People always call me a comedian. And I don't really see myself like that. I guess I just consider myself an actor who does comedy. But who wants to do other things as well. ~ Kristen Wiig
Comedian quotes by Kristen Wiig
Some of the best ideas I've gotten for my act have come from comedians and not magicians. ~ Andrew Mayne
Comedian quotes by Andrew Mayne
Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish? ~ Paul Lynde
Comedian quotes by Paul Lynde
But if applause throws off your timing, then you're not the kind of comedian I would like to see. All you have to do is stand there and take it. ~ Jay Mohr
Comedian quotes by Jay Mohr
And what is the reaction of the British politcal class? Well the Lib Dems, still think that the Euro is a success! I don't quiet think where Cleggy gets this from, I don't know. Prehaps he is cosidering an alternative career, as a stand up comedian, once he's out of politics. ~ Nigel Farage
Comedian quotes by Nigel Farage
When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.' ~ Susan Sarandon
Comedian quotes by Susan Sarandon
It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians. ~ Wanda Sykes
Comedian quotes by Wanda Sykes
Yes, I'm known as America's most genuine comedian. ~ Eugene Mirman
Comedian quotes by Eugene Mirman
Although I'm a comedian, I'm also an amateur survivalist. ~ Nick Kroll
Comedian quotes by Nick Kroll
One of my first jobs was on a lesbian cruise. I was the ship comedian for the Lesbian Love Boat. ~ Margaret Cho
Comedian quotes by Margaret Cho
I find my fans are really funny people. Most comedians can't say that about their fans. ~ Mike Birbiglia
Comedian quotes by Mike Birbiglia
When you do late-night TV, you do different jokes in the same place every night. When you're on the road as a comedian, you do the same jokes in a different place every night. ~ Jay Leno
Comedian quotes by Jay Leno
If you can't write your own material, you have very little chance of making it as a comedian. ~ Rodney Dangerfield
Comedian quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Jack Benny was, without a doubt, the bravest comedian I have ever seen work. He wasn't afraid of silence. He would take as long as it took to tell the story. ~ Bob Newhart
Comedian quotes by Bob Newhart
There are three goals for any comedian: to make a living as a comedian; I've been fortunate to do that. To make a name for yourself and to be famous would be great - because it would give me that freedom. ~ Alonzo Bodden
Comedian quotes by Alonzo Bodden
I was booked into the Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas with three other comedians. We all were using the Riviera in-house shampoo, so we all had equal shine and bounce. ~ Mitch Hedberg
Comedian quotes by Mitch Hedberg
Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds. ~ Yakov Smirnoff
Comedian quotes by Yakov Smirnoff
I'm a comedian, and I like to work on my live show, and if I'm doing television, I don't have time to work on my live show, and I can become a lame comic, and that sucks. ~ Ron White
Comedian quotes by Ron White
I've been pitching a show of five female stand-up comedians through the generations, from Phyllis Diller to Amy Schumer, so when I got an e-mail asking me if I would participate in the Women in Comedy Festival, I was thrilled. ~ Wendy Liebman
Comedian quotes by Wendy Liebman
I told them I wanted to be a comedian, and they laughed; I became a comedian, no one's laughing now ~ Bob Monkhouse
Comedian quotes by Bob Monkhouse
If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you have no regime. ~ Jon Stewart
Comedian quotes by Jon Stewart
A lot of us [comedians] are drawn to the stage or show business or whatever because we didn't feel so great about ourselves, and we didn't know how to do anything about that, so we sought external approval. ~ Barry Crimmins
Comedian quotes by Barry Crimmins
When I started, you didn't make a lot of money by being a comedian. You didn't get a lot of respect. ~ David Steinberg
Comedian quotes by David Steinberg
[Comedian Jerry Seinfeld was nominated for a Grammy for his spoken-word children's album] Halloween ... Don't Give Up on Me. ~ Jamie Lee Curtis
Comedian quotes by Jamie Lee Curtis
If I'm doing something on stage, and it evokes an emotion, then I might show that emotion, but I also don't believe in being a preacher. If you have a point, that's a bonus. But the funny has to come first; otherwise, you shouldn't call yourself a comedian. ~ Trevor Noah
Comedian quotes by Trevor Noah
I had a lot of bad jobs but the one big internship I had is I interned for 'SNL' when I was 21 years old and that was the joke. You intern there and you think man, I'm going to be with the writers and the great comedians. Then you're getting everybody sandwiches and then the doors close and then all the great creatives are doing the work. ~ Jake Johnson
Comedian quotes by Jake Johnson
Many old music hall fans were present at the funeral today of Fred 'Chuckles' Jenkins, Britain's oldest and unfunniest comedian. In tribute, the vicar read out one of Fred's jokes, and the congregation had two minutes silence. ~ Ronnie Barker
Comedian quotes by Ronnie Barker
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