J.A. Saare Quotes

Rhiannon's Law #22. You can't lie to yourself, so don't bother trying. Doing so only multiplies your douchebag level to the umpteenth power and confirms what others have been saying for years - that you are an idiot.

If you were anyone else, your nuts would be taking a long vacation, and the destination would be out of your mouth

Listen," I sighed and reached for my plastic bottle. "I want to get this sh!t over and done. Can we strive to obtain that goal? I have a meaningless existence, and I can't put that kind of action on hold indefinitely

Allow yourself to fall. I'll catch you.

Multitask? What do I look like, a fucking secretary?" My temper flared before I could bite it back. Erica wasn't the only one with a big mouth. I was constantly in danger of writing checks my ass couldn't cash, the bearer of a lifelong disease of potty mouth that no amount of soap in this world could properly cleanse.

I arrived to work on the wrong foot. I was jumpy and agitated, constantly watching the doors. A loud fart would have sent me skyrocketing into orbit.

Don't tell me," I snickered. "You're in a club that gathers together like raving Trekkies to share secrets of the afterlife. I bet you even have an Enigma CD you crank up to get in the mood." "Don't be silly." His face lit up with an enormous grin. "We listen to Enya, not Enigma.

It was the equivalent of asking a little girl not to scream the first time she was personally introduced to
Hannah Montana.

It took years of trial and error to blossom into the fine outstanding young woman you see before you
today.

Stalking isn't cool unless you're an Edward.

Just because I'm on the lookout for an ass kicking doesn't mean I'm actively seeking one out. It's called covering all your bases.

The feature article made my holy-shit-o-meter blare like a banshee

Rule number one that all girls must learn. If you're told to lie down on the floor during a robbery or to
step inside a waiting car during a kidnapping, you're not doing yourself any favors by cooperating. You're
essentially handing the bastards a loaded gun and giving them express permission to shoot you in the head.

Rhiannon's Law #63: Fake it until you make it. You might not know what the fuck you're doing, but that doesn't mean everyone else is aware of your inaptitude. When in doubt, hold your head high and pretend you have a clue.

Rhiannon's Law #14: There is a reason the truth hurts. When you cease to feel the sting, it means you've stopped caring. And damn, wouldn't that be a total fucking waste?

Rhiannon's Law #37: Don't get so high and mighty, God will only reward that arrogance with a huge bitch slap back to reality.

I can't help it; this isn't like you at all. I know the blood exchange changes things - including mood and body chemistry - but this is beyond any kind of scientific explanation.

Fuck with the bull, assholes, and get the horns.

It is like a beautiful sunset you see once in your life, one you swear you will never forget as long as you live. And you never do forget, but you never have a reason to restore the memory - so it remains hidden inside. Until one day, for no apparent reason, you remember that sunset. You recall the way your skin felt as the sun brushed across it, the way the colors painted the sky. You wonder why it took you so long to go back to that place again, swearing you won't take so long next time. Only you do forget the memory and you may or may not ever relive it again.

Thank you, Dr. Phil, for that fine psychological assessment," I snapped and motioned my chin to Disco. "Why don't you and Oprah here go take a long walk off a short plank and do the world a favor?

You know." My voice was laced with sarcasm. "I love being reminded of just how f*cked up people find my company. One minute, I'm asked to be more loving and sweet. In fact, someone once told me it was downright adorable. But when I actually give the public what they want, they think I'm suffering from a chemical imbalance.

Rhiannon's Law #16: If it looks like a rabbit, and it hops like a rabbit, run the other way and fast. That shit is liable to tear you arm off.