Golf Quotes

Many shots are spoiled at the last instant by efforts to add a few more yards. ~ Bobby Jones

Golf made me feel like a loser. So I dismissed it. ~ Mariska Hargitay

If I needed advice from my caddie, he'd be hitting the shots and I'd be carrying the bag. ~ Bobby Jones

In the 1940s and 1950s, the grass surface on most miniature golf courses was actually goat hair that had been dyed green. ~ Will Pearson

I challenge myself everywhere, onstage, on the golf course. Hey, isn't that the point of it all? To keep getting better? Otherwise why do it? ~ Hal Linden

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods. ~ Jeff Foxworthy

Then Lee Trevino and Jack Nicklaus come in. I'll caddie for Jack. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

Golf is game of respect and sportsmanship; we have to respect its traditions and its rules. ~ Jack Nicklaus

The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree. ~ Brian Weiss

It is a very positive event, being nervous. It allows you to do great things. ~ Tom Kite

If you hit a hole in one every hole, you wouldn't play golf for very long. ~ Warren Buffett

We all knew the exam we were going to sit this week. ~ Paul McGinley

Golf has probably kept more people sane than psychiatrists have. ~ Harvey Penick

I know, win or lose, I enjoyed the prospect of giving it my all. ~ Arnold Palmer

I don't just want to be the best black player or the best Asian player. I want to be the best golfer ever. ~ Tiger Woods

Forty minutes later, my hatred for field hockey was in full bloom, courtesy of Nikki. Whoever thought it was a good idea to combine Tag with wooden golf clubs and a rodent-size ball should be beaten senseless. ~ K.R. Conway

Everybody teaches a system. I just try to shoot where I'm aiming. I play by sight and feel not by technical thoughts. ~ Fred Couples

I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right. ~ Ben Crenshaw

His months of teaching experience were now a lost age of youth and innocence. He could no longer sit in his office at Fort McNair, look out over the elm trees and the golf course, and encompass the world within "neat, geometric patterns" that fit within equally precise lectures. Policy planning was a very different responsibility, but explaining just how was "like trying to describe the mysteries of love to a person who has never experienced it."

There was, however, an analogy that might help. "I have a largish farm in Pennsylvania."...it had 235 acres, on each of which things were happening. Weekends, in theory, were days of rest. But farms defied theory:

Here a bridge is collapsing. No sooner do you start to repair it than a neighbor comes to complain about a hedge row which you haven't kept up half a mile away on the other side of the farm. At that very moment your daughter arrives to tell you that someone left the gate to the hog pasture open and the hogs are out. On the way to the hog pasture, you discover that the beagle hound is happily liquidating one of the children's pet kittens. In burying the kitten you look up and notice a whole section of the barn roof has been blown off and needs instant repair. Somebody shouts from the bathroom window that the pump has stopped working, and there's no water in the house. At that moment, a truck arrives with five tons of stone for the lane. And as you stand there hopelessly, wondering which of these crises ~ John Lewis Gaddis

Vice President Spiro Agnew can not cheat on his score : because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded. ~ Bob Hope

There's more tension in golf than in boxing because golfers bring it on themselves. It's silly really because it's not as if the golf ball is going to jump up and belt you on the whiskers, is it? ~ Henry Cooper

Perhaps the most serious obstacle impeding the evolution of a land ethic is the fact that our educational and economic system is headed away from, rather than toward, an intense consciousness of land. Your true modern is separated from the land by many middlemen, and by innumerable physical gadgets. He has no vital relation to it; to him it is the space between cities on which crops grow. Turn him loose for a day on the land, and if the spot does not happen to be a golf links or a "scenic" area, he is bored stiff. If crops could be raised by hydroponics instead of farming, it would suit him very well. Synthetic substitutes for wood, leather, wool, and other natural land products suit him better than the originals. In short, land is something he has "outgrown ~ Aldo Leopold

Just trust your instincts. There's an old saying in golf, you've studied the swing many times, and you practice and practice, but when you stand over the ball, you just have to trust your swing. And you trust it. And if you don't trust it, you'll ruin it; your brain will take over. ~ Clint Eastwood

The late American golfing coach and writer, Harvey Penick, held that any who played golf was his friend – in the politer sense of Arcades ambo, I gather. … I myself hold with Honest Izaak that there is – and that I am a member of – a communion of, if not saints, at least anglers and very honest men, some now with God and others of us yet upon the quiet waters. … The man is a mere brute, and no true angler, whose sport is measured only in fish caught and boasted of. For what purpose do we impose on ourselves limits and conventions if not to make sport of a mere mechanical harvest of protein? The true angler can welcome even a low river and a dry year, and learn of it, and be the better for it, in mind and in spirit. So, No: the hatch is not all that it might be, for if it is warm enough and early with it, it is also in a time of drought; and, No: I don't get to the river as often as I should wish. But these things do not make this a poor year: they are an unlooked-for opportunity to delve yet deeper into the secrets of the river, and grow wise. … Rejoice, then, in all seasons, ye fishers. The world the river is; both you and I, And all mankind, are either fish or fry. We must view it with judicious looks, and get wisdom whilst we may. And to all honest anglers, then, I wish, as our master Izaak wished us long ago, 'a rainy evening to read this following Discourse; and that if he be an honest Angler, the east wind may never blow when he goes a-fishing. ~ G.M.W. Wemyss

Golf is like acting in that both require concentration and relaxation at the same time. In acting, you can't push emotion. You have to let it rise from you naturally. Same thing in golf. You have to have a plan and a focus; but then you need to just let it happen and enjoy the smooth movement of the swing. ~ Jane Seymour

Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it's also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members. ~ Bob Hope

Augusta is a very unique golf course. It's a long hitters' course; main reason is because the greens are so severe, and the areas where they put the pin is such a small area. The little plateaus and undulations mean it's incredibly important to be close to that pin so you can be aggressive. ~ Fred Funk

Golf is not a good walk spoiled. It is becoming a good walk prohibited. Show me the common sense in this and I promise I will relent. But there is no common sense at all in the prohibition of walking. ~ Lorne Rubenstein

What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole? ~ Bruce Lansky

I love swimming, tennis, and I am taking up golf. I am not serious about it, I just go to the range and practice. Other than that, I enjoy going to the movies and hanging out with my friends. ~ Mila Kunis

We find things where we look for them. ~ Robert Breault

Golf is not a game of good shots. It's a game of bad shots. ~ Ben Hogan

Bad putting is due more to the effect the green has upon the player than it has upon the action of the ball. ~ Bobby Jones

With the sax, I learned technique well enough so that it feels like part of my body, and I just express myself. That's where I want to get in golf. ~ Kenny G

That putt had more breaks than a government job. ~ Brian Weiss

Media access to us is more regulated than in golf. ~ Pete Sampras

The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think of the damage they would do if they were at the job instead, you can see why golf courses are a wise investment for any municipality. ~ Garrison Keillor

I don't play golf or tennis, I don't ski, I don't snowboard. If you love what you do, you never get enough of it. ~ Frankie Valli

What makes a great golf course is continuity and variety: right-to-left holes, left-to-right holes. ~ Amy Alcott

During my last year of high school, I tried out for the varsity golf team. For about a year, I'd taken golf lessons from an old golf pro. ~ J.D. Vance

Brushing up on your short game at the practice area is fine and good, but taking it with you to the golf course - when your score is really on the line - is another story. ~ Ernie Els

I'd like to design something like a city or a museum. I want to do something hands on rather than just play golf which is the sport of the religious right. ~ Brad Pitt

I do not play golf regularly, but I feel that hitting the moving ball in cricket is tougher than hitting a stationary ball as in golf, which requires more concentration and steady hands. ~ Harbhajan Singh

For a competitive junkie like me, golf is a great solution because it smacks you in the face every time you think you have accomplished something. That to me has taken over a lot of the energy and competitiveness for basketball. ~ Michael Jordan

Actually I was more of a breaker than a thrower - most of them putters. I broke so many of those that I probably became the world's foremost authority on how to putt without a putter. ~ Tommy Bolt

Those trees seem to grow every year ... ~ Peter Alliss

I feel like I'm back visiting an old grandmother. She's crotchety and eccentric, but also elegant, and anyone who doesn't fall in love with her has no imagination. ~ Tony Lema

I don't think golf has ever been any pressure as far as having to succeed. ~ Tiger Woods

Pawn endings are to Chess what putting is to golf ~ Cecil Purdy

My philosophy is to enjoy yourself. Do the things you want to do, like play golf! ~ Phil Daniels

George W. Bush loves golf because it's like the election
low score wins. ~ Jay Leno

The most important shot in golf is the next one. ~ Ben Hogan

In Hollywood, we have some of the richest unemployed people in the world. They have sun tans. Some of them have chauffeurs in Rolls-Royces waiting outside. They have their golf clubs ready in the car. There is no law that says you cannot play golf while being unemployed. ~ Allan Sherman

If it really made sense to "let the club do the work," you'd just say, "Driver, wedge to the green, one-putt," and walk to the next tee. ~ Tom Mulligan

I just hitch up my girdle and let 'er fly. ~ Babe Didrikson Zaharias

If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right. ~ Bob Hope

It's considered good sportsmanship not to pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. ~ Mark Twain

Scottish golf is a more public game. It is more reasonably priced and they play faster. It isn't cart golf. The only reason resorts force you into carts is for the money. They are selling off the soul of the game for a few dollars. ~ Daniel J. King

We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf. ~ Bob Hope

A great deal of unnecessarily bad golf is played in this world. ~ Harry Vardon

I would say that I bought the land under which Trump Tower sits while playing golf. ~ Donald Trump

There is no truth in the idea that the person who hits the most balls will become the best golfer. Golf is a bizarre sport. You can work for years on your game, without making any improvement in your score. ~ Fred Couples

Sometimes, all the interviews, those are the toughest thing for me, but once you really start to do it a lot and start to get used to it, I can find some fun in those parts, too. Because playing golf is the easiest thing for me, and that's something I'm so used to; that's why it was always easy. ~ Inbee Park

This is a tournament. The others are all championships. ~ Jack Nicklaus

Doesn't it show us all that we are silly little boys or fatuous asses to think that we can play golf without making a lot of bad shots? ~ Bobby Jones

Painting is like golf; the fewer strokes I take, the better the picture. ~ John Marin

I do plan to return to golf one day, I just don't know when that day will be. ~ Tiger Woods

I've always tried to play golf with a golf club. I have a hard time driving with my rifle. I mean, 18 is really narrow ... I have no problem with the course, except for the tee shot on 18. ~ Jack Nicklaus

My golf must be improving, I'm not hitting as many spectators. ~ Gerald R. Ford

Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best. ~ Jack Nicklaus

Golf's three ugliest words: still your shot. ~ Dave Marr

Golf inflicts more pain than any other sport. If you're the sort of person whose self-worth is tied up in how you play, golf will cut you to the core of who you are. ~ James E. Loehr

Swimming is fun. It's a lot funner than golf. ~ Michael Phelps

As I watched the seagulls, I thought, That's the road to take; find the absolute rhythm and follow it with absolute trust. ~ Nikos Kazantzakis

I like golf because you can be really terrible at it, and still not look much dorkier than anybody else. ~ Dave Barry

Well, I think that Augusta is not the same golf course that I grew up on. Bobby Jones' philosophy was giving you space off the tee; if you put it in the right side of the fairway, you ended up getting the right angle to the green. ~ Jack Nicklaus

I don't apologize for my clothes. There are a lot of bad dressers in golf, and I don't think I'm one of them. There are a lot of bad dressers in every business. ~ Sergio Garcia

Golf puts a man's character on the anvil and his richest qualities - patience, poise, restraint - to the flame. ~ Billy Casper

I've stated my position, and that is that we do not need a contraption to play the game of golf. I would hope that we'd play under one set of rules, and those rules would include a ban on the long putter hooked to the body in some way, shape or form. ~ Arnold Palmer

Golf has an ambivalent relationship with the environment. On one hand, it's a great preserver of open spaces. Golf doesn't pave the world - it helps to green the world. But the downside is, it uses a lot of fertilizer, pesticides and water. ~ Thomas Friedman

I suppose I'm happy when I know I've given a horse a good ride, no matter where it is. I like playing golf in the summer; I'm happy when I hit a good shot, and I enjoy watching Arsenal playing beautiful football, but overall I can't believe you can be happy when you're not winning. I honestly can't accept that. ~ Tony McCoy

I like to play snooker, golf as well. ~ John Terry

Golf is fluid. It's always changing. It's always evolving. First of all, you never master it. ~ Tiger Woods

Writing is like playing golf - you have to keep working at your swing. ~ Bill Simmons

They say that golf isn't a contact sport. Not the way that we play it ~ Alice Cooper

I was a very bad accountant; I didn't care about money, golf or discovering fraud. After about a year I was sacked; then I went into teacher training. ~ Joanne Harris

What did I want with prestige? The British Open paid the winner $600 in American money. A man would have to be two hundred years old at that rate to retire from golf. ~ Sam Snead

Ladies, we are at a massive disadvantage in the workplace. Your male peers are flirting with their male bosses constantly. The average workplace is like f*cking Bromancing the Stone. That's basically what male bonding is. Flirting. They're flirting with each other playing golf, they're flirting with each other going to the football, they're flirting with each other chatting at the urinals – and, sadly, flirting with each other in after-hours visits to strip clubs and pubs. They are bonding with each other over their biological similarities. If the only way you can bond with them is over your biological differences, you go for it. Feel pressurised to actually f*ck them if you do? Then don't flirt. Find it an easy way to just crack on? Then crack on – and don't blame other women for doing it. ~ Caitlin Moran

We went around and looked and talked to a lot of foundations with those charities and decided upon the Children's Hospital. They had a golf tournament at the time, but it was a small event that didn't raise a significant amount of money. ~ Tom Kite

The recreational golfer who gives it careful thought will conclude that the favorite golf hole in his life played downhill, gradually or severely, and normally was downwind as well. ~ Dan Jenkins

If golfers can run around and crow when they make a birdie, I think it would be just as proper to lie down on the green and cry when you make a bogey. ~ J. C. Snead

I think O.J. protests too much. Not only did he say he didn't carve the holiday turkey, but he was in the back yard practicing his golf swing the whole time. ~ David Letterman

The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things. ~ John Updike

Golf is difficult to get your personality over because you are such a bottle of concentration. ~ Lee Westwood

I've played with some very famous bandits in my time on the celebrity golf circuit. ~ Jasper Carrott

I like to have a sense of accomplishment through work. I'm busy golfing and attending activities, but I think of holding a meeting as playing golf. I think my approach is very good. I don't feel I lose a lot of fun things in life even though I am busy all day. ~ Liang Wengen

You need a fantastic memory in this game to remember the great shots and a very short memory to forget the bad ones. ~ Mac O'Grady

Golf challenges you mentally at any age, and when you become my age, it's a challenge physically to try to make your game work as well as it ever did. That's close to impossible, but that doesn't keep you from trying to hit the ball where you used to hit it and make the putts you used to make all the time. ~ Arnold Palmer

When I was 15, a well off man told me the secret to success was golf. It took me until I became 30 to realize it was the true. Today, you couldn't convince me otherwise. ~ Colleen Ferrary Bader

Mitt Romney looks like a guy modeling briefs on a package of underwear ... He looks like a guy who goes to the restroom when the check comes ... He looks like a guy who would run a seminar on condo flipping ... He looks like he is the closer at a Cadillac dealership ... He looks like that guy on the golf course in the Levitra commercial. ~ David Letterman