Funny Game Quotes

I'm probably the guy who keeps it loose around the room and tries to joke around with guys before the game, keeping things funny. ~ Patrick Kane

Ninety percent of this game is half mental. ~ Yogi Berra

After an hour the score was:
Quancita - 34
Radiz - 51
Sally - froglegs
Perla - 9 and 21
Me - hoo-hoo-hooo ~ Joel N. Ross

All you can do is really the prep work and make sure you're ready to hit each golf shot. Outside of that, you're not sure really what's going to happen. It's a funny game, but I think that's why I love it. You never know, one day to the next; you could go shoot 62, and the next day you're going to shoot 78, and you can't predict it. ~ Rickie Fowler

Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world. ~ Bob Hope

Hockey s a funny game. You have to prove yourself every shift, every game. It's not up to anybody else. You have to take pride in yourself. ~ Paul Coffey

And I like to keep whatever is mine remaining that way. It's a funny little game to play and it's a slippery slope. I always say to myself I'm never going to give anything away because there's never any point or benefit for me. ~ Kristen Stewart

Making modern games funny would be easy as pie if it was anybody's goal to actually make a funny game. ~ Doug TenNapel

A man grows weary of having no lovers but his fingers. ~ George R R Martin

You cannot hurt animals, so what do I do? I kill the dog first. Then I do it with the boy. You're not supposed to break the illusion of this being a film, so I make the actor talk to the audience. Provocation is the principle of the whole film [ Funny Games]. It is very ironic. ~ Michael Haneke

It became a gamble to myself whether I was able to do the exact same film ["Funny Games"]under very different circumstances. ~ Michael Haneke

Golf's a funny game. You can be playing poorly and then go and win a tournament. ~ Karrie Webb

When I play a game, I want to play, not necessarily laugh. If you try to make me laugh at the expense of interactivity, then you've just created another funny game that isn't very fun. The videogame medium itself is a terrible place for complicated humor, drama, and character development. ~ Doug TenNapel

I started a novel right before 'The Imitation Game,' so it's funny now, four years later, to be coming almost back to finishing it. ~ Graham Moore

There is a part of me that really just thinks it would be so funny to see the 'Veep' characters in 'Game of Thrones.' ~ Timothy Simons

Let's play Russian roulette. If you win, I give you a Colombian necktie. ~ Natalya Vorobyova

Tennis is a funny game, and it takes a life-time of keeping one's eyes open on the circuit to have any chance of understanding the strange phenomena that exist in our exciting sport! ~ Sania Mirza

It's funny because 'West Wing' is similar to 'Game of Thrones' in some ways, as it was very hard to pull off back then. ~ Alex Graves

At age 6 I was born without a face. ~ Arin Hansen

Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer. ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Greg: Scott, great horde.
My realization was that I could never *actually* live a life where I had to be constantly doing things like praising a dude's horde.
So that made me feel better about myself. ~ Jesse Andrews

It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music. ~ Tom Petty

What do you think? Does this face make me look fat? ~ Kiersten White

In my experience, it's not just that serious books get a hearing on comedy shows. But serious books get a serious hearing, as well as a funny one, on comedy shows. ~ Michael Mandelbaum

I'd like all of you to ask yourselves what you would have done, were you a student here in Valentine Morgenstern's day. Would you have joined the Circle? Would you have stood by Valentine's side at the Uprising? Raise your hand, if you think it's possible. Simon was unsurprised to see not a single hand in the air. He'd played this game back in mundane school, every time his history class covered World War II. Simon knew no one ever thought they would be a Nazi. Simon ~ Cassandra Clare

The masses of people are carried along, obedient to their environment; the wills and desires of others stronger than themselves; the effects of inherited tendencies; the suggestions of those about them; and other outward causes; which tend to move them about on the chess-board of life like mere pawns. By rising above these influencing causes, the advanced Hermetists seek a higher plane of mental action, and by dominating their moods, emotions, impulses and feelings, they create for themselves new characters, qualities and powers, by which they overcome their ordinary environment, and thus become practically players instead of mere Pawns. Such people help to play the game of life understandingly, instead of being moved about this way and that way by stronger influences and powers and wills. They use the Principle of Cause and Effect, instead of being used by it. Of course, even the highest are subject to the Principle as it manifests on the higher planes, but on the lower planes of activity, they are Masters instead of Slaves. ~ Three Initiates

Abandoned babies are unfortunate unwanted results of a once urgent desire to have an orgasm ~ David Cross

I have an unfortunate personality. ~ Orson Welles

I've been trying to work on my positioning and defensive game. ~ Thomas Vanek

I know a lot of funny people in a lot of funny places. ~ John Mellencamp

It was funny, though, the things you didn't learn about people until after they died. ~ Cynthia Leitich Smith

How is it to be explained that something inside me revolts against the playing of obvious moves? Perhaps we may perceive the underlying reason in the fact that I derive satisfaction from seeking to reveal the concealed meaning of a position by means of maneuvering play and therefore I do not wish to see this satisfaction curtailed by a banal, more or less fortuitous decision. Naturally, this phenomenon is played out beneath the threshold of consciousness. The waking consciousness will, of course, in each individual case, give preference to the more rapid means of deciding the game. ~ Aron Nimzowitsch

A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you're talking about real money. ~ Everett Dirksen

Each one you take is a commitment. If you break that commitment, the gods of alcohol will punish you with a hangover so bad you'll think Satan himself took a dump on you. -Milo ~ Cora Carmack

Each life is a game of chess that went to hell on the seventh move( ... ) ~ Martin Amis

When you've played this game for ten years and gone to bat seven-thousand times and gotten two-thousand hits do you know what that really means? It means you've gone zero for five-thousand. ~ Reggie Jackson

Most people have stop playing the game (living their dreams) and instead cheering with the crowd (following the masses). Just because they missed a penalty, a chance, an opportunity). Let nothing stop you! It's time to start playing again, it's your dream, it's your baby, make it happen ~ Bernard Kelvin Clive

I really embrace things that I think people who like music can relate to, they grew up with the same stuff and know the same references so when they hear it being used as a metaphor to something else they'll be like that's unique, or funny or something that's relatable to me. ~ Hoodie Allen

The full tigers watched him silently. All females. Thankfully. He would be less than happy if he had to take on some territorial male.



Well, this little adventure was only going to last through today. As soon as night came, he would get his furry ass out of here. Even if he had to scare some poor security guard to death. Then he would be heading to California. He had some dog butt to kick.



Sighing, Nik looked up to find a small child staring at him. A small child busy picking his nose.



Could this get any worse?



The females stirred restlessly near him and he caught the scent they had.



Oh no. Please. Not that.



They stood in front of him, completely unaware of his presence and arguing like two ten-year-olds.



Nik didn't bother searching for a way out. There was no way out. Those two evil witches trapped him. Trapped him in hell.



Throwing up his hands in anger, Alek turned away from Ban, facing the tiger display. Alek's gold eyes stared at Nik for a moment, a frown of confusion pulling his brows down. Then he smiled. And then he just became plain hysterical.



Bastard! This wasn't and never would be funny!



Ban stared at Alek for several confused moments before catching sight of Nik.



As his brothers literally rolled on the ground laugh ~ Shelly Laurenston

The funny thing is while the grown-ups in the family may indulge, we really try to offer our son Duke clean food, as all his meals are made with organic ingredients as the rest of us eat cookies straight out of the freezer. ~ Bill Rancic

There, at her console, he dialed 594: pleased acknowledgement of husband's superior wisdom in all matters ~ Philip K. Dick

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Religions all have the same timeline ... First the people feel the need to worship something. The sun or the giant corn of ear. That's the first thing. Then the guys say okay, now that we've got the giant corn thing going, how can we use it to oppress women? ~ Carol Anshaw

Adventure games are all about details - if you happen to take this one object and use it with this other object, in a really weird place, at a weird time. If you happen to write a really funny dialogue line for that, even if it didn't solve the puzzle, people will appreciate that. ~ Tim Schafer

For 3 million you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand her over to Satan in person. (on Margaret Thatcher) ~ Frankie Boyle

All I can say is what you already know: some days are treasure. Not many, but I think in almost every life there are a few. That was one of mine, and when I'm blue
when life comes down on me and everything looks tawdry and cheap, the way Joyland Avenue did on a rainy day
I go back to it, if only to remind myself that life isn't always a butcher's game. Sometimes the prizes are real. Sometimes they are precious. ~ Stephen King

The ball is round, the game lasts ninety minutes, and everything else is just theory. ~ Sepp Herberger

Comedy is learning to be funny, and you learn to be funny in small rooms with young audiences. ~ Joan Rivers

If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it. ~ Stephen Colbert

Blood was shed that you three might breathe the good air of life, and if that means you have to miss out on a Zibzy game, then so be it. Part of being a man is putting others' needs before your own. ~ Andrew Peterson

I loved 'Funny Lady' for whatever reason. People say they didn't know I could sing and dance. Well, nobody ever asks me - it's always, 'Punch this guy.' ~ James Caan

There is a philosophy by which many people live their lives, and it is this: life is a shit sandwich, but the more bread you've got, the less shit you have to eat.

These people are often selfish brats as kids, and they don't get better with age: think of the shifty-eyed smarmy asshole from the sixth form who grow up to be a merchant banker, or an estate agent, or one of the Conservative Party funny-handshake mine's a Rolex brigade.

(This isn't to say that all estate agents, or merchant bankers, or conservatives are selfish, but that these are ways of life that provide opportunities of a certain disposition to enrich themselves at the expense of others. Bear with me.)

There is another philosophy by which people live their lives, and it goes thus: You will do as I say or I will hurt you.

. . . Let me draw you a Venn diagram with two circles on it, denoting sets of individuals. They overlap: the greedy ones and the authoritarian ones. Let's shade in the intersecting area in a different color and label it: dangerous. Greed isn't automatically dangerous on its won, and petty authoritarians aren't usually dangerous outside their immediate vicinity -- but when you combine the two, you get gangsters and dictators and hate-spewing preachers. ~ Charles Stross

It's so funny because if you tweet your lyrics and then you hear it in a song next week, you're like, 'Hey I had that same idea.' I'm very secretive with my music. We have to send emails password protected. Because once that song gets out, you aren't selling that thing. ~ Ester Dean