Golf Ball Quotes

There's more tension in golf than in boxing because golfers bring it on themselves. It's silly really because it's not as if the golf ball is going to jump up and belt you on the whiskers, is it? ~ Henry Cooper

We find things where we look for them. ~ Robert Breault

Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots - but you have to play the ball where it lies. ~ Bobby Jones

I rest my elbows on my knees, watching Paco make a complete fool of himself.
Paco takes a little white golf ball and places it on top of a rubber circle inserted into the fake grass. When he swings the golf club, I wince. The club misses the ball and connects with the fake grass instead. Paco swears. The guy next to Paco takes one look at him and moves to another section.
Paco tries again. This time the club connects, but his ball only rolls along the grass in front of him. He keeps trying, but each time Paco swings, he makes a complete ass out of himself. Does he think he's hitting a hockey puck?
"You done?" I ask once he's gone through half the basket.
"Alex," Paco says, leaning on the golf club like it's a cane. "Do ya think I was meant to play golf?"
Looking Paco straight in the eye, I answer, "No."
"I heard you talkin' to Hector. I don't think you were mean to deal, either."
"Is that why we're here? You're tryin' to make a point?"
"Hear me out," Paco insists. "I've got the keys to the car in my pocket and I'm not goin' nowhere until I finish hittin' all of these bulls, so you might as well listen. I'm not smart like you. I don't have choices in life, but you, you're smart enough to go to college and be a doctor or computer geek or somethin' like that. Just like I wasn't meant to hit golf balls, you weren't meant to deal drugs. Let me do the drop for you."
"No way, man. I appreciate you makin' an ass out of yourself to prove a ~ Simone Elkeles

One travels like a golf ball, hopping from green to green. ~ John Gunther

I caddied - more accurately, I drove the golf cart - for Father O'Leary and his friends throughout most of the summer of that year. I was a good caddie because I saw nothing when they passed the bottle of whiskey and turned a deaf ear to yet another colorful reinvention of the words "motherless son of a bitch from hell" when the golf ball betrayed them. ~ John William Tuohy

I haven't looked for a golf ball since mulligans were free, which was a law I passed in 1995. ~ Dan Jenkins

Use emotional awareness and pay attention to your body - look [and locate] concrete physical sensations - like stabbing, aching, throbbing - and [distinguish and define them] by saying things like, "it is the size of a golf ball or it is the size of a baseball" - do whatever you can do to find painful physical sensations. ~ Gary Zukav

We put suffocation warnings on all the - on every piece of plastic film manufactured in the United States or for sale with an item in the United States. We put warnings on coffee cups to tell us that the contents may be hot. And we seem to think that any item sharper than a golf ball is too sharp for children under the age of 10. ~ Gever Tulley

Outside the golf course, I feel the pressure, and I feel what everybody else is feeling. But on the golf course, it's just the golf ball and clubs. And when I have that, it just puts a lot of pressure off of me. It just makes me very calm looking at it, yeah. ~ Inbee Park

Addressing a golf ball would seem to be a simple matter; that is, to the uninitiated who cannot appreciate that a golf ball can hold more terrors than a spacious auditorium packed with people. ~ Bobby Jones

Plausible that a professional pitcher with some time to practice could throw a golf ball faster than a baseball. ~ Randall Munroe

Sometimes in New York, you're walking down the street and you realize there's a girl walking in front of you whose thighs you could hit a golf ball through, and maybe that makes you depressed. ~ Sloane Crosley

I hit the ball really well ... had a lot of good looks at birdie all day, it's firm but you could control your golf ball, for sure. Today I controlled my ball very well. The confidence is definitely there. I feel really good about where I'm at and going into tomorrow. ~ Dustin Johnson

This new baseball is like a golf ball. I think there are going to be a lot more dents put in the wall at Fenway Park this year. ~ Don Zimmer

her sensor package could track a golf ball and hit it with a torpedo from half the solar system away." "Oh, ~ James S.A. Corey

A golf course can be a very risky place in the early evening for those who aren't aware of the dangers. Who knows when a golf ball might come flying out of nowhere? ~ Haruki Murakami

When I'm swinging well, nobody hits the golf ball any better than I do. ~ David Duval

You'd think a guy who has broken 35 bones in his body would have a high pain threshold, but mine is pretty low. I got hit in the shin with a golf ball once, and it almost brought tears to my eyes. I've had broken bones that didn't hurt as bad. ~ Evel Knievel

Scott goes to the computer and loads a chart that says something about global warming. Scott says, "See?" Judy says, "I don't think global warming is important, people shouldn't need to use global warming as an excuse to stop being wasteful." Scott says, "How can you not believe this?" Judy says, "There has been golf ball-sized hail storms and hurricanes for a long time, it didn't just start all of the sudden. In the movie Al Gore drives in an SUV." Scott leaves to have a cigarette. Cory says, "Al Gore owns his own farm." Judy stares at the TV. Judy thinks, "No one in this room cares about global warming, this is ridiculous, we are all smoking cigarettes and eating cheese, how can any one of us care about voting? No one in this room cares about anything. ~ Ellen Kennedy

In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day. It's either that or buy a new golf ball. ~ Gene Perret

I've never met a golfer who has never lost a golf ball. I've never met people who have fallen in love who have never had their heart broken. And I've never met someone rich who has never lost money. ~ Anonymous

If you have a golf-ball-sized consciousness, when you read a book, you'll have a golf-ball-sized understanding; when you look out a window, a golf-ball-sized awareness, when you wake up in the morning, a golf-ball-sized wakefulness; and as you go about your day, a golf-ball-sized inner happiness. But if you can expand that consciousness, make it grow, then when you read about that book, you'll have more understanding; when you look out, more awareness; when you wake up, more wakefulness; as you go about your day, more inner happiness. ~ David Lynch

I've noticed the sound of the golf ball being hit by the golf club is different, and much more realistic, with the hearing aids. The sound with the hearing aids makes sense, and better represents what I know is happening to the golf ball. So you could say that the hearing aids help give me confidence regarding my golf game. ~ Arnold Palmer

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. ~ Dave Barry

Cyclists, I work with a number of cyclists. They are great athletes; they are great aerobic athletes. If you ask them to hit a baseball or golf ball, they can't do that. ~ Eric Heiden

I think when I was about 12 or 13, my dad started taking me out to the local golf course, and that's the first time I ever hit a golf ball. I picked it up pretty quickly, just kind of monkey-see, monkey-do. But when I was 12, golf was so slow to me. For me, it was basketball, girls and music. ~ Justin Timberlake

By the time you get to your ball, if you don't know what to do with it, try another sport. ~ Julius Boros

I'm not a golf player. I think golf and fishing are the same, but at the end of the day, you can't fry up and golf ball and dip it in tartar sauce. So I'm a fisherman. ~ Daymond John

Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose. ~ Woodrow Wilson

My doctor asked me how many golf balls I had hit in my career. I'm lying there in bed calculating somewhere between four and five million golf balls I had hit to do that on my body. ~ Greg Norman

A woman in Great Britain has died after being hit in the back of the head by a golf ball, on the first hole. Her husband was so distraught, he only played the front nine. ~ Jay Leno

Jenny can still suck a golf ball through a garden hose and she guns my cock like a champ since she misplaced her false teeth! ~ Tara Sivec

Beauty is Nature in perfection; circularity is its chief attribute. Behold the full moon, the enchanting golf ball, the domes of splendid temples, the huckleberry pie, the wedding ring, the circus ring, the ring for the waiter, and the "round" of drinks. ~ O. Henry

I can't hit a ball more than 200 yards. I have no butt. You need a butt if you're going to hit a golf ball. ~ Dennis Quaid

Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off. ~ Bruce Lansky

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. ~ Jack Lemmon

You look out on the driving range and it looks like snow, but it isn't, it's covered in golf balls. ~ John Scott

If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about. ~ Bob Hope

A big part of managing a golf course is managing your swing on the course. A lot of guys can go out and hit a golf ball, but they have no idea how to manage what they do with the ball. I've won as many golf tournaments hitting the ball badly as I have hitting the ball well. ~ Jack Nicklaus

He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot." ~ Bill Engvall

One thing I've learned over time is, if you hit a golf ball into water, it won't float. ~ Arnold Palmer

Golf is assuredly a mystifying game. It would seem that if a person has hit a golf ball correctly a thousand times, he should be able to duplicate the performance at will. But such is certainly not the case. ~ Bobby Jones

By the time a man can afford to lose a golf ball, he can't hit that far. ~ Jacob Braude

I always like to see a person stand up to a golf ball as though he were perfectly at home in its presence. ~ Bobby Jones

Advice to expectant mothers: you must remember that when you are pregnant, you are eating for two. But you must remember that the other one of you is about the size of a golf ball, so let's not go overboard with it. I mean, a lot of pregnant women eat as though the other person they're eating for is Orson Welles. ~ Dave Barry

He leaned back. "What, may I ask, is the nature of our business?" She inclined her head. "Just so. It came to my attention earlier today that you had canceled the seventy-fifth annual Christmas Eve ball. I would have called upon you immediately, but I'm afraid a prior engagement tied my hands until this very moment." He tried to make sense of her words. She was apologizing for not descending upon him more promptly for a meeting he'd never in his wildest dreams anticipated? ~ Erica Ridley

I was on a par with the Creator of the Universe there in the dark in the cocktail lounge. I shrunk the Universe to a ball exactly one light-year in diameter. I had it explode. I had it disperse itself again.
Ask me a question, any question. How old is the Universe? It is one half-second old, but that half-second has lasted one quintillion years so far. Who created it? Nobody created it. It has always been here. ~ Kurt Vonnegut

I went from five foot eleven to six foot eight, and the more ball I played, the more I caught on to the game. ~ Dennis Rodman

I play golf because it's fun. ~ Bubba Watson

It was overwhelming for a girl who'd been raised in a trailer park in Cumby, Texas. (Go Trojans!) I took another hit of oxygen and got dizzy. Then I stumbled and fell. Then I hit my head on the clicky ball thing and the desk and collapsed onto the floor ~ Countess Von Fondle

As soon as I hit the ball, I know if it's in. ~ David Beckham

Brushing up on your short game at the practice area is fine and good, but taking it with you to the golf course - when your score is really on the line - is another story. ~ Ernie Els

There's no question that O.J. Simpson had been a substitute white man in America. He had gained honorary white status. He was not viewed by many white Americans as black. He was not seen as the African American athlete who was rebellious: Jim Brown, Muhammad Ali, Hank Aaron ... He was accepted in golf clubs that were very tony. ~ Michael Eric Dyson

Happiness is a ball after which we run wherever it rolls, and we push it with our feet when it stops. ~ Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Here's why I will be a good person. Because I listen. I cannot speak, so I listen very well. I never interrupt, I never deflect the course of the conversation with a comment of my own. People, if you pay attention to them, change the direction of one another's conversations constantly. It's like having a passenger in your car who suddenly grabs the steering wheel and turns you down a side street. For instance, if we met a party and I wanted to tell you a story about the time I needed to get a soccer ball in my neighbor's yard but his dog chased me and I had to jump into a swimming pool to escape, and I began telling the story , you, upon hearing the words 'soccer' and 'neighbor' in the same sentence, might interrupt and mention that your childhood neighbor was Pele, the famous soccer player, and I might be courteous and say, Didn't he play for the Cosmos of New York? Did you grow up in New York? And you might reply that no, you grew up in Brazil on the streets of Tres Coracoes with Pele and I might say, I thought you were from Tennessee, and you might say, not originally, and then go on to outline your genealogy at length. So my initial conversational gambit - that I had a funny story about being chased by my neighbor's dog - would be totally lost, and only because you had to tell me all about Pele. Learn to listen! I beg of you. Pretend you are a dog like me and listen to other people rather than steal their stories. ~ Garth Stein

I love golf. But do you know how I got good at golf? Because of Charles Barkley. I was playing with Charles, Michael Jordan and Roy Green, and Charles was talking so much trash. On every shot, he was talking trash. So I left the tournament, and I went and practiced for a year and half. ~ Eric Dickerson

My game is like a cross between karaoke and rap: crap. ~ Nick Faldo

I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing. Now I go to practice slicing without swearing. ~ Bruce Lansky

There is absolutely nothing humorous at the Masters. Here, small dogs do not bark and babies do not cry. ~ Gary Player

If you pick up a golfer and hold it close to your ear, like a conch shell, and listen, you will hear an alibi. ~ Fred Beck

There is no substitute to taking a lot of a catches as a youngster if you want to do slip catching - you've got to catch, catch, catch. And more than doing the normal stuff, you have to vary your catching - you've got to take some catches with the tennis ball, you got to take some closer, some further away. ~ Rahul Dravid

You don't need to play every ball but every ball needs your judgement. ~ Amit Ray

Well, we promised our fans that we'd put out records faster, and that's what we're doing. We figured out a way to condense our cycle, so to speak, by ... continuing to write, trying to keep the creative ball rolling as often as possible. ~ Chester Bennington

I tried to convince myself once, when I was a teenager, that I felt God. Alone in the sanctuary, accompanying my mom on an evening errand to the church. I stared at the ceiling and drew deep breath as quickly as I could. I told our youth minister in his ball cap that I had felt Him. That I was blessed.
But in the end, it was only the wind and the rain, making noise in the darkness. ~ Darin Bradley

I would play ball with Catherine, and hide and seek: Not a very challenging game in an open meadow, but she was still at the age where she believed that if she shut her eyes and buried her head under a shawl then she could not be seen. ~ Philippa Gregory

There was a time - the year after leaving, even five years after when this homely street, with its old-fashioned high crown, its sidewalk blocks tugged up and down by maple roots, its retaining walls of sandstone and railings of painted iron and two-family brickfront houses whose siding imitates gray rocks, excited Rabbit with the magic of his own existence. These mundane surfaces had given witness to his life; this cup had held his blood; here the universe had centered, each downtwirling maple seed of more account than galaxies. No more. Jackson Road seems an ordinary street anywhere. Millions of such American streets hold millions of lives, and let them sift through, and neither notice nor mourn, and fall into decay, and do not even mourn their own passing but instead grimace at the wrecking ball with the same gaunt facades that have outweathered all their winters. However steadily Mom communes with these maples - the branches' misty snake-shapes as inflexibly fixed in these two windows as the leading of stained glass - they will not hold back her fate by the space of a breath; nor, if they are cut down tomorrow to widen Jackson Road at last, will her staring, that planted them within herself, halt their vanishing. And the wash of new light will extinguish even her memory of them. Time is our element, not a mistaken invader. How stupid, it has taken him thirty-six years to begin to believe that. ~ John Updike

... There are times when something is asked of us, and we find we must do it. There is no calculation involved, no measure of the necessity of the thing itself, the action that must be performed. There is simply an acknowledgment that we will do the thing in question, and then the thing is done, often at considerable personal cost. "
"What goes into these decisions? What tiny factors, invisible, in the jutting edges of personality and circumstance, contribute to this inevitability? ~ Jesse Ball

I don't support the belly putter. I think it's bad for the game of golf. ~ Padraig Harrington

Maybe we can't have everything we want in this relationship, Susanna." He bent his lips to her ears and whispered, "But we have this ball and tonight, you are my queen. ~ Rachel Hauck

Once I get the ball, you're at my mercy. There is nothing you can say or do about it. I own the ball. ~ Michael Jordan

I'm sorry. I know how much players have to focus, and I know not to be a distraction. I just got caught up in the moment, in the great game, in your terrific pitching."

But I felt a need to explain more.

"Look, Jason, I love baseball. I love the crack of the bat hitting the ball. I love the seventh-inning stretch and singing 'Take Me Out to the Ball Game.' I love eating hot dogs and standing for the singing of the national anthem. I love doing the wave. I love Kiss Cam. I love that the game isn't over until it's over.

"I love the thrill of a home run and the disappointment of an out at first. I love the way a batter stands at the plate and the catcher readies himself to receive the pitch. I love watching the pitcher windup. I love sitting in the stands and feeling like I'm part of the game.

"And tonight, watching you pitch, I forgot that I'm only a small part - the spectator. Watching you, I felt like I was in the game, out on that field with you. You're out there on the mound, living a dream that so few people ever experience.

"I'm sorry, sorry that tonight I ruined the moment for you."

He was staring at me intently. I'd just bared my soul. Why didn't he speak? What could he possibly be thinking?

My nerves stretched taut.

"Say something," I demanded.

"There's nothing else to say," he said in that quiet way he had.

Then he lowered his head and kissed me. ~ Rachel Hawthorne

I could go away five or six weeks in a row and never touch a club. I would just look at them and say, 'I just don't want to; it's not that important.' And it wasn't that important. Golf - I don't want to answer loosely - I pay a lot of attention to it, but I don't ever really think about it. ~ Fred Couples

Baseball can be slow in many ways. The action starts with when the pitcher delivers the ball. But the action really starts when the crack of the bat happens. ~ Cal Ripken, Jr.

Life is like a rugby ball. You never know where it bounces next. ~ Boniface Sagini

A ball, at last! Dimity Plumleigh-Teignmott sank back into her chair in delight. ~ Gail Carriger

She felt as if there were a glass ball in her chest- something delicate and beautiful that might shatter if she said the wrong word, if she disturbed the balance in any way. ~ Lauren Oliver

[A knuckleball is] a curve ball that doesn't give a damn. ~ Jimmy Cannon

think the word you might be searching for," she finally said, "is stupefied. Or awed? Inspired?" She gave a shy little smile. "But vib. I'm not mad at you, Bartleby." My heart felt like a rubber ball bouncing down the stairs. ~ Alena Graedon

We are flying over a ball of fire. ~ Elena Ferrante

Though Jack Nubbins was extremely talented, Quenten Cassidy had viewed the Specter; when he reached down through the familiar layers of gloom and fatigue he generally found more there than a nameless and transient desire to acquire plastic trophies. He and Nubbins were not even in the same ball park. ~ John L. Parker Jr.

The Englishmen is at his best on the links and at his worst in the Cabinet. ~ George Bernard Shaw

Well, we were always going to fail that one, said Ron gloomily as they ascended the marble staircase. He had just made Harry feel rather better by telling him how he told the examiner in detail about the ugly man with a wart on his nose in the crystal ball, only to look up and realize he had been describing the examiner's reflection. ~ J.K. Rowling

American football seems to resemble soccer in that one scores by putting the ball through the opponent's goal; but football, truly is about land. The Settlers want to move the line of scrimmage Westward, the Native Americans want to move it East. ~ David Mamet

I'm growing an Abe Lincoln beard. On my ball sack. ~ Jarod Kintz

Uh, hi," she said, lifting a hand in greeting.
"Hi yourself," Liam said, feeling remarkably calm, under the circumstances. "Did you just walk out of that closet?" He looked her over, taking in her unusual attire, jewels, sword, and all. She looked exotic, stunningly beautiful, and in some intangible way, more herself than he'd ever seen her.
"Nice outfit. Special occasion?" He was fairly certain she hadn't just come from a costume ball. Unless it was one that involved some kind of giant pumpkin and a fairy godmother. ~ Deborah Blake

In the very beginning whenever Mia Hamm or Brandi Chastain would call for the ball, I'd just give it to them immediately because it was them and I was nervous. ~ Heather O'Reilly

I never intended for the Monster Ball to be a religious experience, it just became one. ~ Lady Gaga

I curled into a ball underneath my thick comforter, and inhaled through my nose; Travis' scent still lingered on my skin.
The bed felt cold and foreign, a sharp contrast to the warmth of Travis' mattress. I had spent thirty days in a cramped apartment with Eastern's most infamous tramp, and after all the bickering and late-night houseguests, it was the only place I wanted to be. ~ Jamie McGuire

I always think under par. You have to believe in yourself. ~ Sergio Garcia