Helen Rowland Quotes

Eternity: The interval between the time when a woman discovers that a man is in love with her and the time when he finds it out himself and tells her about it.

Variety is the spice of love.

In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.

Going through life without love is like going through a good dinner without an appetite
everything seems so flat and tasteless.

Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?

Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing.

A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side and his nobler instincts - and another woman to help him forget them.

Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.

The feminine vanity-case is the graveyard of masculine illusions.

No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time.

When a man makes a woman his wife, it's the highest compliment he can pay her, and it's usually the last.

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last.

Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar in everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

Nobody is quite so blase and sophisticated as a boy of nineteen who is just recovering from a baby grand passion

An optimist is merely an ex-pessimist with his pockets full of money, his digestion in good condition, and his wife in the country.

A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little personal characteristics.

It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing.

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.

France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are 'made in America.'

Some widowers are bereaved
others, relieved.

Love: woman's eternal spring and man's eternal fall.

A woman flees from temptation, but a man just crawls away from it in the cheerful hope that it may overtake him.

When a girl marries, she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one.

A man's ideal woman is the one he couldn't get.

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

For repeating themselves from the first kiss to the last sigh, the average man's love affairs have History blushing with envy.

Marriage: a souvenir of love.

And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.

Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.

A good woman is known by what she does; a good man by what he doesn't.

Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.

Soft, sweet things with a lot of fancy dressing - that's what a little boy loves to eat and a grown man prefers to marry.

The follies which a man regrets most, in his life, are those he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.

You will never win if you never begin.

No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree; she just naturally becomes a "Master of Arts" and a "Doctor of Philosophy" after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.

Love is a matter of give and take
marriage, a matter of misgive and mistake.

When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart.

The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the
woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him" –

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

It's easier to hide your light under a bushel than to keep your shady side dark.

What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.

A man marries one woman to escape from many others, and then chases many others to forget he's married to one.

The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.

Marriage is the only thing that affords a woman the pleasure of company and the perfect sensation of solitude at the same time.

A man seldom thinks of marrying when he meets his ideal woman; he waits until he gets the marrying fever and then idealizes the first woman he happens to meet.

Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

A bachelor has to have an inspiration for making love to a woman
a married man needs only an excuse.

Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.

To a man, marriage means giving up four out of five of the chiffonier drawers; to a woman, giving up four out of five of her opinions.

The hardest task in a girl's life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious.

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.

It is as hard to get a man to stay at home after you've married him as it was to get him to go home before you married him.

Fortunately for women, most men mistake loneliness for love before marriage, and habit for happiness afterward.

There are more ways of killing a man's love than by strangling it to death, but that's the usual way.

Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.

A man always mistakes a woman's clinging devotion for weakness, until he discovers that it requires the strength of Samson, the patience of Job, and the finesse of Solomon to untwine it.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray.

Better a lively old epigram than a deadly new one.

The dollar sign is the only sign in which the modern man appears to have any real faith.

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.

Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.

A widow is a fascinating being with the flavor of maturity, the spice of experience, the piquancy of novelty, the tang of practiced coquetry, and the halo of one man's approval.

Verily, the best of husbands hath many raw edges, and many unnecessary pleats in his temper, and many wrinkles in his disposition, which must be removed.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Some men are born for matrimony, some achieve matrimony
but most of them are merely poor dodgers.

After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him.

Nothing annoys a man as to hear a woman promising to love him "forever" when he merely wanted her to love him for a few weeks.

To make a man perfectly happy tell him he works too hard, that he spends too much money, that he is misunderstood or that he is different; none of this is necessarily complimentary, but it will flatter him infinitely more that merely telling him that he is brilliant, or noble, or wise, or good.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

A fool and her money are soon courted.