Stupid Funny Quotes

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Quotes About Stupid Funny

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I'm so smart now. Everyone's always like 'take your top off'. Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot. I'm not stupid. ~ Paris Hilton
Stupid Funny quotes by Paris Hilton
I think a lot of times we don't pay enough attention to people with a positive attitude because we assume they are naive or stupid or unschooled. ~ Amy Adams
Stupid Funny quotes by Amy Adams
I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family. ~ George W. Bush
Stupid Funny quotes by George W. Bush
I used to be stupid but I've turned that situation around 360 degrees. ~ Scott Adams
Stupid Funny quotes by Scott Adams
Hard-ons don't make you think less. They make you think stupid. ~ Dani Alexander
Stupid Funny quotes by Dani Alexander
A bachelor's life is no life for a single man. ~ Samuel Goldwyn
Stupid Funny quotes by Samuel Goldwyn
I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them. ~ George H. W. Bush
Stupid Funny quotes by George H. W. Bush
It's time for the human race to enter the solar system. ~ Dan C. Quayle
Stupid Funny quotes by Dan C. Quayle
Jane, this young man is Jacob, my oldest son. It's no secret that a
headmistress's biggest challenge is her family. Jacob, say hello to Jane."
"Hello to Jane," he parroted, pulling out the pockets of his shorts in a silly
curtsey.
I couldn't decide if it was the dumbest thing I'd ever seen, or the funniest,
so I stared back at him. ~ Marta Acosta
Stupid Funny quotes by Marta Acosta
I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. ~ David Beckham
Stupid Funny quotes by David Beckham
I'm just saying stupid, funny things when I'm hanging out on the TV show. When I'm making music I'm in a completely different zone. ~ Chanel West Coast
Stupid Funny quotes by Chanel West Coast
Dog love is blind. For that matter, dog love is stupid. ~ Rob Sheffield
Stupid Funny quotes by Rob Sheffield
The problem with having evil minions is that minions are stupid. ~ Larissa Ione
Stupid Funny quotes by Larissa Ione
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. ~ Hedy Lamarr
Stupid Funny quotes by Hedy Lamarr
There's not one thing that inspires me the most. Me and my friends joke around with each other and hang out so much that whatever makes us laugh really hard makes it into 'Workaholics.' But the characters that I think are funny are guys that are confidently stupid. ~ Adam DeVine
Stupid Funny quotes by Adam DeVine
Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was.
Where people went wrong was thinking that simple meant the same thing as stupid. ~ Terry Pratchett
Stupid Funny quotes by Terry Pratchett
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? ~ Steven Wright
Stupid Funny quotes by Steven Wright
The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing. ~ Dizzy Dean
Stupid Funny quotes by Dizzy Dean
Men know everything - all of them - all the time - no matter how stupid or inexperienced or arrogant or ignorant they are. ~ Andrea Dworkin
Stupid Funny quotes by Andrea Dworkin
It turns out your not dyslexic, your just really really stupid. ~ Frankie Boyle
Stupid Funny quotes by Frankie Boyle
Most of the gaffes I've made have not been funny - they've been stupid. ~ Jim Lehrer
Stupid Funny quotes by Jim Lehrer
If I stand here, I can see the Little Red Haired girl when she comes out of her house ... Of course, if she sees me peeking around this tree, she'll think I'm the dumbest person in the world ... But if I don't peek around the tree, I'll never see her ... Which means I probably AM the dumbest person in the world ... which explains why I'm standing in a batch of poison oak. ~ Charles M. Schulz
Stupid Funny quotes by Charles M. Schulz
A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark. ~ H.L. Mencken
Stupid Funny quotes by H.L. Mencken
It used to be cars had cool names: Dart, Hawk, Fury, Cougar, Firebird, Hornet, Mustang, Barracuda. Now we have Elantra, Altima, Acura, Lumina, Sentra, Corolla, Maxima, Tercel. Further proof that America has lost its edge. ~ George Carlin
Stupid Funny quotes by George Carlin
Doug: I would not wipe my ass with your manuscript. Would you like to know why?
Bob: Sure
Doug: Because there is crap already all over it. ~ Joseph Cognard
Stupid Funny quotes by Joseph Cognard
Computers are stupid. ~ Pablo Picasso
Stupid Funny quotes by Pablo Picasso
Twenty-five years from now all religion will be fundamentalist religion, even the Church of England. Wild-eyed "Tutuist" Anglicans will riot in Anzania (formerly the Union of South Africa). They'll force people to play contract bridge at gunpoint and make unbelievers eat little sandwiches with the crusts cut off. No woman will dare appear in the street without a small, stupid hat like Queen Di's. ~ P. J. O'Rourke
Stupid Funny quotes by P. J. O'Rourke
What do you mean 'speaking of fairy tales'? Since when do fairy tales include gigolos?" Annie asked.
"Well, since most fairy-tale princes are either gay or weirdly attached to their mommies, I think Walt Disney should seriously consider their inclusion," Sophie answered. ~ Elle Aycart
Stupid Funny quotes by Elle Aycart
Unfortunately, yes.' Hazel gazed across the water, where the Argo II bobbed at anchor. 'Artemis knows a lot about missile weapons. She told us Octavian has ordered some … surprises for Camp Half-Blood. He's used most of the legion's treasure to purchase Cyclopes-built onagers.'
'Oh, no, not onagers!' Leo said. 'Also, what's an onager?'
Frank scowled. 'You build machines. How can you not know what an onager is? It's just the biggest, baddest catapult ever used by the Roman army.'
'Fine,' Leo said. 'But onager is a stupid name. They should've called them Valdezapults. ~ Rick Riordan
Stupid Funny quotes by Rick Riordan
Cops are stupid. ~ Deyth Banger
Stupid Funny quotes by Deyth Banger
I never came across anyone in whom the moral sense was dominant who was not heartless, cruel, vindictive, log-stupid, and entirely lacking in the smallest sense of humanity. Moral people, as they are termed, are simple beasts. ~ Oscar Wilde
Stupid Funny quotes by Oscar Wilde
I remember the number to the school's desk because last year,
Molly thought it would be funny to prank-call a teacher and
tell them that the queen wanted to come on a royal visit. We
got detention for a week. I assure you, my friends are a very bad
influence on me. ~ Sophie Wilkinson
Stupid Funny quotes by Sophie Wilkinson
O, elixir of youth, thy name is hair dye. ~ E.A. Bucchianeri
Stupid Funny quotes by E.A. Bucchianeri
A last trick is to become personal, insulting and rude as soon as you perceive that your opponent has the upper hand. In becoming personal you leave the subject altogether, and turn your attack on the person by remarks of an offensive and spiteful character. This is a very popular trick, because everyone is able to carry it into effect. ~ Arthur Schopenhauer
Stupid Funny quotes by Arthur Schopenhauer
Sometimes I get really lonely. Especially when I'm throwing a Frisbee. ~ Mitch Hedberg
Stupid Funny quotes by Mitch Hedberg
Gankis lifted an arm to point at the distant shale cliffs. "And in the face of it there were thousands of little holes, little what-you-call-'ems ... "
"Alcoves," Kennit supplied in an almost dreamy voice. "I call them alcoves, Gankis. As would you, if you could speak your own mother tongue. ~ Robin Hobb
Stupid Funny quotes by Robin Hobb
Yes, yes. Aim for the sun. That way if you miss, at least your arrow will fall far away, and the person it kills will likely be someone you don't know. ~ Brandon Sanderson
Stupid Funny quotes by Brandon Sanderson
Groupies are like chocolate ... A stupid man will think he can gorge himself on them with no consequences. But then he turns around and discovers they're just empty calories. They've just messed up his life when the only thing good for him was what he'd already been eating all along. - Nick Blackthorne ~ Lexxie Couper
Stupid Funny quotes by Lexxie Couper
I'm a lager drinker. I'm quite a stupid lager drinker. I do like my lager and mashed potatoes. ~ Rhona Mitra
Stupid Funny quotes by Rhona Mitra
But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like "Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!" ~ Bill Bailey
Stupid Funny quotes by Bill Bailey
Italians love emotional people. If you're reserved you either have something to hide or you're just plain stupid. ~ Joe Novella
Stupid Funny quotes by Joe Novella
On the mound is Randy Jones, the left-hander with the Karl Marx hairdo. ~ Jerry Coleman
Stupid Funny quotes by Jerry Coleman
Funny is always a good way to start when in doubt ~ Ocean R Stark
Stupid Funny quotes by Ocean R Stark
If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough. ~ Mario Andretti
Stupid Funny quotes by Mario Andretti
Safe! All I wanted to do was keep them safe. How do you protect your brothers at eight-fucking-teen? How do you make enough money, get enough respect to do that? I wasn't smart, Eve. I'm a big, dumb fucking bastard. I couldn't even get a job as a bagger at the A&P. I wanted to make their lives worth living. That's what they'd done for me - made my life worth living. They're my family. I can't ... I just can't." Beckett pounded his chest.
"They would've been better off without me," he continued. "Blake would still be homeless, but Cole made his own damn way. But I wanted in. I wanted to belong. I was too fucking selfish to walk away. I should have walked away. But I didn't and now - " Beckett choked on a deep, angry sob. "Now, they're paying for it. All my stupid decisions. They'll die tonight. They'll both die, and I can't stop it. I can't plug it with money. I can't bring them back from the dead, even if I act tough or kill more people. ~ Debra Anastasia
Stupid Funny quotes by Debra Anastasia
No one takes you seriously when you're naked. ~ Kevin Hearne
Stupid Funny quotes by Kevin Hearne
I thumped her on the back, picked her up and dropped her on top of her dungarees. "Put them pants on," I said, "and be a man." She did, but she cried quietly until I shook her and said gently, "Stop it now. I didn't carry on like that when I was a little girl." I got into my clothes and dumped her into the bow of the canoe and shoved off.
All the way back to the cabin I forced her to play one of our pet games. I would say something - anything - and she would try to say something that rhymed with it. Then it would be her turn. She had an extraordinary rhythmic sense, and an excellent ear.
I started off with "We'll go home and eat our dinners."
"An' Lord have mercy on us sinners," she cried. Then, "Let's see you find a rhyme for 'month'!"
"I bet I'll do it … jutht thith onthe," I replied. "I guess I did it then, by cracky."
"Course you did, but then you're wacky. Top that, mister funny-lookin'!"
I pretended I couldn't, mainly because I couldn't, and she soundly kicked my shin as a penance. By the time we reached the cabin she was her usual self, and I found myself envying the resilience of youth. And she earned my undying respect by saying nothing to Anjy about the afternoon's events, even when Anjy looked us over and said, "Just look at you two filthy kids! What have you been doing - swimming in the bayou?"
"Daddy splashed me," said Patty promptly.
"And you had to splash him back. Why did he splash you?"
" 'Cause I spit mud through ~ Theodore Sturgeon
Stupid Funny quotes by Theodore Sturgeon
Everyone told me it was a really stupid idea to start my own hedge fund right out of business school,' says Ackman of the idea. 'That's how I knew that it was a good idea. ~ Maneet Ahuja
Stupid Funny quotes by Maneet Ahuja
It's funny: I spend time in the book criticizing social media, but I'm also aware that a lot of my success is because of social media. I can broadcast myself and my work to thousands of people that are following me or my friends. I do think that social media can be good for self-promotion. ~ Kim Stolz
Stupid Funny quotes by Kim Stolz
Without discussing it with his mother, Anton went up to his teacher, Miss Katballe, and informed her that after seven years he was now quitting school. It was the best day of her life, she replied. With unexpected politeness he bowed, thanked her, and said, likewise. ~ Carsten Jensen
Stupid Funny quotes by Carsten Jensen
I'm a cat person. I have two giant cats [Harry and Arturo] that I call the small panthers. They're like 17 pounds each-they're big boys! Every photo on my phone is of them doing something funny. ~ Dave Franco
Stupid Funny quotes by Dave Franco
Life is tough, and it's really tough when you're stupid. ~ Damon Runyon
Stupid Funny quotes by Damon Runyon
Hollywood is where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors. ~ Walter Winchell
Stupid Funny quotes by Walter Winchell
I strike fear into you because I am a man?"
"It isn't funny."
"I do not laugh. It is a sad thing, yes, that your husband is a man. A very terrible thing. ~ Catherine Anderson
Stupid Funny quotes by Catherine Anderson
After Natalie [Wood] and I got back from our honeymoon, I began The Hunters, with Robert Mitchum, directed by Dick Powell. I adored both of them. Powell was one of the great guys of all time, and Mitchum and I became fast friends. He insisted that I call him "Mother Mitchum." One day we cooked up a juvenile practical joke - we hired a girl to sit on a bench at lunchtime without any underpants on. We were in Arizona, at an Air Force base, and from the reaction you'd have thought the men of the United States Air Force had never seen a woman's private parts before. As word spread, we gradually brought the entire base to a halt. The fact that it was juvenile didn't make it any less funny; actually, it made it funnier. ~ Robert Wagner
Stupid Funny quotes by Robert Wagner
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