Humor Thought Quotes

A king may rule the kingdom but the queen still moves the board. ~ Donna Marie Timney

Thinking is the most overrated human activity. ~ Wendell Berry

Humor bridges the weight of serious reflection. ~ Lorin Morgan-Richards

Normal people can become very annoying if put in annoying situations. ~ Jessica Park

I have been quiet today because fear in my heart has been fighting with frustration in my brain, leaving little energy for my mouth. ~ Camron Wright

Take a strict view of their excrements, and, from the colour, the odour, the taste, the consistence, the crudeness or maturity of digestion, form a judgment of their thoughts and designs; because men are never so serious, thoughtful, and intent, as when they are at stool ... ~ Jonathan Swift

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. ~ Steven Wright

Oh the wonders of being married. Put a gun in one hand and a woman in the other, I'm never sure who's going to kill me first. ~ Michael W. Grimard

Got nothing to do with us," I said. "I'm working on a case. You're my trusty sidekick." "Long as I don't have to call you Kemo Sabe." "Ever wonder what that meant?" I said. "I always thought it meant Paleface Motherfucker," Hawk said. "That's probably it," I said. ~ Robert B. Parker

You answered… don't hang up" he doesn't speak for a second so I take the time to correct him, "Hi Sorry, this is Eden… Ryan's just a bit preoccupied right now" and then I realise what that must sound like "NOT LIKE THAT, his busy with his brother" I rush out before I can think of what I'm saying "OH MY GOD, not like that either ~ Sarah Clay

I wrote a comedy, which hopefully [Rick director] Curtiss Clayton will bring to the screen, that I thought was the antithesis of all my work. I thought it was light and sunshiny, and Mr. Clayton reminded me that it is the story of a woman kidnapped and forced to do things against her will, which is not what most people think of as light and sunshiny. ~ Daniel Handler

At one point when I was very young, when I was first starting out, I thought, 'Well, one day I'll be able to put all the music away and become a real comedian.' But then I realized there are amazing musical comedians out there, that musical comedy is probably something I'll always want to pursue. ~ Bo Burnham

I never looked at myself as the fat sister. Sometimes I would beat people to the punch and say, 'Oh I'm the fat, funny one,' because that's what people would say about me. But I never really thought that. ~ Khloe Kardashian

You can find humor in everything. everything. ~ Krishna Sagar

A great irony of sleep is that, while it is meant to revitalize, one is never really at the controls of the dreams it broadcasts to oneself. Sleep is the ultimate proof of man, not as a dreamer, but as a gambler. ~ Prateek Goorha

We can fly!
"We can become butterflies!
"There's nothing at the top
and it doesn't matter!"
As he heard his own
message he realized how
he had misread the instinct
to get high.
To get to the "top" he
must fly, not climb. ~ Trina Paulus

Bob Dylan may be the Charlie Chaplin of rock n' roll. Both men are regarded as geniuses by their entire audience. Both were proclaimed revolutionaries for their early work and subjected to exhaustive attack when later works were thought to be inferior. Both developed their art without so much as a nodding glance toward their peers. ~ Jon Landau

Life is bearable even when it's unbearable: that is what's so terrible, that is the unbearable thing about it. ~ Geoff Dyer

I always thought what you wore underneath was as important as what you wear on top. ~ Donna Karan

You're a gentleman," they used to say to him. "You shouldn't have gone murdering people with a hatchet; that's no occupation for a gentleman. ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky

If this was the afterlife, he thought, it was a lot like the House on the Rock: part diorama, part nightmare. ~ Neil Gaiman

Trying to get a handle on what he thought, what he felt, what he thought about what he felt and vice versa, was like trying to open a locked door by ramming it with his head. ~ Laura Ruby

Here's my heart Shaw. You have it in your hands and I promise you're the first and last person to ever touch it. You need to be careful with it because it's far more fragile than I ever thought and if you try and give it back I'm not taking it. I don't know enough about love to know for sure that's what this between us is, but I know that for me it's you and only you from here on out and I can only promise to be careful and not push you away again. Life without you in it is doable, but if I have a choice I want to do it with you by my side and I'm telling you I'm not running away from the work it takes to make that happen. Shaw I'm not scared of us anymore. ~ Jay Crownover

And what is your job, your grace?" Nera toyed with him.
The king scowled at her tone.
"To rule this pile of rocks and keep you immortals happy," Ryzthar shouted at the stone. "A fuxing impossible task. ~ Jack Chaucer

So we got you out. We thought you might be useful in keeping her on our side."
"I also wanted to help you," Jorek supplied.
"Yeah, you're a hero. Noted," Teka said. ~ Veronica Roth

No other formula gives your baby a better start in life except that stuff that comes out of you for free. ~ Tina Fey

I always thought it would be really, really cool to play Edgar Allan Poe, because when I was a kid, he was one of the authors who really blew my mind open to all sorts of weird dark and twisted places. ~ Ezra Miller

John, I'll be blunt. You truly cannot afford the luxury of even one negative thought. ~ Robin S. Sharma

Richard didn't even have time to ask if I thought I'd ever amount to anything in this life before I looked him eye to eye and said, I already have, mister. ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

We'd thought the same, once. We'd deceived ourselves into thinking we were the masters, that every force bowed to our command. And what happened? They destroyed everything!'
'I don't-'
'Understand! I see that! They are conjurations - manifestations - they exist to warn you. They are the proof that all that you think to enslave will turn on you.' And it backed away. 'The end begins again, it begins again.'
Cotillion stepped forward. 'Light, Dark and Shadow - these three - are you saying-'
'Three?' Tulas Shorn laughed with savage bitterness. 'What then of Life? Fire and Stone and Wind? What, you fools, of the Hounds of Death? Manifestations, I said. They will turn - they are telling you that! That is why they exist! The fangs, the fury - all that is implacable in nature - each aspect but a variation, a hue in the maelstrom of destruction! ~ Steven Erikson

They love the country, and none else, who seek
For their own sake its silence and its shade.
Delights which who would leave, that has a heart
Susceptible of pity, or a mind
Cultured and capable of sober thought. ~ William Cowper

She was a passionate reader, and she thought that reading was one of the noblest efforts of all; in contrast, she found writing to be a great waste of time - a childish self-indulgence, even messier than finger painting - but she admired reading, which she believed was an unselfish activity that provided information and inspiration. She must have thought it a pity that some poor fools had to waste their lives writing in order for us to have sufficient reading material. (page 236) ~ John Irving

Law is justice. In this proposition a simple and enduring government can be conceived. And I defy anyone to say how even the thought of revolution, of insurrection, of the slightest uprising could arise against a government whose organized force was confined only to suppressing injustice. ~ Frederic Bastiat

Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away ~ Benjamin Franklin

Danny shook his head, amusement relaxing the tense line of his mouth. 'Is that all you think about?'
'No! Sometimes I think about food. And beer. The color cyan. I'm a complex and multilayered flower, Danny. ~ Louisa Edwards

There is a scientific explanation of healings by the power of Mind over matter which demonstrates that such healings are not miracles, but are within Nature's law which cannot be transcended by either man or God. The Fact that they were beyond man's comprehension did not prove that they were supernatural - for an airplane or radio would have been thought supernatural to dwellers in places far removed even one generation ago. ~ Walter Russell

Late one night, during a toss-and-turn fretful sleep, I pondered my crisis. No solutions were on the horizon. I, again, wasted my psychic energy with prayer. Nothing. No angel on a white cloud. No rainbow's pot of gold. No way to control the people I loved. As I rolled over and put the pillow over my head attempting to block all that was negative, I silently screamed for rescue. Then, in a far away and distinct part of my brain, a small voice said, "You have to do this on your own."

I thought, "Was that the best You can do?" This god, to whom I was desperately sending burnt offerings of my own humiliation, couldn't send an avenging angel or a wise man imparting wisdom? All You can give me is this feeble message of abandonment? At that moment, I quit believing in that god. ~ David W. Earle

Apparently profanity had a way of making men listen. ~ Megan Shepherd

If you have ever slept in a covered casserole dish on the highest peak of a mountain range, then you know that it is an uncomfortable place to lay one's head, even if you find a dish towel inside it that can serve as a blanket. ~ Lemony Snicket

That's how a storm with such power happens; you sense the build and darkness, you prepare as best you can, you do what you can to get through it even as it devastates your entire world. Whatever you do, however much you brace yourself, you will still be caught up in forces that you cannot control. So the question is how to navigate through the chaos. It takes thought, and trust, and serenity. ~ Jessica Park

The power of thought is the magic of the mind. ~ George Gordon Byron

Love people who hate you and their hatred won't get grounds to gain roots. ~ Israelmore Ayivor

A Goddess Adventure represents a combination of heart, head, and soul work ~ Paula Weisflock

A man is always devoted to something more tangible than a woman - the idea of her. ~ Bauvard

The hills and mountains on your ways are going to be removed. But remember that's what should happen when God gives you the shovel. Use your gifts; it's the escape route! ~ Israelmore Ayivor

I'm going to make the wildly unfounded assumption that Satara's dead by your hand and not Tory's. Now, stay with me on this, Cajun. My father slit my throat and murdered my wife because he thought I'd betrayed him by getting married. Before that, he loved me more than his life and I was his last surviving child. His second in command. Now what do you think he's going to do to you once he sees her body? I can assure you, it won't be a fun-filled trip to Chuck E. Cheese. (Urian) ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

All people, all possible permutations of good, evil, thought, passion. The lamps are different, But the Light is the same. ~ Rumi