Episode 18 Karma Barney Stinson Quotes

Destiny strips at the Melon Patch. They're people Ted, try to keep 'em straight. ~ Barney Stinson

Article 24: When wearing a baseball cap, a Bro may position the brim at either 12 or 6 o'clock. All other angles are reserved for rappers and the handicapped. ~ Barney Stinson

Renounce and enjoy." Those who are compulsively attached to the results of action cannot really enjoy what they do; they get downcast when things do not work out and cling more desperately when they do. So the Gita classifies the karma of attachment as pleasant at first, but "bitter as poison in the end" (18:38), because of the painful bondage of conditioning. Again, ~ Krishna-Dwaipayana Vyasa

A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth. ~ Barney Stinson

It's going to be legen ... wait for it ... and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant cause the second half of that word is ... dairy! ~ Barney Stinson

Ted, I believe you and I met for a reason. It's like the universe was saying, Hey Barney, there's this dude, he's pretty cool, but it is your job to make him awesome ~ Barney Stinson

Article 2: A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are all doing it. ~ Barney Stinson

When I let a day go by without talking you..... That day is just no good. ~ Barney Stinson

Believe it or not, I was not always as awesome as I am today ~ Barney Stinson

When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. ~ Barney Stinson

The television business is based on managed dissatisfaction. You're watching a great television show you're really wrapped up in? You might get 50 minutes of watching a week and then 18,000 minutes of waiting until the next episode comes along. ~ Ted Sarandos

You know what Marshall needs to do. He needs to stop being sad. When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead. True story. ~ Barney Stinson

Dude.. where's your suit? Just once, when I say "suit up" I wish you'd put on a suit. ~ Barney Stinson

Today, many people take for granted the notion that people whose lives are going to be very heavily affected by public policies should have a say in how they are formulated and carried out. ~ Barney Frank

The paths to liberation are numerous, but the bank along the way is always the same, the Bank of Karma, where the liberation account of each of us is credited or debited depending on our actions. ~ Yann Martel

As Churchill said about the Great War, and he said this in about 1924, that it was the first war in which man realized that he could obliterate himself completely. If you consider the way the whole world was impacted, 18 million people worldwide died, and that is taking into account military and civilian deaths: 18 million people. And it was the whole world, if you will. You know, many of those trenches were dug by Chinese. There are photographs of Chinese looking like they just came from China, with their hats and so on, digging the trenches, right from the beginning. ~ Jacqueline Winspear

Freddie Freeman led all Braves' starters with a (.282) batting average in 2011. Not bad for a rookie. Then again, this is the kid who hit his first big league bomb against none other than Roy Halladay ... the same kid whose leather at first is so flashy than at times it's hard to decide which to be more excited about, his bat or his glove, the same kid who joined teammate Dan Uggla with concurrent 20-game hitting streaks in 2011 - a first in modern era Braves' history - and the same kid who won NL Rookie of the Month honors in July after hitting .362 with six homers, 17 runs, and 18 RBIs. ~ Tucker Elliot

Anything difficult to say must be shouted from the rooftops. ~ Natalie Clifford Barney

Climb greater heights to obtain a new perspective. ~ Truth Devour

A mother deserves a day off to care for a sick child or sick parent without running into hardship - and you know what, a father does, too. It's time to do away with workplace policies that belong in a 'Mad Men' episode. ~ Barack Obama

For some reason, everyone says "fashion is responsible for skinny models." I don't believe that myself. I believe consumers dictate commercial success and trends in a capitalistic society. So I believe if consumers wanted to see - like, who decided that Barney the Dinosaur was going to be a million-dollar industry? ~ Kelly Cutrone

People have to understand one thing: at the age of 18, I arrived at a dream club like Manchester United. It was a dream come true. But, even at that moment, I was thinking about playing in England for some years and then going to play in Spain. Even at that time I was thinking that way, and I always gave 100% everything. ~ Cristiano Ronaldo

I was wanting to be a kid at 18 instead of being a young woman. ~ Kristy McNichol

My oldest step-son wants to direct or produce. As far as being an actor, I've already told them they have to wait until they're 18; I won't take them to auditions. ~ Elizabeth Perkins

Proverbs 18:8 8 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts. ~ Anonymous

We grow up opposing our parents only to become like them enough to oppose our children who behave as we once did - a reminder of how dreadful we were toward those now vindicated grandparents. And you thought God had no sense of humor. ~ Richelle E. Goodrich

To think about and prepare for war is boring, boring for everyone. It's being locked in barracks. ~ Natalie Clifford Barney

I always thought it would be funny to have the Parents Television Council write an episode of 'Family Guy' and give them full creative control. Then see how good the episode is. That's something we've actually discussed in the writers' room. We haven't proposed it yet, but if somebody from the PTC reads this, it might be worth discussing. ~ Seth MacFarlane

12 All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one." 13 o "Their throat is p an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive." q "The venom of asps is under their lips." 14 r "Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness." 15 s "Their feet are swift to shed blood; 16 in their paths are ruin and misery, 17 and t the way of peace they have not known." 18 u "There is no fear of God before their eyes. ~ Anonymous

Hero worship has died with heroes, and if someone bows down today, it is to pick up something. ~ Natalie Clifford Barney

"The more we search for ourselves, the less likely we are to find ourselves; and the more we search for God, and to serve our fellow-men, the more profoundly will we become acquainted with ourselves, and the more inwardly assured. This is one of the great spiritual laws of life." (From a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer, February 18, 1954) ~ Shoghi Effendi

The purpose of life is joy! When you're in joy, you attract the highest and best in every area of your life. Joy increases to the exact degree that you deliberately increase your good thoughts, good words, and good actions. I've found in my life that the easiest way to increase my joy is to religiously practice gratitude until I'm a gratitude machine! ~ Rhonda Byrne

General revelation provides us with the knowledge that God exists. "The heavens declare the glory of God," says the psalmist. God's glory is displayed in the works of His hands. This display is so clear and manifest that no creature can possibly miss it. It unveils God's eternal power and deity (Romans 1:18-23). Revelation in nature does not give a full revelation of God. It does not give us the information about God the Redeemer that we find in the Bible. But the God who is revealed in nature is the same God who is revealed in Scripture. ~ R.C. Sproul

If you choose to draw from the inner well of free will, then you can make choices that are outside your current karmic patterns. ~ Frederick Lenz

It is unwise to trust your own judgment. "He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who lives by wisdom will escape" (CJB, Proverbs 28:26). Many people have made bad financial investments because they based their decisions on their own judgment and pride. The Tanakh warns, "Pride goes before destruction, and arrogance before failure" (CJB, Proverbs 16:18). "Before being ruined, a person's heart is proud" (CJB, Proverbs 18:12). The ~ H.W. Charles

Here's a proposal, offered only partly in jest: no resident of the United States, whether born here or abroad, should get to be a citizen until age 18, at which time each such resident has to take a test. ~ Eric Liu

For 'The Haunting Hour,' I thought it would be a lot of fun. It was great to play this cool kid role. My episode is called 'The Intruders' and my character is this mean, angry teenager because her younger brother was just born and he gets all of the attention. She's always playing tricks on her family, and there are some cool twists. ~ Willow Shields

With You I can attack a barrier, and with my God I can leap over a wall. Psalm 18:29 ~ Beth Moore

In his History of the Peloponnesian War, Thucydides adduces a change in language as a major factor in Athens's descent from dysfunctional democracy through demagoguery into tyranny and anarchy: people began to define things in any way they pleased, he says, and the "normally accepted meaning of words" broke down. In his account of the Catiline crisis in republican Rome, Sallust has Cato the Younger identify the misuse of language - specifically the scission of word and meaning - as the underlying cause of the threat to the state. Society, Cato says, has lost the "vera vocabula rerum," literally, the "true names of things."18 In seventeenth-century England, Thomas Hobbes lived through a civil war he believed had been caused in significant measure by a war of words about religion - spread through the pervasive pamphleteering that printing had made possible - that had fatally weakened the linguistic common ground on which an ordered state depends. ~ Mark John Thompson

18. Conor McGregor BONUS book 19. LeBron James BONUS book 20. Jim Carrey BONUS book 21. Donald Trump BONUS book 22. Arnold Schwarzenegger BONUS book 23. --- SUPER SEXY ~ Nick O'Connor

'For where two or three are gathered together in My name, there am I in the midst of them' (Mt. 18:20). I reverence even two or three praying together, for in accordance with the Lord's promise He Himself is in the midst of them. ~ John Of Kronstadt