Funny Baseball Quotes

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Quotes About Funny Baseball

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They've taken the foot off Johnny Grubb. Uh, they've taken the shoe off Johnny Grubb. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
The sky is so clear today you can see all the way to Missouri. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
The hardest thing to do in baseball is to hit a round baseball with a round bat, squarely. ~ Ted Williams
Funny Baseball quotes by Ted Williams
Things could be worse. Suppose your errors were counted and published everyday, like those of a baseball player. ~ William Alexander
Funny Baseball quotes by William Alexander
If ever an error had "F" written on it, that grounder did. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
Bob Davis has his hair differently this year, short with curls like Randy Jones wears. I think you call it a Frisbee. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
Kent Abbott is in the on-deck circuit. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
You walk into the locker room, and you see players with their ripping muscles and stomachs you could wash your clothes in. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
Ninety percent of this game is half mental. ~ Yogi Berra
Funny Baseball quotes by Yogi Berra
I don't know about Willie Davis. He's not as young as he used to be. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
Last night's homer was Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
It's off the leg and into the left field of Doug Rader. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
Larry Moffett is 6' 3". Last year he was 6" 6". ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
Houston has its largest crowd of the night here this evening. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
Davis fouls out to third in fair territory. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
McCovey swings and misses, and it's fouled back. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
And Kansas City is at Chicago tonight, or is it Chicago at Kansas City? Well, no matter as Kansas City leads in the eighth 4 to 4. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
When a baseball player makes an error, it goes into the record and is published. How many of us could stand this sort of daily scrutiny? ~ Sydney J. Harris
Funny Baseball quotes by Sydney J. Harris
The big ballpark can do it all! ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
And it's a long drive down the line to centerfield. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
You don't realize how easy this game is until you get up in that broadcasting booth. ~ Mickey Mantle
Funny Baseball quotes by Mickey Mantle
Renko has just about had it. Pretty soon somebody will come out of the dugout with a fork and get him. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
Larry Lintz steals second standing up. He slid, but he didn't have to. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
I'm glad I don't play anymore. I could never learn all those handshakes. ~ Phil Rizzuto
Funny Baseball quotes by Phil Rizzuto
Baseball players practice, runners practice, so how can you practice being funny? You get up onstage. You train as an improviser, playing make-believe, using the vernacular of improvisation, saying 'yes and' to other people's ideas, making statements. ~ Ali Farahnakian
Funny Baseball quotes by Ali Farahnakian
On the mound is Randy Jones, the left-hander with the Karl Marx hairdo. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
Sanguillen is totally unpredictable to pitch to because he's so unpredictable. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
There's a hard shot to LeMaster, he throws Madlock into the dugout. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
Montreal leads Atlanta by three, 5-1. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
The Cards lead the Dodgers 4-2 after one inning and that one hasn't even started. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. ~ Abe Lemons
Funny Baseball quotes by Abe Lemons
Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps. ~ Rita Rudner
Funny Baseball quotes by Rita Rudner
What a great hitch to pit! ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
The way he's swinging the bat, he won't get a hit until the 20th century. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
Nothing flatters me more than to have it assumed that I could write prose, unless it be to have it assumed that I once pitched a baseball with distinction. ~ Robert Frost
Funny Baseball quotes by Robert Frost
The greatest feeling in the world is to win a major league game. The second-greatest feeling is to lose a major league game. ~ Chuck Tanner
Funny Baseball quotes by Chuck Tanner
Those amateur umpires are certainly flexing their fangs tonight. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
All the Padres need is a fly ball in the air. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
Montefusco bare-hands it and throws him out. That grounder will make you a traveling salesman in a hurry! ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
With the money I'm making, I should be playing two positions. ~ Pete Rose
Funny Baseball quotes by Pete Rose
The first rule of baseball is to get a good ball to hit. ~ Rogers Hornsby
Funny Baseball quotes by Rogers Hornsby
I don't know (if they were men or women running naked across the field). They had bags over their heads. ~ Yogi Berra
Funny Baseball quotes by Yogi Berra
You didn't have to say it was gone. It was gone before it got outta here. It was going that fast. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
It's a cold night out tonight. The Padres better warm up real good because it's stiff out there. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
All ballplayers should quit when it starts to feel as if all the baselines run uphill. ~ Babe Ruth
Funny Baseball quotes by Babe Ruth
Gonzo leaps like a giraffe and grabs it. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
Well, I hope before Glenn goes, he'll come up here so we can give him a big hug and a kiss, because that's the kind of guy he is. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
His herding instinct is so strong that he confuses tractors on a baseball field for sheep. He was hospitalized twice. Once by a line drive and once for attacking a tractor tread. ~ Tom Hayden
Funny Baseball quotes by Tom Hayden
I sure hope you're staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
That big guy, Winfield, at 6'6, can do things only a small man can do. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
There's a shot up the alley. Oh, it's just foul. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
Models are like baseball players. We make a lot of money quickly, but all of a sudden we're 30 years old, we don't have a college education, we're qualified for nothing, and we're used to a very nice lifestyle. The best thing is to marry a movie star. ~ Cindy Crawford
Funny Baseball quotes by Cindy Crawford
I gave (pitcher) Mike Cuellar more chances than I gave my first wife. ~ Earl Weaver
Funny Baseball quotes by Earl Weaver
Those numbers with Tony are so often and so interesting. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
There's a deep fly ball ... Winfield goes back, back ... his head hits the wall ... it's rolling towards second base. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
Over the course of a season, a miscue will cost you more than a good play. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
I managed a team that was so bad we considered a 2-0 count on the batter a rally. ~ Rich Donnelly
Funny Baseball quotes by Rich Donnelly
Tony Gwynn, the fat batter behind Finley, is waiting. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
I don't mean he missed him, but he just didn't get him when he put the tag on him. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
If Rose's streak was still intact, with that single to left, the fans would be throwing babies out of the upper deck. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
It's never happened in the World Series competition, and it still hasn't. ~ Yogi Berra
Funny Baseball quotes by Yogi Berra
Why do people sing Take Me Out to The Ballgame when they're already there? ~ Alex Rodriguez
Funny Baseball quotes by Alex Rodriguez
You might want to put this in the back of your craw and think about it. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
Baseball is the only game left for people. To play basketball, you have to be 7 feet 6 inches. To play football, you have to be the same width. ~ Bill Veeck
Funny Baseball quotes by Bill Veeck
Aw, how could he Jorge Orta lose the ball in the sun, he's from Mexico. ~ Harry Caray
Funny Baseball quotes by Harry Caray
Hrabosky looks fierce in that Fu Manchu haircut. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
If Pete Rose brings the Reds in first, they ought to bronze him and put him in cement. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
It's no coincidence that female interest in the sport of baseball has
increased greatly since the ballplay- ers swapped those wonderful
old-time baggy flannel uniforms for leotards. ~ Mike Royko
Funny Baseball quotes by Mike Royko
Baseball was made for kids, and grown-ups only screw it up. ~ Bob Lemon
Funny Baseball quotes by Bob Lemon
A man once told me to walk with the Lord. I'd rather walk with the bases loaded. ~ Ken Singleton
Funny Baseball quotes by Ken Singleton
Looking scary with a baseball outfit on and a little bouffant, you know, it just does not work. Especially with sculpted eyebrows. ~ Robert Pattinson
Funny Baseball quotes by Robert Pattinson
Hi folks, I'm Gerry Gross! ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
I think I throw the ball as hard as anyone. The ball just doesn't get there as fast. ~ Eddie Bane
Funny Baseball quotes by Eddie Bane
As a general comment on baseball:"90% of the game is half mental." ~ Yogi Berra
Funny Baseball quotes by Yogi Berra
Even though the ball was doubled, they got it anyway. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
A lot of things run through your head when you're going in to relieve in a tight spot. One of them was, "Should I spike myself?" ~ Lefty Gomez
Funny Baseball quotes by Lefty Gomez
Ozzie Smith just made another play that I've never seen anyone else make before, and I've seen him make it more often than anyone else ever has. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
When Guante started, they thought he'd be like popcorn, one of the most popular things around. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
George Hendrick simply lost that sun-blown pop-up. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
I'd find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I'd return it. ~ Yogi Berra
Funny Baseball quotes by Yogi Berra
It's a base hit on the error by Roberts. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
Trailing 5-1, the Padres added an insurance run in the eighth inning. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
At the end of six innings of play, it's Montreal 5, Expos 3. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing. ~ Dizzy Dean
Funny Baseball quotes by Dizzy Dean
Billy Almon has all of his in-laws and outlaws here this afternoon. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
That's the fourth extra base hit for the Padres - two doubles and a triple. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
Benedict may not be as hurt as he really is. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
Once (Stan) Musial timed your fastball, your infielders were in jeopardy. ~ Warren Spahn
Funny Baseball quotes by Warren Spahn
I'd be willing to bet you, if I was a betting man, that I have never bet on baseball. ~ Pete Rose
Funny Baseball quotes by Pete Rose
Zane Smith is a guy who can shut you out as well as look at you. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
The game in St. Louis has been halted in the fourth inning because of rain. I'll bet they have the jacuzzis going there. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
I like getting up in front of an audience. It's fun when you go to a baseball game and the crowd is cheering you. I can't deny it. And it's very funny, too. Sometimes you're shy; you go somewhere and everyone's looking at you, so you feel a little self-conscious. ~ Jon Lovitz
Funny Baseball quotes by Jon Lovitz
Every time a baseball player grabs his crotch, it makes him spit. That's why you should never date a baseball player. ~ Marsha Warfield
Funny Baseball quotes by Marsha Warfield
Templeton is as hot as you can be and still walk! ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
I never threw an illegal pitch. The trouble is, once in a while I toss one that ain't never been seen by this generation. ~ Satchel Paige
Funny Baseball quotes by Satchel Paige
With one out in the first, Dave Roberts looks a lot better than the last time he pitched against the Padres! ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
Baseball statistics are like a girl in a bikini. They show a lot, but not everything. ~ Toby Harrah
Funny Baseball quotes by Toby Harrah
DeShaies is like a clock out there. Every other pitch goes one way or the other. ~ Jerry Coleman
Funny Baseball quotes by Jerry Coleman
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