Funny Bush Quotes

I firmly believe the death tax is good for people from all walks of life all throughout our society. ~ George W. Bush

We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease. ~ George W. Bush

Our nation must come together to unite. ~ George W. Bush

I'm the commander
see, I don't need to explain
I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being president. ~ George W. Bush

I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5-lb. perch in my lake. (Answering a reporter who asked him to name the best moment of his Presidency.) ~ George W. Bush

I stand by all the misstatements that I've made. ~ Dan Quayle

They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program. ~ George W. Bush

I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family. ~ George W. Bush

I've coined new words, like, misunderstanding and Hispanically. ~ George W. Bush

I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here. ~ George W. Bush

It's your money. You paid for it. ~ George W. Bush

It is clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign oil. More and more of our imports come from overseas. ~ George W. Bush

The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country. ~ George W. Bush

I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them. ~ George H. W. Bush

We know that dictators are quick to choose aggression, while free nations strive to resolve differences in peace. ~ George W. Bush

It's time for the human race to enter the solar system. ~ Dan C. Quayle

In my judgement, when the United States says there will be serious consequences, and if there isn't serious consequences, it creates adverse consequences. ~ George W. Bush

I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things ~ George W. Bush

One of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror. ~ George W. Bush

As yesterday's positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured. - New York, Sept. 26, 2007 ~ George W. Bush

I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Chanukah. ~ George W. Bush

I understand small business growth. I was one. ~ George W. Bush

Laura and I really don't realize how bright our children is sometimes until we get an objective analysis. ~ George W. Bush

I think we agree, the past is over. ~ George W. Bush

I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves. ~ George W. Bush

The illiteracy level of our children are appalling. ~ George W. Bush

Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness. ~ George W. Bush

I am a person who recognizes the fallacy of humans. ~ George W. Bush

It's very important for folks to understand that when there's more trade, there's more commerce. ~ George W. Bush

Every nation in every region now has a decision to make. Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists. ~ George W. Bush

It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet. ~ George W. Bush

When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you knew exactly who they were. It was us versus them, and it was clear who them was. Today, we are not so sure who the they are, but we know they're there. ~ George W. Bush

This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses. ~ George W. Bush

We ought to make the pie higher. ~ George W. Bush

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign. ~ George W. Bush

Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment. ~ George W. Bush

The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq were the ones who attacked us in America on September the 11th. ~ George W. Bush

First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill. ~ George W. Bush

I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. ~ George W. Bush

And she looks at me with her eyes open wide and a face that says: Oh my God, I'm muckin' around in my sexy Jesus-boots, in my crazy dreamworld, and I've opened the door and let you in on my crazy dreamworld and that's so embarrassing but, actually, who cares? because it's funny. ~ Jaclyn Moriarty

What goes up must come down. Which is why we invented Viagra, to make it stay up a little longer. ~ Carroll Bryant

I see they found out the universe is 80 million years older than we thought. It's also been lying about its weight. ~ Bill Maher

Rick to Herschel: My wife is pregnant. That is either a gift here, or a death sentence out there. ~ The Walking Dead

What do you call a rifle with three barrels?
A trifle. ~ Joseph Rosenbloom

Did you play? It sounded very good. ~ Eugene Ormandy

Do you want a cookie?
- What?
- A cookie. Like an Oreo. Do you want one?
- No.
- How can you not want a cookie?
- I just don't.
- Okay, fine,let's say you did want a cookie. Let's say you were dying for a cookie, and there were cookies in the cupboard. What would you do?
- I'd eat a cookie?
- Exactly. That's all I'm saying.
- What are you saying?
- That if people want cookies, they should get a cookie. It's what people do.
- Let me guess. Dad won't let you have a
cookie?
- No. Even though I'm practically starving to death, he won't even consider it. He says I have to have a sandwich first.
- And you don't think that's fair.
- You just said you'd get a cookie if you wanted one. So why can't I? I'm not a little kid. I can make my own decisions.
- Hmm. I can see why this bothers you so
much.
- It's not fair. If he wants a cookie, he can have one. If you want a cookie,
you can have one. But if I want a cookie, the rules don't count. Like you
said, it's not fair.
- So what are you going to do?
- I'm going to eat a sandwich. Because I have to. Because the world isn't fair
to ten-year-olds. ~ Nicholas Sparks

How have the dates been treating you?'
'Disgusting,' I said.
'Ah, too bad.'
'Each its own little death.'
'Funny,' he said. 'You're like a little death.'
'What?' I asked.
'You are. You're ... gloomy yet charming. I like it.'
'Well, no one has said that before.'
'You're gently death-ish. You know about death, you're aware of it, and most people aren't anymore. But you're not a killer. You're a soft darkness. ~ Melissa Broder

Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on. ~ Bo Burnham

There are a lot of funny things that happen in one's life. ~ Pierce Brosnan

The 2012 Olympics is going to cost £8 billion which is a lot of money. It'll probably bankrupt London. But you can't put a price on two bronze medals in cycling. ~ Jimmy Carr

Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing. ~ Zach Galifianakis

Once I faced a female with diamond skin," Nix said breathlessly. "I was transfixed - even as she was choking the life out of me."
"Really?"
" No, I saw that character on X men. I just wanted to commiserate. Alas, I have no weaknesses."
"Except your insanity," Lucia pointed out.
sigh. "Well played, Archer. then carry on ... ~ Kresley Cole

If cheese was a woman, I'd marry her. I'd come home and eat her every night. ~ Solange Nicole

Well, now," Mrs. Havisham said, all but purring as she leaned forward, ample cleavage on display. "You've grown up, haven't you? Tell me, Gustavo. What are your thoughts on having an experienced lover?"
"Not many," Gus said. "In fact, none at all. Also? I came out when I was thirteen. You were there. As was the whole town. Pastor Tommy announced it at the Fall Harvest Festival. On stage. Into a microphone. There was apple pie afterward."
"Still?" she said with an exaggerated pout.
"Yes," Gus said, deadpan as he could make it. "Still. Funny how that works."
"Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me," she said, dragging a pink fingernail down his arm. "My door is always open. Like my body."
"That's not even remotely healthy," Gus said with a sniff.
"Maybe that's why I need your protein," she said with a wink.
"Nope," Gus said. "Nope, nope, nope."
"You sure about that?"
"Maybe you should close that door. And your legs. ~ T.J. Klune

Is Islam a religion of peace? I'm sure for some of the practitioners, but it's been hijacked by people who have an ideology that wants to destroy western civilization, and they're barbarians. ~ Jeb Bush

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths. ~ Groucho Marx

Without setbacks there'd be no comebacks, and everyone loves a come. ~ Kyle Johnson

Isabelle looked dubious. "Mom and Dad won't be pleased if they find out."
"That you freed a possible criminal by trading away your brother to a warlock who looks like a gay Sonic the Hedgehog and dresses like the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Band? Simon inquired. "No, probably not. ~ Cassandra Clare

Funny how people keep thanking God after He's inflicted a disaster on them. ~ Richard Marman

I'd love to get into some comedy, but people keep saying, 'You're not funny!' And I say, 'Well, fair enough.' I have done comedy on stage. ~ Ciaran Hinds

Funny thing is, there's only so much you can fill up with earthly things. There's an empty place and a void inside that only God can fill and some folks never figure that out. ~ Tracie Peterson

I like politics. I like traveling in the United States. ~ Laura Bush

It sounds funny, but the 2008 Olympics were something that just kind of happened, and I was lucky they came at a point when I was uninjured and well prepared. As a gymnast, you can't ask for much more. ~ Shawn Johnson

I specifically remember doing the musical 'Sweet Charity' at Stagedoor. I was playing Vittorio Vidal, which is a very funny part, and some other small roles. I couldn't really sing that well, but there were so many fun bits, and I just remember the tremendous adrenaline rush I felt from being onstage and hearing the audience enjoying it. ~ Sebastian Stan

Parents have funny ways of showing their love sometimes. Mom says my life is all black and white right now, as a kid. But she says when I get older, become a women, that changes, and there's a lot of gray area. I think adult love is more complicated. ~ Brooklyn James

But I don't have a very good track record with royalty. My dress fell off in front of Prince Charles at the Prince's Trust, so I'm just living up to my reputation. ~ Kate Bush

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog. ~ Jay Leno

Is that clear?" said Borcht "as clear as pea soup" I said ~ James Patterson

Idiots are of two kinds: those who try to be smart and those who think they are smart. ~ Raheel Farooq

Of course! Jeb Bush! America is hungry for another leader from that talented family! ~ Stephen Colbert

I speak better English than this villain, Bush. ~ Mohammed Saeed Al-Sahaf

If we piled them up, they would reach God.' 'But God does not exist, Comrade Farmer.' 'Nor do the potatoes, Comrade Stalin.' " "Old one." "Jokes only get old if they're good. Otherwise, who keeps telling them?" "People like you who aren't funny? ~ David Benioff

It's not funny at all that we do all that advertising for children. Why is advertising for children allowed? What possible reason can there be for having those effing adverts on TV for all this crap that's made by poor people in poor countries that we sell our children who have too much? ~ Emma Thompson

When somebody listens and laughs, you're always in better shape than when you're with those folks who just kind of look at you when you say something funny. You wonder if they're looking at you because they're mad that they didn't say it or something. It's hard to handle that. ~ Jason Sudeikis

The funny thing about good people - people like Daneca - is that they really honestly don't get the impulse toward evil. They have an incredibly hard time reconciling with the idea that a person who makes them smile can still be capable of terrible things. Which is why, although she's accusing me of being a murderer, she seems more annoyed than actually worried about getting murdered. Daneca seems to persist in a belief that if I would just listen and understand how bad my bad choices are, I'd stop making them. ~ Holly Black