Funny Love Quotes

We, as Americans, at least - I mean, I love my country - but we're so self-righteous sometimes, in terms of, like, our nationality, our country. But we're people from somewhere else; the true 'Americans' are the original peoples. It's funny, but we're a very territorial species. ~ Peter Dinklage

He's too damn tall. I'd have to sit in his lap or get a step stool to kiss him
anywhere near his face.Heh, there are always places south of the border to kiss. Don't need to be tall to reach those. ~ Jennifer James

Whatever you may say, genuine emotions are aroused by people. The first smile of a newborn, love confession, hang-loose chatting with friends, weekly meetings with dears, and a lot more other things initiated by two or several individuals trigger the feeling of happiness. There are more specific emotions native to females and males. Whereas the first ones are pleased at hearing sweet words. We live and work in the tradition of love and not hatred. As for us, it is the unconditional acceptance of all people, the scale of our love for them. Let's treat every person as a person in his uniqueness at eye level.
Love is one of the strongest feelings one can ever have. It comes over you all of a sudden and totally absorbs before you manage to realize the fact. Emotions which arise with the feeling require some way of expression. Furtive glances, sweet words, touching, and romantic dates are a usual manifestation of affection. Still, there is a more inventive way to expose oneself – dedicating a special beautiful love quote to your beloved. ~ Oscar Auliq-Ice

Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week. ~ Groucho Marx

I'd love to get into some comedy, but people keep saying, 'You're not funny!' And I say, 'Well, fair enough.' I have done comedy on stage. ~ Ciaran Hinds

I'm still furious with you," she murmured, kissing a line down his chest.
"Oh, God, please don't be furious," he choked out quickly. "Every female I know is furious with me. Rosalyn throws tantrums, and Charlotte hasn't spoken to me or written since you left." He moved his hands to unbutton her gown. "The morning I thought you'd sailed out of my life I started drinking and didn't stop until I'd finished two bottles. For three days I had a blistering headache, and Nedda couldn't for the life of her stop banging things." He groaned. "And I can't even begin to tell you about your sisters. ~ Adele Ashworth

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. ~ Henny Youngman

I mean, my age is just a number. So what if you were born in the era when they still used rotary phones and cassette tapes? I think it's cute. ~ T.S. Krupa

Strange questions are the more interesting ones. Children by and large don't try to trip you up ... they want to find out how you do this funny thing that you do ... if they've loved a story they love to know how it started. ~ Michael Morpurgo

Definitely, I think I fulfill a very funny Indian stereotype because I love technology. It's something I've always been interested in. ~ Manish Dayal

I do keep getting these bad girl roles. The funny thing is that, honestly, I don't think I'm believable as these aristocratic mean girls. But I do love playing them. ~ Katie McGrath

Mumps, measles, and puppy love are terrible after twenty. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

My wife said, 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I said, 'Why?' And she said, 'Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already.' ~ Bob Monkhouse

Shut up. You Matter. That's it. ~ Nora Roberts

I make big objects that are simple, bright and clear, kind of ironic but hopefully funny because I love the shapes, and I get inspiration from toys and books, and I believe in art for everyone. ~ Florentijn Hofman

If somebody says 'I love you' to me, I feel as though I had a pistol pointed at my head. What can anybody reply under such conditions but that which the pistol holder requires? 'I love you, too'. ~ Kurt Vonnegut

Marcus?" Alex faced us.
"Yes, Alexandria?"
One side of her lips tipped up as her gaze slid to mine. "Does it bother you that Aiden and I have been. how do I put this? He's seen me naked? Multiple times. ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout

I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire? ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

You can't make someone love you, all you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in ~ Caleb Followill

In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place. ~ Helen Rowland

One of my favorite comedies is 'Groundhog Day' and 'Scrooged.' I love Bill Murray, and I think he's a great example of an actor who is funny. ~ Fiona Gubelmann

There's a darkness under 'The Hangover' because ultimately there's a missing person and it's not really that funny. There's a sort of darkness under it that I love, and still people are laughing as hard if not harder than they did in 'Old School.' ~ Todd Phillips

It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether. ~ Johnny Vegas

While I was busy hating Vegas, and hiding from Vegas, a funny thing happened. I grew to love Vegas. ~ J.R. Moehringer

Love is just a word, but you bring it definition. ~ Eminem

The only people who make love all the time are liars. ~ Louis Jordan

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself. ~ Emo Philips

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? ~ Lily Tomlin

You know you are in love when you are willing to share your cash-machine number. ~ Elayne Boosler

The truth is simple, you do not die from love. You only wish you did. ~ Erica Jong

FatherMichael has entered the room
Wildflower: Ah don't tell me you're through a divorce yourself Father?
SureOne: Don't be silly Wildflower, have a bit of respect! He's here for the ceremony.
Wildflower: I know that. I was just trying to lighten the atmosphere.
FatherMichael: So have the loving couple arrived yet?
SureOne: No but it's customary for the bride to be late.
FatherMichael: Well is the groom here?
SingleSam has entered the room
Wildflower: Here he is now. Hello there SingleSam. I think this is the first time ever that both the bride and groom will have to change their names.
SingleSam: Hello all.
Buttercup: Where's the bride?
LonelyLady: Probably fixing her makeup.
Wildflower: Oh don't be silly. No one can even see her.
LonelyLady: SingleSam can see her.
SureOne: She's not doing her makeup; she's supposed to keep the groom waiting.
SingleSam: No she's right here on the laptop beside me. She's just having problems with her password logging in.
SureOne: Doomed from the start.
Divorced_1 has entered the room
Wildflower: Wahoo! Here comes the bride, all dressed in . . .
SingleSam: Black.
Wildflower: How charming.
Buttercup: She's right to wear black.
Divorced_1: What's wrong with misery guts today?
LonelyLady: She found a letter from Alex that was written 12 years ago proclaiming his love for her and she doesn't know what to do.
Cecelia Ahern

I love every minute of fatherhood, staying up all night, changing nappies, kids crying, I find it really funny and inspiring. It connects you to the world in a new way. ~ Elton John

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. ~ Maurice Chevalier

He's so fucking unconventionally perfect. I don't know whether I want to kick him in the balls or lick his face. ~ Heather M. Orgeron

It is astonishing how little one feels alone when one loves. ~ John Bulwer

I love nothing better than a dirty cartoon. I think that it's really, really funny to see adult themes in a genre that's usually directed towards children. ~ John DiMaggio

Maybe you're not so bad after all.'
He leant across the seat, jabbing his finger in the air. 'If you tell anyone, I'll deny it. I have a reputation to uphold, you know. ~ Catherine Doyle

Then there was a man who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late' ~ Oscar Wilde

Hate is funny. Love isn't. Love can kill you. Hate can keep you alive. ~ Carol Grace

Everybody's funny if you love them. ~ Anna Torv

I love kids; I think they are fun and funny. ~ Courtney Thorne-Smith

I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes. ~ Bo Burnham

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups. ~ Cathy Guisewite

I love Felicity Jones. It was funny because I went to go see the 'Rogue One' set, and I was like, 'Oh my God, I love you.' And she's so tiny, and elegant, and she's just so small. Everyone's so much smaller than they seem. ~ Daisy Ridley

I love New York. I was sad, depressed and incredibly moved by our fellow countrymen and what they've done. I wanted to give people a chance to see something funny, have a distraction. ~ Ben Stiller

I love practical jokes and humor. That there's frankly no joke that I don't think is funny. I love practical jokes, but I don't like being scared. ~ Mitt Romney

Love ceases to be a pleasure when it ceases to be a secret. ~ Aphra Behn

I can pay you."
He raised his eyebrows. "I'm sure there are services for that.Maybe you can try calling 1-800-HOOKERS or something?"
"You know the number well? ~ Kasie West

We play and tease, but―darn it―he has not dragged me into the rain and kissed me senseless yet. And that's how it's supposed to happen. I know; I read romance novels. ~ Shari L. Tapscott

I think that sometimes, romantic comedies have to be really broad, and that the plot of people falling in and out of love or whatever is not enough. 'Enough Said' had that stuff, but I wanted it to be fun and funny while also grounded in reality. ~ Nicole Holofcener

Love is like wine, drink it as you rhyme. ~ Santosh Kalwar

I have really fond memories of growing up in Chicago, and I always love going back. I still have a lot of really good friends from high school that I go to dinner with. It's kind of become a tradition when I go out there to do a show to give a few friends a call, tell some funny stories about high school and walk down memory lane. ~ Kaskade

What is a kiss? Why this, as some approve: The sure, sweet cement, glue, and lime of love. ~ Robert Herrick

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. ~ Steve Martin

I'd love to become like Bill Murray, who was so funny on 'Saturday Night Live' and has gone on to do some of the landmark comedies people like. And then to add this whole other phase to his career with 'Lost in Translation' and 'Rushmore.' I always felt to be able to have something similar to that would be great. ~ Will Ferrell

High school is when I started to get my sense of fashion together. My queen was Candice Swanepoel, who is a friend of mine now, which is kind of funny, but in high school, I was obsessed. I love her street style: she is always in cool boyfriend jeans, boots, and an awesome coat, which is very much like what I wear. ~ Gigi Hadid

I'd love to do a really juicy drama that's just really real. On the comedy side, I'd love to do something like '21 Jump Street.' I cannot stop watching that movie. Really funny, really extreme comedies are definitely my favorite. ~ Daniela Bobadilla

I love the sad songs with their maudlin, self-deprecating, almost funny lyrics. As an Englishman, they make a lot of sense. ~ Teddy Thompson

Jamie gawked at the JLM T-shirt peeking out of Theo's leather jacket and his face glowed. "Yes I-L-Y? ~ Anyta Sunday

All you can do is really the prep work and make sure you're ready to hit each golf shot. Outside of that, you're not sure really what's going to happen. It's a funny game, but I think that's why I love it. You never know, one day to the next; you could go shoot 62, and the next day you're going to shoot 78, and you can't predict it. ~ Rickie Fowler

Look here, cousin," Big Country's drawled in the background. "This here's a car. We just got off a plane, and no matter how fast you push this bitch, she ain't gon' fly, so believe me when I say, I refuse to die over some foolishness you call love, not today. ~ Shay Rucker

Ah, damn it, lass,'he called after her. 'I've busted my stitches wide open.'
'What?'she cried, hurrying back to him. 'Let me see!'
'Ah-ha!' He snared her around the waist, dragging her down with him to his lap.'You still care for me! ~ Kresley Cole

We have a curious relationship with 'funny' in the U.K. We love to laugh, but we also think that making people laugh is just a little bit second-tier, especially in a literary context. ~ Nick Harkaway

I think I'm too cynical for L.A. My sense of humor doesn't go down well here, which probably affects my love life. I need to have a laugh track following me around so people know I'm trying to be funny. ~ Teddy Thompson

My life acccomplishments? Sanity, and you ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

What was worse, he couldn't tell her how much he thought he maybe might kinda sorta love her. ~ Gena Showalter

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. ~ Chelsea Handler

I think Amy Poehler and Tina Fey have done so much for women in comedy in the sense that they've normalized it. You don't think, 'I'm going to watch that comedy starring a woman,' you think, 'I'm going to watch that funny show.' They refuse to play the foils for men, or be reduced to the butt of every joke, and I love that about both of them. ~ Tatiana Maslany

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. ~ Woody Allen

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. ~ Bill Vaughan

Every girls' night needs a funny movie and a good conversation about guys! My friends and I also love picking outfits out for each other to try on at slumber parties. It's so fun. ~ Jennette McCurdy

A beauty is a woman you notice; a charmer is one who notices you. ~ Adlai E. Stevenson

Love is a state of mind which has nothing to do with the mind. ~ Bob Phillips

Love is simple, if you allow it to be simple. Julian to Hannah, Take A Chance ~ Alison Wong

I love writing both fiction and memoir. Both have unique challenges; bottom line, fiction is hard because you have to come up with the credible, twisty plot, and memoir is hard because you have to say something true and profound, albeit in a funny way. ~ Lisa Scottoline

I'm going to run away now," says Gat. "Don't take it personally."
"Okay."
"It's better for the starting over if I run. Because walking will just be awkward."
"I said okay."
"Okay, then."
And he runs. ~ E. Lockhart

I'm so single. It's funny. I'm usually a relationship girl. I love being in love and having a partner in crime. But it's good to be your own partner in crime. God, that makes me sound like I have multiple-personality disorder. ~ Brittany Snow

My wife said to me: 'If you won the lottery, would you still love me?' I said: 'Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you.' ~ Frank Carson

I love insults, devastating takedowns, things that could be described by Twitter hacks as 'shots fired,' and funny ad hominem attacks. ~ Alex Pareene

I love improv so much. Listening. I think that's the key. When you improvise, you put a lot of pressure on yourself to create, and to be generating information, and trying to be funny, but if you just listen to what's being said to you, and then react honestly, you generally get better results. ~ Rob Riggle

That is the best-to laugh with someone because you both think the same things are funny. ~ Gloria Vanderbilt

Gotta stay in the gym, stay funny, stay sharp. I just love working. ~ Marlon Wayans

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

I love doing funny promos like the ones I did wrestling Rey Mysterio. ~ Kurt Angle

A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house. ~ Moliere

In a recent Valentine's Day posting on her fan website, Britney Spears says that - oh, who cares? ~ Amy Poehler

Light and funny has a more compelling quality when you're younger. But I haven't abandoned the genre: I love falling down; I love Lucille Ball. It's just that a lot of those stories revolve around problems that I can't convincingly portray at this age. ~ Julia Roberts

I love film, but it's funny going to drama school for three years, where you spend most of your time training for theatre, then coming out and just doing films. ~ Tuppence Middleton

Forgive me, madam," he said lightly, amused, "but waiting to make love to you again is straining my nerves."
She scoffed but she was quite shaken; he could see it in her expression, in the way she nervously toyed with the buttons on her pelisse.
"How awfully presumptuous of you to think I'd let you."
"You will," he insisted soothingly.
She gaped at him.
"Please continue," he urged. "I'm aching to hear the rest."
"You're as arrogant as usual."
"You missed it, though."
"I absolutely did not," she asserted.
He grinned. "You missed my arrogance almost as much as I missed your impudence, little one."
"That's absurd."
"I love you, Caroline," he softly, quickly replied, catching her off guard with such tenderness. "Move on before I decide I'm finished with this conversation, rip off your clothes, and show you how much. ~ Adele Ashworth

When I met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always ~ Rita Rudner

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life. ~ Richard Lewis

Her feelings for Jeremy were like Schrodinger's Crush. As long as she didn't open the box, their relationship existed in a state of quantum superposition: both possible and impossible at the same time. ~ Susannah Nix

We will have to rough it like mundanes do, and take the fanciest, most luxurious train available on a romantic overnight through the Alps. You see the sacrifices I am willing to make for the sake of safety. ~ Cassandra Clare

I don't think, 'Gee, I'd like to dress this person.' There was a picture in Us magazine. It was a jersey dress, and Courtney Love was wearing it. I have this thing about Courtney Love, this funny worship. ~ Marc Jacobs

That woman," Grimm said quietly, "drives me quite insane."
Kettle grunted. "Why'd you marry her, then? ~ Jim Butcher

I love a lot of comedy actors and actresses like Kristen Wiig and Tina Fey and all those women who are really brilliant and funny. ~ Saoirse Ronan

Seeing you lights up my day, to hear your voice makes me smile all cheesy, to see you smile makes my heart all warm and fuzzy, when you say I love you makes my body weak. ~ Alice Gardner

I would love to write a mystery - a romantic, funny mystery. ~ Cecelia Ahern

I do quite like sightseeing. I like churches, museums, galleries and all that stuff. I love the smell of a church in Italy or the smell of an old greasy spoon somewhere. I like markets and little funny shops in the backstreets of Florence. ~ Ashley Jensen