Exes Quotes

President Obama is in China. Also in China is evil Russian dictator Vladimir Putin. They're both in China at the same time. It's like running into your ex-girlfriend on vacation. ~ David Letterman

Everyone has a bookplate these days, and the collectors are after it. The fool and his bookplate are soon parted. To distribute one's ex libris is inanely to destroy the only significance it has, that of indicating the past or present ownership of the volume in which it is placed. ~ Thomas Bailey Aldrich

I think just about everyone is doing something that's completely different from what you've seen them do before or a stretch in some way. Like Brandon Routh is so funny, he's awesome. And Chris Evans is hilarious. I mean, he's always funny but just in this character, it's like, I mean I could barely stop laughing on a single take, it was unbelievable. So I think everybody's going to be really, really happy with all the [exes?]. ~ Mary Elizabeth Winstead

What was it with exes? Why were they always twice as attractive after a break-up? ~ Jena Leigh

I think that my regrets mostly have to do with my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. Every once in a while, you get those flashback memories of conversations you had with your exes, and you just, like, wince when you're walking down the street. Something occurs to you, 'Oh, no, I said that.' ~ Mike Birbiglia

With two women every week in England and Wales being killed by their partner or ex-partner, we need to act now to end domestic violence. I am only too pleased to add my name to the Real Man campaign for Women's Aid. ~ Tom Aikens

Even though i'd admittedly accepted every advance he made on me, picking up my hand and putting it on his thigh seemed mighty forward of him. I didn't take the radical step of removing my hand,but I did open my mouth to act all indignant.
He put two fingers to my lips to stop me from talking.He knew me pretty well. His mouth close to my ear,he growled, "You know,you and I are exes."
"So?" I asked around his fingers.My skin tingled with excitement,or possibly eucalyptus poisoning. ~ Jennifer Echols

There is no creative expression of artistic value that has ever been produced by ex-drunkards and ex-drug-addicts. Who the hell would bother with a Rolling Stones without booze or with a Jimi Hendrix without heroin? ~ Lars Von Trier

There are only two kinds of managers. Winning managers and ex-managers. ~ Gil Hodges

Perhaps we are on an insula ex machina, an artificial place not in the real world at all
a backdrop for the stories we must tell. ~ Kate Atkinson

I get on with all my exes, so there's nothing I need to forget about. I don't know - life is shorter than it seems. ~ Agyness Deyn

People change. You change. Some relationships just aren't meant to last beyond a certain point. It's okay to simply let those friendships fade. This is a natural evolution of some relationships. Unlike romantic relationships, with friendships there's rarely a reason to have a full-on breakup. Even if people go in different directions and the friendship slowly peters out, trust can endure. And unlike most exes, it is possible to rekindle/reactivate friendships later on when your lives are more aligned. ~ Reid Hoffman

I'm friends with a lot of my exes, but it took time. We didn't just get into it. I don't think you can be friends until you're cool with them dating someone else. That's when you know. ~ Rashida Jones

I have to keep things vague, jumble up all the men, the lovers and the exes, but I tell myself that's OK, because it doesn't matter who they are. It matters how they make me feel. ~ Paula Hawkins

Here's one thing I can't understand: people who are friends with their exes. ~ Timothy Hutton

What is not ex-pressed is de-pressed. ~ Mark Nepo

Ex oriente lux may still be the motto of scholars, for the Western world has not yet derived from the East all the light which itis destined to receive thence. ~ Henry David Thoreau

What are you gonna say?" Emma asked. " 'I'm not sure I want you back, but I'm sure I don't want your ex-con ex-girlfriend to have you, either'? Yeah. That'll start this little triangle off on the right foot. ~ Rachel Vincent

I'm actually quite good at being friends with my exes. I'm friends with almost everyone. In fact, everyone! So I let them burn to a certain degree, and then I put out the fire for a while. ~ Ella Eyre

When you feel in love with an ex, it isn't that you still love him, but that you are simply stuck in the idea of what YOU did wrong. ~ Robin Lopez

Don't paint a nasty picture of your exes. We'll justifiably wonder what made you stay in those heinous situations in the first place. ~ Liz Vassey

My ex-student, Idit Harel, who wrote a book, "Children Designs," has a documented story of a kid who was very shy, isolated and didn't talk much to other kids. She was a little overweight, and the other kids looked down on her for that reason.But then she made a discovery about how to do something on the computer. The discovery was picked up by other kids, and within a few weeks there was a total transformation. This kid was now in demand. And that changed her feeling about herself. ~ Seymour Papert

Gaylord Perry and Willie McCovey should know each other like a book. They've been ex-teammates for years now. ~ Jerry Coleman

Fletcher was always going to be your ex-boyfriend, from the moment you met him. He's just finally caught up with where he's supposed to be. ~ Derek Landy

Oh, boy. I'm still in touch with about 90 percent of my exes. They would describe me as being unlucky in love. ~ Nathan Fillion

The motto of science is not just Pauca but rather Plurima ex paucissimis - the most out of the least. ~ Mario Bunge

A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life. ~ Jim Samuels

I stood for parliament with the amazing support and help of my ex-husband, but it's not something that was handed to me like a peerage. I worked hard and was elected. So my achievements, such as they are, are my own. ~ Louise Mensch

Your allegiance is with your spouse; you cannot break that by showing allegiance to your ex-spouse. ~ Connie Sellecca

Henceforth it will be the task of this Sacred Congregation not only to examine carefully the books denounced to it, to prohibit them if necessary, and to grant permission for reading forbidden books, but also to supervise, ex officio, books that are being published, and to pass sentence on such as deserve to be prohibited. ~ Pope Pius XII

Home life is best for me. But I do enjoy the company of good friends whether from long ago or newer friends who only know me as George, not the ex-Beatle. ~ George Harrison

My first few years as TV critic, I would go to parties and people (usually older Posties or ex-Posties who seemed to pride themselves on not watching very much television) would take me by the arm and insist that I watch this show they'd recently starting watching on DVD, about drug dealers in Baltimore. ~ Hank Stuever

It's the next phase of authorship of this country's energy future. It's gonna come from the people. It's not gonna be deus ex machina or Obama ex machina, or science ex machina. It's gonna be the people. It's not going to be a wind energy company that comes in and saves the day. It's going to be the people who figure this out. ~ Josh Fox

I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes. ~ Dana Gould

I have exes I'm friends with and exes I'm not friends with. It depends on what you decide together. I do think that sometimes trying to maintain that bond can be healthier than walking away. ~ Tyler Blackburn

Never be friends with your exes if you weren't friends with them before. ~ Ed Sheeran

I got an email from my ex, telling me that she has AIDS. I didn't know how to comfort her, so I just wrote back I know. ~ Anthony Jeselnik

History buffs probably noted the reunion at a Washington party a few weeks ago of three ex-presidents: Carter, Ford and Nixon - See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Evil. ~ Bob Dole

All my life there's always been an ex-wife or a girlfriend. ~ Ronnie Wood

At the factory, I deal with ex-cons, substance abusers, and sexual harassers. And I'm not just talking about my mom. ~ George Lopez

Experts have their expert fun ex cathedra telling one just how nothing can be done. ~ Piet Pieterszoon Hein

My ex - may he soon discover tiny worms have invaded his body and are slowly eating him alive - once told me God made men so perfect because He'd wanted to make up for the inadequacies of women. ~ Gena Showalter

It was great to play an ex-marine cockney thug. All my roles are as different as the colours of the rainbow. ~ Luke Treadaway

Explain your type again." Ash says. "Let's define the problem."
I squint my eyes, because everyone knows that makes you smarter. I didn't know I had a type, but when I look back at my few exes over the years… yeah, there seems to be a pattern. "Frail-looking, vegetarian or gluten free, intellectual, ironic, good hygiene."
Sadie and Ash just look at me for a beat. "Thank God we're helping you." Ash says. "I mean, what the fuck? Why didn't we notice this before?"
Sadie is nodding.
Ash says, "so we just need to find someone who's huge, a carnivore, doesn't talk, smells manly and… what's the opposite of ironic?"
"I have no idea. Let's simplify it. We're looking for a man, instead of what you've been attracted to."
"What have I been attracted to?"
"Gwyneth Paltrow I'm pretty sure. And every time I see her on TV, I just want to kick her. ~ Sarina Bowen

But assuredly Fortune rules in all things; she raised to eminence or buries in oblivion everything from caprice rather than from well-regulated principle.
[Lat., Sed profecto Fortuna in omni re dominatur; ea res cunctas ex lubidine magis, quam ex vero, celebrat, obscuratque.] ~ Sallust

On tour, it's either call ex-boyfriends or tweet a lot. You're just looking for any proof that you're not completely alone. ~ Chelsea Peretti

It's the Roman numeral for 10. 5/5/89 is my birthday: 5 plus 5 is 10, and this is my tenth year since I got into music. 'X' is the 24th letter in the alphabet, and I will turn 24 when this album comes out. 'X' is also a metaphor, as in 'ex-girlfriend': it implies you're progressing and moving on in life, not holding on to the past and your old ways. ~ Chris Brown

Ex-D-boy, used to park my Beamer
Now look at me, I can park in my own arena ~ Jay-Z

My ex-boyfriend can round last night, which was weird because I didn't know he was in a coma. ~ Jo Brand

I'm not friends with any of my exes, and I've never understood the appeal. ~ Chelsea Handler

I don't think I believe in ghosts, per se. But, my nearest experience was when I went on a weekend away and was in a bar in England, years ago, with an ex-girlfriend. I heard this scratching. I was about to go to bed and I was thinking, 'It's an old ghost.' I could hear this noise, but I couldn't work out where it was coming from. ~ Theo James

A couple of years ago, I read the findings of a study on the effects of divorced and separated parents talking negatively about their exes in the presence of their children. What I remember about the study most vividly is really just one thing: that it's devastating for a child to hear one parent speak ill of the other. In fact, so much so that the researchers found it was less psychologically damaging if a parent said directly to the child "You are a worthless piece of shit" than it was for a parent to say "Your mother/father is a worthless piece of shit."
I don't remember if they had any theories about why that was so, but it made sense to me. I think we all have something sturdier inside of us that rears up when we're being attacked that we simply can't call upon when someone we love is being attacked, especially if that someone is our parent, half of us-the primal other- and the person doing the attacking is the other half, the other primal other. ~ Cheryl Strayed

The truth is that everybody has a past and everybody has an ex. ~ Bridget Regan

I think a lot of ex-addicts. They find a lot of humor in what they did because they lived through it. ~ Dax Shepard

I know one gay ex-Mormon who is a talented, self-destructive alcoholic. Whenever he is drunk and going on a tear, we are back to the Mormon Church and his being thrown out of the Mormon Church and growing up with this sense of being evil. ~ Andrew Solomon

I can't go too much into my domestic life because there are ex-wives ready to do me in. ~ Frank McCourt

Your enemies don't have a chance when your spirit knows how to run, swim and fly beyond the evil they carry within them. ~ Shannon L. Alder

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny. ~ Dane Cook

We might say that both the artist and the neurotic bite off more than they can chew, but the artist spews it back out again and chews it over in an objectified way, as an external, active work project ~ Ernest Becker

How many exes do you have? You're like a fame-whore, female pop star gone wild after she left her sock puppets show for more mature gig. ~ Rea Lidde

Realizing that many you once thought the world of are nothing but glorified assholes means you've grown up. ~ Crystal Woods

But all at once I realized that it was not my success God had used to enable me to help those in this prison, or in hundreds of others just like it. My life of success was not what made this morning so glorious
all my achievements meant nothing in God's economy.
No, the real legacy of my life was my biggest failure
that I was an ex-convict. My greatest humiliation
being sent to prison
was the beginning of God's greatest use of my life; He chose the one thing in which I could not glory for His glory. ~ Charles W. Colson

I don't have a type looks-wise, but all my exes have been funny, open-minded and ambitious. I can't stand men with no passion in life. ~ Kathryn Prescott

I think sensitive is the wrong description of me. I'm British, actually, so quite bad at expressing myself in conversation, as any ex-girlfriend will tell you. I'm probably emotionally stunted. ~ James Blunt

I have been in relationships where a man has disrespected me, and I don't need to be friends with that man anymore. I don't want to be the one going, 'I'm cool, because I'm friends with all my exes.' There's a reason why you're called an ex. I crossed you off my list. Moving on. You cross a line, you need to know that you're going to walk this earth knowing that there's an individual who has no respect for you. ~ Zoe Saldana

Leaves don't grow back onto a vine, cracked walnuts don't fit back into their shells, and girlfriends who've been enchanted don't just wake up and decide to let things slide with their terrifying exes. ~ Holly Black

You think it's hard for me when I go in the ring and fight? That's the least of my problems. I think about the five years that I did in prison. I think about the nine years on parole. Nothing - nothing! - can compare to that struggle. I'm telling you, from being an ex-convict with 30 convictions, a degree nowhere to be found and black? I'm done. ~ Bernard Hopkins

You should not propose marriage until you have resolved your feelings about your ex. ~ Amy Dickinson

Being an ex-England manager, one that failed to qualify for the World Cup, is like being a dead politician. ~ Graham Taylor

She realized how many of her beliefs were either unrealistic or belonged to her deceased parents and her ex-husband. She also realized that her expectations for herself and others were sometimes too rigid. She was trying to live up to what everyone else said was best for her, which made her depressed and hard to be around at times. Once she changed her beliefs about herself and others, she began to smile more and enjoy life. ~ Salle Merrill Redfield

My ex-girlfriend was very sexy. She reminded me of the Sphinx because she was very mysterious and eternal and solid ... and her nose was shot off by French soldiers. ~ Emo Philips

I collect ex-boyfriends
and more than five, at last count. ~ Jasper Fforde

We linked hands - my ex-boyfriend, my boyfriend, and my former friend-then-enemy-then friend and I - and walked through a door to see if maybe empty carbs were good for something after all. ~ Kiersten White

All my ex's live in Texas, And Texas is the place I'd dearly love to be, But all my ex's live in Texas, Therefore I reside in Tennessee ~ George Strait

It's different when you're trying to turn something around, especially something that you built, at a time when so many constituents - the media, Wall Street, competitors, ex-employees - are all saying that Starbucks's best days are behind it, and that Schultz is never going to be able to bring it back. ~ Howard Schultz

I have great relationships with all my exes, and everyone in my life, because I honor the time and the love and the energy of those relationships. I'm happy to say that I can have everybody over for dinner. ~ Kevin Drew

I know you lost your partner in crime, but ... I want YOU to be MINE. Maybe WE should travel the world together, Camryn ... I know I can't replace your ex
"
"Andrew ... it was always you. ~ J.A. Redmerski

To his ex-wife in court, he said I lost interest in you when the Botox lost its effect and you looked like a plastic doll that escaped from a fire. ~ Peter Jackson

Can I ask you about Caroline Mathers?"
"And you say there's no afterlife. ~ John Green

Russia is actively using gas diplomacy for its expansion over the ex-Soviet space in a bid to become a regional superpower. ~ Lilia Shevtsova

Alec looked down at the shattered pieces in disbelief. "You BROKE my PHONE."
Jace shrugged. "Guys don't let other guys keep calling other guys. Okay, that came out wrong. Friends don't let friends keep calling their exes and hanging up. Seriously. You have to stop."
Alec looked furious. "So you broke my brand new phone? Thanks a lot."
Jace smiled serenely and lay back on the grass. "You're welcome. ~ Cassandra Clare

There is no point in hating all your exes after a breakup - Because you will end up hurting yourself instead of the person whom you hate. ~ Mwanandeke Kindembo

Whatever happens, whatever her final words are to me, I won't turn into one of those pricks who badmouth their exes out of boredom and bitterness. I'll cherish the time we had together. That's what's up. You know damn well it was a great time, stop the faking. ~ Caspar Vega

I don't write songs in order to stick it to my exes. I don't release underground dis tracks. ~ John Mayer

It's weird to make new friends, but we're three seasons in with 'The Exes,' and now it feels a lot like 'Scrubs,' where I'm very lucky because I get to work people like Wayne Knight, who I really like. ~ Donald Faison

When you are not missing something, longing for something, you don't really think about it that much. It's like that girlfriend you don't want to have anymore. You don't think about her anymore. Or ex-husband. You just don't. ~ Danica Patrick

The reality is that I surround myself with very smart, very strong people - including my ex-wives. ~ Ronald Perelman

First you have nothing, and then, astonishingly, after ripping out your brain and your heart and betraying your friends and ex-lovers and dreaming like a zombie over the page till you can't see or hear or smell or taste, you have something. ~ T.C. Boyle

If we are true small 'l' liberals, it's our job to seek out feminist Muslims, ex-Muslims, liberal Muslims, dissenting voices within Muslim communities, gay Muslims - we should promote those voices and in doing so, we demonstrate Islam is not a monolith, Muslims are not homogenous, and that Muslims are truly internally diverse. ~ Maajid Nawaz

Persons of genius are, ex vi termini, more individual than any other people - less capable, consequently, of fitting themselves, without hurtful compression, into any of the small number of moulds which society provides in order to save its members the trouble of forming their character. ~ John Stuart Mill

Ex-Professor Moriarty of mathematical celebrity ... is the Napoleon of crime, Watson. ~ Arthur Conan Doyle

My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

Everybody knows I have the ratchetest booty tattoo of an ex-boyfriend. ~ Adrienne Bailon

I had to detach myself from myself, if that makes any sense, to conjure an authentic first-person voice. In that sense, it was similar to writing a first-person novel. But I was writing about real people, not fictional ones - myself, my family, my friends and boyfriends and ex-husband, and that was extremely tricky. ~ Kate Christensen

If you had a man when I was your friend and then we started hooking up and you broke up with your boyfriend, so now we're together and you have a new male friend? I'm going to look at you sideways because your character's horrible and now I'm thinking you're going to do to me what you did to your ex. ~ Damien Lemon

I made a vow to God [in 2010], after so many letdowns and the relationship with my ex, I knew I really didn't want to continue making the same mistakes anymore. Women nowadays, we connect physically too soon without actually getting to know the person. If you don't actually give this person your body and then they let you down, there really isn't a great disappointment; not like it would be if you have already connected physically. I started going on that journey, and I thought to myself, you know what, the next man that I give my body to will be the man that God brought into my life. ~ Jessica White

It feels like a perfect night, to dress up like hipsters, and make fun of our exes. ~ Taylor Swift

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. ~ Pearl Williams

One of my mother's friends said to me, 'Your ex-boyfriends didn't stand a chance with you and your mother.' And I think I probably was unfair to them because she was the first person and the last person I called about every single thing. Sorry, ex-boyfriends. ~ Lily Rabe

I get along great with all of my exes. That's really cool. That's a good sign. ~ Al Jourgensen