Will Ferrell Quotes

In the fourth grade, I learned how to fake walking into a door. You know, you hit it with your hand and snap your head back. The girls loved it.

I was a strange kid in that, while most kids hate school and want to turn 18 or 21, I loved high school.

Anyone can memorize facts and figures. The real way to learn anything is to go out and experience it. Let your curiosity lead you.

You know you can be having a bad day and someone will walk by and say: 'Hey, I love you, Will.' That really cheers you up. That's a really lovely thing.

I think a lot of the instincts you have doing comedy are really the same for doing drama, in that it's essentially about listening. The way I approach comedy, is you have to commit to everything as if it's a dramatic role, meaning you play it straight.

I've always wanted to sail around the world in a handmade boat, and I built a boat.

When I was ten, I wrote an essay on what I would be when I grew up and said I would be a professional soccer player and a comedian in off season.

One of my first memories of being a kid was, 'I want to have a real job when I grow up.' And to me that meant you wear a suit and a hat and carry a briefcase and go to your job.

I've had moments in my life when I've thought if I wasn't acting, if I wasn't doing what I do and I had a career in the private sector and I didn't have a family, that I do have some tendencies where I could really kind of have a monastic existence and be okay with it.

My kind of wanting to be funny didn't come from need, necessarily. The closest I can analyze it is that it was an easy way to make friends, I found out. It was just a great kind of social tool.

New York is a fun town to go out in. During my twenties and into my thirties I had a good time partying, yes. But nothing where I woke up and I thought that I had a problem.

I look good. I mean, really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food.

You have to listen a lot, and you have to be open and ready to adjust to anything. It kind of provides a framework that you use all the time. You never really shut off that part of your brain when you're doing something. It's invaluable to have.

Black, white, yellow, brown - we wanted somebody who would do right by us. And I think because Obama was that person, whether he was black or white, he was chosen

I left home to go to college, and then I moved back home. I moved back for three years from 21 to 24.

There's always going to be someone as funny as you or funnier.

Molly Shannon and I used to always talk about that we really felt strongly that we were comedic actors, that we weren't comedians. You just played things real and the comedy came out of the context.

If you ain't first, you're last!

I'm a selective pack rat. There's some things I have no problem getting rid of and others I hold onto dearly.

I have the physique a lot of people dream about having. It's my obligation to share it with the world.

I've always loved watching the news on TV. As a kid, I loved watching Walter Cronkite, for some reason.

Often times I'm confronted with a quote that I don't remember saying. So, on one hand it's very flattering, it is just so surreal.

I want to thank Jesus, and by Jesus I mean Jesus Hernandez, my bodyguard

I grew up in an entertainment family, and so I saw how susceptible you are to the ups and downs of this business.

Facebook: What's on your mind? ..Twitter: What's happening? Myspace: Where did everybody go?

I've got no dark secrets, I wasn't beaten up, my parents were kind to me and there was a low crime rate where we lived. Maybe that's where the comedy comes from, as some sort of reaction to the safe, boring suburbs.

Anyone who does anything creative is always gonna want to change.

I'd love to become like Bill Murray, who was so funny on 'Saturday Night Live' and has gone on to do some of the landmark comedies people like. And then to add this whole other phase to his career with 'Lost in Translation' and 'Rushmore.' I always felt to be able to have something similar to that would be great.

Every time I do a partnership with the corporation, it's usually - I mean, it is - reflective of me and they really want who I am. They want what I've established for my brand and the respect and quality that I've established.

My wife and I always enjoy going for a jog

I would think beer and football go hand in hand.

I was one of the richest rappers in 2008. But it was definitely a strange feeling.

The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, everyone still wants the brooding, dangerous guy you shouldn't have.

I live by 'Earnin' and burnin'.' Meaning, I like to make money and spend it before I even have it. That's the way I live my life.

I'm able to come and do a new sound and grow even more and make greater songs because my song-making abilities have grown.

You tend to get reluctant to talk about anything until the day before filming.

I don't know about living on an automatic pilot, but I've had times where I've decided to just test myself and my mettle, and for no good reason other than it's what life is. Even before I was acting, I had, like, one day in high school I decided to just show them my pajamas, just for no good reason.

On the set of an independent film you can tell that nobody is doing it for the money. Everyone is there because they love the script. A smaller budget sort of unifies everyone; it's a real team effort and that's amazing. But these opportunities just don't present themselves that often for me, so basically any chance I get to do something different I jump on it.

A lot of people have gotten into comedy because of certain influences in their lives or events that were painful, and I really have wracked my brain to figure it out. I pretty much have had a normal childhood. Maybe it was too normal.

I laugh like a fool when I watch a movie that I've done several years down the road when it's on cable, i'll just watch and sadly laugh along.

What about Santa's cookies? I suppose 'parents' eat those, too?

I'm a really good swimmer.

I was listening to Jimi Hendrix and Pink Floyd, because that was new music for me. I really hadn't been up on them. I mean, I'd heard of them, but I wasn't up on their music. And I kept listening to Radiohead, and I was like, Man, I want to make hip-hop that feels like Radiohead. I want to make hip-hop that can use guitars and soul and jazz and just fuse it all together.

James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was.

It's nice to be in a place where I can be a little more selective, and to be sought out for ideas that I have.

It'd be great to be in a position where you can make choices regardless of money. My tastes are always gonna lead me to go for the amazing project where I'm being paid in Turkish cantaloupes.

There are a lot of really funny guys who are very natural in what they do: Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Seth Rogen.

I think anyone who has, you know, is in any sort of artistic pursuit, kind of goes up and down with the way they feel about their work. And I, for the most part, am pretty happy person. But, yeah. I go through definite periods of time where I'm not funny. I'm not good. I'm - I don't feel original.

You know, when I'm looking at these '08 yachts that are for sale, I think "I could have just walked in with a briefcase of cash and put it on the table and walked out with a yacht."

Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life

I would love to work with Bill Murray. I've always been such a big fan. I think he's obviously a great comedic actor but a really interesting actor.

I'm a sex addict. It's my cross to bear. It's a real disease with doctors and medicine and everything!

Once a person has a child, the first question everyone asks is: "Are you going to have more children?" But it basically means: "Are you going to have more sex with your wife in the hopes of having children?

I'm really an artist of feeling. I like creating things when it feels right.

I've always associated consciousness with artists like Bob Marley or Joni Mitchell or Bob Dylan. You know, artists that really talked about what was going on in the world and really artists that are timeless.

I would love to play Simon Cowell in a movie - heck, I would love it. It would be my dream role.

Now we have food networks and everything. CNN was the beginning of all of that.

I guess destiny is not the path given to us but the path we choose for ourselves.

I'm a panicked karaoke participant because I am always searching for a song in the moment. I don't have my go to song. I will be driving along and I will be like, "That should be my karaoke song!" and then I forget what song it is.

There's a benefit to losing, you get to learn from your mistakes.

A fashion plate, a rock star in his own mind, Megamind is more showman than deadly menace.

I think 'SNL' was such a unique thing because it was material you created and you're very comfortable with it, even though the setting was pressure-packed.

I think people don't understand that comedy is an outlet for me. Comedy allows me to get outside of myself, and exercise this thing that is still kind of scary to me.

Everyone I know who skis is dead.

You still have that competitive thing where you want to try to make hits. That won't go away, unless the mayor of show business says my time's up.

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet.

I'm just a big, hairy, American winning machine!

No matter how much you screw up your life, you can fix it.

A lot of the times you read something and you don't realize that you are going to have to do the things that you read.

I love playing the macho guy who looks like an idiot.

I don't really think in absolutes.

I've never had a yard sale, ever, in my life. I don't know if I ever thought about stuff I would get rid of.

It would be great to be able to follow in the footsteps of Bill Murray. I really respect his ability as a comedian, obviously, but even more so as an actor.

If you are going to wrestle a bear, try to stay away from all fish oil products, you know. I mean it's tough for me, because I love to rub myself with salmon oil every day - it's a great conditioner for the hair, skin.

I did plenty of jobs that I hated. I was a bank teller and terrible at it. I parked cars, a valet. I answered phones. I somehow avoided being a waiter. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep the order straight. I'm not much of a multi-tasker.

I'm the minority in my house sometimes. My wife is Swedish, and we go to Sweden and everyone is rattling off in Swedish. It's like, 'OK, I can just read a book.'

I had never supported a political figure - and I went out and supported Obama.

But for fatherhood advice, try to look your child in the eye ... Get to know their name; that becomes important when you want something. And remember to feed them. That's about all you need.

I might be more fluent in Swedish than I am in Spanish. My wife speaks it to our kids, and they're fluent so I hear it all the time, so I've got that under my belt.

When a dramatic actor does a funny film, people are like, 'Wonderful! I didn't know he was funny!' But when it flips, people can get really thrown by it.

I'm a cotton-headed ninny muggins.

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear!

It's tough for me to get rid of clothes. I grew up in a household with a limited budget and we really had to make our nice clothes last, and so now I'll get free pairs of shoes and this, that and the other and I'll be like, 'Oh great!'; even though it stresses me out that I don't have enough room to put them, I can't throw them away.

I think my new iPhone 5S is broken. I pressed the home button and I'm still at work

Well, I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.

Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

I still regret that I never played soccer in high school. I chose basketball over soccer.

In one of my songs, in the song on the "Why?" remix that I did with Jadakiss in 2004, I said, "Why is Bush actin' like they tryin' to get Osama? Why don't we impeach him and elect Obama?" This is in 2004 on the "Why?" remix and I said that because I really had belief that Obama was the right person to be president

By the time I was ready for college, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I think I secretly wanted a show business career, but I was suppressing it.

When you're doing an out-and-out comedy, the notion of preparing for a character - I hope I don't reveal too much of myself here - but, uh, no, I'm not doing anything.

Handling a painful situation in a comedic way is truly the funniest. That is extremely real to me and not kind of clownish. There is a thin line though; you can't overdo it.

I'm in a glass case of emotion

When I was a kid, 'Land of the Lost' was my favorite show, just because it was - in the landscape of Saturday morning cartoons - it was so unique. It was a live-action show and kids were in it, these creatures, these Sleestaks and dinosaurs. Every week was a different adventure. I couldn't wait. I loved it so much.

You want every movie to be a hit. But every painting isn't a masterpiece.

What's the point of being bad when there's nothing good to stop you?

I've always been noted for being original and doing different thing. So for me to hop on the train that's going on would be - shoot, if I wanted to hop on the train, I might as well have hopped on gangsta rap back when it was popular and tried to do that.

I think whatever an artist does, it just has to be quality and good. I think the way Kanye's doing what he's doing with the Auto-Tune is actually creative because he just writes good melodies. He just writes good songs. He's just gifted.

I guess ultimately a lot of comedians just wanna be taken seriously.

In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have one? Then it's probably you.