Murphys Law Quotes

An expert is the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most. ~ Arthur Bloch

The longer the title, the less important the job. ~ George McGovern

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. ~ Steven Wright

The usefulness of any meeting is inversely proportional to the size of the group. ~ Lane Kirkland

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong ~ Murphy's Law

When all else fails, read the instructions. ~ Agnes Allen

When you're kind to people, and you pay attention, you make a field of comfort around them, and you get it back - the Golden Rule meets the Law of Karma meets Murphy's Law. ~ Anne Lamott

Murphy's Law; When someone says 'It's not the money, it's the principle,' nine times out of ten, it's the money. ~ Mitchell Symons

Murphy's Law, that brash proletarian restatement of Godel's Theorem ... ~ Thomas Pynchon

You may have had a thousand bad breaks, but don't use that as an excuse to be negative. One good break can make up for all the bad breaks. One touch of God's favor can catapult you further than you ever imagined. You may feel like you're getting behind. You're not where you thought you would be in life. Don't worry; God knows how to make up for lost time. He knows how to accelerate things.
Now you've got to do your part. Shake off a negative mentality. Shake off pessimism, discouragement, and self-pity. Get your fire back. Life is passing you by. You don't have time to waste being negative. You have a destiny to fulfill. You have an assignment to accomplish. What's in your future is greater than anything you've seen in your past. We need to get rid of Murphy's Law and live by just the opposite. Your attitude should be: "If anything can go right today, it will go right and happen to me at the best time. Nothing will be as difficult as it looks. Nothing will take as long as it seems."
Why? You are highly favored. Almighty God is breathing in your direction. You've been anointed, equipped, and empowered.
Some may claim I'm just getting hopes up, and trying to get people to be more positive. It's true, and here's why: God is a positive God. There is nothing negative about Him. If you're negative, sour, or pessimistic, you're going against the flow of God.
When we fly from Houston to Los Angeles, it always takes thirty minutes longer to get there than it does ~ Joel Osteen

Murphy's law inverted: What can go right, will go right. (Works if you're an optimist.) ~ Saloma Miller Furlong

The expert knows more and more about less and less until he knows everything about nothing. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

You can't fall off the floor. ~ Paul The Apostle

It's a corollary to Murphy's law. If you're not prepared, bad things will happen. If you are, nothing goes wrong. ~ Cherise Sinclair

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~ Erma Bombeck

The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet. ~ Murphy's Law

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. ~ C. Northcote Parkinson

Government expands to absorb revenue - and then some. ~ Tom Wicker

[On social climbing:] Everything that goes up must come down. ~ Maxine Cheshire

Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry. ~ George Ade

Muphry's Law: "If you write anything criticising editing or proofreading, there will be a fault of some kind in what you have written. ~ Mary Norris

I want to beat up Michael Fassbender in a movie. I was with him at the beginning of his career when he did an episode of 'Murphy's Law.' He's a proper superstar and enormously talented, but I want to do a scene where I properly duff him up. ~ James Nesbitt

There are no answers, only cross references ~ Norbert Wiener

An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance ~ David Lee Roth

Everything was a constant battle. My first film was beautiful. I got an amazing cast. That worked out great. Everything else was like murphy's law. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. ~ Katie Aselton

Strap a piece of toast -buttered side up- to the back of a cat. Throw the cat out of the window.
Will the cat land on its feet or will Murphy's law apply? ~ Alan Fletcher

"Murphys law of economic policy": Economists have the least influence on policy where they know the most and are most agreed; they have the most influence on policy where they know the least and disagree most vehemently. ~ Alan Blinder

It must be remembered that there is nothing more difficult to plan, more doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to manage than a new system. For the initiator has the enmity of all who would profit by the preservation of the old institution and merely lukewarm defenders in those who gain by the new ones. ~ Niccolo Machiavelli

We need rules when we are young but once they are instilled we can have sensible leeway ~ Frank Healy

From a mathematical point of view, however, trust is hard to quantify. That's a challenge for people building models. Sadly, it's far easier to keep counting arrests, to build models that assume we're birds of a feather and treat us as such. Innocent people surrounded by criminals get treated badly, and criminals surrounded by law-abiding public get a pass. And because of the strong correlation between poverty and reported crime, the poor continue to get caught up in the digital dragnets. The rest of us barely have to think about them. ~ Cathy O'Neil

What narrow innocence it is for one to be good only according to the law. ~ Seneca The Younger

Just as the common law derives from ancient precedents - judges' decisions - rather than statutes, baseball's codes are the game's distilled mores. Their unchanged purpose is to show respect for opponents and the game. In baseball, as in the remainder of life, the most important rules are unwritten. But not unenforced. ~ George Will

I busted him and he busted me. That's fair ain't it?
No, I ain't forgettin about jail. You think because he arrested me that thows it off again I reckon? I don't. It's his job. It's what he gets paid for. To arrest people that break the law. And I didn't jest break the law, I made a livin at it. More money in three hours than any workin man makes in a week. Why is that? Because it's harder work? No, because a man who makes a livin doin somethin that has to get him in jail sooner or later has to be paid for the jail, has to be paid in advance not jest for his time breakin the law but for the time he has to build when he gets caught at it. So I been paid. Gifford's been paid. Nobody owes nobody. If it wadn't for Gifford, the law, I wouldn't of had the job I had blockadin and if it wadn't for me blockadin, Gifford wouldn't of had his job arrestin blockaders. Now who owes who? ~ Cormac McCarthy

You can have no wise laws nor free enforcement of wise laws unless there is free expression of the wisdom of the people
and, alas, their folly with it. But if there is freedom, folly will die of its own poison, and the wisdom will survive. ~ William Allen White

It is the way you feel that is your point of attraction. ~ Esther Hicks

I'm glad there are organizations like Dale Murphy's I Won't Cheat Foundation. I'm glad there are athletes with standards and morals who kids can look up to and learn from. I'm glad that for every bad example my nephew sees today on ESPN that I can share with him stories about truly heroic ballplayers like Cal Ripken, Jr. or Dale Murphy or Kirby Puckett. ~ Tucker Elliot

In the stories of faith I grew up with, men were allowed a full range of emotion: King David, who calls on God to destroy his enemies. Absalom rising up against his father the king. Jonah stewing under his tree, looking out on the city God saved but he hates. Job crying out to God for his miserable fate.

But the rage of good women in the Bible is all in the subtext. Nowhere is there an Eve angry for being removed from Eden and the loss of her two sons. Where is Esther, where is her horror and pain watching the genocide of her people? Or Ruth, who followed her miserable mother-in-law to a foreign land and had to listen to that lady bitching as if she felt nothing?

The women allowed to have feelings in the Bible are always the villains. Michal sneering at David that he ought to put his clothes on and stop dancing like a naked fool. She is indicted for her words, but hadn't she just been married, abandoned, and then taken back by this man? Used as a political pawn, then ignored for Bathsheba. Then there is Sarah, who beat her maidservant Hagar, blaming her for what should have rightly fallen on the shoulders of Abraham. And Job's wife, who Biblical scholars condemn for telling her husband to curse God and die. But wasn't she just wishing him a swift end to the suffering that they had walked through hand in hand? ~ Lyz Lenz

You are the Creator of your reality ... you were granted this ability. You have free will ... you are an unlimited aspect, a portion of God ... of the Creator ... of All That Is. ~ Darryl Anka

I figured my wife was about to start law school. If that whole baseball pitching thing didn't work out, I had something to fall back on. I figure I'd put a ring on her finger. Turns out she was the smart one. Turns out she was the gold digger, not me. ~ Tim Hudson

I got into law school to supplement my business background. I'm not planning to practice law. ~ Shannon Miller

We say that we are rulers of this country, but we do not make a rule of law. We say that we command these people, but we do not lead them to peace or prosperity. We,their own lords, quarrel among ourselves, and bring death to their door, as if our opinions and thoughts and dreams are worth far more than their safety and health and children. ~ Philippa Gregory

How does ANY male-identified person know he is a man? And does my answer really diverge greatly from how many men, trans or cisgender, would answer?

Transgender people are often said to have a 'narrative' to their lives; we're encouraged to see our journey toward recognizing our gender as a story with an articulable pattern. The truth is, though, that everyone's gender is a story; it's just that trans folks are more likely to be - perhaps I could say "are given the gift of having to be" - aware of it.

The story of becoming a man, a woman, or a person of any other gender often follows aspects of that most instinctual of story arcs: the hero's journey. For instance, my personal narrative was one of effort in seeking a transformative goal (a quest), assistance (tools provided by medicine, law, and intangible emotional support), and mentorship by those who went before me (guides). And my manhood was ultimately achieved through what could be considered rites of passage - which is to say a similar structure to communal cultural tales of how one achieves cisgender manhood. It's simply some details that vary.

I do see one key difference in how all this plays out, however: Trans men make this invisible process disconcertingly visible by flipping the variables. While a cisgender man may be born with certain inherent potentials to physically embody a manhood that others will acknowledge socially, he's not necessarily imbued with the demanding dri ~ Mitch Ellis

People can only perceive you through their own vibration, not through your vibration. Your vibration certainly influences theirs, though they are the primary creators of their reality and they perceive an aspect of you into existence that is unique to their reality. Any energy spent worrying about what other people think about you is wasted energy due to all the simultaneous, co-existing realities which you have no control over. What you do have control over are your thoughts and your own vibration. And through this control, you can train your mind to create the most uplifting reality possible. When you do so, the people not in vibrational alignment with your reality will either unconsciously raise their vibration to meet you or simply fall away because they no longer match the vibration necessary to exist in your deliberately created reality. ~ Alaric Hutchinson

No," the Boss (Willie) corrected, "I'm not a lawyer. I know some law. In fact, I know a lot of law. And I made me some money out of law. That's why I can see what the law is like. It's like a single-bed blanket on a double bed and three folks in the bed and a cold night. There ain't ever enough blanket to cover the case, no matter how much pulling and hauling, and somebody is always going to nigh catch pneumonia. Hell, the law is like the pants you bought last year for a growing boy, but it is always this year and the seams are popped and the shankbone's to the breeze. The law is too short and too tight for growing humankind. The best you can do is do something and then make up some law to fit and by the time that law gets onto the books you would have done something different ... " Willie Stark; All the King's Men ~ Robert Penn Warren

Hindu mythology makes constant references to queerness, the idea that questions notions of maleness and femaleness. There are stories of men who become women, and women who become men, of men who create children without women, and women who create children without men, and of creatures who are neither this, nor that, but a little bit of both, like the makara (a combination of fish and elephant) or the yali (a combination of lion and elephant). There are also many words in Sanskrit, Prakrit and Tamil such as kliba, napumsaka, mukhabhaga, sanda, panda, pandaka, pedi that suggest a long familiarity with queer thought and behaviour. It is common to either deny the existence of such fluidity in our stories, or simply locate them in the realm of the supernatural or point to law books that, besides endorsing patriarchy and casteism, also frown upon queer behaviour. Yet the stories are repeatedly told and shown. Gentle attempts, perhaps, of wise sages to open up stubborn finite minds and lead them towards infinity ~ Devdutt Pattanaik

The Bible is filled with verses on the importance of community. Hebrews 10:25 says, "Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another" (NIV 1984). Galatians 6:2 says, "By helping each other with your troubles, you truly obey the law of Christ" (NCV). ~ Rick Warren

The instruments you have are the right instruments for you, because you've been shaped by them. That's another law. ~ Gene Wolfe

You experience two kinds of guilt. One is the reality of your culpability before God. You have transgressed his law - you are guilty. The other is the sense of your corruption. You feel guilty. The first kind of guilt is true of you because everyone is a sinner. But not everyone knows the second kind. Until a person knows his guilt, he cannot know pardon. Until you feel the bondage of your guilt, you cannot find the freedom of forgiveness. In this sense, guilt is not your enemy. ~ Joe Thorn

Drone attacks subvert the rule of law - we become judge, jury, and executioner - at the push of a button. ~ Mark McKinnon

The next week she withheld my paycheck until I signed a document (drafted by David) in which I promised not to marry Connor. Ever. I signed the document, took the check, and had David draft another document forbidding all Spellmans to practice any form of blackmail. David tried to explain to me that a contract in which you promise not to break the law is ultimately redundant, but I didn't care. ~ Lisa Lutz

Social and cultural change, however desirable, should not be effected by the engines of national power. Let us, through persuasion and education, seek to improve institutions we deem defective. But let us, in doing so, respect the orderly processes of the law. Any other course enthrones tyrants and dooms freedom. ~ Barry Goldwater

Every smallest step of modern industry depends upon a cooperation whose maintenance and regulation is the very stuff of law. ~ Learned Hand

No society can exist if respect for the law does not to some extent prevail; but the surest way to have the laws respected is to make them respectable. When law and morality are in contradiction, the citizen finds himself in the cruel dilemma of either losing his moral sense or of losing respect for the law, two evils of which one is as great as the other, and between which it is difficult to choose. ~ Frederic Bastiat

Have patience, Margaret, and trouble not thyself. Death comes for us all; even at our birth - death does but stand aside a little. And every day he looks towards us and muses somewhat to himself whether that day or the next he will draw nigh. It is the law of nature and the will of God. ~ Robert Bolt

This is the first lesson ye should learn: There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, it doesn't behoove any of us to speak evil of the rest of us. This is a universal law, and until one begins to make application of same, one may not go very far in spiritual or soul development. ~ Edgar Cayce

To a traveler paying his first visit, [San Francisco] has the interest of a new planet. It ignores the meteorological laws which govern the rest of the world. ~ Fitz Hugh Ludlow

I'm happiest at home hanging out with the kids ... Having a family has been my saving grace because I don't work back to back on anything or I'd drive myself to an early grave with guilt and worry for my family, whom I'd never see. ~ Jude Law

Nothing can come into your experience unless you summon it through persistent thoughts. ~ Rhonda Byrne

Phaethon asked: "Do you think there is something wrong with the Sophotechs? We are Manorials, father! We let Rhadamanthus control our finances and property, umpire our disputes, teach our children, design our thoughtscapes, and even play matchmaker to find us wives and husbands!"

"Son, the Sophotechs may be sufficient to advise the Parliament on laws and rules. Laws are a matter of logic and common sense. Specially designed human-thinking versions, like Rhadamanthus, can tell us how to fulfill our desires and balance our account books. Those are questions of strategy, of efficient allocation of resources and time. But the Sophotechs, they cannot choose our desires for us. They cannot guide our culture, our values, our tastes. That is a question of the spirit."

"Then what would you have us do? Would you change our laws?"

"Our mores, not our laws. There are many things which are repugnant, deadly to the spirit, and self-destructive, but which law should not forbid. Addiction, self-delusion, self-destruction, slander, perversion, love of ugliness. How can we discourage such things without the use of force? It was in response to this need that the College of Hortators evolved. Peacefully, by means of boycotts, public protests, denouncements, and shunnings, our society can maintain her sanity against the dangers to our spirit, to our humanity, to which such unboundried liberty, and such potent technology, exposes us."

(...) But Phaethon ~ John C. Wright

Moral values, and a culture and a religion, maintaining these values are far better than laws and regulations. ~ Swami Sivananda

When you have done men favors, when you look out for others so they can prosper, they owe you. With each favor, you become stronger, more supported. It is a law of nature." "Yes? ~ Mark T. Sullivan

The law is immoral. ~ Mark Thomas

Through the infinite Atonement, God has provided a means whereby we can both overcome our sins and become completely clean again. This is made possible by the eternal law of mercy. Mercy satisfies the claims of justice through our repentance and the power of the Atonement. Without the power of the Atonement and our complete repentance, we are subject to the law of justice. ~ Earl C. Tingey

When I was a vocalist, a lead singer in a rock band, I was a law student at the time. It wasn't a professional rock band, it was for fun. I was already way out of that by the time Phantom came along. Having to learn to sing, it was such duress, having to really try and get to such a quality. ~ Gerard Butler

Every day things happen in the world that cannot be explained by any law of things we know. Every day they're mentioned and forgotten, and the same mystery that brought them takes them away, transforming their secret into oblivion. Such is the law by which things that can't be explained must be forgotten. The visible world goes on as usual in the broad daylight. Otherness watches us from the shadows. ~ Fernando Pessoa

Some will object that the Law is divine and holy. Let it be divine and holy. The Law has no right to tell me that I must be justified by it. ~ Martin Luther

It is essential to the idea of a law, that it be attended with a sanction; or, in other words, a penalty or punishment for disobedience. If there be no penalty annexed to disobedience, the resolutions or commands which pretend to be laws will, in fact, amount to nothing more than advice or recommendation. This penalty, whatever it may be, can only be inflicted in two ways: by the agency of the Courts and Ministers of Justice, or by military force; by the coercion of the magistracy, or by the coercion of arms. The first kind can evidently apply only to men: the last kind must, of necessity, be employed against bodies politic, or communities, or States. ~ Alexander Hamilton

I thought grandmothers had to like you. It's a law or something. ~ Mary E. Pearson

Love works no ill to his neighbor: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law. Romans 13:10 ~ Anonymous