Supernatural Season 7 Funny Quotes

I was very unhappy about being killed off on 'Supernatural' in season 7. ~ Jim Beaver

She sighed. Loudly. "Physical appearance is not what is important."
Yeah right. Tell that to any girl who hasn't bothered to put on a presentable shirt or fix her hair because she's only running into the grocery store to get a quart of milk for her grandmother, and who does she see tending the 7-ITEMS-OR-LESS cash register but the guy of her dreams, except she can't even say hi - much less try to develop a meaningful relationship - since she looks like the poster child for the terminally geeky. ~ Vivian Vande Velde

So these are the fresh meat, eh?" Zuko smirked.

I cringed when he said fresh meat. How demeaning.

"Well, I don't know how well all of you can fight. So I'll find out the quickest and simplest way." He raised a scarred arm and pointed it at all of us, "ATTACK THE FRESH MEAT! ~ L. Benitez

1. If from people, it is directed at you: resentment, envy, sarcasm, sarcasm, anger, aggression, hatred, revenge, rage - know that all this is people's sympathy, this does not mean that you are a bad person, just very attractive personality.
2. A love couple who is able to constantly forgive each other is doomed to become the happiest couple in the world.
3. Sleep is a unique museum of our past, present, and future. In which there is a library that holds a unique knowledge.
4. Man does not want people to like him, he wants to tease them.
5. For many people, love with late ignition.
6. The enemy control you with the help of your own anger.
7. We die exactly as much as we cease to be needed by the world.
8. Even in the worst, there is something funny.
9. Laziness as if slows down time and space.
10. Your loved one is your best thought in all your mind, throughout your whole life. ~ Musin Almat Zhumabekovich

...what goes on inside believers is mysterious. So far as it can be guessed at - if for some reason you wanted to guess at it - it appears to be a kind of anxious pretending, a kind of continual, nervous resistance to reality. It looks as if, to a believer, things can never be allowed just to be what they are. They always have to be translated, moralised - given an unnecessary and rather sentimental extra meaning. A sunset can't just be part of the mixed magnificence and cruelty and indifference of the world; it has to be a blessing. A meal has to be a present you're grateful for, even if it came from Tesco and the ingredients cost you £7.38. Sex can't be the spectrum of experiences you get used to as an adult, from occasional earthquake through to mild companionable buzz; it has to be, oh dear oh dear, a special thing that happens when mummies and daddies love each other very much...

Our fingers must be in our ears all the time - lalala, I can't hear you - just to keep out the plain sound of the real world.

The funny thing is that to me it's exactly the other way around. In my experience, it's belief that involves the most uncompromising attention to the nature of things of which you are capable. It's belief which demands that you dispense with illusion after illusion, while contemporary common sense requires continual, fluffy pretending. Pretending that might as well be systematic, it's so thoroughly incentivised by our culture. ~ Francis Spufford

I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's. The clerk said, "ten-four." ~ Steven Wright

Go ahead," Apollo said to Luke. "Tell them what it is, since it's obviously hugging material."
Crimson stained Luke's cheeks. "Legend goes that one of the gates to hell is in Stull Cemetery in Kansas."
"Oh, gods," I muttered, remembering where I'd heard this before. "Wasn't that a season finale on Supernatural?" When the boys nodded, my eyes rolled. "Seriously? Are Sam and Dean going to be there? ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout

Sex when you're married is like going to the 7-Eleven: There's not much variety, but at three in the morning, it's always there. ~ Carol Leifer

Casey, "I know where I want to be in ten years, do you?"
Cappie, "I wanna be with you. ~ Greek Season 1 Episode 7 37 Min

THE UNOFFICIAL AND UNWRITTEN
(but you better follow them or you're going to get beaten twice as hard)
SPOKANE INDIAN RULES OF FISTICUFFS:
1. IF SOMEBODY INSULTS YOU, THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT HIM.
2. IF YOU THINK SOMEBODY IS GOING TO INSULT YOU, THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT HIM.
3. IF YOU THINK SOMEBODY IS THINKING ABOUT INSULTING YOU, THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT HIM.
4. IF SOMEBODY INSULTS ANY OF YOUR FAMILY OR FRIENDS, OR IF YOU THINK THEY'RE GOING TO INSULT YOUR FAMILY OR FRIENDS, OR IF YOU THINK THEY'RE THINKING ABOUT INSULTING YOUR FAMILY OR FRIENDS, THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT HIM.
5. YOU SHOULD NEVER FIGHT A GIRL, UNLESS SHE INSULTS YOU, YOUR FAMILY, OR YOUR FRIENDS, THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT HER.
6. IF SOMEBODY BEATS UP YOUR FATHER OR YOUR MOTHER, THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT THE SON AND/OR DAUGHTER OF THE PERSON WHO BEAT UP YOUR MOTHER OR FATHER.
7. IF YOUR MOTHER OR FATHER BEATS UP SOMEBODY, THEN THAT PERSON'S SON AND/OR DAUGHTER WILL FIGHT YOU.
8. YOU MUST ALWAYS PICK FIGHTS WITH THE SONS AND/OR DAUGHTERS OF ANY INDIANS WHO WORK FOR THE BUREA OF INDIAN AFFAIRS.
9. YOU MUST ALWAYS PICK FIGHTS WITH THE SONS AND/OR DAUGHTERS OF ANY WHITE PEOPLE WHO LIVE ANYWHERE ON THE RESERVATION.
10. IF YOU GET IN A FIGHT WITH SOMEBODY WHO IS SURE TO BEAT YOU UP, THEN YOU MUST THROW THE FIRST PUNCH, BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY PUNCH YOU'LL EVER GET TO THROW.
11. IN ANY FIGHT, THE LOSER IS THE FIRST ONE WHO CRIES. ~ Sherman Alexie

Corn Chowder This recipe is from Marjorie Hanks. She used to make it on the stove, but now that Luanne got her a slow cooker, she makes it this way. ½ cup diced cooked ham (or 6 slices bacon, cooked and crumbled) 2 cups peeled, diced potatoes ½ cup chopped onion 2 ten-ounce packages frozen whole-kernel corn 1 can (16-ounces) cream-style corn 1 Tablespoon brown sugar 1 teaspoon Tabasco sauce 1 teaspoon Season Salt (see Mrs. Knudson's recipe on backmatter) ½ teaspoon black pepper 1 cup chicken broth Spray the crock of a 4-quart slow cooker with Pam. Combine all ingredients in the crock-pot and stir well. Cover and cook on LOW for 6 to 7 hours. Yield: Makes 4 hearty servings. ~ Joanne Fluke

Rules for Living by Olivia Joules
1. Never panic. Stop, breathe, think.
2. No one is thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves, just like you.
3. Never change haircut or color before an important event.
4. Nothing is either as bad or good as it seems.
5. Do as you would be done by, e.g. thou shalt not kill.
6. It is better to buy one expensive thing that you really like than several cheap ones that you only quite like.
7. Hardly anything matters: if you get upset, ask yourself, "Does it really matter?"
8. The key to success lies in how you pick yourself up from failure.
9. Be honest and kind.
10. Only buy clothes that make you feel like doing a small dance.
11. Trust your instincts, not your overactive imagination.
12. When overwhelmed by disaster, check if it's really a disaster by doing the following: (a) think, "Oh, fuck it," (b) look on the bright side, and if that doesn't work, look on the funny side. If neither of the above works then maybe it is a disaster so turn to items 1 and 4.
13. Don't expect the world to be safe or life to be fair. ~ Helen Fielding

I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5-lb. perch in my lake. (Answering a reporter who asked him to name the best moment of his Presidency.) ~ George W. Bush

I sighed.
Tink was sitting on the couch beside me and he'd commandeered my laptop at some point. The Walking Dead was on the television - well, it was on the Amazon Fire Stick TV thingy that the little bastard had ordered a few days ago unbeknownst to me. On my laptop, he was watching old episodes of Supernatural. I think he was on season three judging by the current length of Sam Winchester's hair.
At least it wasn't Harry Potter andTwilight this time, because I was getting really tired of hearing him quote Edward Cullen and Ron Weasley at the same time. ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout

Do what I do. Hold tight and pretend it's a plan!
- The Doctor, Season 7, Christmas Special ~ Steven Moffat

The first season, 'Supernatural' was very anthology-like. It was like a scary story of the week that the brothers would solve. ~ Robert Duncan McNeill

We had already beaten them 4-0 and 7-0 earlier this season, so we knew we were in for a really tough game today. ~ Barry Ferguson

The one who kills runs the risk of destroying the entire world just building up the courage to meet death eye-to-eye. ~ Blassreiter Season 2 Episode 7

A travel agent told I could spend 7 nights in HAWAII no days just nights. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

It was like orderin a hamburger and getting only the buns
(After Brooke White of season 7 on american idol sang the song 'Hero'
by Mariah Carey) ~ Simon Cowell

Comedy is hard work. People expect you to be funny 24/7. So if you're not constantly cracking up your friends, it can hurt you professionally. They may not read your book or come to your show. 'She's a comedian? She's not that funny!' It's unfair 'cause when cardio surgeon friends say they cut chests open and hold hearts in their hands, everyone just takes their word for it. ~ Judy Balan

The population of earth has reached 7 billion people, every single one of whom send you irritating emails to join something called "LinkedIn." ~ Dave Barry

Baseball is the only game left for people. To play basketball, you have to be 7 feet 6 inches. To play football, you have to be the same width. ~ Bill Veeck

So there are pics of Tucker's mighty wang on the internet?"

"I haven't been tagged on Instagram yet, so I'm hopeful they aren't out there. But thanks for calling my dick mighty. We appreciate that." Amusement colors his words.

"We? As in you and your penis?"

"Yup," he says cheerfully.

I snuggle deeper under the covers. "You have a name for your penis?"

"Doesn't everyone? Guys put a name on everything that's important to them - cars, dicks. One of my teammates in junior hockey named his stick, which was dumb because sticks break all the time. He'd gone through twelve of them by the end of the season."

"What were the names?"

"That's the thing. He just kept adding a number to the end, like iPhone 6, iPhone 7, except in his case it was Henrietta 1, Henrietta 2, et cetera."

I snicker. "He should've used the hurricane naming convention."

"Darlin', he wasn't smart enough to come up with two names, let alone twelve. ~ Elle Kennedy

Using supernatural beings to build the perfect weapon? Intriguing idea."
"Not really," I said. "They did it on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. A sub-par season. I slept through half the episodes. ~ Kelley Armstrong

Does it get heavy?"
"Does what get heavy?"
"That big head you lug around 24/7, 365." Sally patted Jen on the back. "It just seems like maybe your neck or back would begin to hurt at some point."
"Wow, Sally. I'm impressed you aren't just going for a psychology degree! Right now you seem to be running for mayor of 'I think I'm funny' town. ~ Quinn Loftis

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life. ~ Steven Wright

Paul is a liar, he said so. (Romans 3:7.) ~ Simon Ewins

It's funny how we hate to face realities. I knew a commuter once who rode in town every day on the 8.13. But he used to call it the 7.73. He said it made him feel more virtuous. ~ Christopher Morley

My personal success would be that people understand what I was trying to do. It was the most palatable when I watchmen_7_mdid Dawn. With Watchmen, too, I feel the same way. The movie's ironic and satirical and it's funny and serious and that's kind of the same way I felt about Dawn. Like I really was making a movie that knows it's a zombie movie and enjoys that and wants the audience to say, yeah, that's okay. ~ Zack Snyder

RyanAir have been getting a hard time because they've launched a £7 flight to New York. Although as always with RyanAir it does land slightly outside of New York. In Dublin. ~ Frankie Boyle

I hate it. It looks like a stickup at 7-Eleven. Five guys standing there with their hands in the air. ~ Norm Sloan

Making a lie complicated... doesn't sound true.

(BackStrom Season 1 episode 7) ~ Deyth Banger

Destiny strips at the Melon Patch. They're people Ted, try to keep 'em straight. ~ Barney Stinson

You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting. ~ John Oliver

By and large, people who enjoy teaching animals to roll over will find themselves happier with a dog. ~ Barbara Holland

Prostitution is, essentially, not a capitalist phenomenon but a patriarchal one. It did not automatically occur when people began to buy and sell but is instead rooted in the relationship between men and women. But when prostitution is incorporated an advanced, highly developed market economy, this complex power struggle itself becomes a commodity. Sex is separated from the person and becomes supernatural. ~ Kajsa Ekis Ekman

Horror films are very functional like comedies. The main thing with a comedy, the big question is "is it funny?" And with horror the question is "is it scary?" ~ Leigh Whannell

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them. ~ Steve Martin

A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked. ~ Jay London