Funny Thoughts Quotes

Thats the danger of democracy: If organizations can develop, if people are no longer just glued to the tube, you may have all these funny thoughts arising in their heads, like sickly inhibitions against the use of military force. That has to be overcome, but it hasn't been overcome. ~ Noam Chomsky

Believe it or not, I make myself laugh. Sometimes when I have thoughts or say some things that are funny, it just makes me laugh, and I don't mind laughing at it before you guys do. ~ Kevin Hart

He who laughs last, thinks slowest. ~ Larry The Cable Guy

Oh, do shove off, Lady Bling. I was thinking some rather important thoughts before you interrupted me. ~ Gail Carriger

While you are not able to serve men, how can you serve spirits of the dead ... While you do not know life, how can you know about death ~ Confucius

You don't chatter half as much as you used to, Anne, nor use half as many big words. What has come over you?" Anne coloured and laughed a little, as she dropped her book and looked dreamily out of the window, where big fat red buds were bursting out on the creeper in response to the lure of the spring sunshine. "I don't know - I don't want to talk as much," she said, denting her chin thoughtfully with her fore-finger. "It's nicer to think dear, pretty thoughts and keep them in one's heart, like treasures. I don't like to have them laughed at or wondered over. And ~ L.M. Montgomery

What is extraordinary about the character of Edna - and I speak as though I am completely outside this character and I am talking to you - I'm, as it were, in the wings, and she's on stage, and every now and then she says something extremely funny, and I stand there and think: 'I wish I'd thought of that.' ~ Barry Humphries

The mind is not limited to the thoughts and imagination, but your mind is part of the cosmos of the universe. Your mind is whole awareness field. ~ Roshan Sharma

To make your life beautiful, impregnate your thoughts with beauty. ~ Debasish Mridha

When I think about books, I touch my shelf. ~ Unknown

If we allow our thoughts to arise and dissolve by themselves,
they will pass through our mind as a bird flies through the sky,
without leaving a trace. ~ Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche

I managed a team that was so bad we considered a 2-0 count on the batter a rally. ~ Rich Donnelly

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. ~ Steven Wright

And all this day an unaccustomed spirit lifts me above the ground with cheerful thoughts. ~ William Shakespeare

Dallas popped his jaw. I do not cackle. I bitch like a he-man. ~ Gena Showalter

So my mum bought a jacuzzi, and I was in there along with my father and my sister, when my mother decided it would be the ideal moment to say - 'Guess what everyone in this jacuzzi has in common? You've all sucked on my tits.' ~ Russell Howard

By the power of the Tri-Force, I command you to
~ Prashna Bari

I heave the basketball; I know it sails in a parabola, exhibiting perfect symmetry, which is interrupted by the basket. It's funny, but it is always interrupted by the basket. ~ Michael Jordan

I think sometimes in comedy the characters are often sacrificed for the joke, and it's more important for it to be funny than for there to be love. ~ Jenny Slate

Jocelyn even had a graceful way of walking that made people turn their heads to watch her go by. Clary, by contrast, was always tripping over her feet. The only time people turned to watch her go by was when she hurtled past them as she fell down stairs. ~ Cassandra Clare

I'm visiting my high school. Every half year I do the exams, and then this year I'm going to graduate. ~ Daniela Hantuchova

When he woke, daylight was coming through the glass floor, and a boy's voice said, Oh ... You are in so much trouble. ~ Rick Riordan

My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey; that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters! ~ Norm MacDonald

We are not always funny, but like a life with Fun ~ Jan Jansen

The long, winging flight through the void . . . cannot cross the universe of light . . . re-created by the thoughts caught in the Shining Trapezohedron . . . send it through the horrible abysses of radiance. . . . ~ H.P. Lovecraft

Tennis was a game invented by a woman named Samantha Tennis in 1839, in the village of Lobsworth, County of Kent, as a diversion for the wealthy and titled Englishmen of the region, who had nothing better to do at the time but drink, belch and wear funny clothes. ~ Dan Jenkins

Or rather, he was sad because that morning he'd understood that he'd understood nothing, because while he still understood nothing he wasn't sad at all, but now that he'd understood that he'd understood nothing he felt sad, if you follow. ~ Francois Lelord

Set an intention to heal any unexpressed anger that may be present in your life. Go to a quiet place with pen and paper. Take a few deep breaths. Ask your anger to speak to you. Write down the thoughts and feelings. When you are finished, forgive yourself for holding on to the anger for so long. ~ Iyanla Vanzant

I went to college at the University of Kansas, where I got a degree in political science. ~ Sara Paretsky

I like things that are funny - in everyday conversation, in incidents that you see, in watching TV or watching film. Comedy has always had an impact on my life. ~ Patrick Stewart

Good action and thoughts produce consequences which tend to neutralize, or put a stop to, the result of evil thoughts and actions. For as we give up the life of self (and note that, like forgiveness, repentance and humility are also special cases of giving), as we abandon what the German mystics called "the I, me, mine," we make ourselves progressively capable of receiving grace. By grace we are enabled to know reality more completely, and this knowledge of reality helps us to give up more of the life of selfhood - and so on, in a mounting spiral of illumination and regeneration. ~ Aldous Huxley

Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really. ~ Dave Barry

This is a real problem when you yourself recognize that your worry is based on an "irrational" fear. "I know it doesn't make any sense," people say. "That's what really bothers me about these thoughts. ~ David A. Carbonell

Time is of no account with great thoughts. They are as fresh today as when they first passed through their author's minds, ages ago. ~ Samuel Smiles

Thoughts, words, ideas and information, free from any bonds or restrictions, is the very concrete which pours out a foundation strong enough that upon which a house, stable and lasting, of true freedom and liberty may be built. ~ Derek R. Audette

I think it's so funny when people think they can't control a movie star. They can. We're just women, you know. ~ Esther Williams

To die famous is the goal of the immortal. To die young is the goal of the healthy. To die memorably is the goal of the survivor. ~ Bauvard