Clint Bowyer Funny Quotes

I lean on a lot of drivers. I have a dirt racing background so I gravitate towards asking for advice from drivers who also dirt race, people like Clint Bowyer since dirt racers seem to have a similar driving style and like the car set up similarly. ~ Austin Dillon

I know it's a lot of fun for you guys to write a lot of wacky things. Go ahead, if you want to. Get creative. But don't look too much into it. ~ Clint Bowyer

Confidence is a big part of any sport, but as far as sports psycholgy, I met with one last year before the season, and hell I just felt stupid after that, so I try to stay out of there. ~ Clint Bowyer

The only healing I've ever known is getting back in that race car - for all us racers. ~ Clint Bowyer

Love is a damage
made to the heart,
violence,
fate thats written,
Changeable by distance,
Breakable by time ... ! ~ Honey Father

I am not gonna say that a guy's looks make him have to try harder in any way. I don't believe that at all. I think if he is funny, smart and cool, he's all set. Looks are not very important to me. ~ Valerie Azlynn

I remember watching 'Colombo' a lot with my dad. That was one of the first detective shows I remember watching. And I remember my dad turning to me - my dad loves to turn to me and explain why things are funny. He used to do that with 'Seinfeld' all the time. He did it with 'Colombo', too, set the scene. ~ Stephanie Beatriz

Her brain is like a filing cabinet – everything neatly stored in categories. My brain is more like soup – everything all blended and mushed together. ~ Cat Clarke

Steve Rannazzisi, Nick Kroll, Paul Scheer, Jon Lajoie - and they're such funny guys that they bring their own sort of twist to it all. ~ Katie Aselton

A poor creature who has said or done nothing worth a serious man taking the trouble of remembering. ~ Thomas Carlyle

One of the things that is always difficult about a collaboration is that you don't necessarily find the same thing funny. And so the challenge becomes, how do you tell the other person that you don't think something's funny? The best collaborations tend to be when you are willing to be told that. But there's also ego involved, and so there's a lot of frustration in knowing that you're writing something, and the other person, on some level, needs to think that it's funny. ~ Michael Showalter

I had to feign interest in all this nonsense until I could ask when I could come over and sit on his face. I didn't say that out loud, of course. I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends. ~ Chelsea Handler

Once I was doing a sponsored walk. In the end I managed to raise so much money, I could afford a taxi. ~ Jimmy Carr

I was in a tailspin of confusion I hadn't experienced since the first time I heard George W. Bush speak. ~ Chelsea Handler

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

Agent Julianne was always looking for ways to spin things. She would have been better off owning a laundromat. ~ Jonas Eriksson

When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say it all the right way. It's funny how different it looks and how it's happening. There are three Fellini circuses in my head, and outwardly it looks like I'm going to get a bagel. ~ Steven Wright

The only thing that makes me cry at weddings is the DJ's playlist. ~ Natasha Leggero

You've been all black and white, like Kansas. It's time to get back to Oz. Enjoy the colors. ~ Kaje Harper

...life is a funny thing. We go through ups and downs, winters and summers, but somewhere, sometimes, it's good. ~ Ron McLarty

I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

I guess being a writer is a little like being a singer, when they're forced to sing that same boring song a million times over to their fans, even though that song was in the charts something like twenty years ago. We must read our book a million times before releasing it, they must sing the same song a million times after release, right? WRONG! It's nothing like that at all, because a song only takes three minutes to sing, whereas the reading of a book takes a fucking lifetime if you hate it already! ~ Jimmy Tudeski

Kids are funny. You have to watch what you're doing. ~ Jerome David Salinger

And Sanderson?" "Are you kidding? I bet his girlfriend is a dominatrix or something." "Or his boyfriend." "No, he's so not cool enough to be gay." She was very funny. ~ Mary Calmes

The problem is that we live in an uptight country. Why don't we just laugh at ourselves? We are funny. Gays are funny. Straights are funny. Women are funny. Men are funny. We are all funny, and we all do funny things. Let's laugh about it. ~ Bob Newhart

There is no list of rules. There is one rule. The rule is: there are no rules. Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tells you to. Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are supposed to be. Being traditional is not traditional anymore. It's funny that we still think of it that way. Normalize your lives, people. You don't want a baby? Don't have one. I don't want to get married? I won't. You want to live alone? Enjoy it. You want to love someone? Love someone. Don't apologize. Don't explain. Don't ever feel less than. When you feel the need to apologize or explain who you are, it means the voice in your head is telling you the wrong story. Wipe the slate clean. And rewrite it. No fairy tales. Be your own narrator. And go for a happy ending. One foot in front of the other. You will make it. ~ Shonda Rhimes

Anxiety in human life is what squeaking and grinding are in machinery that is not oiled. In life, trust is the oil. ~ Henry Ward Beecher

Dinner was meat - not hunks of meat, as in Australia, but pathetic scraps of meat, as in Britain - which the girls upstairs transformed into edible dishes by heating it in secret ways and adding bits of stuff to it. ~ Clive James

Sometimes being lazy can get you in trouble. You ever not take a shower all weekend, just lounge around, then you're running late for work on Monday? There's always one person at work: "Something smells like smoke in here!" "Uh, I went to a barbeque on Friday night. Only had 48 hours to take a shower. Busy." ~ Jim Gaffigan

I know it's hard on her. If I don't tell her she'll kill me." He pauses. "That was supposed to be funny. ~ Julie Anne Peters

I know you can be funny without being filthy. ~ Jonathan Winters

Now a second-order vain person is a vain person who's also vain about appearing to have an utter lack of vanity. Who's enormously afraid that other people will perceive him as vain. A second-order vain person will sit up late learning jokes in order to appear funny and charming, but will deny that he sits up late learning jokes. Or he'll perhaps even try to give the impression that he doesn't regard himself as funny at all. ~ David Foster Wallace

Besides, take away self-interest and you condemn the species to extinction, that's my motto! ~ X

There's a funny thing about scars. You can cover them up and hide them, but no matter what you do, they're always there. ~ Tabatha Vargo

When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said 'You wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!' ~ George Lopez

Chris Hemsworth is like Christopher Reeve in that he can do two things: he can wear a big red cape without a shred of self-consciousness. But he's also funny as hell, and he's so sweet. So with all the fish-out-of-water stuff, he's so funny. So he does almost two jobs in a way. ~ Tom Hiddleston

But though it had prevailed against such fierce adversaries as fire and flood, it had fallen victim softly and swiftly to television in the 1960's. ~ Kate Morton

But there's no doubt that children have an innate sense of humor. No matter how young they are, they always know when something's really funny. ~ Tetsuko Kuroyanagi

I laughed. It was just like Owen to make excuses for someone else's shortcomings. Even fictional characters. Owen found my tendency to speak my mind "refreshingly honest," and hailed Marc's temper as "a deep protective instinct." He said Ethan "thoroughly enjoyed life," and that Parker "really knew how to have a good time." According to Owen, we were all doing just fine, and all was right with the world. ~ Rachel Vincent

I'm sorry I laughed ... I know it isn't funny for you. It was incredibly stupid of me to laugh. Does it hurt a lot anywhere?
'Not really,' I said.
'Only a bit in your soul?'
'Maybe a bit.'
'Let it sink,' he said. 'Just leave it. You can't use it for anything. ~ Per Petterson

My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

Black people have slavery. And white people have our own thing-stuff we went though that hurt us that we have to cope with. Like when they took our slaves away. That was really hard for us. So it's pretty even. ~ Louis C.K.

North Korea is the country that the monkeys in the Wizard of Oz came from. ~ Lewis Black