Melissa McCarthy Quotes

I've been trying to play old-lady parts since I was in my 20s, so I look forward to all of that.

My back was just destroyed after pregnancy. I almost had to have surgery, until I did Pilates and rebuilt my body.

When I was 22, I met with some janky manager, and she told me, 'You're never going to work at this weight.' I think I was a size 6 at the time. There is just this weird thing about how we perceive women in this country. I would love to be a part of breaking that down.

My parents are kind and accepting. Because so many of my friends were gay, it was just an accepted thing in my house. I was very lucky.

You look much better when you're comfy.

It's like I'm managing to achieve all this success in spite of my affliction ... Would you ever put that in the headline for a male star?

Somebody ripped their pants open at my wedding, dipping my mother. My mother is not a lady who throws herself into a dip that often, so I don't think he thought she was really going to do it.

I wore white kabuki makeup, had blue-black hair. At one point, I shaved an inch and a half around my hairline and continued the white makeup up so it made my head look slightly deformed. I thought it was hilarious.

I was always Missy, never Melissa. I went to college, and I thought it was so much more interesting to go by a different name, and then it just kind of stuck.

I'm always tinkering with something - suddenly I'll think I can work with wood, but then I'll realize I can't, so I go back to sewing.

I could eat healthier; I could drink less.

I've never been interested in playing the boring ingenue.

I'm really happy in my life.

Hollywood wants to make women so perfect. Perfect hair. Perfect job. Perfect manners ... I know some of the most beautiful women, and they are so weird. That's what makes them funny and captivating.

I went to school for clothing and textiles and thought this is what I was going to do. Then I started working in costumes and literally said, 'I don't know if I can take the actors.'

I think there are people who really love the comfort of their small town, and there are people who feel stuck by it.

I have caught my reflection and thought, 'Oof. That girl is struggling. That girl is tired.' I've had mornings where I'm like, 'Oh God, I have weird hair.'

Women are complicated and messy and we are certainly not perfect, but we are funny and challenging and kind, and I wouldn't change a thing

I refuse to give energy to the negative. I've got a great fella and two great little girls.

I don't really know why I'm not thinner than I am.

I'm not a crazy germophobe; I have kids, and that ship has sailed.

I'm very boring. But I'm a bit obsessed with women that are so incredibly solid in their shoes that they don't care what other people think of them. I just think there's something so interesting about that kind of confidence.

We have some of the most rock-solid, lovely friends in the world.

I have blocks of wood all over my house; I spend all of my day knocking!

I want pockets in my dresses. I put pockets in everything! I want pockets inside my pockets.

I don't sleep, but I've got two little kids that don't sleep, either.

When I go shopping, most of the time I'm disappointed.

It's funny; as I get older I'm reverting to my roots - I want to plant stuff.

I just don't lose weight easily.

I just think we tear down women in this country for all these superficial reasons, and women are so great and strong.

Funny is funny, and it can come in 8 billion different shades and flavors, so I think it's silly to kind of limit it.

I didn't wear jeans for, like, a decade of my life.

I think the reason I'm an actress is because I love playing kind of a more extreme people.

In my 20s, I used to cry about why I wasn't thinner or prettier, but I want to add that I also used to cry about things like, 'I wish my hair would grow faster. I wish I had different shoes ... ' I was an idiot ... It's a decade of tears.

I love a woman who's solid in her shoes.

I don't know any neighborhoods where everyone's walking around in seven-inch heels and perfect makeup.

I believe it matters how you treat people. I believe in Heaven. I don't believe that this is it, and then we're done. I have a lovely relationship with God, although when I've lost someone or I've seen a sick child, I've had conversations with Him in which I've had to ask, 'How can that be right?'

There are a lot of funny women in my life. I never understand those movies where there's eight funny guys and two women who don't have any opinion or humour.

I'll do almost anything for a laugh.

I'm like a three-and-a-half, four-hour-a-night sleeper. It's not enough to function.

I've watched women being hideously unattractive, personality-wise and physically, all the time. But these women never end up on screen.

Nothing's more charming than someone who doesn't take herself too seriously.

Everybody's a train wreck in their own very special way. But there's something wildly freeing about someone who's unapologetic, who knows they're a wreck and doesn't even try to hide it, just bulldozes through life.

I'm certainly not shy, but I like playing it because I love those characters that are incredibly confident but really still a mess.

The letters I really love are from young actresses who were worried they had to fit a certain look. They say I've opened it up. And I don't just mean plus-size girls. You can push things now. With all the great performances in 'Bridesmaids', it changed how people see funny women.

I'm not a great pregnant woman.

I think if anyone tells you the odds are slim, just keep walking. Just do whatever the hell you want to do, because they don't know what they're talking about. When you love something, and you work really really hard at it, you can do it.

I've always had mostly gay male friends.

Sometimes I wish I were just magically a size 6 and I never had to give it a single thought.

Part of being young is you think gaining 6 lbs. is the end of the world.

Strangers shouldn't be allowed to take a picture of your child and sell it for profit.

I just figure if it has my name on it, and I want to make people feel good about wearing it, I can't pass it off.

I love a house project.

I've grown to love L.A., but it's the most socially awkward place. All these people have come there not to be something but to pretend to be someone trying to be someone.

I just think that wigs and makeup and costumes completely transform me.

I see teenagers or people who are 21 and think, 'I was an idiot at that age.' I was running around New York like a crazy woman. Thank God I only had three and a half cents to my name. I was too immature to handle success then.

When I believe in something, I'm like a dog with a bone.

Comedy to me is all about the bumps and bruises and weird tics.

Do I sometimes hope I wake up in the morning and people are like, 'What's wrong with her? She looks emaciated.' Of course I would love that. I'm such a clothes whore, I would love the opportunity to be a hanger. But I think I'm more confident than I've ever felt in my life.

Some days, I want to be prim and proper, and others, I want to be in a band.

When I read a character that I really, really love, I know immediately what they look like. It's like I want to 100 percent become that person.

I think everything that any actor does, I would assume, is shaped by how and where they grew up.

Even when someone gets to looking like she should be so proud of herself, instead she's like, 'I could be another three pounds less; I could be a little taller and have bigger lips.'

I feel like I got hit with a lucky stick.

Ben and I have absolutely nothing to do with the Hollywood that's all actors and the Sunset Strip. We crave talking to people who do different things and are passionate about it.

I laugh my head off every day with my husband and my kids, who are mooning me and singing me songs.

Ben and I live like hermits. The night of a concert, we'll be like, 'Do you think we can get tickets?' And everybody is like, 'No, why didn't you do this earlier?'

I feel intensely guilty for working ... You have to be able to provide for your kids. But I feel like it's a weird modern phenomenon that you always feel guilty for it.

I am not a princess, I don't want to be referred to as a princess - I find that super creepy.

I make a mean coconut macaroon.

The average size of a woman is 14.

I would love to be directed by more women.

I was never sullen. I was a terrible punk - I was still so chatty.

Part of being young is you thinking that gaining 6 lbs. Is the end of the world

I do think comedy needs to be a living thing, but I think without a great script and fully realized characters, you cannot keep it living. Otherwise, it just becomes long and rambling, indulgent. So I think you need both, frankly.

If somebody's doing something, and you're laughing, and at the same time you're so embarrassed for them, it's my absolute kind of favorite type of laugh.

I love to watch someone who just goes for it and isn't worried about whether it's silly or awkward or unflattering.

You can't just play crazy. It makes you push yourself to stay in the realm of reality. And when you do that, it's a lot funnier. That's my favorite, when you think it's a real strange person and not just someone being wacky.

I lived on a farm in Illinois, and we didn't have a lot of money. But I lived vicariously through magazines. I was obsessed with Jean Paul Gaultier. I still have the scrapbooks, and I've kept all my designs and sketches.

I will embarrass my kids to their core. I will threaten to show up in hot pants and a tube top. Their dad will drive me. And he'll let me and my friend Lisa get pretty drunk in the backseat, and we will come into that party and just rip it up.

I should be learning another language and working out more, but I'm just always saying, 'Ah, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow.'

I want to be healthy.

I've never felt like I needed to change. I've always thought, 'If you want somebody different, pick somebody else.' But sure, criticism can sometimes still get to me. Some things are so malicious, they knock the wind out of you.

I didn't really know how to write jokes, so I just told weird, long stories about being tall and beautiful and wealthy in New York. I'd tell them very seriously, but I kind of looked like a drag queen at the time with big wigs and crazy 12-inch platform heels.