Bumper Sticker Christian Quotes

Dina listens to conservative talk radio, belongs to a fundamentalist Christian church, and has a "Guns don't kill people - abortion clinics do" bumper sticker on her car. ~ Christina Baker Kline

Genius has its limitations.
Insanity ... not so much -Bumper Sticker ~ Darynda Jones

If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own. ~ Wes "Scoop" Nisker

When life hands you lemons say,
"Lemons? What else have you got?"
- bumper sticker ~ Darynda Jones

He who laughs last, thinks slowest. ~ Larry The Cable Guy

Hook up with us and see a quick return on your premiums.' I like it, Sammy. Think we can fit it on a bumper sticker? (Dean) ~ Jeff Mariotte

God is love, but Satan does that thing you like with his tongue.

--BUMPER STICKER ~ Darynda Jones

There are a lot of things that fit on a bumper sticker in terms of either liberty or equality or progress that when made more concrete just don't pan out. ~ Laurence Tribe

You don't put bumper stickers on a Bentley. ~ Kim Kardashian

One thing I learned in sobriety is to stop being judgmental, to always be discerning. When I drive, that will be my bumper sticker. ~ Kevin Sessums

How ironic is it to see a bumper sticker that says 'Jesus is the answer' next to a bumper sticker supporting the war in Iraq, as if to says 'Jesus is the answer - but not in the real world. ~ Shane Claiborne

God created whammy bars for people who don't know how to solo. ~ Dave Mustaine

I must confess, when I see anyone with an Obama 2012 bumper sticker, I recognize them as a threat to the gene pool. ~ Allen West

That bumper sticker everyone has down in Philadelphia, the one that says, 'Only the Lord saves more than Bernie Parent,' really isn't true. God couldn't have made all the saves that Parent made against us. ~ Jerry Korab

Live your life true.,
That way the preacher won't have to lie at your funneral. ~ Unknown - Saw On A Bumper Sticker

Good places for aphorisms: in fortune cookies, on bumper stickers, and on banners flying over the Palace of Free Advice. ~ Mason Cooley

I had a bumper sticker on my car for a long time that said, "Kill your television." People helpfully pointed out that I was a total fraud because I was a television writer. ~ George Meyer

Supporting the troops has got to mean more than bumper stickers on pickup trucks, my friends. We need to give them what they need. ~ Solomon Ortiz

I have a bumper sticker that Bowen created that says Regardless of my kids grades, they have an 'A' in my book'. Without play the child that still lives in all of us will always be incomplete. And not only physically, but creatively, intellectually, and spiritually as well. ~ George A. Sheehan

My other car is a vehicle with a bumper sticker describing this car. ~ Damien Fahey

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. ~ Erma Bombeck

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. ~ Mark Twain

A group called Draft Biden 2016 has started selling bumper stickers that say 'I'm ridin' with Biden.' It's a lot better than the other one that women around the White House have started using - 'I'm hidin' from Biden.' ~ Jimmy Fallon

I see the whole field of environmentalis m and population as nothing more
than the survival of the human species. I have wanted to have some bumper
sticker made up saying 'Save the Humans'. At the bottom of it all, we are
trying to save ourselves. ~ Ted Turner

Sex gets people killed, put in jail, beaten up, bankrupted, and disgraced, to say nothing of ruined - personally, politically, and professionally. Looking for sex can lead to misfortune, and if you get lucky and find it, it can leave you maimed, infected, or dead. Other than that, it's swell: the great American pastime ... You probably won't see it on a bumper sticker, but sex kills. ~ Edna Buchanan

I don't much believe in bumper sticker characterizations of foreign policy. ~ John Bolton

November 4, 1987 Chicago I saw a bumper sticker the other day that read I LOVE KILLING COMMUNISTS. The word love was replaced by a heart shape I'm guessing they'll put on the typewriter keyboard any day now, right beside the exclamation point. The bumper sticker was on a Ford Fairlane on Montrose Avenue. ~ David Sedaris

I really loathe [the bumper sticker] 'Proud Parent of a Terrific Kid!'
Why not a bumper sticker for the unlucky parents, something like: 'My Fifteen-Year-Old's in Detox and Not Speaking to Any of Us' or 'My Kid Robbed a 7-Eleven and is in a Center for Youthful Offenders. ~ Celia Rivenbark

Mom was adamantly pro-choice. She had a bumper sticker on the car that read If you can't trust me with a choice, how can you trust me with a child? But in her case the choice was to keep me. ~ Gayle Forman

A lot of people don't like bumper stickers. I don't mind bumper stickers. To me a bumper sticker is a shortcut. It's like a little sign that says 'Hey, let's never hang out.' ~ Demetri Martin

Ever seen that bumper sticker "He who dies with the most toys wins"? Millions of people act as if it were true. The more accurate saying is "He who dies with the most toys still dies - and never takes his toys with him." When we die after devoting our lives to acquiring things, we don't win - we lose. We move into eternity, but our toys stay behind, filling junkyards. The bumper sticker couldn't be more wrong. ~ Randy Alcorn

I'm in it for the metaphor. ~ Barbara Stoner

Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker ~ Darynda Jones

I've heard that before. Seen it on a bumper sticker. ~ Carolyn Spear

There are three kinds of people: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those who move. ~ Benjamin Franklin

Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God was my co-pilot, he thought, I'd be doing a hundred and twenty. ~ Carl Hiaasen

With a lightning quick glance at me first, he reads one bumper sticker: Member: BBB. Boys in Books are Better? ~ Anne Eliot

IF IT HAS TIRES OR TESTICLES, IT'S GONNA GIVE YOU TROUBLE. - BUMPER STICKER ~ Darynda Jones

Sometimes I wrestle my demons. Sometimes we just snuggle. - BUMPER STICKER ~ Darynda Jones

I used to be a bumper sticker kind of writer. Now I'm more developed, and my writing often takes up whole bumpers. ~ Jarod Kintz

The more you complain the longer God lets you live ~ Bertrand Russell

Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy ~ Fran Lebowitz

Have you ever seen a bumper sticker on a Lamborghini? ~ J.C. Cliff

If you're such a shallow person that a goddamn bumper sticker can sum up your beliefs, then Jesus Christ, are you even worth fighting for in the end? ~ Jason Myers

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? ~ Steven Wright

I saw a great bumper sticker that read: 'Do something that scares you every day.' That really stuck with me. I try to live like that. ~ Janice Tanton

A great principle of moral advancement, on par with "Love thy neighbor" and "All men are created equal," is the one on the bumper sticker: "Shit happens. ~ Steven Pinker

I just ordered a Life Alert bracelet, so if I get a life, I'll be notified immediately. - BUMPER STICKER I ~ Darynda Jones

[My father ] came home from World War II and he voted for [Dwight] Eisenhower. He was pretty thoughtful about those things, but never, as I said, ever campaigned for anybody. He let me put a [Barry] Goldwater sticker on his pickup truck, but he never put a bumper sticker on his car. We never had a yard sign or anything in our yards, never contributed to anybody's campaign. ~ Jeff Sessions

No, not in a creepy way. I am anti-incest. It says so on my bumper sticker. ~ Laurel Ulen Curtis

The only decoration on the gray segments of her cubicle was a bumper sticker, AT LEAST THE WAR ON THE ENVIRONMENT IS GOING WELL. Her colleagues' cubicles were covered with photos ~ Jonathan Franzen

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET SCARED HALF TO DEATH, TWICE? - T-SHIRT ~ Darynda Jones

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. ~ Steven Wright

We have better things to do. We realize life is not just a dress rehearsal and if you realize it, you don't need a bumper sticker to remind you. ~ Aimee Bender

Good choice. You have selected the SUV. Press one for a black SUV. Press two for powder blue. Press three for bright orange with the 'caution: bank robber on board' bumper sticker ~ Chris Dolley

Myself, I have never seen a bumper sticker saying " Hate if you Love Jesus ", but I sometimes wonder why not. It would be a good slogan for the religious Right. ~ Simon Blackburn

Tramp stamp. A tattoo in the center of a woman's lower back. Also referred to as a "California bumper sticker." The germans refer to this as "arschgeweih," which translates as "ass antler." Bravo! ~ Jeff Johnson

Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an ASSHOLE. ~ Bumber Sticker

If I had to sum up my philosophy of fuckness in a few words so I could cram it on a bumper sticker or t-shirt, those were the words I would have chosen: "Fuck it. ~ Andersen Prunty

Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see: We are the proud parents of a child who's self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn't need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car. ~ George Carlin

A Pennsylvania woman convicted for shoplifting was sentenced to wear a badge that reads "Convicted Shoplifter." However, her lawyers hope to plea bargain down to a bumper sticker reading "I'd Rather Be Stealing!. ~ Jimmy Fallon

The only person I compete with is Satan. If that happens to be you, then could you please move out of the way? You're standing in Christ's spot. ~ Shannon L. Alder

I read with keen interest the words of a bumper sticker readily visible on the highly polished chrome bumper of a car which was weaving in and out of the traffic stream. The words were these: "Honk if you love Jesus." No one honked. Perhaps each was disturbed by the thoughtless and rude actions of the offending driver. Then, again, would honking be an appropriate manner in which to show one's love for the Son of God, the Savior of the world, the Redeemer of all mankind? Such was not the pattern provided by Jesus of Nazareth. ~ Thomas S. Monson

Sure, society understands visible shackles-- they get the symbolism of the wheelchair, of prosthetics, of a bumper sticker reading disabled veteran, but they still struggle for comprehension of the profound, invisible shackles that an illness such as [Chronic Fatigue] puts on a person's body. ~ Peggy Munson

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. ~ Steven Wright

Every time I see the bumper sticker that says "We think we're humans having spiritual experiences, but we're really spirits having human experiences," I (a) think it's true and (b) want to ram the car. ~ Anne Lamott

During President George W. Bush's two terms, you couldn't drive far without seeing a particular bumper sticker: Dissent is the highest form of patriotism. Now that Democrats control the White House and Congress, the left treats dissent as the lowest form of treason. ~ Monica Crowley

President Obama's version of America is a divided one - pitting us against each other based on our income level, gender, and social status. His policies have failed! We are not better off than we were 4 years ago, and no rhetoric, bumper sticker, or campaign ad can change that. ~ Mia Love

Guess what? Faisal Shahzad is a registered Democrat. I wonder if his SUV had an Obama sticker on it. ~ Rush Limbaugh

One has to live with the ignominy of a garish sticker slapped over one's face, proclaiming '? ~ Michael Heseltine

I bet you've seen the fundamentalist bumper sticker that says, "God said it! I believe it! That settles it!" It must be a typo because what the driver really means is, "I said it! God believes it! That settles it! ~ Robert M. Price

I mean, without the antagonist, there would be no story! It'd be like: 'Once upon a time there was a girl who wanted to be loved, so she met a prince and got married and lived Happily Ever After, The End'? That's not a story; that's a bumper sticker. ~ Shannon Hale

Much of John Kerry's recent surge has come at the expense of Howard Dean. The situation reflected in his hot new bumper sticker, 'Dated Dean, Married Kerry.' It's cute and a lot more tasteful than the alternative version, 'Dated Dean, Married Kerry, Finger-Banged Kucinich.' ~ Jon Stewart

I'm one of those who believe the bumper sticker: If you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. The first people who are going to be in line to turn in their guns are law-abiding citizens. Criminals are going to be left with guns. ~ Gary Johnson

I noticed a bumper sticker that said, simply, "gravity works." yes it does. Rock climbers know this and plan for it. So do agile coaches. I use this metaphor to illustrate that, in our physical environment, somethings are simply taken as a given. Constant. Always present. Undeniable. So, too, in our work environment. ~ Lyssa Adkins

I'm one of those goobers who comes out of the polling place actually wearing the 'I VOTED' sticker on my jacket. ~ Mary Roach

In 30 years Christians will have baptized their picture of Christ. He won't be a nice, banal, meek, and bearded man with softly permed hair. Instead, he will fill our imaginations more solidly, more invasively , more unexpectedly. Christ will become That Man who changes people, someone who jumps off a bumper sticker and mediocre praise songs and into lives. ~ Jonalyn Fincher

Everything will be okay. I have a sticker on my laptop that says that. ~ Sharon Van Etten

'Cold Case Files' and similar shows do bang up business, which points to a certain thirst for details in the viewership, but it seems like all the news chat shows continue to force the myth that Americans can't stand detail and have no interest in an idea that can't fit on a bumper sticker. ~ Hal Sparks

We're being sold a brand new idea of patriotism. It never occurred to me that patriotism had to be advertised. Patriotism is something you deeply felt. You didn't have to wear it on your lapel or show it in your window or on a bumper sticker. That kind of patriotism does not appeal to me at all. ~ Sam Shepard

A popular bumper sticker post-9/11, and pretty faded these days, proclaims drivers of the cars to be 'Proud to be an American.' It really should say 'Lucky to be an American,' for I doubt very much that the drivers had much say in having been born here, and are not old enough to have participated in the drafting of the Constitution. ~ Hooman Majd

There's a kind of decadence about all this: If 9/11 was really an inside job, you wouldn't be driving around with a bumper sticker bragging that you were on to it. Fantasy is a by-product of security: it's the difference between hanging upside down in your dominatrix's bondage parlor after work on Friday and enduring the real thing for years on end in Saddam's prisons ... ~ Mark Steyn

The best lie someone can tell you is that you will have a bumper harvest when you didn't plant any seed. ~ Israelmore Ayivor

You want to know whether we're better off? I've got a little bumper sticker for you: Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive. Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive! Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive! ~ Joe Biden

The dog always dies. Go to the library and pick out a book with an award sticker and a dog on the cover. Trust me, that dog is going down. ~ Gordon Korman

The LIFE FROM GOD posture is so appealing because it doesn't ask us to change. What we desire, what we seek, what we do, and how we live - all shaped by consumerism - are not disrupted. Our values and way of life are simply projected onto God and incorporated into a religious system in which we receive divine assistance to meet our desires. In this way LIFE FROM GOD is nothing more than consumerism with a Jesus sticker slapped on the bumper. ~ Skye Jethani

I'm not all that big on rides. I sort of like bumper cars but I don't really go to Disneyland all that much unless if have nieces and nephews or people to take. ~ Anjelica Huston

Heracles was strangely silent. What is he thinking? / Geryon wondered. / Geryon watched prehistoric rocks move past the car and thought about thoughts. / Even when they were lovers / he had never known what Herakles was thinking. Once in a while he would say, / Penny for your thoughts! / and it always turned out to be some odd thing like a bumper sticker or a dish / he'd eaten in a Chinese restaurant years ago. / What Geryon was thinking Herakles never asked. In the space between them / developed a dangerous cloud. ~ Anne Carson

Hard work will never kill you; it's only going to make you gain more muscles to gather your bumper harvests! Do it and do it hard! ~ Israelmore Ayivor

Nothing changes if we just feel shitty about being White. And nothing changes if we refuse to talk about it. The opposite of white pride does not have to be white shame. We can't push it away and pretend it's not us. We are not color-blind, we are not post-race, we do not get to reject our whiteness because it makes us feel bad…This does not get solved with a Celebration of Diversity Day and a coexist bumper sticker. (Kate Schatz) ~ Carolina De Robertis

That the religious right completely took over the word Christian is a given. At one time, phrases such as Christian charity and Christian tolerance were used to denote kindness and compassion. To perform a "Christian" act meant an act of giving, of acceptance, of toleration. Now, Christian is invariably linked to right-wing conservative political thought
Christian nation, Christian morality, Christian values, Christian family. ~ Peter McWilliams

Stuff Happens.' That's the G-rated version. That's a bumper sticker that
only a straight white upper middle class male could have made. Because anyone who
isn't straight, anyone who isn't male, anyone who isn't white, anyone who isn't upper middle class knows that stuff doesn't just happen. Stuff gets done by people to people. Nothing is a coincidence. Nothing is random. This isn't osmosis. And so we act as if it's this passive thing, but yet that's not the case. ~ Tim Wise

I think happiness is a choice. I believe luck is your attitude. It sounds like a really annoying bumper sticker. But there is such a great truth in that. You choose how you want to feel about what happens to you. I could have been a miserable failure. I haven't had anybody looking over me, and I've found my own way through optimistic exploration and fire-burning mistakes. I am a very happy person with an extraordinary life, so I must be doing a lot of things right. I really believe when you peel away the layers, the worlds is a beautiful place filled with beautiful people. ~ Drew Barrymore

Thus Christian humanism is as indispensable to the Christian way of life as Christian ethics and a Christian sociology. ~ Christopher Dawson

The Christian life doesn't get easier as one gets older. ~ Alan Redpath

Ordinary" has to be one of the loneliest words in our vocabulary today. Who wants a bumper sticker that announces to the neighborhood, "My child is an ordinary student at Bubbling Brook Elementary"? Who wants to be that ordinary person who lives in an ordinary town, is a member of an ordinary church, and has ordinary friends and works an ordinary job? Our life has to count! We have to leave our mark, have a legacy, and make a difference. And all of this should be something that can be managed, measured, and maintained. We have to live up to our Facebook profile. It's one of the newer versions of salvation by works. ~ Michael S. Horton

Friend once told me that she could wake up a Christian ~ Christian Wiman

The car housed a hysterical bumper sticker: Save the Planet, and I permitted a moment of contemplation to truly bask in this thought. Save the planet? What a joke. Save the planet from what? From ourselves? And save it for what? For ourselves? It was a kind of perpetual stupidity in a tug-of-war battle over trivial matters. Only imbeciles see things in black and white: liberal or conservative, yes or no, this or that. Those in power laugh at those people in their morally inverted shades of grey, basking in the labels they've created so the people are easier to control. ~ Bruce Crown

It is only when all our Christian ancestors are allowed to become our contemporaries that the real splendor of the Christian faith and the Christian life begins to dawn upon us. ~ Bill Vaughan

I know I am awful. But how much more awful I should be without the Faith. ~ Evelyn Waugh