Short Funny Cousin Quote Quotes

Every big dream begins with a little nap. ~ Yohann Dafeu

My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

My cousin had a baby and I was watching her breastfeed for a couple of bucks, and I'll tell you ladies: it's amazing. ~ Dave Attell

My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

I had heard before that there were rumors I was gay. It's funny. My cousin gets his hair cut at this place, and one of the guys there told him that Scott Wolf was gay. He didn't realize that he was my cousin. ~ Scott Wolf

I find Anders very funny and funny lasts forever." Samantha ~ Angela Nicoara

being funny is actually all about thinking "what if ?" in a creative way. ~ Shashankbisht

She probably thinks the spiritual path is a new style of pavers available at Bunnings. ~ Pj Mayhem

I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny. ~ Martin Short

When I die, I want it to say 'Short and Funny' on my tombstone. ~ John Requa

Again the Cousin's whistle! Go, my Love. ~ Robert Browning

To cut a long story short, I'm a writer. ~ Carla H. Krueger

I make love like farm equipment - not to farm equipment. There is a difference, though my cousin can't tell it. ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo

And," added Mikey. "she's my sister."
The others looked at him for a moment, and broke out laughing.
"Yeah, yeah," Squirrel scoffed, "and the McGill is my cousin."
Now Allie burst out laughing, which made Mikey more annoyed.
"If the McGill was your cousin," Mikey said, "I can guarantee he'd disown you. ~ Neal Shusterman

My aunt put my cousins into a children's modelling agency, then my mum did it with us. Me and my sister got a few TV adverts, which was good pocket money. A director saw photos of me and asked me to do a short film. ~ Sullivan Stapleton

I don't think I was anything short of ecstatic when I found out 'It's Kind of a Funny Story' would be premiering in Toronto. ~ Keir Gilchrist

Your main contribution is spray painting your nickname on other people's things. And my cousin, who's a 'gangster', he's like, 'No, Tash, you don't understand; you throw a fat piece up there, that piece is yours.' I'm like, 'No one thinks you own Costco.' ~ Natasha Leggero

Life's too short. Start with Dessert! ~ Barbra Streisand

I have a cousin called Flirta D who was big in the grime world, which made me really cool at school. 'Flirta D's your cousin?' 'Yeah, buddy.' 'He must be a millionaire!' ~ Sampha

Most redoubted lord and right sovereign cousin, may the Almighty Lord have you in his keeping. ~ Owen Glendower

Life is short, so enjoy it to the fullest. ~ John Walters

I'm fascinated by idiots... Here's looking at you, kid! ~ Fakeer Ishavardas

Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay. ~ Dov Davidoff

I started with ballet and then my cousin Sarah introduced me to her tap teachers. ~ Adam Garcia

Live like a PRINCE and die like a WARRIOR. ~ Sagar Ugale

My sisters call him Slinky Simon.'
Alec chuckled.
'It's only funny if he's not your cousin.'
'It's funny because it's true. ~ Julia Quinn

Dead people are just great. Meet me when you are. ~ Fakeer Ishavardas

Exaggeration is the kissing cousin of both truth and lie. ~ Khang Kijarro Nguyen

Your booty call embargo will remain intact. ~ Cristin Harber

You're gorgeous. You're sexy. You're … asking me to cut that dress off you? I'm praying for strength. ~ Cristin Harber

I bumped into my cousin after she'd shaved her hair very short, and she looked incredible. She seemed so effortless and cool, and I wanted that. And, I've had it like that ever since. ~ Laura Mvula

I m not funny, really m not !!! I just tell people the truth, and then they start laughing and say haha you are funny...but seriously m not!!! ~ Shashankbisht

The Empress is legitimate, my cousin is Republican, Morny is Orleanist, I am a socialist; the only Bonapartist is Persigny, and he is mad. ~ Napoleon III

Time is long but life is short. ~ Stevie Wonder

My cousin Francis and I are in perfect accord - he wants Milan, and so do I. ~ Charles V

My cousin Simon Bor, the champion of Los Angeles, convinced me to concentrate on running. ~ Martin Lel

Falling in love and falling to your death feel about the same, I thought. And I almost laughed. ~ Shannon Hale

I particularly like Twitter, because it's short and can be very funny and informative. It's a little bit like having your own radio program. ~ Margaret Atwood

A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100,000 short. ~ Mickey Rooney

My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, "Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia?" Shelia had died at birth. ~ Joan Rivers

My little cousin Jimmy told me in jail he was a drag queen. ~ Master P

In everything the ends well defined are the secret of durable success. ~ Victor Cousin

Being effective at social media, whether for business or personal use, means capturing people who have short attention spans. They're only a click away from a picture of a funny cat, so you have to make your thing more compelling than that cat. And that can be a high bar. ~ Alexis Ohanian

When we were younger, my cousins used to jump in front of cars with masks on and start dancing really funny or making funny moves and the people in the cars would start laughing. ~ Leo Santa Cruz

You were born to win. ~ Troy Clark

In addition to my cousin, there were 30 or 40 guys I grew up with who became firefighters as well. So, I've been around firefighters all my life. ~ Denis Leary

Part of my soul goes into each quote I write. A book of my quotes can be yours for just $19.99. ~ Ryan Lilly

Failure starts a future success, if you become better. ~ Troy Clark

He was a fat little man with short arms, short legs, a short neck, short nose, short everything in fact. ~ Guy De Maupassant

Labor is a man crowning glory."
"Not this man's."
"I quote Marx"
I raised my hands. The pickaxe handle had been rough.
"I quote blisters. ~ John Fowles

I'd say," the Ranger answered after a few seconds' deliberation, "that he'll be heading south now that he has the chance. Back into Araluen."
"How do you know that?" Horace asked. He was always impressed at the two Rangers' ability to read a situation and come up with the correct answer to a problem. Sometimes, he thought, they almost seemed to have divine guidance.
"I'm guessing," Halt told him. ~ John Flanagan

What would you do?"
"Is this one of those morality questions? Cause I got Unsatisfactory on my last few official psych evals when I answered the so-called morality questions. ~ S.E. Jakes

Believe you me, I am all for you; and wish you well - for you to go to hell. ~ Fakeer Ishavardas

Most people are scumbags. Accept it. Let go. Chill out, douchebags. ~ Fakeer Ishavardas

Cousin, the days of gods and heroes are over."
"Not to me. Not to them. ~ Steven Pressfield

I am very scared of wasps; my cousin was stung in the eye once. ~ Missy Elliott

Amelia, do meet my cousin.
Your cousin?
Indeed. He might be the duke.
Then who are you?
Excellent question. ~ Julia Quinn

My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual, which makes it kind of hard for him to come out of the closet. ~ Bill Kelly

Pride is a great energizer for me. --Titus Ray, Chapter 1. ~ Luana Ehrlich

Good man and bad man with money goes a long ways." ~ Amunhotep El Bey ~ Amunhotep El Bey

Use the right word, not its second cousin. ~ Mark Twain

All truly historical peoples have an idea they must realize, and when they have sufficiently exploited it at home, they export it, in a certain way, by war; they make it tour the world. ~ Victor Cousin

[An example of misattribution:]

If you don't know the source of a quote,
you can always make it sound better by attributing it to me.

- Mark Twain ~ Jakub Marian

My cousin Elroy spent seven years as an IBM taper staring at THINK signs on the walls before he finally got a good idea: He quit. ~ Edward Abbey

My arms are too short to box with God. ~ Johnny Cash

What is philosophy? It is something that lightens up, that makes bright. ~ Victor Cousin

While I respect my cousin Annette Sykes' commitment in engaging in the political process, I do not endorse or support any political party. ~ Cliff Curtis

Plus, I can't look at him the same since I ran into Mrs. Marino at our family reunion. It's not comforting to learn you've made out with your cousin."
"Third cousin once removed," I argued. "It's hardly incest."
"Life is like a box of chocolates, Lisa," Katie noted around a half-chewed carrot stick. "You never know what you're going to get."
Lisa narrowed her eyes, confused. "Did she just quote Forrest Gump at me?"
"It's Matt's fault," I said. "She lost a bet and now anytime his name gets mentioned, she has sixty seconds to drop a relevant movie quote."
"That's insane."
"Yup," Katie piped in, "insanity tuns in my family. Its practically gallops."
"Classic." I high-fived her. ~ Cecily White

Never we sleep, a thug doesn't rest,
Cause a wise man said: it was a cousin of death. ~ Big Pun

I consider myself a persuasive person. With the ability to persuade comes a certain level of power. ~ Ertharin Cousin

Life is short, and it is here to be lived. ~ Kate Winslet

The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows. ~ P.G. Wodehouse

Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Cousin‟s Wife.
Moses must have forgotten to write that one down ~ Julia Quinn

If you want success, then be your own success story. ~ Steven Cuoco

The beautiful cannot be the way to what is useful, or to what is good, or to what is holy; it leads only to itself. ~ Victor Cousin

My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee - the natural enemy of a tightrope walker. ~ Dan Rather

Do you have a brother or cousin in Ivory Coast, because I don't have the money to bring you to Porto. ~ Jose Mourinho

I actually didn't have a quincenera, but I did get to take part in one for my cousin. I've just never really been into parties. ~ Cierra Ramirez

was an eighth cousin of Churchill, and a sixth cousin, once removed, of FDR - and three of World War II's great leaders were thus linked by American intermarriages. ~ William Manchester

In this week I see such a picture of life, hard and joyful pressed up together and sleeping in the same bed. They come knit together. The lines of pain run through the joy and remind us to go all in, because life is short. The joy edges the pain and gives us a reason to rise. ~ Anna White

One of my strengths is my ability to talk and communicate with people. ~ Ertharin Cousin

A cousin of mine who was a casualty surgeon in Manhattan tells me that he and his colleagues had a one-word nickname for bikers: Donors. Rather chilling. ~ Stephen Fry

Are you in a suit?' I managed at last, my voice choking up. 'You didn't have to dress up for me.'
'Quiet, Sage,' he said. 'I'll make the hilarious one-liners during this daring rescue. ~ Richelle Mead

Someone told me sleep was the cousin of death and followin' the dollar finds nothin' but stress. ~ Mac Miller

Play and be happy. ~ Lailah Gifty Akita

Appearances are not held to be a clue to the truth,' said his cousin. 'But we seem to have no other. ~ Ivy Compton-Burnett

I always say that photography's closest cousin is poetry because of the way it sparks your imagination and leaves gaps for the viewer to fill in. ~ Alec Soth

I suppose I could get a job to have something to do, but working when I don't have to work would be like pulling a straight and healthy tooth
pointless and extremely painful.
David Palmer ~ Stephen Reid Andrews

One day I was in the studio with my cousin. My dad was on tour at the time, so just for fun I recorded some stuff with my cousin. We were just playing around. After my dad got back, one day he played what we recorded. He heard my part and was like, "Who is that?" My cousin was like, "Uh, that's your son!" So he was like, "That's hot. You wanna make a record?" ~ Lil' Romeo

Don't ever take a seven-year-old with you to a campaign dinner - they will embarrass you no end. ~ Ertharin Cousin

My cousin Malcolm Lee is also a filmmaker. ~ Spike Lee

Simplicity is the first cousin of contentment. ~ John Stott

Astrology is a cousin of racism. ~ Penn Jillette

The universal and absolute law is that natural justice which cannot be written down, but which appeals to the hearts of all. ~ Victor Cousin

Yes, you can lose somebody overnight, yes, your whole life can be turned upside down. Life is short. It can come and go like a feather in the wind. ~ Shania Twain

Fear not, dear cousin. In madness there is great power ~ Pen Densham

Everybody! This is my cousin right here, and he just dethroned God's gift to Women - Griffin ~ S.C. Stephens

Many states have laws against cousin marriage, which I think are ridiculous - people should be allowed to make that choice. ~ Amber Heard

I will take all my rights! Can you deliver them to my house? ~ Ljupka Cvetanova

The solitude and peace of mind are serving me quite well, not the least of which is due to the excellent and truly enjoyable relationship with my cousin; its stability will be guaranteed by the avoidance of marriage. ~ Albert Einstein