Shaquille O'Neal Quotes

When I was young I was on punishment a lot and I used to watch a lot of TV, and I asked myself a question: 'How come people like Mike? How come they like Magic? How come they like Bird? How come they don't like the big guys?' So I just throw a little bit of what they were doing. You smile, you act crazy and silly. And I think people like me because I'm different. I've always been a class clown type of guy. It comes natural.

If you don't stick to simplicity, you'll die a horrible death.

I'm one year older, one year sexier - one more, baby. For me, it's all about the bigger picture. We want to win the whole thing. We've got to beat whoever is in our way.

Enunciation, diction, all that stuff. None of that is in my personality.

And if the big dog ain't me, then the house won't get guarded period.

If you want Shaq to be Shaq, you've got to remember that Shaq is known for wreaking havoc offensively - 26,000-plus points without consistently making free throws. Don't have me doing something I'm not used to doing. I ain't used to being a pick-setter. Let me badda-bing, badda-bang.

Get away from my house. What do you want?

Now I see why everybody who plays for him doesn't like him.

The only demise of Shaquille O'Neal will be his age.

In this millennium that we live in, the 'Hack-a-Shaq'has proven not to work. It might work a couple games every now and then, but when it comes to the playoffs or a championship series, it doesn't work - not at all.

Sometimes I feel like the Tom Hanks character in Big. But my life is not a movie. I never have to go back to Coney Island to find the fortune-teller machine so I have to grow up again.

I'm not going to try to go out there and outdo him. I don't have to try to outdo him, I'm Shaq.

That was a foul, young lady. You know that was a foul. Don't ask dumb questions.

It's pretty much the same; it's just that Phil was very weird with his system. This is more of the traditional system.

A lot of coaches play percentages when it comes to me, but that's just a way of saying that you can't stop me.

Why don't you bring your face up here and let me punch it? Then you can tell me (if I'm stronger).

That dude scored 8 points in the last 19 seconds, pulled out a miracle win at the Garden. He made me choke on a chicken bone that day. I'm serious.

It's just one more win. I don't give a [bleep] how we do it, as long as we get it done. Did I say [bleep]? I'm sorry.

Doesn't matter. If I would've had a beer before the game, I would've been drunk. So I don't believe in 'if.'

The NBA's been around how long? A hundred years? Fifty years? So to change it now, whoever that person is needs his college degree revoked ... Whoever did that needs to be fired. It was terrible, a terrible decision. Awful. I might get fined for saying that, but so what?

If you've got a Corvette that runs into a brick wall, you know what's going to happen. He's a Corvette. I'm a brick wall.

Because I'm so big, you have to look at me. I think of myself as a monument. But sometimes I like to feel small.

My secret? See it, and stay focused on it.

I said what I felt, and people try to control people. But you can never control me. I'm a 31-year-old juvenile delinquent. Nobody can control me.

My sons love LeBron more than they love me. I'm just a little jealous about it.

I put a lot into it, and when I am done playing, I plan on going undercover and then being the sheriff or chief of police somewhere, either Miami or Orlando, I don't know yet.

I'm not worried about facing the Sacramento Queens. Write it down. Take a picture. I'm not going to talk about this all year. When I get back, there's going to be trouble.

I got into foul trouble, so I really kind of had to play on egg shells from there on out.

There's no answer for my offense, just like the polythagorean theorem.

I told Leonard, in the immortal words of Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 2, 'I'm going on vacation. If I tell you where I'm going, then it won't be a vacation.'

It is not about how much money you make. The question is are you educated enough to KEEP it.

I'm a weird big guy. Doing rapping, doing movies. Do a lot of stuff. But always do things the right way.

Since I suffered the injury on company time, why shouldn't I also be able to get surgery and do recovery on company time?

Nobody's going to tell me how to be different, so stop asking me. Stop asking me what two-plus-two is. Everybody knows two-plus-two is five.

Once you learn how to do something, you don't lose it. Unless you die.

No one was there. Some teammates, huh? I guess they didn't want to get their lip busted like the gentleman I busted. Sorry for that sir.

Some of my favorite songs
and I don't know if this is the right terminology
are white-boy classics.

Nietzsche was so intelligent and advanced. And that's how I am. I'm the black, basketball-playing Nietzsche.

How did Mike Bibby get on the team? Any Cub Scout with Boy Scouts can do Boy Scoutish things. When Bibby was in the Cub Scouts, he was a Cub Scout. When he was with Vancouver, nobody heard about him. Now that he's with Sacramento ... he's on the team. I ain't going.

I came here with the perfect chemist's perception. The formula they had was perfect and any added ingredient could make it go bad or worse.

I'm just getting better and better. It's just like a bunch of worker bees protecting the king bee, because I'm not a queen bee. I'm a king bee.

I'm still the Dun Dada of all big men.

I would like to be referred to as 'The Big Aristotle'.

There was not too much to do as a kid when we arrived in Germany. Playing basketball and listening to music gave me something to do.

I'm George Bush. I'm the president.

Przybilla can't guard me when I'm 27, 37 or 47.

As a basketball fan, I get sick and tired of people talking about numbers. To me, the world is getting too materialistic.

You always have to take care of the sisters first, so my dad would buy Barbies and stuff and I wouldn't get anything. So I don't want any other kid to feel like that.

Coach (Pat) Riley told us on June 8 we'd win the title on June 20.

It feels good. It's not bad for somebody who can't shoot.

I really get motivated when I have doubters.

Tell them it was a foul.

I think Bush came back because Colin Powell was there. Hey, I'm the brigadier general, baby.

I look forward to making Miami a media mecca.

Look up the word role in the dictionary and you'll see it means playing a part. That's why I call myself a real model.

I'm always ready for a change. I'm Irish. I'm a leprechaun.

I'm short and to the point.

The East is going to be pretty easy for me. The Great Chest of the West becomes the Great Beast of the East.

He's the president. I'm the general. Unless I want to get impeached, I got to do what he says.

As a general, and as a leader of this team, whatever I've got to do get my guys going I'll do it every time. If I have to be the bad guy sometime, I'll guess I'll take that. That's what a leader and a general and a chief of police does. Everybody is not going to like it, but I don't care if they like or not. I'm Bush, so if they don't like it resign.

We know what we have to do. I know I have to get up in the morning, put my underwear on first and then put my pants on first. I don't need people to tell me that.

I'm going to be on a mission. I've handled my personal vendettas and handled them well. Every challenge you put in front of me, I've handled it, dismantled it - ate them, dropped them off in the bathroom and flushed them away.

I ate too many Frosted Flakes. I don't remember what I said last night.

I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

I'll take 14 out of 15 any day of the week, any week of the month, any month of the year, any year of the century. I don't know what comes after century.

I don't get nervous in any situation. There's no such thing as nerves when you're playing games.

Afterwards I said Chris Webber was going to leave as a free agent and Sacramento would go back to expansionism.

Talk to the guys that ain't doing nothing, don't talk to me. I just want eight guys out there with me who want to play.

I'm playing like Eric Dampier.

If I don't get five [titles], I won't be happy with myself as a basketball player. I don't know how you guys will feel about me.

I've been the type of person [and] the type of athlete, I don't like to be given anything. I like to earn.

This is my disguise, but it doesn't work.

I'm not a young jitterbug anymore. When I was a young jitterbug, I never won. I didn't start winning until I got older. The older I get, the wiser I get. You just have to play it smart.

Shaquille O'Neal has always been one to speak the truth.

Word has it, they think I'm an old man, and they're not gonna double me. My message is that I'm the baddest for my age bracketest. What I mean by age bracketest is that I came in at 20, I was the baddest 20, and I'm the baddest at 35.

But you can not compare Yao's stats to mine. You just can't compare it and I am playing everyone one-on-one.

I don't get tired. I get beat up. You keep chopping on a tree, you need to give the tree some rest so the chlorophyll will fill back up and the tree gets its energy back.

Kobe always tried to be a hero. But you know, as the saying goes, a hero ain't nothing but a sandwich.

I want to go to police academy, I want to actually go out and make a couple of arrests. I want to go undercover.

If they want to play football, we can play football.

Do we play Chicago again? I going to hit Othella Harrington right in the mouth. If he didn't have his clumsy ass on the floor, I wouldn't have fell. How he got on the ground, I don't know. He's clumsy. Quote me on that. I'm going to get him.

I'll just have to get it against my favorite team.

When you're in championships, it's never about what you do. It's always about what other people do.

I'm still here. I'm a force to be reckoned with ... you have to come take my spot, and not through Twitter and not through the media, come take my spot. I'm ready to go. As big men in the league, there are two who have done something special during this millennium. I'm one and Tim Duncan is the other. Anyone else has to come upstairs and see the Shogun. I'm still the Shogun.

A lot of times when I buy a lot of toys, I get a little jealous and keep one or two for myself. So I've got a couple of drones. I've got a couple of remote-control cars. I like to have fun

This summer is going to be a different summer for a lot of people. Everyone is going to take care of their own business and everyone is going to do what's best for them, including me.

Keep in mind, I'm not allowed to be tough. I'm tamed.

I know how to turn the bad into good always.

If I get that thing down there in that area, that's 67% lifetime. If you don't believe me, Google it. I'm on the Internet.

That is why one day I said my game will be like the Pythagorean Theorem - hard to figure out. A lot of people really don't know the Pythagorean Theory. They don't make them like me anymore. They don't want to make them like that anymore.

I have orders not to come back until I'm a thousand percent.

I've met a lot of artists who wanted to paint me. LeRoy Neiman was one. He did it from a photograph. He made 20,000 copies, and we sold them all.

I love race car drivers, I love gymnastics, I love UFC, I love police officers, I love firefighters. I just try to give them the same enjoyment they give me.

I just want to keep people entertained.

How can Benedict Arnold be reliable in what he says?

Once the Hack-a-Shaq works once, you know I'm going to see it again. The only thing worse for basketball than that defense is the Lack-a-Shaq offense, where I have to go to the bench because of foul trouble. There is no fun in that.

It means I don't have to charter that big jet for the family.

I love the Miami atmosphere.

Pluto is not a planet, but I am.

I think the new ball is terrible. It's the worst decision some expert, whoever did it, made. It's terrible. It's like touching an exotic dancer and then going and touching a plastic blow-up doll. You know, it feels different.