Martin Short Quotes

No one is any one thing.

I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny.

All these things that enter your head are assignments. You write them up and then throw them out there and if someone wants to do it, your assignment is done.

The thing you can always rely on, your core person, comes from your family's attention and love.

This lesson is, I suppose, a major reason I wrote this book: because along the way I've picked up the wisdom that bad things happen, and yet the sun still comes up the next day, and it's up to you to carry on living your life and keeping your setbacks in perspective. You also have to understand that on some level, these horrible and sad things happen to everyone; the mark of a man is not just how he survives it all but also what wisdom he's gained from the experience.

Da problem with today's songwriters is, dey're just ripping off what I did years ago. "Send In da Clowns"? I wrote da same tune back in 1910 under the title "Send Up Some Towels.

Henry, I know it seems unimaginable, but you are being empowered tonight," I told him. "You are being given something that is horrible, but is also a life lesson. This will make you stronger. This will make you more determined. You'll be in your office somewhere, someday, and some pompous asshole will say something to you. And you'll supposedly be upset, and you'll supposedly be fearful of your boss's reaction. But then you'll think, 'This is gravy. This is fine. I couldn't care less about this prick. I'm not upset now. I was upset the night my mother died.

An actor can spew out thoughts, but they're not all gold.

[Ed Grimley] lives in a retirement home in New Jersey. It's called the Retirement Home in New Jersey for Characters Who Were Interesting in the '80s for About an Hour. He's there with the Whiners, Gumby and Jon Lovitz's 'That's the ticket' guy.

Whether arrogantly or what, I view myself simply as an actor.

I pretend I'm one of the royal family when I'm in a hotel and that the hotel belongs to me - it is a palace.

Someone once asked me what was the weirdest question I was ever asked. And I was stymied.

You try to figure out things to keep yourself interested. It's very easy to get lulled.

I decided that, as a stand-up, I'd position myself as a cerebral, observational comic, making references to Camus and Kierkegaard. I wasn't so much concerned with getting laughs as I was with seeing audience members turn to each other at any given moment and say, "Exactly!

There was an era when people would turn on their radio and hear a radio drama. Now, you could be as scared by that as seeing it filmed. In those days, people used to sit by the fire and imagine what they were hearing. Everything is its own art form.

Being the youngest of five, you're adored, you're fueled with confidence.

We had season tickets to the Hamilton Tiger-Cats of the Canadian Football League, and, as only we Canadians can say, we had prime seats right on the fifty-five-yard line. And

I know if I were to drop dead now, people would probably write nice things in the obit.

It's better to love a short ...

I've done lots of improv things but not a whole movie.

One of my great influences was Don Knotts as Barney Fife.

You know, speaking from experience, I can tell you that there's no aphrodisiac more potent than Watergate-themed cabaret music.

People do think I'm Jewish. But we're Irish Catholic. My father had a brogue.

If you have wonderful moments, don't second-guess them, just enjoy them.

I have a kind of objective luxury about my career.

I'm an actor who loves doing comedy.

I still do live concerts all over the country - about four a month - with singing and characters and improv. It keeps me limber. I'll never lose that. And comedy is still the bread and butter.

A musical is only as good as its director. The same can also be said for the CIA.

All you're trying to do in an improvisation is get as much material as possible for the editing room.

Ill give you an idea of how Jewish Mel Brooks is: Thats a nose job.

My mother was the concert master of the symphony. Absurdity and eccentricity were not criticized.

I think loss can fuel how you lead your whole life.

I have sometimes imagined my own death and brought myself to tears.

We arranged to spend the next day, a Sunday, looking at apartments together, followed by a round of tennis, since we both played. Before Nancy left the Pilot that night, I said to her lasciviously - I don't know what possessed me - "Have you ever tried a comedian before?" Which was either very sexy or very creepy, depending on your opinion of me. She just stared at me, betraying no emotion, and said, "I hope you have a racket. I'm pretty good." Our