Tyrion Quotes

Tyrion Lannister was bundled in furs so thickly he looked like a very small bear ~ George R R Martin

Small men oft feel a need to prove their courage with unseemly boasts," he declared. "I doubt if he could kill a duck."
Tyrion shrugged. "Fetch the duck. ~ George R R Martin

There was very little that Jaime took seriously. Tyrion knew that about his brother, and forgave it. During all the terrible long years of his childhood, only Jaime had ever shown him the smallest measure of affection or respect, and for that Tyrion was willing to forgive him most anything. ~ George R R Martin

So what will you do, m'lord, now that you're the Hand of the King?" Shae asked him as he cupped that warm sweet flesh. "Something Cersei will never expect," Tyrion murmured softly against her slender neck. "I'll do ... justice. ~ George R R Martin

How could I not love him, after that? That is not to say that I approved of all he did, or much enjoyed the company of the man that he became ... but every little girl needs a big brother to protect her. Tywin was big even when he was little." She gave a sigh. "Who will protect us now?"
Jaime kissed her cheek. "He left a son."
"Aye, he did. That is what I fear the most, in truth."
That was a queer remark. "Why should you fear?"
"Jaime," she said, tugging on his ear, "sweetling, I have known you since you were a babe at Joanna's breast. You smile like Gerion and fight like Tyg, and there's some of Kevan in you, else you would not wear that cloak ... but Tyrion is Tywin's son, not you. I said so once to your father's face, and he would not speak to me for half a year. Men are such thundering great fools. Even the sort who come along once in a thousand years. ~ George R R Martin

He found Podrick Payne asleep in a chair outside the door of the solar, and shook him by the shoulder. "Summon Bronn, and then tun down to the stables and have two horses saddled." (Tyrion).
The squire's eyes were cloudy with sleep. "Horses". (squire)
"Those big brown animals that love apples, I'm sure you've seen them. Four legs and a tail. But Bronn first." (Tyrion) ~ George R R Martin

My sister has mistaken me for a mushroom. She keeps me in the dark and feeds me shit. ~ George R R Martin

You are your mother's trueborn son of Lannister."
"Am I?" the dwarf replied, sardonic. "Do tell my lord father. My mother died birthing me, and he's never been sure."
"I don't even know who my mother was," Jon said.
"Some woman, no doubt. Most of them are." He favored Jon with a rueful grin. "Remember this, boy. All dwarfs may be bastards, yet not all bastards need be dwarfs."
And with that he turned and sauntered back into the feast, whistling a tune.
When he opened the door, the light from within threw his shadow clear across the yard, and for just a moment Tyrion Lannister stood tall as a king. ~ George R R Martin

The battle fever. He had never thought to experience it himself, though Jamie had told him of it often enough. How time seemed to blur and slow and evenstop, how the past and the future vanished until there was nothing but the instant, how fear fled, and thought fled, and even you body. "You don't feel your wounds then, or the ache in your back from the weight of the armor, or the sweat running down into your eyes. You stop feeling you stop thinking, you stop being you, there is only the fight , the foe, this man and then the next and the next and the next, and you know they are afraid and tired but you're not, you're alive, and death is all around you but their swords move so slowly, you can dance through them laughing." Battle fever. I am half a man and drunk with slaughter, let them kill me if they can! ~ George R R Martin

No man threatens His Grace in the presence of the Kingsguard."
Tyrion Lannister raised an eyebrow. "I am not threatening the king, ser, I am educating my nephew. Bronn, Timett, the next time Ser Boros opens his mouth, kill him." The dwarf smiled.
"Now that was a threat, ser. See the difference? ~ George R R Martin

Remember this, boy. All dwarfs may be bastards, yet not all bastards need be dwarfs ~ George R R Martin

I am not questioning your honor, I am denying its existence. ~ George R R Martin

Pissing is the least of my talents. You ought to see me shit ~ George R R Martin

She is the widow of a Dothraki khal, a mother of dragons and sacker of cities, Aegon the Conqueror with teats. ~ George R R Martin

He caught the first man in the back of the knee before they even knew he was there, and the heavy axehead split flesh and bone like rotten wood. Logs that bleed, Tyrion thought inanely as the second man came for him. Tyrion ducked under his sword, lashed out with the axe, the man reeled backward ... and Catelyn Stark stepped up behind him and opened his throat. The horseman remembered an urgent engagement elsewhere and galloped off suddenly. ~ George R R Martin

I don't know what message to send to Bran. Help him Tyrion."
"What help could I give him? I am no maester, to ease his pain. I have no spell to give him back his legs."
"You gave me help when I needed it" Jon Snow said.
"I gave you nothing," Tyrion said. "Words."
"Then give your words to Bran too. ~ George R R Martin

One of those was occupied by a dwarf. Clean-shaved and pink-cheeked, with a mop of chestnut hair, a heavy brow, and a squashed nose, he perched on a high stool with a wooden spoon in hand, contemplating a bowl of purplish gruel with red-rimmed eyes. Ugly little bastard, Tyrion thought. The ~ George R R Martin

Jon:'What are you doing up there? Why aren't you at the feast?'
Tyrion: 'Too hot, too noisy, and I'd drunk too much wine', the dwarf told him. 'I learned long ago that it is considered rude to vomit on your brother. ~ George R R Martin

I'm short not blind ~ George R R Martin

Is this Dornish wine?" Tyrion asked him once, as he pulled a stopper from a skin. "It reminds me of a certain snake I knew. A droll fellow, till a mountain fell on him. ~ George R R Martin

My lady," Tyrion said. "You are lovely, make no mistake, but ... I cannot do this. My father be damned. We will wait. The turn of a moon, a year, a season, however long it takes. Until you have come to know me better, and perhaps to trust me a little." His smile might have been meant to be reassuring, but without a nose it only made him look more grotesque and sinister. ~ George R R Martin

It all goes back and back," Tyrion thought, "to our mothers and fathers and theirs before them. We are puppets dancing on the strings of those who came before us, and one day our own children will take up our strings and dance in our steads. ~ George R R Martin

My brother is undoubtedly arrogant," Tyrion Lannister replied. "My father is the soul of avarice, and my sweet sister Cersei lusts for power with every waking breath. I, however, am innocent as a little lamb. Shall I bleat for you? ~ George R R Martin

Why should you want to help him?" "Your brother Jon asked it of me. And I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples and bastards and broken things." Tyrion Lannister placed a hand over his heart and grinned. The ~ George R R Martin

They held each other close and turned their backs upon the end.
The hills that split asunder and the black that ate the skies;
The flames that shot so high and hot that even dragons burned;
Would never be the final sights that fell upon their eyes.
A fly upon a wall, the waves the sea wind whipped and churned -
The city of a thousand years, and all that men had learned;
The Doom consumed it all alike, and neither of them turned"
―Tyrion Lannister and Jorah Mormont, quoting a poem about the Doom ~ George R.R. Martin

You look very elegant today, my lord."
"I'm wounded. I strive to look elegant every day." - Tyrion & Littlefinger ~ George R R Martin

If he doesn't give her back, chop off his manhood and feed it to the goats," Tyrion promised. "Provided you can find some. ~ George R R Martin

My mind is my weapon. My brother has his sword, King Robert has his warhammer, and I have my mind ... and a mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge. Tyrion ~ George R R Martin

Watch over my brother, you bloody bastard, he's one of yours.
Tyrion praying to the Warrior ~ George R R Martin

Remind me to tell the High Septon," said Tyrion. "If I could pray with my cock, I'd be much more religious." He ~ George R R Martin

The city?" Tyrion was lost. "What city would that be?"
"King's Landing. I am sending you to court."
It was the last thing Tyrion Lannister would ever have anticipated. He reached for his wine, considered for a moment as he sipped. "And what am I to do there?"
"Rule," his father said curtly. ~ George R R Martin

She has the blood of a wolf," said Joffrey. "And you have the wits of a goose," said Tyrion. ~ George R R Martin

I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples, bastards and broken things. ~ George R R Martin

A wise man did not pour wildfire on a brazier. Instead he poured a fresh cup of wine. ~ George R R Martin

One of your northmen hit me with a morningstar during the battle on the Green Fork. I escaped him by falling off my horse. (Tyrion) ~ George R R Martin

If I could pray with my cock, I'd be much more religious ~ George R R Martin

Less reliable tales also reached his ears, of a dwarf witch who haunted a hill in the riverlands, and a dwarf whore in King's Landing renowned for coupling with dogs. His own sweet sister had told him of the last, even offering to find him a bitch in heat if he cared to try it out. When he asked politely if she were referring to herself, Cersei had thrown a cup of wine in his face. ~ George R R Martin

The gods are blind. And men see only what they wish. ~ George R R Martin

Littlefinger: A trade envoy from Lys once observed to me that Lord Stannis must love his daughter very well, since he'd erected hundreds of statues of her all along the walls of Dragonstone.
Tyrion: My lord, those are gargoyles. ~ George R R Martin

The longer he lived, the more Tyrion realized that nothing was simple and little was true. ~ George R R Martin

My father called them smallfolk," said Tyrion, "and he was not what you'd call a jolly man. ~ George R R Martin

I loved a maid fair as summer, with sunlight in her hair. ~ George R R Martin

Why would you take so much bloody interest in where I put my cock? - Tyrion Lannister ~ George R R Martin

No". Tyrion's voice was hoarse. "Sansa is no longer yours to torment. Understand that, monster."
Joffrey sneered. "You're the monster, Uncle"
"Am I?" Tyrion cocked his head. "Perhaps you should speak more softly to me, then. Monsters are dangerous beasts, and just now kinds seem to be dying like flies. ~ George R R Martin

Words are wind - Tyrion Lannister. ~ George R R Martin

Learn to use yours ears more and your mouth less, or your reign will be shorter than I am. ~ George R R Martin

The Imp," said Littlefinger as Lord Varys watched her face. "Tyrion Lannister. ~ George R R Martin

Contempt, thought Tyrion, the universal tongue. ~ George R R Martin

Oh, I think that Lord Tyrion is quite a large man," Maester Aemon said from the far end of the table. He spoke softly, yet the high officers of the Night's Watch all fell quiet, the better to hear what the ancient had to say. "I think he is a giant come among us, here at the end of the world." Tyrion answered gently, "I've been called many things, my lord, but giant is seldom one of them." "Nonetheless," Maester Aemon said as his clouded, milk-white eyes moved to Tyrion's face, "I think it is true." For once, Tyrion Lannister found himself at a loss for words. He could only bow his head politely and say, "You are too kind, Maester Aemon." The blind man smiled. He was a tiny thing, wrinkled and hairless, shrunken beneath the weight of a hundred years so his maester's collar with its links of many metals hung loose about his throat. "I have been called many things, my lord," he said, "but kind is seldom one of them." This time Tyrion himself led the laughter. ~ George R R Martin

Tyrion smiled. "Lord Stannis has sailed from Dragonstone." Cersei bolted to her feet. "And yet you sit there grinning like a harvest-day pumpkin? ~ George R R Martin

Tyrion pushed forward. "MY LORDS! " he shouted. He had to shout, to have any hope of being heard.
His father raised a hand. Bit by bit, the hall grew silent. ~ George R R Martin

Drowning was bad enough. But drowning sad and sober, that's too cruel. ~ George R R Martin

Ser Alliser Thorne was the only man at table who did not so much as crack a smile. "Lannister mocks us." "Only you, Ser Alliser," Tyrion said. This time the laughter round the table had a nervous, uncertain quality to it. ~ George R R Martin

Perhaps that is the secret. It is not what we do, so much as why we do it. ~ George R R Martin

Tyrion felt a pang of rage. "You fucking son of a pox-ridden ass," he spat. "I hope you die of a bloody flux. ~ George R R Martin

He had taken wounds before, but never like this. He had never known there could be such pain. Sometimes, unbidden, old prayers bubbled from his lips, prayers he had learned as a child and never thought of since, prayers he had first prayed with Cersei kneeling beside him in the sept at Casterly Rock. Sometimes he even wept, until he heard the Mummers laughing. Then he made his eyes go dry and his heart go dead, and prayed for his fever to burn away his tears. Now I know how Tyrion has felt, all those times they laughed at him. ~ George R.R. Martin

I do solemnly proclaim Tyrion of House Lannister and Sansa of House Stark to be man and wife, one flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever, and cursed be the one who comes between them. ~ George R R Martin

You'll think of me every time you go to bed. Then you'll get hard and you'll have no one to help you and you'll never be able to sleep unless you-" She grinned that wicked grin Tyrion liked so well. "-is that why they call it the Tower of the Hand, m'lord? ~ George R R Martin

I am a knight - " "So I've noted. Tell me - did Cersei have you knighted before or after she took you into her bed?" The flicker in Lancel's green eyes was all the admission Tyrion needed. So Varys told it true. Well, no one can ever claim that my sister does not love her family. ~ George R R Martin

Tyrion looked pointedly at his right hand. "Why, I have steel in my hand, Ser Allister, although it appears to be a crab fork. Shall we duel?" He hopped up on his chair and began poking at Thorne's chest with the tiny fork. Roars of laughter filled the tower room. Bits of crab flew from the Lord Commander's mouth as he began to gasp and choke. Even his raven joined in, cawing loudly from above the window. "Duel! Duel! Duel! ~ George R R Martin

Tyrion Lannister: Someone should tell the cooks that turnips isn't a meat. ~ George R R Martin

Tyrion turned to his nephew. "Joffrey, it is past time you called on Lord Eddard and his lady, to offer them your comfort."

Joffrey looked as petulant as only a boy prince can look. "What good will my comfort do them?"

"None," Tyrion said. "Yet it is expected of you. Your absence has been noted."

"The Stark boy is nothing to me," Joffrey said. "I cannot abide the wailing of women."

Tyrion Lannister reached up and slapped his nephew hard across the face. The boy's cheek began to redden.

"One word," Tyrion said, "and I will hit you again."

"I'm going to tell Mother!" Joffrey exclaimed.

Tyrion hit him again. Now both cheeks flamed.

"You tell your mother," Tyrion told him. "But first you get yourself to Lord and Lady Stark, and you fall to your knees in front of them, and you tell them how very sorry you are, and that you are at their service if there is the slightest thing you can do for them or theirs in this desperate hour, and that all your prayers go with them. Do you understand? ~ George R.R. Martin

How would you like to die, Tyrion son of Tywin?"
"In my own bed, with a belly full of wine and a maiden's mouth around my cock, at the age of eighty," he replied. ~ George R R Martin

The Gods give with one hand and take with the other. ~ George R R Martin

When I was a boy," Tyrion replied, "my wet nurse told me that one day, if men were good, the gods would give the world a summer without ending. Perhaps we've been better than we thought, and the Great Summer is finally at hand." He grinned. The ~ George R R Martin

You were small, but far-famed. We were in Oldtown at your birth, and all the city talked of was the monster that had been born to the King's Hand, and what such an omen might foretell for the realm."
"Famine, plague, and war, no doubt." Tyrion gave a sour smile. "It's always famine, plague, and war. Oh, and winter, and the long night that never ends."
"All that," said Prince Oberyn, "and your father's fall as well. Lord Tywin had made himself greater than King Aerys, I heard one begging brother preach, but only a god is meant to stand above a king. You were his curse, a punishment sent by the gods to teach him that he was no better than any other man."
"I try, but he refuses to learn." Tyrion gave a sigh. "But do go on, I pray you. I love a good tale."
"And well you might, since you were said to have one, a stiff curly tail like a swine's. ~ George R R Martin

Have you ever considered that too many answers are the same as no answers at all? - Tyrion ~ George R R Martin

Obviously the highest pressure scene, I guess it might've been a tie - what was the bigger death, Tyrion with Shae, Tyrion wth Twyin, and then Joffrey were all scenes where I wanted to deliver what was in the script married to what fans will be expecting, and it was a lot of pressure and I'm really glad it's over. ~ Alex Graves

Gods and wonders always appear, to attend the birth of kings. ~ George R R Martin

Death is so final, whereas life is full of possibilities'

- Tyrion Lannister ~ George R.R. Martin

Tyrion Lannister knew the maps as well as anyone, but a fortnight on the wild track that passed for the kingsroad up here ~ George R R Martin

I confess, I do not understand what there is in her to make a clever man like you act such a fool."
"You might, if you were not a eunuch."
"Is that the way of it? A man may have wits, or a bit of meat between his legs, but not both?" Varys tittered. "Perhaps I should be grateful I was cut, then."
The Spider was right. ~ George R R Martin

Tyrion, Jon, Dany, Stannis and Melisandre, Davos Seaworth, and all the rest of the characters you love or love to hate will be along next year (I devoutly hope) in A Dance with Dragons, which will focus on events along the Wall and across the sea, just as the present book focused on King's Landing. - George R. R. Martin June 2005 ~ George R R Martin

All dwarfs may be bastards yet not all bastards are dwarfs. ~ George R R Martin

A fool more foolish than most had once jested that even Lord Tywin's shit was flecked with gold. Some said the man was still alive, deep in the bowels of Casterly Rock. ~ George R R Martin

Tyrion Lannister sniggered. That was when Catelyn knew he was hers. "This man came a guest into my house, and there conspired to murder my son, a boy of seven," she proclaimed to the room at large, pointing. Ser Rodrik moved to her side, his sword in hand. "In the name of King Robert and the good lords you serve, I call upon you to seize him and help me return him to Winterfell to await the king's justice."
She did not know what was more satisfying: the sound of a dozen swords drawn as one or the look on Tyrion Lannister's face. ~ George R R Martin

His companion was older, clean-shaved, with a lined ascetic face. His hair had been pulled back and tied in a knot behind his head. "Small men oft feel a need to prove their courage with unseemly boasts," he declared. "I doubt if he could kill a duck." Tyrion shrugged. "Fetch the duck." "If you insist." The rider glanced at his companion. The brawny man unsheathed a bastard sword. "I'm Duck, you mouthy little pisspot." Oh, gods be good. "I had a smaller duck in mind." The big man roared with laughter. "Did you hear, Haldon? He wants a smaller Duck! ~ George R R Martin

Jaime smiled. "I hope you're not thinking of taking the black on us, sweet brother."
Tyrion laughed. "What, me, celibate? The whores would go begging from Dorne to Casterly Rock. No, I just want to stand on top of the Wall and piss off the edge of the world. ~ George R R Martin

A man grows weary of having no lovers but his fingers. ~ George R R Martin

Another name? Oh, certainly. And when the Faceless Men come to kill me, I'll say, 'No, you have the wrong man, I'm a different dwarf with a hideous facial scar.' Both Lannisters laughed at the absurdity of it all. (Tyrion Lannister) ~ George R R Martin

I arrived here a King's Hand, riding through the gates at the head of my own sworn men, Tyrion reflected, and I leave like a rat scuttling through the dark, holding hands with a spider. ~ George R R Martin

Tyrion let the eunuch help him mount. "Lord Varys," he said from the saddle, "sometimes I feel as though you are the best friend I have in King's Landing and sometimes I feel you are my worst enemy."
"How odd. I think quite the same of you. ~ George R R Martin

More wine?" Tyrion asked him. "I should not object," Lord Janos said, holding out his cup. He was built like a keg, and had a similar capacity. ~ George R R Martin

The Lord of Winterfell would always be a Stark ~ George R R Martin

That's one way we differ, Jaime and I. He's taller as well, you may have noticed. ~ George R R Martin

Give me priests who are fat and corrupt and cynical,( ... ) the sort who like to sit on soft satin cushions, nibble sweetmeats, and diddle little boys. It's the ones who believe in gods who make the trouble. (Tyrion) ~ George R R Martin

Once a man has seen a dragon in flight, let him stay home and tend his garden in content, someone had written once, for this wide world has no greater wonder. Tyrion scratched at his scar and tried to recall the author's name. ~ George R R Martin

Jaime, sweetling, I have known you since you were a babe at Joanna's breast. You smile like Gerion and fight like Tyg and there's some of Kevan in you, else you would not wear that cloak ... but Tyrion is Tywin's son, not you. I said so once to your father's face, and he would not speak to me for half a year. ~ George R R Martin

... When you've know me longer, you'll learn that I mean everything I say."
"Even the lies?"
"Especially the lies. Lord Petyr ... ~ George R R Martin

He dipped the quill into the inkpot, leaned over the first parchment, paused, looked up. "Would you prefer me to sing Yollo or Hugor Hill?"

Brown Ben crinkled up his eyes. "Would you prefer to be returned to Yezzan's heirs or just beheaded?"

The dwarf laughed and signed the parchment, Tyrion of House Lannister. ~ George R R Martin

Remember, whatever the price ... I'll beat it! I like living!
Tyrion Lannister ~ George R R Martin

Little redcape," he snarled, "when next you bare steel on Shagga son of Dolf, I will chop off your manhood and roast it in the fire."
"What, no goats?" Tyrion said, taking a bite of his cheese. ~ George R R Martin

It was bitingly cold up here,and the wind pulled at his clothes like an insistent lover. ~ George R R Martin

You're asking a lame man to teach a cripple how to dance, Tyrion said. ~ George R R Martin

I mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone. - Tyrion Lannister ~ George R R Martin

Ofttimes a very small man can cast a very large shadow.
Tyrion smiled. Lord Varys, I am growing strangely fond of you. I may kill you yet, but I think I'd feel sad about it.
I will take that as high praise. ~ George R R Martin

Tyrion felt the heat rise in him. "It was not my dagger," he insisted. "How many times must I swear to that? Lady Stark, whatever you may believe of me, I am not a stupid man. Only a fool would arm a common footpad with his own blade."
Just for a moment, he thought he saw a flicker of doubt in her eyes, but what she said was, "Why would Petyr lie to me?"
"Why does a bear shit in the woods?" he demanded. "Because it is his nature. Lying comes as easily as breathing to a man like Littlefinger. You ought to know that, you of all people. ~ George R R Martin

Once you've accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you. ~ George R R Martin

One naked girl with a mud up to her knees could not seem to take her eyes off Tyrion. She has never seen a dwarf before, he realized, much less a dwarf without a nose. He made a face and stuck his tongue out and the girl began to cry ~ George R R Martin

Tyrion: My gentle sister seems to have mistaken me for Ned Stark.
Bronn: I hear he was taller.
Tyrion: Not after Joff took off his head. ~ George R R Martin