Funny Springer Spaniel Quotes

In the blue sky overhead, larks sang like my heart. ~ Nancy Springer

Yet one could speak truth and still be a villain ~ Nancy Springer

General systems theory and cybernetics are
deterministic while human actions are not! ~ Springer

Nothing last forever except change ~ Nancy Springer

She'd grown to hate people in authority. They did bad things and got away with it. ~ Jan Springer

Confound my genteel upbringing! I could not think of any name foul enough to call him. ~ Nancy Springer

Somewhere in the land, a monster lurked. ~ Jerry Springer

I'm in shape, but only if you consider a circle a shape. ~ Jerry Springer

Not only was Miss Cribbe bearded, and always trying to get chummy with us like we we're her real children or something, but she had a disgusting incontinent springer spaniel called Misty, who was constantly sneaking in to the dorms and weeing on our duvets ~ Tyne O'Connell

Fathers - half of anyone's life seemed to be about who fathered them. ~ Nancy Springer

With a face like mine, I do better in print. ~ Jerry Springer

All the words I had prepared turned coward and fled my mind like conscripts deserting a battlefield. ~ Nancy Springer

The only way for me to be safe and free was to be - be what my name decreed me. Enola. Alone. ~ Nancy Springer

You're a transsexual fighting with a hermaphrodite over a mistress. ~ Jerry Springer

[Invading Iraq] would create generations that hated the USA. ~ Jerry Springer

He doesn't hug back.
But he doesn't pull away, either.
Yeah, we're improving. ~ Elyse Springer

My dear sister...

His dear sister.

Those words - how oddly they affected me ~ Nancy Springer

To her, everything is beautiful in its own way, and everyone is a friend just waiting for her. And somehow it works for her. ~ Nancy Springer

Although a large branch of game theory is devoted to the study of expected utility, we generally consider each player's payoffs as a ranking of his most preferred outcome to his least preferred outcome. ~ William Spaniel

All of us, whether or not we're celebrities, every one ought to spend part of their life making someone else's life better. ~ Jerry Springer

The mind wants to live forever, or to learn a very good reason why not. The mind wants the world to return its love, or its awareness ... The mind's sidekick, however, will settle for two eggs over easy. The dear, stupid body is easily satisfied as a spaniel. And, incredibly, the simple spaniel can lure the brawling mind to its dish. It is everlastingly funny that the proud, metaphysically ambitious mind will hush if you give it an egg. ~ Annie Dillard

Look after yourself and each other ~ Jerry Springer

To be a man, apparently, was to lack the ability to be a woman ~ Nancy Springer

I should get a weekend show where all I do is play country music. ~ Jerry Springer

My guess is more reporters probably vote Democrat than Republican - just because I think reporters are smart. ~ Jerry Springer

In one generation, my family went from extermination simply because of how they pray to God to this ridiculously privileged life I live today. So how can I not love America? ~ Jerry Springer

Thank God for Jerry Springer's show. I thought only black folks were that screwed up until I watched Jerry Springer. ~ Charles Barkley

Why have we books in heaven?"
"Why not?" asked my brother. "What strange ideas we mortals have of the pleasures and duties of this blessed life!... ~ Rebecca Ruter Springer

In the end we're all Jerry Springer Show guests, really, we just haven't been on the show. ~ Marilyn Manson

It's hard thinking about Iraq at night when I'm dancing with transvestites in the afternoon. ~ Jerry Springer

We are all born as empty vessels which can be shaped by moral values. ~ Jerry Springer

I watch sports and cable news. I'm a political junkie, so that's my interest. ~ Jerry Springer

I knew early on that I would do politics, but I would never make a living at it. I would do something else. ~ Jerry Springer

I play a crazy talk-show host, but that's not me. It's like an actor playing a role. ~ Jerry Springer

Love is great for us, but we don't always love who is great for us. ~ Jerry Springer

A mother who is afraid to admit that she resents her children may interfere so much in their lives, under the pretect of being concerned about their welfare and safety, that her over-protection is really a form of punishment. ~ Calvin Springer Hall

Writing fiction has always, for me, been an alchemy of turning pain into poetry, ugliness into beauty. It has been a kind of redemption. ~ Nancy Springer

I'm a happy guy, but if I'm in a rare dark mood, I won't go out because I don't want to be horrible to people. ~ Jerry Springer

I think one of the sweetest proofs we have of the Father's loving care for us is that we often find in this life the things which gave us great happiness below. ~ Rebecca Ruter Springer

Obviously I wanted to be a bus driver - and I still do. If only I could get a part time job. ~ Jerry Springer

To go from politics to news, at least the subject matter is the same, even if the view is different. ~ Jerry Springer

It really was a hell of a motorcycle, ..It was arguably the first American motorcycle company, beating Harley by a year or so. Indian was the standard by which everything was gauged. ~ Jerry Springer

I treat politics kind of like my religion. It's something I believe in, but I don't want to have to make a living at it, because if you make a living at it, you somehow become dishonest. ~ Jerry Springer

Jean sat at the end of the bar, watching Jerry Springer as she drew deeply on a long cigarette. The woman smoked like a freight train, especially while watching talk shows. ~ Rose Wynters

Day by day we are building for eternity ... Every gentle word, every generous thought, every unselfish deed will become a pillar of eternal beauty in the life to come. ~ Rebecca Ruter Springer

We can't just have mainstream behavior on television in a free society, we have to make sure we see the whole panorama of human behavior. ~ Jerry Springer

I am your spaniel; and, Demetrius,
The more you beat me, I will fawn on you:
Use me but as your spaniel, spurn me, strike me,
Neglect me, lose me; only give me leave,
Unworthy as I am, to follow you.
What worse place can I beg in your love,
And yet a place of high respect with me,
Than to be used as you use your dog? ~ William Shakespeare

The bias against the show is purely elitist. We're all like the people on the show - the difference is that some of us speak better, or were born richer. There's nothing that happens on my show that rich people don't experience. ~ Jerry Springer

TV is a huge draw. It's a magnet. Even when I was a policeman, if I was on a police scene and the news showed up, I'd race home to see if I would be on TV for 2 seconds! ~ Jerry Springer

You want loyalty, hire a cocker spaniel. ~ Michael Lewis

I don't have 'The Jerry Springer Show'. I just got 'Family Feud', but some of them families, when they lose, man, they have some real conversations with each other back behind that wall, but I've never been involved in any of them. ~ Steve Harvey

You know how is it when you love someone? And the hard part, the bad part, the Jerry Springer Show part is that you never stop loving someone. There's always a piece of them in your heart. ~ Neil Gaiman

I can't deny that Jerry Springer supposedly beating us didn't affect me. There was a point where I felt like, Golly, you work so hard, you try so hard and the people say they want meaningful television and then Jerry Springer ends up beating you. It was disturbing. ~ Oprah Winfrey

Succotash my cocker spaniel, you fudging crevasse-hole dipshiitake! ~ Jonathan Safran Foer

Some lucky people can be funny without half trying because they actually look funny, because acting funny is in their bones - fun as funny, not funny as crude slapstick. ~ F. Sionil Jose

The Statue of Liberty means everything. We take it for granted today. We take it for granted. Remember the Statue of Liberty stands for what America is. We as Democrats have to remind ourselves and remind the country the great principles we stand for. This is a place of protection. This is not a country of bullies. We are not an empire. We are the light. We are the Statue of Liberty. ~ Jerry Springer

The problem is that we live in an uptight country. Why don't we just laugh at ourselves? We are funny. Gays are funny. Straights are funny. Women are funny. Men are funny. We are all funny, and we all do funny things. Let's laugh about it. ~ Bob Newhart

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? ~ Steven Wright

Mama does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Dada first. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

Men know no medium: They will either, spaniel-like, fawn at your feet, or be ready to leap into your lap. ~ Samuel Richardson

You beef wit me, I'm-a even the score equally. Take you on Jerry Springer and beat your ass legally. ~ Eminem

Considering the length of time that women have been dependent, is it surprising that some of them hug their chains, and fawn like the spaniel? ~ Mary Wollstonecraft

I always was a funny guy, the class clown. I had a very funny dad and an extremely funny grandmother. ~ Charlie Day

If you ask me, I think Jerry Springer destroyed the public image of the USA. I mean up to early in the nineties I still imagined it like it was presented in hollywoodfilms and stuff. But then, early in the 90's they started broadcasting that freakshow in the Netherlands, and that new idea of entertainment, where you put the biggest morons you can find on screen so you can watch it and feel superior. Later on, politics also discovered the same formula. We want politicians we feel superior to. The very idea of anything being 'better' or 'higher' than us makes people extremely uncomfortable. ~ Martijn Benders

Slap-stick comedy is really funny, unless you're the one getting slapped with the stick. ~ Carroll Bryant

It's really easy to be funny. You get a lot of funny people in a room, the show is funny. ~ Jill Soloway

Mr Davis was a middle class tremble of a man worried about an unseemly display and his Jerry Springer moment ~ Saira Viola

You know, Lincoln was funny. I don't think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you're funny. ~ Al Franken

I find Anders very funny and funny lasts forever." Samantha ~ Angela Nicoara

Life before toilet paper was not worth living. ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

being funny is actually all about thinking "what if ?" in a creative way. ~ Shashankbisht

There is nothing that makes us feel so good as the idea that someone else is an evildoer. ~ Robert Lynd

I'm not funny. People assume that because my books are funny, I'll be funny in real life. It's the inevitable disappointment of meeting me. ~ Jonathan Safran Foer

As to the fragments of morality that are irregularly and thinly scattered in those books [the Bible], they make no part of this pretended thing, revealed religion. They are the natural dictates of conscience, and the bonds by which society is held together, and without which it cannot exist; and are nearly the same in all religions, and in all societies. The Testament teaches nothing new upon this subject, and where it attempts to exceed, it becomes mean and ridiculous. When it is said, as in the Testament, 'If a man smite thee on the right cheek, turn to him the other also,' it is assassinating the dignity of forbearance, and sinking man into a spaniel. ~ Thomas Paine

For instance, my friend would never go on the show to air her dirty-laundry. But Tremont is outrageous! I've been watching a lot of clips of "The Jerry Springer Show" on YouTube (I can't tell you how many clips there are!) I get to witness these men going through the process to become women and what they're sharing. My character is pre-op. She's had the breast augmentation but still got "the goods" down there. ~ Max Von Essen

Jean-Pierre Marquis, From a Geometrical Point of View: A Study of the History and Philosophy of Category Theory, Springer Science & Business Media, 2008. ~ Roger Scruton

I opposed the war in Iraq because I did not believe it was in our national security interest, and I still don't. What we [America] did was akin to taking a baseball bat to a beehive. Our primary security threat right now is terrorism
and by doing what we did in Iraq, we've managed to alienate a good part of the world and most of the allies whose intelligence and other help we need to combat and defeat terrorism. ~ Jerry Springer

Ish #109 If MapQuest says make a right, go straight. You'll get there quicker. ~ Regina Griffin

We can't against human stupidity. Because they are too many and too dangerous. ~ Nobita Nobi

A King Charles spaniel named Camilla Parker Bowles. Fucking Americans.

Black, Tasha (2014-12-22). Fate of the Alpha: Episode 1: A Tarker's Hollow Serial (Kindle Location 1321). 13th Story Press. Kindle Edition. ~ Tasha Black

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. ~ Helen Hayes

I like funny things, but I don't find myself particularly funny. ~ Chris Messina

I'm a demon...I'll curse a mermaid. I'll curse a cocker spaniel. I don't care about anything. ~ Cassandra Clare

You're a liability and a wild card and trouble seems to follow you like a homesick spaniel. ~ Jasper Fforde

Ish #21 Stop saying the only meat you eat is chicken. It's still meat! ~ Regina Griffin

Jeeves," I said. "A rummy communication has arrived. From Mr. Glossop."
"Indeed, sir?"
"I will read it to you. Handed in at Upper Bleaching. Message runs as follows:
When you come tomorrow, bring my football boots. Also, if humanly possible, Irish water-spaniel. Urgent. Regards. Tuppy.
"What do you make of that, Jeeves?"
"As I interpret the document, sir, Mr. Glossop wishes you, when you come tomorrow, to bring his football boots. Also, if humanly possible, an Irish water-spaniel. He hints that the matter is urgent, and sends his regards."
"Yes, that is how I read it. But why football boots?"
"Perhaps Mr. Glossop wishes to play football, sir. ~ P.G. Wodehouse

I never know when I am being funny, and the other way too. I don't think you can think about that. I don't think you can try to be funny. Some people are just funny. ~ Christopher Walken

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. ~ Natalie Wood

I attribute my wife's language to the fact that she's one-quarter spaniel. She says she's only an eighth, but, come on, the ears say it all. That and her mouth. (The Faithful Setter) ~ David Sedaris

Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything. ~ Steve Martin

I've never set out to write a funny movie or be a funny comedian as a woman. I am a woman. I don't really have a choice in the matter. My goal is just to be funny. ~ Maya Rudolph

As I get older, I just prefer to knit. ~ Tracey Ullman

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself. ~ Chris Rock

When you don't have a laugh track, you can make the clothes funny. We can make a sign funny. We can make the way somebody walks funny. The makeup can be funny. ~ Mitchell Hurwitz

I have funny bones. If there's ever any kind of tension, I'll always be the one to try and be funny to loosen things up. ~ Matt LeBlanc

Making modern games funny would be easy as pie if it was anybody's goal to actually make a funny game. ~ Doug TenNapel

Call me old-fashioned, but whenever I see those wire-fortified ribbons, I have the secret stab of nostalgia for old-timey ribbon, the kind whose ends flop like spaniel ears. I'm suspicious of unnaturally perky ribbon. ~ Rhoda Janzen

I grew up with an extremely funny dad, and my mom is super funny. ~ Paula Pell

You know ... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time ... husband!!! ~ Bill Maher

But I think once the word gets out that the movie is funny - funny is transcendent - it will traverse all demographic barriers if people embrace it as a funny movie. ~ Thomas Haden Church