Funnier Quotes

It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington. ~ Carol Burnett

Alan Zweibel is the funniest writer in the world. He might be even funnier when he's naked, but I'm afraid to find out. ~ Dave Barry

That takes a lot of confidence to let your actors come up with something that could be theoretically funnier than what you had envisioned originally. ~ Jackie Schaffer

I do wish there were assless chaps. Not that I would wear them. But there is nothing funnier than the words assless chaps. ~ Qwen Salsbury

Jack: "We were in danger. We shall probably get pneumonia."
Mary: "Isch!"
"There! You're sneezing already."
"I am not sneezing. That was an exclamation of disgust."
"It sounded like a sneeze. It must have been, for you've every reason to sneeze; but why you should utter exclamations of disgust I cannot imagine."
"I'm disgusted with you - with your meanness. You deliberately tricked me into saying - - "
"Saying - - ?"
She was silent.
"What you said was that you loved me with all your heart and soul. You can't get away from that, and it's good enough for me."
"Well, it's not true any longer."
"Yes, it is," said Wilton, comfortably, "bless it."
"It is not. I'm going right away now, and I shall never speak to you again."
She moved away from him, and prepared to sit down.
"There's a jelly-fish just where you're going to sit," said Wilton.
"I don't care."
"It will. I speak from experience, as one on whom you have sat so often."
"I'm not amused."
"Have patience. I can be funnier than that." - Wilton's Holiday ~ P.G. Wodehouse

I like fat people more then I like thin people, things are always a lot more funnier when they happen to fat people. ~ Lloyd Kaufman

If a song is funny and absurd, and it sounds great, it's just going to be that much funnier. And there's no better example of that than 'Monty Python.' ~ Seth MacFarlane

In black neighborhoods, everybody appreciated comedy about real life. In the white community, fantasy was funnier. I started looking for the jokes that were equally hilarious across the board, for totally different reasons. ~ Will Smith

Nothing is funnier than confidently doing the wrong thing. ~ Adam McKay

I'm funnier now because I'm braver and less full of hate, so everything is even more ridiculous than it was before. ~ Roseanne Barr

I wanted to cut down on the profanity, because I think I'm funnier without sayin' a lot of cuss words. ~ Chris Tucker

Is God really real?"This is a perennial question for the philosophy of religion. Fortunately, the Pythons have answers to it. Perhaps too many answers. If we asked Arthur, King of the Britons, he would certainly testify that God exists, speaks English, and can't stand people groveling, averting their eyes, ceaselessly apologizing, and deeming themselves unworthy. Yet when we begin inquiring into Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, "there is some doubt" about whether God is really real, or, to put it more philosophically, there is doubt over whether God's existence can be established through a valid argument. There is a long philosophical tradition of constructing rational arguments for the existence and attributes of God, and an equally long skeptical tradition of deconstructing those same arguments. The Pythons have been exemplary participants in the latter tradition, either through parody, or by echoing in a funnier and more succinct way the skeptical arguments of such philosophical predecessors as Scottish philosopher David Hume (1711-1776). ~ George A. Reisch

There's a neon green post-it note stuck to the window ledge. It says DON'T EVEN TRY - R, in bold capital letters. Yeah, like I am going to listen to a sticky note from my captor.
...

DON'T EVEN TRY, my ass. It must be Reece's idea of a joke. Ha ha, so funny. It's going to be even funnier when I kick him in the balls the next time I see him. ~ Rebecca Espinoza

Even funnier, the guy at the front desk thinks I am either a hooker or having an affair with a married man. He was more than discrete."
"I would have guessed affair," I joked. ~ Andrea Heltsley

All right, it's a beach. I'm just messing with you."
"It would be funnier if we hadn't spent the last two days trying to hunt down the glitch."
"Did you find it?"
"Yes. The software seems to be submitting fake bug reports. Try to be serious."
"Try to not call me 'the software. ~ Bryce C. Anderson

Rather than change the content of my book, I changed the font. I think it made my book funnier. ~ Jarod Kintz

It's like love making, the foreplay is the biggest part, the same thing as comedy. If you can frame your show in such a way that the funny jokes become funnier. ~ Tommy Chong

There's no good reason to change a Neil Simon line. The day that I'm funnier than Neil Simon, Hell will be a very chilly place. ~ Jason Alexander

I thought about him trying not to laugh at the 'Molahonkey Song' on a night when the snow drifted gold past the window. I thought about the warm skin and soft hair and hands of someone living, someone who was far cleverer and funnier than I would ever be and who still couldn't see a better future than to obliterate himself. And finally, my head pressed into the pillow, I cried, because my life suddenly seemed so much darker and more complicated than I could ever have imagined, and I wished I could go back, back to when my biggest worry was whether Frank and I had ordered in enough Chelsea buns. ~ Jojo Moyes

Despite all their surface diversity, most jokes and funny incidents have the following logical structure: Typically you lead the listener along a garden path of expectation, slowly building up tension. At the very end, you introduce an unexpected twist that entails a complete reinterpretation of all the preceding data, and moreover, it's critical that the new interpretation, though wholly unexpected, makes as much "sense" of the entire set of facts as did the originally "expected" interpretation.
In this regard, jokes have much in common with scientific creativity, with what Thomas Kuhn calls a "paradigm shift" in response to a single "anomaly." (It's probably not coincidence that many of the most creative scientists have a great sense of humor.) Of course, the anomaly in the joke is the traditional punch line and the joke is "funny" only if the listener gets the punch line by seeing in a flash of insight how a completely new interpretation of the same set of facts can incorporate the anomalous ending.
The longer and more tortuous the garden path of expectation, the "funnier" the punch line when finally delivered. ~ V.S. Ramachandran

FASTER - don't talk down to the audience, take us for a spin, don't spell everything out for us, we're as smart as you - assume we can keep up; FUNNIER - entertain us, help us see how ridiculous and beautiful life can be, give us a reason to feel better about our flaws; LOUDER - deliver the story in the appropriate size, DON'T be indulgent or keep it to yourself, be generous - you're there to reach US." Barney takes a few gulps of air and beats his fist just once on his chest. "There you go, my dear. It might SOUND simple, but if I know you, you'll spend your life dedicated to getting it right. And that's it, my dear. THAT'S the whole banana. ~ Lauren Graham

You know we are flawed people, so if someone is going to make a movie about me, they don't have to make it up. My real flaws are much funnier. ~ Michael Moore

Our shows today are better and funnier than they've ever been. ~ Dick Smothers

All around the dining hall, you can feel the rejuvenating effect that a good meal can bring on. The way it can make people kinder, funnier, more optimistic, and remind them it's not a mistake to go on living. It's better than any medicine. ~ Suzanne Collins

And then 'Wanderlust,' Ken Marino and David Wain wrote the funniest - they're amazing. That was one of my most favorite creative experiences; we're all up at that commune, a small group of people. Everyone was funnier than the next. It was an amazing ensemble feeling. Everyone gave and took in the best way. ~ Kathryn Hahn

How do text messages make you feel existential?
I start thinking about exactly that: how people can edit a thought before sending it out to the world. They can make themselves seem more well spoken than they are, or funnier, smarter. I start thinking that no one in the world is who they say the are, then my mind goes to how I also edit myself, not just online but in real life, except for those rare instances like right now where I'm ranting- even though that's a lie because I've had this train of thought before and damned if I didn't tweak it in my head a few times to make it sound better- and then my mind starts racing so furiously I can't control my thoughts, and I start thinking about robots and wondering if I'm even a real person. ~ Adi Alsaid

It's great to work with the people who make you laugh and who are funnier than I am. ~ Ben Stiller

It is a challenge. When you do things that are comedy, you're having to look at the funnier side of life. Often I find Christians - but not just Christians, (any) people who have a certain core belief of things - don't like to have fun made of them at all. ~ Corbin Bernsen

I may have done some other things as good but I am sure none better. I haven't matured, progressed, grown, become deeper, wiser, or funnier. But then, I never thought I would. (Peter Cook about Beyond the Fringe) ~ Peter Cook

Words can be more lethal than blades, Magnus. And Loki is a master of words. To beat him, you must find your inner poet. Only one thing can give you a chance to beat Loki at his own game."
"Mead," I guessed. "Kvasir's Mead."
The answer didn't sit right with me. I'd been on the streets long enough to see how well "mead" improved people's skills. Pick your poison: beer, wine, vodka, whiskey. Folks claimed they needed it to get through the day. They called it liquid courage. It made them funnier, smarter, more creative. Except it didn't. It just made them less able to tell how unfunny and stupid they were acting. ~ Rick Riordan

I think cheese smells funny, but I feel bananas 'are' funny. I'm assuming Swamp told the whole story of the executives seriously asking us to replace the banana with cheese because they thought it was funnier. ~ Joe Murray

I was bored on the 9th of Octover 1940 when, I believe, the Nasties were still booming us led by Madolf Heatlump (who only had one). Anyway they didn't get me. I attended to varicous schools in Liddypol. And still didn't pass
much to my Aunties supplies. As a member of the most publified Beatles my (P, G, and R's) records might seem funnier to some of you than this book, but as far as I'm conceived this correction of short writty is the most wonderfoul larf I've every ready.
God help and breed you all. ~ John Lennon

I've been lucky enough to play some funny, nasty ladies in my day, and if you can make them foolish, they're even funnier. ~ Kelly Bishop

I believe that when people try to live their life at the fullest, there's a certain laughter that comes out of it. The more they try to live their life seriously, the funnier it is. It happens all the time in our real life. ~ Takashi Miike

I always think everyone else is funnier than me. I look at other comedians and I say, 'I wish I was that good.' People think I'm funny, and I say, 'I'm not.' ~ Carrot Top

I remember working with Jackie Chan on Shanghai Noon [2000], and when we were working on the script, I thought that my character thought about being an outlaw the way a kid today would think about being a rock star, as a way to impress girls. So it was just kind of a funny idea, but once we had that idea, it changed the character and made it something that was funnier to me to play. ~ Owen Wilson

Everything is funnier in retrospect, funnier and prettier and cooler. You can laugh at anything from far enough away. ~ Chuck Palahniuk

Allyson Smith reminds me of a younger, prettier, funnier me. Now if you'll excuse me, the ladies from my bridge club have arrived. ~ Stewart Francis

You can't just play crazy. It makes you push yourself to stay in the realm of reality. And when you do that, it's a lot funnier. That's my favorite, when you think it's a real strange person and not just someone being wacky. ~ Melissa McCarthy

The only way physical comedy works is if you don't see it coming. And the harder the fall, the funnier it is. You have to really take some shots, and I've walked away with some bumps and bruises. ~ Chris Pratt

He insists on a version of you that is funnier, stranger, more eccentric and prfound thatn you suspect yourself to be
capable of doing more good and more harm in the world than you've ever imagined
it is all but impossible not to believe, at least in his presence and a while after you've left him, that he alone sees through your essence, weighs your true qualities ... and appreciates you more fully than anyone else ever has. ~ Michael Cunningham

To Canadians, everyone is equal. Joni Mitchell is interchangeable with a secretary at open-mic night. Frank Gehry is no greater than a hack pumping out McMansions on AutoCAD. John Candy is no funnier than Uncle Lou when he gets a couple of beers in him. No wonder the only Canadians anyone's ever heard of are the ones who have gotten the hell out. Anyone with talent who stayed would be flattened under an avalanche of equality. ~ Maria Semple

He made her more confident, funnier, smarter. He brought out all the things that were there already and let her be fully herself, so she seemed to shine with this inner light. He loved her so much, he made her seem even more lovable. ~ Liane Moriarty

I don't think Will does get upstaged because his reaction is always funnier than what is actually happening. That is also the reason Tommy is funnier than Will. ~ Barry Sonnenfeld

It is the custom on the stage: in all good, murderous melodramas: to present the tragic and the comic scenes, in as regular alternation, as the layers of red and white in a side of streaky, well-cured bacon. The hero sinks upon his straw bed, weighed down by fetters and misfortunes; and, in the next scene, his faithful but unconscious squire regales the audience with a comic song. We behold, with throbbing bosoms, the heroine in the grasp of a proud and ruthless baron: her virtue and her life alike in danger; drawing forth a dagger to preserve the one at the cost of the other; and, just as our expectations are wrought up to the highest pitch, a whistle is heard: and we are straightway transported to the great hall of the castle: where a grey-headed seneschal sings a funny chorus with a funnier body of vassals, who are free of all sorts of places from church vaults to palaces, and roam about in company, carolling perpetually.

Such changes appear absurd; but they are not so unnatural as they would seem at first sight. The transitions in real life from well-spread boards to death-beds, and from mourning weeds to holiday garments, are not a whit less startling; only, there, we are busy actors, instead of passive lookers-on; which makes a vast difference. The actors in the mimic life of the theatre, are blind to violent transitions and abrupt impulses of passion or feeling, which, presented before the eyes of mere spectators, are at once condemned as outrageous and prep ~ Charles Dickens

He blinked a few times, each motion so slow that he was never quite sure if he'd get his eyes open again. He wasn't wearing a shirt. Funny how he was only just realizing it. Funnier still that he couldn't seem to summon any concern for her maidenly sensibilities.
She might be blushing. He couldn't tell. It was too dark to see. But it didn't matter. This was Honoria. She was a good egg. A sensible egg. She wouldn't be scarred forever by the sight of his chest. ~ Julia Quinn

We're not unique in our family. We're more ambitious but we're not special. I'm not funnier than anyone else in my family; it's just that we wanted more than Raleigh, North Carolina, had to offer. If my brother wanted more than Raleigh had to offer, you would know his name. My sister Lisa has a really unique and different voice, but she doesn't want that. She's a fine writer, but never said, "I want a book. I want that kind of attention." ~ David Sedaris

Great beauties and stunningly handsome men were accorded virtues: people found them funnier, smarter, more insightful than they actually were. ~ Brent Weeks

Reading good books doesn't necessarily make one a good person - or a smarter, funnier, or more cultivated person, either. ~ Maureen Corrigan

I'm thankful my parents obliged me to live with the unvarnished truth: I might not have been a looker, but I was a better speller than the prettiest girl in my class, and I was funnier, too. ~ Laurie Graham

Sometimes the name is funnier than the game itself ... ~ Andy Cohen

And like most big families, they were loud and secretly thought they were funnier and a little more special than everyone else. ~ Jennifer Close

The whole object of comedy is to be yourself and the closer you get to that, the funnier you will be. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

I was raised to believe that you had to do things better than white people in order to succeed. The old black shows were better than the white shows. The Jeffersons was a lot better. Good Times was way funnier. Sanford and Son. Now, though, everyone thinks we're equal, so we submit the same s ... that everyone else submits. And then we get mad when they won't air it. You got to go back to the old attitude of it has to be twice as good. ~ Chris Rock

There's nothing funnier than a giant, grown man rollerblading. ~ Chris Pratt

This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are. ~ Art Buchwald

I've always enjoyed watching characters that aren't aware that they're doing anything funny. And I think that inherently makes them funnier. ~ Steve Carell

If some glorious angel descended into my living room and offered to exchange my children for other, better children-brighter, kinder, funnier, more loving, more disciplined, more accomplished-I would clutch the ones I have and, like most parents, pray away the atrocious specter. ~ Andrew Solomon

It's getting funnier because everybody's categories are disintegrating, and the cult of political correctness dictates that we never point out that other people don't make sense. ~ Terence McKenna

Appear tougher or cooler or funnier than you feel and there is a chance you'll make it. ~ Craig Ferguson

Obviously, my stuff has been more in the comedy realm, and I really believe that if I'm laughing behind the camera, then I think the film will be funnier. ~ Will Packer

Win or lose, the crows always laughed
the hard, old jaded laughter that came of looking at the world with a black and practiced eye. From the less skillful the laugh might have hinted of despair, or silliness, like the magpies', but the crows were masters of the wry outlook, and Viv never heard them but what she followed their expert lead and laughed along
they knew the secret of black, that it could not be made blacker, and if neither could it be made lighter, it could still be made funnier. ~ Ken Kesey

I'm really excited to share the movie [Swiss Army Man] with people, so I'm glad that people are seeing it. And I want them to, because I think it's a really fun movie to experience sitting next to people. It makes it funnier. It makes it more comfortable. It makes it sweeter. ~ Paul Dano

I'm actually way more funny now, because I'm hungry ... If comedy comes from pain, I should be funnier now than I ever was. ~ Seth Rogen

Books or people, you ask. It's a difficult choice, I've got to say. I don't know whether people mean more than books - they're definitely not nicer or funnier or more comforting ... but still, however much I twist and turn the question, I've got to opt for people in the long run. I hope you don't lose all confidence in me now that I've admitted that.
I can't for the life of me explain why I have the bad sense to prefer people. If you went purely by numbers, then books would win hands down. I've loved maybe a handful of people in my entire life, compared with tens or maybe even hundreds of books (and here I'm counting only those books I've really loved, the kind that make you happy just to look at them, that make you smile regardless of what else is happening in your life, that you always turn back to like an old friend and can remember exactly where you first "met" them - I'm sure you know just what I'm talking about). But that handful of people you love ... they're surely worth just as much as all those books. ~ Katarina Bivald

If it's something I feel I can do alright, I like being in those, and some that I think Schneider and Spade would be funnier at than me, I tell them to do it. I don't have any clue how we decide. There's this thing, this Click actually, one of my friends called me up, my partner told me about this idea that Steve Koren had. Steve Koren, by the way, the guy who wrote it with Mark O'Keefe, Steve Koren I've known since I was 22. He was a page at Saturday Night Live. ~ Adam Sandler

Maybe your aunt is funny in quiet moments with her friends because like many women her age, she was taught to not draw attention to herself. And maybe she also noticed how men of her generation weren't attracted to the women who spoke out of turn and uttered their own opinions out loud. And certainly these types of men weren't attracted to women who were funnier than them. Women have always been funny. They just weren't interested in sharing their jokes with you. Truth in point, my mom is hilarious. She has also been single since 1974. ~ W. Kamau Bell

Though I had never written a memoir, I was confident that given enough time, I could do a serviceable job. Not elegant, but blunt, informative and funnier than most readers would expect. ~ Madeleine K. Albright

There's a sort of magic and music to comedy. Some words, some numbers even, are funnier than others. A Caramac bar, for instance, is funnier than a Milky Way. ~ David Walliams

There's always going to be someone as funny as you or funnier. ~ Will Ferrell

Louie is hugely talented. But I get very annoyed at the way the media ... say, 'Louis C.K. is the greatest stand-up in the world.' He's not the greatest stand-up in the world. He's not funnier than Dave Attell. ~ Andy Kindler

I thought about the warm skin and soft hair and hands of someone living, someone who was far cleverer and funnier than I would ever be and who still couldn't see a better future than to obliterate himself. ~ Jojo Moyes

In comedy, falling means laughter. You can take something sacred and make it silly. The more sacred it is, the funnier it is. It has a bigger drop to fall. ~ Bo Burnham

It is funnier to bend things than to break them. ~ W.C. Fields

It's much funnier when the comedy can happen with me just trying my best to genuinely do a good thing. ~ Nathan Fielder

Nothing is funnier than unhappiness. ~ Samuel Beckett

The funnier the material, the funnier I could make it. ~ Ruth Buzzi

I'm screamingly funny, you know, I really am in the books. And that helps because I'm funnier than a lot of people, I think, and that's appreciated by young people. ~ Kurt Vonnegut

In a comedy, after the day is done, you can figure out ways of how to make it even funnier for the next day. In dramas, it's very different - the mindset that you're in. ~ Gael Garcia Bernal

These are my recollections. If you remember things differently, send me your version - but only if it's funnier. ~ Debbie Reynolds

Australia seems like a really faraway Canada, just with funnier animals. ~ Nadia Bolz-Weber

Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier. ~ Dov Davidoff

but Yossarian had proof, because strangers he didn't know shot at him with cannons every time he flew up into the air to drop bombs on them, and it wasn't funny at all. And if that wasn't funny, there were lots of things that weren't even funnier. ~ Joseph Heller

Patrick thought we should try to put an audience in front of one of the workshops, basically in front of the class and see how the performers rose to having an audience there, because he said, "You know, it's a really interesting test, because sometimes it gets even funnier." ~ Brian Henson

I think, with certain characters, you have to listen. Sometimes, listening can be funnier: the thing you don't say is the one-liner. That's the ying to the yang. ~ Ray Santiago

There are times over different projects when I've asked the writers why people are swearing for no good reason. I tell them that it would be funnier if there weren't these swear words. ~ John Ratzenberger

Sex is pretty funny, let's face it. And the more seriously we take ourselves, the funnier sex gets, I think. ~ Betty White

Feedback smile. Smiling itself produces a weak feeling of happiness. The facial feedback hypothesis proposes that ". . . involuntary facial movements provide sufficient peripheral information to drive emotional experience" (Bernstein et al. 2000). According to Davis and Palladino (2000), ". . . feedback from facial expression [e.g., smiling or frowning] affects emotional expression and behavior." In one study, e.g., participants were instructed to hold a pencil in their mouths, either between their lips or between their teeth. The latter, who were able to smile, rated cartoons funnier than did the former, who could not smile (Davis and Palladino 2000). ~ David B. Givens

When you do your comedy and your drama, your acting style doesn't change. If it's a comedy, the situations and the characters might be a little funnier, but you're just trying to be honest. ~ Jonah Hill

One of my daughters told me the other day, "Kevin Hart is funnier than you, Daddy." I told her, "Does Kevin Hart make you pancakes?" ~ Chris Rock

If you can socialize from the privacy of your desk at night in a dark room, you can be a smoother, cooler, funnier, sexy, more everything person than you actually are in real life. ~ Aaron Sorkin

She's wonderful and soulful. She has a sly sense of humor. I've seen her deliver a funnier joke with a single silent raise of her eyebrow than many stand up comedians. She guards a very sensitive heart. Any human suffering brings her to tears. She's smart. Talk down to her and find yourself mentally slapped. She's an excellent judge of character, and seems to know an original spirit from a forgery every time. Cross boundaries with her...in any improper way and suffer the wrath of a lion. ... She's principled and firm. Rude behavior doesn't materialize in her presence. She's a grown-up who fully sees and knows children as citizens, and people, and souls. And because she respects children, all children seem to respect her. ~ Shonda Rhimes

Greg Gutfeld is funnier than all the smart people I know, and smarter than all the funny people I know. I don't know what that makes him. But one of the smartest, funniest people I know, is fair to say. ~ Matt Labash

The older I get the funnier I get ... Think what I'll save in not having my face lifted. ~ Linda Martin

My real life is funnier than anything on TV. ~ Roseanne Barr

I do three drafts handwritten and then it's typed up ... They are different from each other, they are hopefully improvements in the sense you're going back over something. The first time you write it, it's the first thing that you can think. The second time you're trying to shape the dialogue, helping the characters. The third time you're doing it because you want the words to sound nice, hopefully making the prose better, making it more fun to read, making the jokes funnier and the scary bits scarier. ~ Clive Barker

If you watch a lot of television, the pacing, the quick cutting is so frenetic, but it doesn't always make it funnier. What I'm noticing is that when things are allowed to unspool more slowly, younger crowds really like it. They really appreciate it. ~ Conan O'Brien

They sometimes beat things into the ground. They don't know when to get out of a situation. They think the more you pound the nail into the ground, the funnier it gets. That's not necessarily true. ~ Jamie Farr

No, it's that fun we have. It's real. I'm so thankful they cast good, funny, interesting, warm, kind people in "Castle", because we blend very well together. At this point it's like a family. We help each other. I constantly ask them: "What's funnier: if I do this or I do that?" And I don't think we care anymore about looking weak or unprofessional. We all just want the best for each other and for the show. ~ Seamus Dever

Clevinger really thought he was right, but Yossarian had proof, because strangers he didn't know shot at him with cannons every time he flew up into the air to drop bombs on them, and it wasn't funny at all. And if that wasn't funny, there were lots of things that weren't even funnier. There was nothing funny about living like a bum in a tent in Pianosa between fat mountains behind him and a placid blue sea in front that could gulp down a person with a cramp in the twinkling of an eye and ship him back to shore three days later, all charges paid, bloated, blue and putrescent, water draining out through both cold nostrils. ~ Joseph Heller