Disney Vacation Funny Quotes

I think people like him think work is supposed to be drudgery punctuated by very occasional moments of happiness, but when I say happiness, I mostly mean distraction. You know what I mean?"
"No, please elaborate."
"Okay, say you go into the break room," she said, "and a couple people you like are there, say someone's telling
a funny story, you laugh a little, you feel included, everyone's so funny, you go back to your desk with a sort of,
I don't know, I guess afterglow would be the word? You go back to your desk with an afterglow, but then by four or
five o'clock the day's just turned into yet another day, and you go on like that, looking forward to five o'clock and
then the weekend and then your two or three annual weeks of paid vacation time, day in day out, and that's what happens to your life."
"Right," Clark said. He was filled in that moment with an inexpressible longing. The previous day he'd gone into the break room and spent
five minutes laughing at a colleague's impression of a Daily Show bit.
"That's what passes for a life, I should say. That's what passes for
happiness, for most people. Guys like Dan, they're like sleepwalkers," she said, "and nothing ever jolts them awake. ~ Emily St. John Mandel

I just love carbs. And when I'm on vacation I definitely allow myself carbs, so it's always funny when people are like, 'Oh my gosh, you look great in your bikini.' I'm like, 'If you only knew what I had for breakfast!' ~ Ashley Tisdale

If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life. ~ Tommy Lasorda

I told my wife that since we have a little one on the way, maybe when he gets old enough, instead of just taking a vacation to the beach or Disney World or something like that, we go and do something that actually has an impact on other people. That would be neat for him to experience and for us to do as a family. ~ Phil Humber

'Seanan McGuire' is my real name; if I'm being silly and third-person about it, she's a frequently cranky, foul-mouthed Disney Princess on vacation in the real world, where she studies diseases, cuddles reptiles, watches lots of horror movies, and goes to as many corn fields as possible. ~ Seanan McGuire

What is Hell like?" I blurted out before I could stop myself. Damn my curiosity.
"You've never been there?" He eyed me suspiciously. Yeah, I went to Hell every summer for vacation. ~ Alycia Linwood

Disney World?" Ari felt like his head was about to explode. "Disney World?" His gravelly voice rose into a harsh shriek. "They're not on vacation! They're on the run! They're running for their lives! Death is following them like a bullet, and they're on the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad? ~ James Patterson

Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony. ~ Johnny Carson

If you were anyone else, your nuts would be taking a long vacation, and the destination would be out of your mouth ~ J.A. Saare

High school is neither a democracy nor a dictatorship - nor, contrary to popular belief, an anarchic state. High school is a divine-right monarchy. And when the queen goes on vacation, things change. ~ John Green

A good vacation is over when you begin to yearn for your work. ~ Morris Fishbein

I thought "RV" stood for "Recreational Vehicle." No! It stands for "Ruins Vacations." ~ Bill Engvall

There's a lot of people who, a cigarette is about the only vacation they have. ~ Trey Parker

You either trust me or you don't. I've never let you down, and I won't walk away unless you make me. Period. Now, unless you have a real emergency, I'd like to get back to my vacation. And my corpse, thanks. ~ Jeaniene Frost

Class?" I asked in surprise. "Today?"
"This isn't a spa vacation, Tiger Lily. Just be glad it's History of Wormwood and not conditioning."
"Conditioning?"
"Hope you've got a bottle of Icy Hot in there. ~ Christine Manzari

For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have. ~ Woody Allen

Oh, shimmer down, Hunter. You're too testy. How many times have I've told you that you need to chill out, take a vacay. Disney World is really fun this time of the year. you should check it out. ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

Too much work, and no vacation, Deserves at least a small libation. So hail! my friends, and raise your glasses, Work's the curse of the drinking classes. ~ Oscar Wilde

It's official," he declared to no one in particular. "This is the worst vacation ever. ~ Cassandra Clare

I've never understood America,"said the king.
"Neither do we, sir. You might say we have two governments, kind of overlapping. First we have the elected government. It's Democratic or Republican, doesn't make much difference, and then there's corporation government."
"They get along together, these governments?"
"Sometimes," said Tod. "I don't understand it myself. You see, the elected government pretends to be democratic, and actually it is autocratic. The corporation governments pretend to be autocratic and they're all the time accusing the others of socialism. They hate socialism."
"So I have heard," said Pippin.
"Well, here's the funny thing, sir. You take a big corporation in America, say like General Motors or Du Pont or U.S. Steel. The thing they're most afraid of is socialism, and at the same time they themselves are socialist states."
The king sat bolt upright. "Please?" he said.
"Well, just look at it, sir. They've got medical care for employees and their families and accident insurance and retirement pensions, paid vacations -- even vacation places -- and they're beginning to get guaranteed pay over the year. The employees have representation in pretty nearly everything, even the color they paint the factories. As a matter of fact, they've got socialism that makes the USSR look silly. Our corporations make the U.S. Government seem like an absolute monarchy. Why, if the U.S. government tried to do one-tenth of what General Motors d ~ John Steinbeck

If law school is so hard to get through ... how come there are so many lawyers? ~ Calvin Trillin

Charles Darwin wrote a famous book in 18 gibberish. And that book was an interesting book, cuz it was called "Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-You" ~ Eddie Izzard

I do not believe in any religion, I will have nothing to do with immortality. We are miserable enough in this life without speculating upon another. ~ George Gordon Byron

Wow," she said. "Do you realise how wonderful you sound?"
"Yes, I do," he said with a firm nod. "And I think I'm underappreciated. ~ Robyn Carr

She brought me closer to God than ten
summers of Vacation Bible School. ~ LaToya Hankins

My calculations - allowing for a 12 percent margin of error, based on the radius of the corresponding confidence interval and the surgeon general's warning - concluded that they probably didn't stay behind for the tacos. ~ Darynda Jones

A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey. ~ Dolly Parton

Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why you get a seven-month-old getting a pat down. [Imitates a security officer.] "Check the diapers. They're full." ~ Robin Williams

If I had been born in the 1700's, presumably children had a bigger vocabulary than I had which means I wouldn't have been able to recite fairy tales to kids because I'm not smart enough.

You know…?

I'd have to be like…..uh:
In time passed, though not long ago, there lived three pigs in stature, little in number, three, who being of an age both entitled and inspired to seek their fortune did set about to do thusly.
When they had traveled a distance, pig numbered first spake saying, "Harken Brethren, head this impetuous realm! Tarry me far from hearth and home I fear we shall fair *snort* not well!" And so being collectively agreed, but individually impaled, the diminutive swine sought each to erect himself an abode..... ~ John Branyan

I loved Omar Vizquel. He tells some really long jokes, and he has his own way of telling them, but he can make every joke very funny. He would always come up with jokes on the loudspeaker on the bus. ~ Steve Finley

I would never do crack ... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay? ~ Denis Leary

He'd been down at the Cass County Library, reading...Win danced a jig he thought that was so funny...about this cat Henry David Thoreau, which he pronounced Toe-Row. He read about his life and read some of his writings and this cat really had his shit together...Toe-Row knew better than anybody that Life is a Big Fat Asshole with everybody trying to Stick It To You when they get half the chance. ~ Joe Eszterhas

I'm no Alice, you're just predictable. ~ Stephenie Meyer

I never leave my house. Then I don't have to put a bra on, and I don't have to change my pants. ~ Jennifer Lawrence

I watch things that are fun, or funny, or interesting. ~ Martha Plimpton

There is a certain delightful sort of hope which the introvert can receive only by having company over...the hope that they will leave soon. ~ Criss Jami

You ever talk about a movie with someone that read the book? They're always so condescending. 'Ah, the book was much better than the movie.' Oh really? What I enjoyed about the movie: no reading. ~ Jim Gaffigan

She goes to Frederick's of Hollywood at the mall and purchases an explicit lingerie outfit so sheer that you could read an appliance warranty through it in an unlit closet. ~ Dave Barry

If you believe, as I do believe, in reincarnation, they say that every time you come back, it's because you have to finish something. I've a funny feeling that my thing in this life is to have one relationship after another. ~ Marie Helvin

I like children - fried. ~ W.C. Fields

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy. ~ Johnny Carson

I can never be perfectly certain whether Helen was got with child by Leonard Bast or by his fatal forgotten umbrella. All things considered, I think it must have been the umbrella. ~ Katherine Mansfield

We ate all of this in front of Tack's huge, flat-screen TV in the living room where I was treated to a marathon of Storage Wars. Seeing as I didn't watch TV, I'd never heard of this program. But by the second episode I was hooked. I declared that I thought Brandi and Jarrod were "adorable" together, which for some reason he didn't explain made Rush laugh so hard I thought he would bust a gut. Rush might find that funny but I decided I was going to start dressing like Brandi. She always looked the shit. I also shared that Dave was my favorite "character" to which Tabby told me with grave seriousness, "But, Tyra, he's the bad guy. ~ Kristen Ashley

YOU WILL DRINK THE COFFEE UNTIL I CAN SEE MY FACE IN THE BOTTOM OF THE CUP!" I did not mean to roar. "But it's a clay cup." "I DO NOT CARE!" He finished the coffee. "You did not have to finish it," I said, because I could perceive that he was rebuilding the Great Wall of China with shit bricks. ~ Jonathan Safran Foer

I think I have an inner confidence that my tastes are pretty simple, that what I find funny finds a wide audience. I'm not particularly intellectual or clever or minority-focused in my creative instincts. And I'm certainly not aware of suppressing more sophisticated ambitions. ~ Rowan Atkinson

I looked anxiously around me: the present, nothing but the present. Furniture light and solid, rooted in its present, a table, a bed, a closet with a mirror-and me. the true nature of the present revealed itself: it was what exists, and all that was not present did not exist. The past did not exist. Not at all. Not in things, not even in my thoughts. It is true that I had realized a long time ago that mine had escaped me. But until then I had believed that it had simply gone out of my range. For me the past was only a pensioning off: it was another way of existing, a state of vacation and inaction; each event, when it had played its part, put itself politely into a box and became an honorary event: we have so much difficulty imagining nothingness. Now I knew: things are entirely what they appear to be-and behind them ... there is nothing. ~ Jean-Paul Sartre

Jack Lemmon is my best friend and he's a very wonderful actor. A very talented, very funny man. A lovely man. We're like brothers! We are gifts to each other. He's such a fun personality. There will only ever be one Jack Lemmon. ~ Tony Curtis

Sage," he said. "What are you wearing?"
I sighed and stared down at the dress. "I know. It's red. Don't start. I'm tired of hearing about it."
"Funny," he said. "I don't think I could ever get tired of looking at it. ~ Richelle Mead