Adam Sandler Quotes

I do want children. I study dads more. I watch what they go through. I admire my father more than I ever did and my brother and my sister.

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

It definitely has learning a lesson about the way you're living your life. I wouldn't compare our movie to that, but it has a structure where it's about a man who doesn't appreciate all that he has and finds out at the end that life has been great and he has to enjoy that.

I've got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I'm the only person who ever tried that.

I bought my parents some stuff. That feels kind of good to be able to do that. I got them a place in Florida. I think I'm allowed to say that - I hope my dad doesn't get mad at me. But I don't spend money on myself. I don't like myself enough yet. But the people I love, I like spending the cash on them.

It's just weird that out of nowhere God said, May the three best-looking guys in Hollywood have babies - Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt and me. It was bizarre that God said, I want to make the planet more beautiful, and I got the call.

I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.

In one day, I have times where I'm feeling great, I feel like I love my life, and then 2:30 rolls around and I'm the angriest man alive. My wife sees it.

The idea of my kids being spoiled, I go to sleep thinking about it. I wake up thinking about. I'm trying to do the right thing. With the amount of money I have, it's difficult to raise children the way I was raised. But I took away the west and north wing of the house for those guys. So, they're not allowed in there.

Doing Saturday Night Live definitely affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone's grown to accept that and so they give me my space at the show.

I don't know what the hell I'm doing; I like what I've been doing. I believe in what I've done in the past and I hope to make a movie that; I hope my kid enjoys the movies I've made and enjoys some of the movies in the future.

I've always wanted to do a family movie.

I've been called a moron since I was about four. My father called me a moron. My grandfather said I was a moron. And a lot of times when I'm driving, I hear I'm a moron. I like being a moron.

I'm pretty hot, right? Very hot, if I may say so myself. Don't you feel the sex I'm radiating?

I've got the kid. I feel a little more relief that I don't have to just think about myself too much.

It's nice when little teams win.

How do I speak Spanish? Not too well.

Well, we're living in a material world, and I'm a material girl ... or boy.

Never seen my friends do more push-ups, trying to challenge Cruises' manhood. It was like, I can be strong, too!

I don't like being on a horse. That's the only negative of doing a Western. I like the whole get up, and I look great in a hat. But I get tense around horses. So, if they could make a fake horse, then I'd do a Western.

I did rocks, all this dumb stuff. But now it's just trying to stay afloat and just get through the days.

My kids don't have a trust fund, they have a debt fund.

SNL is a home. You've got all of your brothers and sisters there, and it's a great time.

When I was younger and did a stand-up gig, it would take me two weeks to recover. Sometimes I'd get so panicked that I would stutter.

When I do stand-up shows at colleges, girls will talk to me after the show, and that always feels good. I like talking to them.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

I'm not comfortable being around too many people. I don't like being out in public too much. I don't like going to bars. I don't like doing celebrity stuff. So most of the characters I play are people who don't always feel comfortable beyond their small circle of friends.

I wish I was a better athlete. That would have been a little cooler, being a great boxer and walking into a room and going: "I can knock everybody out!" That's a good feeling.

Hanukkah is ... the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

I'm sure everyone's got their back story. I don't come from a place of where I was tortured and needed to let something out. I came from a very happy home. I was a little out of control at times. But my family ... we all liked to be funny, we all liked to make each other laugh.

I never want movie theaters go away. It is the greatest time out on the town. You go out, it's a great place to go, great location, great hang, great date, good place to be with friends. But as an actor who works hard at making movies, I am glad that no matter what people can see your movie on. It's hard to keep a theater for long time; there are so many movies, so when you leave a theater, you're just glad there's a life for your movie.

I definitely connected to the fact that life gets out of control and you end up doing things and wishing you were doing other things instead.

Mama says that, happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feeling blue ...

God gave me some weird, beautiful scent that makes men and women go crazy. People compare it to Carvel. It is a whale of a smell.

I had my moments of being humiliated, and then I had moments of doing something humiliating. I'm glad I lived out both roles.

I can't run a company ... I can't even run my own life!

I'm getting older, and it happens. You don't care as much. I don't care about too much anymore. I've got to think about that a little bit.

I prefer musicals, because I am the best dancer who ever lived. The best plies, the best sashays, and by far the best-smelling Capezios.

Comedy, such a lovely lady, she'll pick you up, you your feeling blue.

My father wasn't perfect. He had a temper. I took some of that. He would snap, but the older he got, he started calming down. He learned about life, but the thing that he taught my whole family was that family was the most important thing and, no matter what, if a family member needs you, you go and help them out; you get there.

I'm not making every decision due to my children. But I do hope they never see some movies I'm doing. But I do want to do more family-friendly movies.

I still like doing stand-up now, but it's not the same. It used to be that I was out there with five other comedians. Now I usually just do it alone.

We just bought this house. It's too big. It's like 400,000 square feet, or something. We got an indoor lake and ski slope in the house! It's just too big.

In high school I wanted to be a rock star and was in a lot of bands.

I'm just looking to make good movies and looking to be as good as I can be in them and that's about it. But I feel much more comfortable doing a comedy, but the fact that I got to try a few dramas, I feel I've tested myself a little bit.

I can handle pain.

I've always had lots of friends and my house was the house they all hung out at.

I'm not great at bedtime stories. Bedtime stories are supposed to put the kid to sleep. My kid gets riled up and then my wife has to come in and go, 'All right! Get out of the room.'

I choose to ignore hell in my life. When I was a little kid I asked my Dad "Am I going to go to hell?" because I'd heard about hell. And he said, "Nothing you're gonna do will get you into hell." And so I got to ignore it.

Bedtime stories were definitely a big part of my life because I was just so excited my father was talking to me.

I don't like being out in public too much. I don't like going to bars. I don't like doing celebrity stuff.

I finished a big book the other day. 421 pages. That's a lot of coloring when you think about it.

I never had a speech from my father 'this is what you must do or shouldn't do' but I just learned to be led by example. My father wasn't perfect.

As a kid, I'd go into the bathroom when I was having a tantrum. I'd be in the bathroom crying, studying myself in the mirror. I was preparing for future roles.

Sometimes you can't prioritise family and you feel guilty.

I think I'm playing grown up because I have kids now. But I don't feel grown up yet.

My father used to wear the same pants for like a week.

I've always liked older ladies, ever since my mother would have B'nai B'rith at our house.

I'm in a mood, Dave. A bad mood, a very bad mood! I was fired from my ice cream truck job today! No more Fudgicles!

If it's something I feel I can do alright, I like being in those, and some that I think Schneider and Spade would be funnier at than me, I tell them to do it. I don't have any clue how we decide. There's this thing, this Click actually, one of my friends called me up, my partner told me about this idea that Steve Koren had. Steve Koren, by the way, the guy who wrote it with Mark O'Keefe, Steve Koren I've known since I was 22. He was a page at Saturday Night Live.

You've just got to give yourself time - that's good advice I think. Give yourself time to figure out what you're good at and what you're not good at.

I'd like to have a kid, and I'd like to be driving around. I know a kid is going to be a big part of my life. I can trust my kid. I know my kid would be in the backseat of my car, and when I say You wanna get some ice-cream? he's going to be happy. My brother has kids. I see that trick work, the ice cream trick.

With the amount of money I have, it's difficult raising children the way I was raised.

When I'm up there, and I know the show's coming to a close, in my head I'm saying to myself, Oh man, you gotta get off and be a normal person again. That's what I don't like so much.

Back to school to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool.

I do feel good doing them [family-friendly movies], but it's not going to be my way of life. I'm a comedian.

When you're shooting a movie you are away from home most of the time. It's an amazing thing that we get to do what we get to do, but you definitely are away from the family more than you'd like to be.

If a girl breaks up with me, I want her to just die, just be dead. Not 'cause I hate her so much as it's just easier for when my friends go, 'Hey, what happened?' 'Oh, she's dead. I'd still be with her, but she's dead. What can I do? She was loving me, but she's dead.'

Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!

Wedding Singer taught us we shouldnt be afraid of making people feel emotional in the middle of the movie, rather than just dealing with comedy,

I like sitting and writing with my buddies.

He has a 5 year plan ... What is it, don't die?

I'm not looking to get away from anything. I like what I've done. I like what I get to do and I enjoy working with my friends. I loved those movies, but this is incredible.

My buddies, we've always just tried to make each other laugh. I mean, just like all friends hanging out - that's the goal.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest

I still get very scared when I step in front of a live audience.

My hobbies are run-on sentences.

When I'm around the kids I feel like I act the most grown-up just because you're supposed to. And I say things, like every other day, that remind me of my own parents.

I do love the films I've done in the past. I work hard in my movies and my friends work hard and we're trying to make people laugh and I'm very proud of that.

One night I couldn't sleep. It was like 2:00 in the morning. I was thinking, 'What can I do?' I'm watching TV. I'm like, 'Let me do something else.' I'm not going to fall asleep for a few hours. What are my hobbies? There was the masturbation option. I skipped that because just knowing my kids are down the hall I felt psychotic. So, I went with watching more TV. I couldn't come up with anything. I was going, 'God, read a book.' Then I was like this, 'Where do I keep the books?' I've got nothing to do but watch TV.

Put on your yarmulkahHere comes HannukahSo much funnukahTo celebrate Hannukah

My sisters are stronger and my brother's bigger than me.

Girls are soft and pretty.

Now that I'm a parent, I understand why my father was in a bad mood a lot.

I guess in my house when I was growing up, I was comfortable trying to be funny. And my dad, of course, it bugged him sometimes. He was trying to rest, and I was constantly trying to say something stupid to get a reaction. But I like doing these movies. You can do it in front of the camera and then it's over. I don't have to worry about being in front of too many people.

The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me. So I don't know if I'll ever be as good a dad as my dad.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

I read to my kid, but I can't stand reading.

I'm filthy rich!

Paul Newman's half Jewishand Florence Henderson's half, tooPut them together,What a fine looking Jew!

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink.
Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

I'm a big fan of money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I'd like to put more in that jar. That's where you come in.

We [ with Andy Samberg] knew each other for the last few years, our names are similar, our looks are a little bit similar, and our backgrounds are similar. The Judaism is quite similar.

You know, when you don't go on TV and talk about how many women you sleep with, some people in Hollywood, that are supposedly 'in the know,' start whispering that you're gay. If I were gay, I wouldn't be ashamed to admit it, but I'm not.

My name is Adam Sandler. I'm not particularly talented. I'm not particularly good-looking. And yet I'm a multi-millionaire.

I wanted to make sure that I did one movie in my career that mothers hug me for.

My comedy is different every time I do it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

I'm filthy rich! It's good to be Adam Sandler!

I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile.

A lot of critics object to what I do, but I got into comedy to make people laugh, and I've always worked hard.