Cake Funny Quotes

I love you like a fat kid love cake. ~ Curtis Jackson

TLC should stand for Toddlers, Lunatics, and Cake. ~ Natasha Leggero

And you look beautiful," she added.
"I look like a cake."
"But a beautiful cake. ~ Andrea Cremer

The maimings of love are endlessly funny.... ~ Gilbert Sorrentino

It's great to know that others can feel shy like me, too," smiled Luna, "and that I can make them laugh with my funny Moon Crater Face ~ Suzy Davies

If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be a human being, you'd be a game show host. ~ Gabriel Heatter

And Eth couldn't help looking. It's been years since he's seen a beautiful naked woman in the flesh. I'd be worried about him if he hadn't looked."
"He's a minister!"
"It was a blessed event. You sure you don't want me to hang that robe up?"
"You're making a joke out of this."
"Absolutely not. Only an insensitive jerk would think something this traumatic was funny. Tell you what. I'll go downstairs right this minute and kill him before he gets away. ~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry. ~ Josh Billings

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. ~ Dave Barry

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said. ~ Mel Brooks

I call myself the Amusement Park. That's because I'm funny and scary at the same time. ~ Terry Crews

If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you. ~ Billy Wilder

Hollywood called me, asking me, "How much to do a movie with Farrah Fawcett?" "$50,000" They called back, "How about $20,000?" I said, "I'll pay it!" ~ Henny Youngman

Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies. ~ Kristen Schaal

He's a little more ... psychotic than usual," Tom said quietly.
"How so?"
"He took C-4 to bed with him."
Prophet shrugged. "He's always done that. ~ S.E. Jakes

The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head. ~ Eoin Colfer

I got pregnant at 40 by surprise. It's funny, because when we found out we were pregnant, I said, 'Okay, let's experience that.' You just have to just go with it because it's rare. ~ Julianna Margulies

They're great girls. They're very funny, they're very smart, they're fun to be with. They're very lively, as I think people can tell. And you know, they're very confident girls. ~ Laura Bush

Who decides which defects are funny and which ones are tragic? Nobody laughs at blind people or makes iron lung jokes. ~ David Mitchell

I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they. ~ Bill Bailey

I am a vicious and unrepentant killer who should be locked up. With him, my idiot boyfriend. ~ Kylie Scott

Remove yourself, sir! ~ David McCullough

To be sitting on the bench behind somebody who only started to play when he was 30 is not funny. ~ Jens Lehmann

To his orchestra Stop da music, stop da music! You're supposed to follow da music, not chase it all over da place. ~ Jimmy Durante

Since I started making films, I've been a nut for dialogue. When I first saw Star Wars when I was 12 years old, I came home and recited all of the lines from it. Before I talked about Death Stars exploding and Tie Fighters I was talking about how funny Princess Leia was and how sarcastic Han Solo was. So to me that's always the most important thing, and I love hearing great actors say great lines. ~ Bryan Singer

When I was a kid, I used to watch 'Laurel and Hardy' with my cousins all the time. I still think they're extremely funny and so surreal. ~ David Chase

There is nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation. ~ John Ciardi

Not the first half you might have expected, even though the score might suggest that it was. ~ John Motson

What? Quinn's one of them? I just thought he was an a*shole! ~ Simon Holt

It's funny, how fast life changes. One minute you are present, and the next, you might find yourself futilely trying to get back to the world you were once part of. You might find yourself looking for people who can no longer hear you. You are in the world, but not of it. ~ Jodi Picoult

The big kid hasn't said anything yet. 'I do like hearing myself talk,' I say, 'only because I have a lot of neat things to say, but eventually the conversation will run out in, like, four or five years, and then where will we be?'
Wonder of all wonders, he cracks a little smile. I don't blame him. I am pretty funny. ~ T.J. Klune

A transposable aphorism is a malaise of the urge to be witty, or in other words, a maxim that is untroubled by the fact that the opposite of what it says is equally true so long as it appears to be funny. ~ Umberto Eco

My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way. ~ Dov Davidoff

Huh, another queen," Puck mused, an evil grin crossing his face. "Maybe we should drop in and introduce ourselves, ice-boy. Do the whole, hey, we were just in the neighborhood, and we were just wondering if you had any plans to take over the Nevernever. Have a fruit basket. ~ Julie Kagawa

Behold the Power of the peanut. His body mass may be small, but his influence is mighty. The last holdout in the Tower has officially fallen to him.
(Said by Pia about the effect her son 'peanut' had on the Sentinel Aryal) ~ Thea Harrison

Besides, if you ever did eat some bad food, I could still find a use for you. I've always wanted a cat-drawn carriage."
Cheshire opened one eye, his pupil slitted and unamused.
"I would dangle balls of yarn and fish bones out in front to keep you moving."
He stopped purring long enough to say, "You are not as cute as you think you are, Lady Pinkerton. ~ Marissa Meyer

If that is rhythm, said Lynch, let me hear what you call beauty: and, please remember, though I did eat a cake of cowdung once, that I admire only beauty. ~ James Joyce

Why can't we have racism that's ignorant but nice? You could have stereotypes that are positive about race. You could say, "Those Chinese people, they can fly!" "You know about the Puerto Ricans? They're made of candy!" ~ Louis C.K.

I have had breast implants, but it's so funny 'cause it's not a secret; I could care less. ~ Kourtney Kardashian

My ideal guy would be funny and fun to be around. ~ Miranda Cosgrove

You wouldn't believe On All Hallow Eve What lots of fun we can make, With apples to bob, And nuts on the hob, And a ring-and-thimble cake. ~ Carolyn Wells