Funny Drug Quotes

Collection of famous quotes and sayings about Funny Drug.

Quotes About Funny Drug

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I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body. ~ Charlie Sheen
Funny Drug quotes by Charlie Sheen
I will lift mine eyes unto the pills. Almost everyone takes them, from the humble aspirin to the multi-colored, king-sized three deckers, which put you to sleep, wake you up, stimulate and soothe you all in one. It is an age of pills. ~ Malcolm Muggeridge
Funny Drug quotes by Malcolm Muggeridge
I say no to drugs, but they don't listen. ~ Marilyn Manson
Funny Drug quotes by Marilyn Manson
I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells. ~ Richard Pryor
Funny Drug quotes by Richard Pryor
Forty million Americans smoked marijuana; the only ones who didn't like it were Judge Ginsberg, Clarence Thomas and Bill Clinton. ~ Jay Leno
Funny Drug quotes by Jay Leno
All drugs of any interest to any moderately intelligent person in America are now illegal. ~ Thomas Szasz
Funny Drug quotes by Thomas Szasz
I have nothing to declare but my genius, and this four-kilo bag of cocaine. ~ Oscar Wilde
Funny Drug quotes by Oscar Wilde
Lay off the needle drugs. The only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon. ~ Abbie Hoffman
Funny Drug quotes by Abbie Hoffman
You need a good bedside manner with doctors or you will get nowhere. ~ William S. Burroughs
Funny Drug quotes by William S. Burroughs
I know you love me." Wistful and filled with wonder. "I love you, too."

Somehow, it's not enough. "For real though, babe. The only person I love more than you is myself."

A loud laugh fills the otherwise darkened room. "Oh my god, tell me you did not just say that."

Am I missing something here? "What's so damn funny? I'm being serious."

"The only person you love more than me is you?"

"Yeah, so?"

"You're ridiculous."

"But you love me?"

"So much. ~ Sara Ney
Funny Drug quotes by Sara Ney
You should eat a waffle! You can't be sad if you eat a waffle! ~ Lauren Myracle
Funny Drug quotes by Lauren Myracle
Don't try and make me feel better, Alex. I hate you."
"I hate you, too. ~ Simone Elkeles
Funny Drug quotes by Simone Elkeles
It may be thought justifiable to require tests on animals of potentially life-saving drugs, but the same kinds of tests are used for products like cosmetics, food coloring, and floor polishes. Should thousands of animals suffer so that a new kind of lipstick or floor wax can be put on the market? Don't we already have an excess of most of these products? Who benefits from their introduction, except the companies that hope to profit from them? ~ Peter Singer
Funny Drug quotes by Peter Singer
I love fishing. You put that line in the water and you don't know what's on the other end. Your imagination is under there. ~ Robert Altman
Funny Drug quotes by Robert Altman
I would love to do a comedy, but comedy probably in the sense of a dark comedy like 'Californication,' that sort of thing. Yeah, sure, I think I'm funny. ~ Jason Wiles
Funny Drug quotes by Jason Wiles
At the end of each year I make a list of my mistakes and it's pretty friggin long. ~ Dean Lombardi
Funny Drug quotes by Dean Lombardi
I was on a bus once, it was in the middle of the night, and I had a box of crackers and a can of Easy Cheese. It was dark, and it was a surprise how much cheese I had applied on each cracker. That's why they should have a glow-in-the-dark version of Easy Cheese. It's not like the product has any integrity to begin with. If you buy a room-temperature cheese that you squeeze out of a can, you probably won't get mad because it glows in the dark too. ~ Mitch Hedberg
Funny Drug quotes by Mitch Hedberg
Oh here's an idea: let's make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine's Day. That's not weird at all. ~ Jimmy Fallon
Funny Drug quotes by Jimmy Fallon
Haha, I can't hit you. If I did, I'd feel sorry for the person who'd have to clean up the mess of your splattered brain. ~ Kyousuke Motomi
Funny Drug quotes by Kyousuke Motomi
Had be been Shakespeare, he would then have written Troilus and Cressidato brand the offending sex; but being only a little dog, he began to bite them. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
Funny Drug quotes by Robert Louis Stevenson
I don't see the point of watching men exercise. ~ Natasha Leggero
Funny Drug quotes by Natasha Leggero
She texted me 'I love you.'
I texted back 'I love you too.'
She then texted me 'I love you more.'
And I smiled reading her message and texted in reply 'No, I love you more.'
Then she texted me 'I love you infinity power infinity power infinity into infinity.'
I had no words to reply and smiled looking at her text! ~ Avijeet Das
Funny Drug quotes by Avijeet Das
The funny thing about gold is how quickly it can tarnish. ~ Robyn Schneider
Funny Drug quotes by Robyn Schneider
I'd love a drug that was good for you, I was thinking about ecstacy with Vitamin B. ~ Gavin Rossdale
Funny Drug quotes by Gavin Rossdale
I always thought realistic was a better way to explain things that were "dramedies" because life is like that. It's funny, it's dramatic and to me that's how I see it. ~ Seth Rogen
Funny Drug quotes by Seth Rogen
You hate birthdays yet pee your pants over presents. There is clearly something wrong with you, Garrett joked. ~ Tara Sivec
Funny Drug quotes by Tara Sivec
You can make fun of yourself and people will laugh at you. If you're smart, you'll end up as a comedian. If you're not, you'll end up as a clown. ~ Ljupka Cvetanova
Funny Drug quotes by Ljupka Cvetanova
I like to think of bread as really bland cake. ~ Jim Gaffigan
Funny Drug quotes by Jim Gaffigan
Ambition is a funny thing. You can completely screw yourself with it if you're not careful. ~ Simon Le Bon
Funny Drug quotes by Simon Le Bon
I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home. ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Funny Drug quotes by Dark Jar Tin Zoo
OY! Stop playing around and lets cook already!"
*smack*
J-just now, that made a really loud noise.."
Do you wanna hear it again?"
N-no, you'll just hit me again!"
Kyo and Tohru ~ Natsuki Takaya
Funny Drug quotes by Natsuki Takaya
I had a dream about you last night. We watched pornography together, but purely for the storyline. ~ Michael Summers
Funny Drug quotes by Michael Summers
Nothing becomes funny by being labelled so. ~ William Strunk Jr.
Funny Drug quotes by William Strunk Jr.
I honestly can't think of any drug that has more of a stigma than antipsychotics. Truthfully ~ Jenny Lawson
Funny Drug quotes by Jenny Lawson
But you have to understand, my beard is so nasty. I mean, it's the only beard in the history of Western civilization that makes Bob Dylan's beard look good. ~ Bill Walton
Funny Drug quotes by Bill Walton
A lot of things run through your head when you're going in to relieve in a tight spot. One of them was, "Should I spike myself?" ~ Lefty Gomez
Funny Drug quotes by Lefty Gomez
That old funny-shaped bit of wood is still staring me in the face every day saying 'come on, you haven't started yet!' It's infinite. ~ Jeff Beck
Funny Drug quotes by Jeff Beck
If it looks like a cat, walks like a cat, and has whiskers like a cat, it's probably a damn cat. But if it eats your groceries, messes up your kitchen, and makes you want to rip out your hair by the roots, you either married it or gave birth to it ~ Lois Greiman
Funny Drug quotes by Lois Greiman
People drink and do drugs for a reason. Cause it makes them feel good - until it doesn't anymore. ~ Michael Botticelli
Funny Drug quotes by Michael Botticelli
Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn't pay for the electricity, he'd pay for the candle on your nightstand, so you can study for the big test tomorrow. ~ Chris Rock
Funny Drug quotes by Chris Rock
Remove yourself, sir! ~ David McCullough
Funny Drug quotes by David McCullough
Kane ignored his brother and said, "You're seducing us."

We all scratched our necks.

"That is ridiculous," I said, waving Kane off.

"No," Nico snarled, "It's not. I know you Bronagh. You're constantly touching me, bending over in front of me and drawing as much attention to your ass and body as possible. You know damn well what you're doing to me."

Bronagh remained silent, as did the rest of us.

"You seduced me in the bathroom, Keela," Alec hissed at me. "Then you stole my boxes right out from under me."

I wanted to laugh so I bowed my head and cast my eyes to the floor to avoid doing so. I glanced at Kane when he crossed his arms across his chest and stared at Aideen.

"You grazed your ass against me five times. Five. Times. You evil bitch."

I lifted my hand to my mouth and covered it when a snicker escaped.

"You think this is funny!" Ryder bellowed. "My cock was so hard for you Branna and you were all 'Stop it, we have to pack boxes.'"

I erupted into laughter at Ryder's impression of Branna, and so did the other girls. ~ L.A. Casey
Funny Drug quotes by L.A. Casey
If you find yourself lost in the woods, build a house. "Well, I was lost, but now I live here!" ~ Mitch Hedberg
Funny Drug quotes by Mitch Hedberg
Is that what you were doing in my room?" he asks after a moment.
I sigh. Why am I telling him any of this? "Yes. I was on assignment."
"I was your assignment?"
"Yes."
He hesitates a moment, then grins. "That's kind of hot. ~ Rachel Morgan
Funny Drug quotes by Rachel Morgan
I get the feeling humanity would be thrilled to discover life on another planet. So why not rediscover it here and really cherish it. ~ Tom Althouse
Funny Drug quotes by Tom Althouse
The menu at the Hug Deli included, among other items, the Warm and Fuzzy Hug, the Beverly Hills Air Kiss Hug, and the Gangsta Hug, with side orders of Pinch, Tickle, and Back Scratch. She ordered the Long Uncomfortable Hug, because she thought that was funny, thereby prompting a nut-brown Venice Beach-looking dude to hold on to her, earnestly pokerfaced, for a seeming eternity.
"Are you uncomfortable yet?"
"Fairly, yes."
"Excellent. My work here is done."
She laughed and mounted on her bike, pedalling away from the zany mirage as her gratuitous hugger shouted "Namaste" in her direction. ~ Armistead Maupin
Funny Drug quotes by Armistead Maupin
I don't know how much more of this 'sugarplum' shit I can take.

I'm about ready to hand over my balls just so he can feel what it's like to have a pair again.

-Jackson 'Blame It on the Pain ~ Ashley Jade
Funny Drug quotes by Ashley Jade
I always hoped for this spark of chemistry and compatibility, a flash of clarity to let me know that this was the guy, this was the time, so I should leg go and enjoy myself. But it never came. And by no small coincidence, neither did I. ~ Molly Harper
Funny Drug quotes by Molly Harper
Whoever invented the spork should be killed. ~ Neal Shusterman
Funny Drug quotes by Neal Shusterman
The Marquis sighed. "I thought it was just a legend," he said. "Like the alligators in the sewers of New York City."
Old Bailey nodded, sagely: "What, the big white buggers? They're down there. I had a friend lost a head to one of them." A moment of silence. Old Naeiley handed the statue back to the Marquis. Then he raised his hand, and snapped it, like a crocodile hand, at the Carabas. "It was OK," gurned Old Bailey with a grin that was most terrible to behold. "He had another. ~ Neil Gaiman
Funny Drug quotes by Neil Gaiman
Sleep just go to sleep.
Cam lived across the hall?
You need to get up early. Go to sleep.
How in the world was that possible? He was everywhere I went.
Go to sleep.
And why did he have a pet turtle and did he seriously name it after the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, because that was kind of funny.
Morning's going to come soon.
Did he only wear a shirt during class? Oh my God, he seriously lived across the hall. Jacob was going to flip ... and probably move in. That would be fun. I really liked Jacob, but I had a feeling he'd borrow my clothes.
Go the fuck to sleep. ~ J. Lynn
Funny Drug quotes by J. Lynn
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