Shelly Laurenston Quotes

You do things just to irritate me, don't you?"
Smiling, enjoying himself immensely, and determined to give her a wonderful and relaxing weekend, Van pushed Irene's wet hair from her face. "Don't be silly, doc." He kissed her lips, nuzzled her chin. "Of course I do things just to irritate you.

We're a 'we' now?" "I thought I made that clear the other night when I tied you face down to the bed and fucked ya proper

I'm not a whore, Dee-Ann. You can't just come here to use and abuse me before going on your merry way. Unless, of course, you're naked.

Is this you helping me? I don't think this is you helping me.

Have you thought about studying psychology, Kyle?" he asked.
"I plan to get my PhD in that. To get my PhD in art history just seems so ... useless. I study art and its history every second of every day. I mean, when you think about it ... I'm art history in the making. But a PhD in psychology would allow me to understand my enemies so I can destroy them and their careers before they get in my way."
Cherise leaned over and whispered in Coop's ear, "If he starts wondering about the taste of human flesh, you do understand we will have to stop him before his murder spree begins?"
"I'm more worried," Cooper whispered back, "that he'll become ruling overlord of the universe and we'll have to find some kind of magic sword if we hope to destroy him."
They both shuddered and returned to their work.

He'd hate to start killing people at this stage in the game. Especially some poor schmuck who happened to marry the wrong woman.

You didn't do anything. But I won't let anyone talk to you like that.. I don't care who they are."
"You ready to fight the whole town then, darlin'?"
She pursed her lips and said without even a bit of hesitation, "If I have to.

Why don't you admit I've been robbed of my musical career because society can't handle my innate sexuality?

Good God, woman. Hit the brakes on the freight train that is your mouth.

She needed a break." "A break? She needed a break? What does that mean?" "You know what that means, Charlie." "I do?" Charlie thought a moment, then rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on! Again?""You know how she is. But hey! At least she's still in Switzerland. We'll get there in no time." "But it's a mental hospital! Not a resort!""To her, all mental hospitals are resorts. Besides, it could be worse," Max said happily. "This could all be so much worse!" Charlie shook her head . "Dude, I seriously don't know how.

He opened the front door and Gwen said, "Lock?"
He stopped immediately. "Yeah?" Did he have to sound so eager when he was the one making the decision to go? Damn him! "Uh ... could you leave him here? He kind of comes with the place."
Frowning, Lock glanced down. "Oh, jeez!"
Oh, jeez?
"Sorry about that." He immediately dropped the lion he'd dragged from the couch to the door, back to the couch, and back to the door. "Habit. Usually I bat my prey around until they stop fighting and drag them off to the brush to ... well ... you know." He looked down at Mitch. "Sorry about that ... uh ... "
"Mitch," she told him. "Mitch. Right. Sorry about that, Mitch. And nice to meet you.

Dear God, Max! What happened to your face?" Berg hysterically asked.
She shrugged, the quills in her face wiggling when she did. "A porcupine attacked me. Flung its quills at me." She glanced around, seemingly not bothered by the many - many - quills hanging from her face like some weird, horrifying mask.

You're willing to miss the finals ... for me?"
"I attacked a van for you."
"But that didn't interfere with your schedule.

Isn't it enough you have poor Mitch here playing against bears?"
They all looked at "poor Mitch," who seemed to be having the equivalent of an orgasm eating that slice of cherry pie.

They all stared at the television. Twenty male shapeshifters quietly watching The Howling.

Smith shrugged and came over to Cella and Crush. Another shifter, a black bear, waited to lead them out, the security cameras conveniently and temporarily turned off.
"What did you really do to him?" Cella had to ask her.
"Nothin'."
"Smith," she said, stopping by the bear. "The man shit, pissed, and vomited after spending less than thirty minutes with you. There has to be a reason."
"Got me. All I did was stare at him until he told me something I could use."
The bear looked Smith over. "Did you stare at him with those eyes of yours?"
"I have my daddy's eyes."
"Annnnd, we now have our answer," Cella announced before they made their way out of the maximum security prison and headed home.

She'd never call Smith males "womanizers." Although she would call them whores.

No more Karaoke for you!
Jessica
Apologize or your out!
But ... but you love me!
And we'll learn to live without you, too. unless you apologize.

Now he was hungry, tired, and covered in boar's blood. He hated hunting his own food!

Smiled at Smitty. Leered at Dez. And practically spit at Mace. Man, the staff at this restaurant really didn't like him.

So, hoss. Have you actually told her you're in love with her?"
"She won't let me. When I tried, she threw me down a flight of stairs."
"And you're not concerned about that?"
"There weren't that many steps.

Lock glanced at the woman in his arms. She was no longer sobbing, but was now smiling and giving her best Queen Elizabeth wave to her nonexistent "people."
"I," she somberly intoned, not to Lock but her invisible "people," "as your ruler and sovereign, do thank you for this lovely throne."
She motioned to the chair. "You may now place me in my throne."
"You have got to be kidding me, Jessica."
"Place me!

He may have his mother's gray–green eyes, but this wonderful little boy - and Smitty's godson - still had the cold, hard expression of a predator. Just like his daddy.

Miki burst into laughter while Angelina looked validly concerned. "Sara, honey, you've got to let your toy go."
"Hey!" Zach snapped.

But she'd been wrong about Vig. He wasn't broken. He wasn't destroyed by a cruel society.
He was just an introvert with an aversion to shaving.
And he liked her.
Liked her, liked her.

She watched as it grew before her eyes. Then it hit her, he hadn't been erect in the first place. Well exactly how big did that thing get anyway? Was that normal, even by shifter standards? And why did she suddenly care?

"Uh...doc?"

Horrified but not willing to show it, Irene looked into Van Holtz's face. And
yes, the smirk was decidedly worse now.

"Looking for anything in particular there?"

"No," she answered honestly, "just fascinated by the size. It seems
inordinately large.

No. Not for saving my life. Besides, that's in your canine DNA. Like a St. Bernard."

"A whirlwind of deadly blows," she reminded him.

Do you want to come inside for a drink?" she softly offered.

"No. No. No, no, no, no. No."

Gwen stared at him. "One 'no' would have been clear."

"Those 'no's' weren't for you. They were for me. I was simply saying them out loud.

Gee. What's that puddle at Nik's feet? Why, that's Angie Santiago. She used to be an ice princess now she's just a sopping mess.

If he didn't have Ronnie already in his arms he'd have assumed she'd just opened the door ... and aged a few years. Wow, he thought in surprise, she's going to be hot when we hit fifty.

I'd rather have rabies than be in love."
"Why?"
"Because at least you can get over rabies with some shots.

You admit nothing. Deny everything. Demand proof. Did you learn nothing in Boot Camp?
(Mace to Smitty)

Momentarily forgetting this wasn't one of her She-wolves, Sissy automatically teased, "Good thing
my brother likes women with meat on their bones 'cause your ass is gonna be gettin' wide."
As soon as the words left her mouth, she wished she could take them back.
But without missing a beat, Jessie shot back, "Cool. Now I can start wearing your jeans. I thought
that was only going to be possible during the late stages of the pregnancy.

I know the drill." Max nodded and flatly replied, "Go in. Kill everybody. Get Stevie out." Charlie briefly closed her eyes, took a moment to breathe and try to relax her shoulders . When she felt she wouldn't yell, she said, "That is not the drill.

Brendon wasn't exactly surprised to find Mitch sitting by the lake at three in the morning, staring out over the still water. Of course, he would have much preferred if he wasn't sitting with a crocodile next to him. It was one thing to enjoy a predatory game of tug with him, but it was another to treat him like the family's pet dog.

Here, baby. Here's a towel.
She reached back, unable to face the man, and grasped the towel he handed her. Of course, it was a dish towel and not much good.

Can I come ? " Blayne asked.
"No you'll wander the aisles and want to buy things that aren't needed for this process. But I will pick you up a couple of those giant butterfingers that they sell at the cash register."
Blayne grinned "Okay !

But remember in tenth grade, when I wanted to go out with that junior and you said, 'Eh. I don't think she's the right girl for you'?"

"She wasn't."

"Because she was setting things on fire!" Ric announced loudly, making Gwen burst out laughing and Lock roll his eyes. "I'm serious, Gwen." Ric went on. "And when I say setting things on fire, I mean entire buildings. Mostly schools. She'd been setting them on fire or trying to, for weeks. I didn't find out until the cops came and arrested her during gym class. But does he say to me, 'She's setting things on fire! She's crazy! Stay away from her!' No. He says, 'Eh. I don't think she's the right girl for you.' And he's all calm about it over our chocolate pudding in the cafeteria."

"I don't see the point of getting hysterical.

She decided to be honest. "You" - she pointed at Dee-Ann - "kill at the slightest provocation. I hit for no other reason than I feel like it. And MacDermot is rude and abrasive." Cella put her arms around each woman's shoulders and hugged them in tight. "Oh, my God! I just realized. I love you guys!"
"You're touchin' me," Dee-Ann complained.
"Yeah, but at least this time it's not 'cause I'm hitting you.

Don't be that way, Ric." She grabbed hold of Ric's T-shirt and pulled him over until his weight rested against her. She placed her hand against the back of his neck and lowered his head, placing it against her chest. Using her fingers, she eased around and found the swelling knot at the base of his skull and carefully placed the bag of ice there. "Doesn't that feel better?"
He grunted a little, his arms now wrapping around her waist, his face burrowing deep against her breast. After a moment, he settled and said, "Now it does."
Dee rolled her eyes in disgust. Honestly, wolves took any advantage they could get. At their core - they were all the same.
Horny, pathetic, and cute.

He was the one ol' Tigger here beat up in his hospital room.

And all Jess knew about Gwen was that she threatened Brendon Shaw's cranky sister with acid during the wedding. Not that Jess blamed her or anything, because Marissa Shaw could be a real bitch, but Lock deserved a lovely sow who loved him, pampered him, and understood his obsession with honey.

Not that he had anything to worry about. Personally, Sissy would like to avoid having acid thrown in her face. She was wacky that way.

Uh ... could you leave him here? He kind of comes with the place."
Frowning, Lock glanced down. "Oh, jeez!" Oh, jeez?

Blayne turned her head to look at Gwen, but caught sight of Dee-Ann standing behind them.
"Ahh! Where the hell did you come from?"
"Momma says from the love she shares with my daddy," Dee calmly replied.

He actually wasn't too bad. For a big cat doing the mambo.

Lock reached for the French toast first, but Ric slapped his hand away and placed a carefully prepared plate in front of him. As Lock waited, Ric went to the counter and returned with a small strainer. He tapped the side, covering the French toast with powdered sugar. Somehow the wolf managed not to get any on Lock's bacon or sausage. "There. Isn't that nice?"

"I have to say our relationship is getting stranger and stranger as we get older.

So, what happened to your face?"
Sara grabbed Miki by her T-shirt and jeans before she could dive over the counter at the Asian girl they called Kelly.
Angelina leaned forward as Sara pulled Miki back to her, "You know what they say about curiosity? That it stabbed the annoying biker girl over and over and over again until she spit up blood."
Oh, yeah. That was subtle.

You couldn't handle being me." She swirled her forefingers around her head and admitted, "All that goes on inside this head at any given time ... would destroy you.

Her dark brown eyes were staring straight at him. "Pretty teeth." She had a light Texan accent. Not as hearty as the others he'd been hearing on his ride from California. "Long."
Her right index finger was in his mouth. It suddenly occurred to him that he hadn't yet retracted his canines. She smiled at him. "You're pretty too." Wow, she was REALLY drunk. With a sudden surge of strength, she slammed Zach against the far alley wall. Then
she was leaning into him, "I've never seen anyone as pretty as you." Zach had been called a lot of things in his lifetime, "pretty" had never been one of them. She growled as she smiled ... uh, no ... leered at him.
She kissed him

I know she's weird. Her friends know she's weird. And we all accept it because she's weird, but also amazing.

She pulled her lips away again. "Wait!"
He stopped and stared at her.
"I'm relatively positive we're not supposed to be doing this."
"Who says?"
"The laws of nature and God."
"Laws are made to be broken and God just wants us to be happy." Fucking this woman would make him so damn happy. "Come on. Let's go break some laws.

The husband got in front of his wife but Gwen never understood the whole waiting-for-a-guy-to-protect-you thing. She was a runner and hopefully the guy could keep up.

It's so hard to tell with him. He always looks like he's working the customer service desk at the DMV." "I always thought he looked like a postal worker who's about one write-up away from losing it completely.

You don't think before you do, then you're shocked when you end up on the wrong side of a shit pile.

Oh, look. The idiot of the jungle awakens.

Jealousy over some big, dumb bear flew out the window as he stared at Ronnie. "You…you were banned from Norway? The country?

Gwen handed the bag to him. "Honey buns for my honey bun.

Are you two done staring longingly in each other's eyes or should we just take a break?"
Now scowling, Dee turned her head and focused on the only idiot really taking the game seriously.
Mitch took a step back, grabbing his brother and yanking him in front of his body. "Take him, Dee. Take him!"
"You bastard!" Brendon yelped.

Yeah, that sure was Mace Llewellyn staring at her from the other side of her desk. Just staring. Like he used to. Like he knew where she'd buried the bodies of all her goldfish after their unfortunate "accidents" or what she did with her sisters' toothbrushes on more than one occasion.

Sissy could walk home while you drive me and the groceries back."
"Or," Sissy countered, "I could gut you here and let your rotting corpse attract the hyenas while we go home and enjoy a nice, quiet meal at my parents' house."
Mitch thought about that a moment but finally shook his head. "That doesn't really work for me.

Over the years, Gwen had found there were two kinds of men. Men who made eating a woman an art form because they were average - or barely - in size so they had to compensate. And men who were hung like horses but felt that nine-incher somehow exempted them from one of her favorite forms of entertainment.
Yet somehow that Irish luck that had kept Gwen alive all these years deigned to reward on her the highest blessing a woman could hope for. A well-hung man who loved to give his woman head.

Understand?"
"Sure."
"Good."
"'Cause I always love a challenge."
He'd caught her with that when she was halfway in the cab. With one foot in and the other still braced against the curb, she stared at him. "What challenge?"
"You're challenging me to get you back into my life."
"No, I'm not."
"Your exact words were 'I challenge you, Bobby Ray Smith, to get me back into your life.'"
"I never said that."
"That's what I heard." The beauty of wolf hearing. You heard only what you wanted to, made up what was never said but should have been, and the rest meant little or nothing.

"Sure."
"Good."
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"Good."
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Irene closed her book and stared at the older Van Holtz.
"I don't dislike him. But that was recent. I used to not like him but he's been very kind since I've been here. So now I like him. I'd almost say we are friendly ... but perhaps that's too big a leap at this stage."
He gave a soft laugh. "I see. Are you always this ... uh ... "
"Brutally honest?"
"I was going to say direct, but brutally honest works as well."
"Yes. I am. And I know - it's a character flaw."
"Not at all. I love honest people."
"Everyone says that ... until I say something they don't like. Then I'm a bitch.

You know," Ricky began, "if you're not busy tonight - "
Pointing at Ricky with her cell phone, the teen asked, "Are you our daddy?"
Disgusted, Ricky stated to the jackal, "Woman, there has to be an easier way for you to get rid of a man."
"Perhaps, but I've found that there's nothing quicker. "She winked at him, then gestured behind him with her chin. "And you may want to check on your brother - he's still bleeding."
"Yeah. I think Novikov nicked an artery ... again.

All right fine!" she snapped. "I'm in love with you. There. I said it. Now get over yourself."
"You know, I think those are the words written on the Taj Mahal: 'I said it. Now get over yourself.' Some of the greatest love stories have started with those words.

It simply dazzled her how he went from goofy bear, rolling on his back and playing with his toes, and right into sexy-beyond-belief Jersey grizzly who'd worked her body like a love god.

Guess it'll be Rory then." Great. More females she'd have to kick out on a daily basis, no matter how many times the man promised the latest one-night stand was the last. "He won't mind."
"I bet he won't," Van Holtz muttered, slamming his own plate of cake down as he sat cattycorner from her.
"Is there a problem?" she asked.
"No. Not at all. Crash at Reed's, if that's what you want. Hope you two are very happy together."
"Just because I'm crashing at Rory's place don't mean we're doing anything together ... and why am I explaining this to you?"
He stared at her and asked, "Why do you think?"
Dee thought about it a minute. "You're interested in Rory Lee?" Ric lowered his head, his eyes shifting from human to wolf. They were blue when wolf. Like an Arctic wolf's. "You cannot be that clueless, Dee-Ann.

You got pulled over on the Autobahn?

What are you doing?" she finally asked. "Just thinking about my day. What are you doing?" "Trying to find Jace. Have you seen her?" "Trying to find her? Why? Is it because she's Albanian?" "I'm trying to ... wait ... what?" "You hate her because she's Albanian?" "I don't hate - " "Is it just Albanians you hate, or is it all East Europeans?" "What are you talking about?" "Wow. I had no idea you were like this." Another sister-Crow showed up. "Like what?" "Rachel hates Eastern Europeans." "I do not!" "So you hate all Europeans? Is that what you're saying?" "No!" "My God, Rachel." The other sister-Crow shook her head, disgust on her face as she walked off. "I'm really disappointed in you." "Wait ... " Rachel glared down at Annalisa. "Jesus Christ." "So you hate the Christian God, too?

I'm sorry ... what?" "For they are the Crows," he intoned solemnly, "and they are the harbingers of death.

Who am I kidding? What am I going to do with a girl like her?"
"We had this talk when we were fourteen. I even brought my brother's Hustler for visual assistance.

Are you my daddy?"
Ricky Lee Reed, originally of Smithtown, Tennessee, and only replanted to New York City a few years back, gawked at the child who'd asked him the question for a mere moment before he turned his attention to the adult female who held the child.
He'd admit it wasn't a question he expected to get, you know, ever. For a bunch of reasons, too, but mostly because he didn't know this woman. He wasn't one of those guys who nailed so many females he forgot their faces or names. So then . . . why was this child asking him this question? And even stranger, why was the female raising her brows and suddenly asking, "Well . . . are you?"
Wait. Wouldn't she know? Shouldn't she? Good Lord, this city.

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He was thinking of Max MacKilligan as his girlfriend? The crazy female who'd decimated an entire team of well-trained mercenaries with her badger teammates? Or who didn't seem too concerned that he'd almost eaten a child? That woman he was thinking of as his girlfriend?

I'm a whore!"
Miki hit the brakes ... her hands.. gripping the steering wheel, glanced at Sara. "You're not wearing any underwear, are you?"
Sara let out a strangled squeal ...

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Wow. Look at the lines in your face, Missy. It's like your bitterness just dug in and stayed.

Didn't she know?
"Yes" to dinner today.
"Yes" to marriage tomorrow.
Dammit, he had a schedule to keep.
A schedule that involved getting her sweet ass into bed as fast as humanly possible.

Irene sighed and rolled her eyes. "Just give her the flowers so we can be gone." She glanced at Van. "I grow tired of the company."
Paul walked away and Van leaned against the wall, staring down Irene's cleavage. "You know, Irene," he said low, so only she could hear, "when you're mean to me like that ... "
"Yes?"
"It makes me so horny.

Mace watched his beautiful sister. She took after their mother. He took after his father. And they got along about as well as that pair did.

While the two females snarled viciously at each other, Ric grabbed a stick from the ground and waved it between Jess and Blayne. "Look! Look! A stick! Who wants it? Who wants it? Go get it!" He threw the stick and Jess and Blayne watched it flip across the forest floor. Once it landed, they looked back at Ric.
"Dude," Jess told him, "that was just rude.

The last thing Mitch really remembered was ... being on top of Sissy. He'd had a split second of thinking, Wow. This feels really good.

She did an excellent job, dear. We have a new water heater now. A waterless water heater. I plan to examine it tomorrow."
"No!" his entire family said, making him jump.
Even the granddaughter on his lap looked up into his face and said with the solemn wisdom of a four-year-old, "Don't, Grandpa.

Are you going to tame our little Sissy, Mitchell?
Sissy rubbed her face, annoyed, and Mitch answered honestly, I'm really too lazy to try and tame anybody. If I had my way, I'd spend all day sleeping under a tree, maybe rolling out occasionally to sun my belly, and then I expect someone to bring me food. I could live like that forever!

I don't know which will upset you more," she replied. "Telling you it's nothing but clutter or confessing that I often take it out and play 'I am Boba Fett' when I don't think anyone can see me.

Why was she sitting in a tree?"
"She was hiding from the organ thieves."
Ric blinked. "Sorry?"
"Do you really want me to explain it?"
"Not particularly.

Ric stared up at the lion siblings. How Lock hadn't killed them already, he didn't know. If nothing else, Ric would have had them ... managed by now. They'd be alive, but in Siberia.

The first time he snarled, I had a bit of a panic attack."
"She screamed and threw him at me."
Dez scowled at Mace. "I did not throw my son at you. I just handed him over and walked quickly from the room so I could scream into a pillow in our bedroom."
"I found her under the bed with the dogs.

Hey, hey!" Gwen said excitedly. "Look at this! Look at this!" She extended her arm and gave him the finger.

I'm a fuckin' honey badger and by this claw" - she held her hand up - " I fuckin' rule.

They watched as the Shaw brothers played tug of war with a crocodile over what Travis would guess was a nine-point buck. The buck was still kicking, too, but that didn't stop the brothers or the croc.
"I'm sensing the crazy gene, hoss," Donnie mumbled.
"Ya think?

Ronnie snarled and Brendon roared back.
Her eyes narrowed. "You roared at me?"
"And I'll do it again if you can't keep your paws off my Oreos.

I think we're avoiding the most important question here. What matters most. What means the most to men like us."
Conall growled at Billy Dunwich's sincere face. "I am not telling you if she swallows."
Dunwich smiled. "Just tell me if she's a good girl ... or if she's a very good girl?

Mitch stood. "How is this my fault? I'm not the one with the pussy that drains the life from a man!"
"And i'm not the one hung like an overendowed donkey

Mace growled and wondered how much prison time a man would do for tossing his sister into the East River.

Dee-Ann came back in the hallway and both men stopped and stared at her. "Just came back to get some water out of the fridge." When neither man said anything to her, she asked, "Somethin' wrong?"

Ric stepped forward. "How many children do you want?"

Lock grabbed Ric by his hair and yanked him back, slamming him into the front door. "Ow!

So, taking a page from the Alla Baranova-MacRyrie handbook of motivational techniques, Lock said, Hey, I totally understand if you can't do this.

Zach shoveled another spoonful of Fruit Loops cereal with milk into his mouth. "It is not possible!"
"How do you know? Just because there's no proof to prove it, there's no proof to disprove it either."
"You're trying to make me crazy, aren't you?"
"Not at all." Sara put her bowl down. "I'm just saying there could be bunny shifters."
"There are no bunny shifters!"
Shaking her head she accused, "You're a bunny bigot."
Zach threw his spoon back in the near-empty bowl. "And there is no such thing as bunny bigots.

She kissed Mitch on the forehead. Hello, pretty kitty.

Mitch opened his eyes, closed them, and then opened them wide. "There are big breasts in my face," he announced to anyone who would listen.

Even when things went out of control, his kisses never seemed brutal or vicious. Just ... determined. The bastard.