Jimmy Tudeski Quotes

If you don't love the job you do, then it's a job in itself to get up in the morning and go to work

I guess being a writer is a little like being a singer, when they're forced to sing that same boring song a million times over to their fans, even though that song was in the charts something like twenty years ago. We must read our book a million times before releasing it, they must sing the same song a million times after release, right? WRONG! It's nothing like that at all, because a song only takes three minutes to sing, whereas the reading of a book takes a fucking lifetime if you hate it already!

Rebound sex is fine when you want to rebound and bounce back in life, but when you only want to bounce back into a bed with your ex-girlfriend, rebound sex would only ever turn out to be a regrettable thing

I will confidentially shove that confidentiality agreement up your confident secret keeping arse in a minute Rose!

She didn't say, you didn't say, nobody said!

I mean, drink driving is bad, drug driving is bad, but what is driving whilst under the influence of a fuc%ing nymphomaniac in your lap? How many years will this get me, if I do manage to keep my eyes on the road and not drive us off it first?

FIGHT FOR EQUALITY, NOT TO SEEK REVENGE, PLEASE!

My soul might have been hijacked last night, but I definitely didn't sell it, did I?

Shit – I was going to do it, I didn't want to do it, yet now she's said I don't have to do it, yet wants me to do it again, I don't actually know if I want to do it anymore.

Hence, why Tudeski is only my pen name (stage name – made up name) and I don't use my real surname when I write anything any longer. Clever of me, right? No, not really, my real surname got fucked over by critics long before I actually found out an author could use a pretend name – I just believe it's Tudeski's turn to take some of this shit now!

They say the content and the cover are the most important things when it comes to a book or a novel, right? I totally disagree – The reader is the most important thing to a book

How comes every time I write a book and one of my character's say something remotely offensive, do people stick that "Quote" next to my bloody name on social media? I didn't bloody say it, did I?

Clearly these were deliberate waterworks to make me feel bad about myself and what would you know, they water-worked perfectly!

This girl was so hot, that even if one of your friends slept with her, you would have ended up gloating about it yourself for him.

Pay closer attention to it's ears, the reason it's named the Rabbit. Is it just me, or do those ears also look like someone making a rude V-Sign hand gesture?

Oh, I get it now. Yes, very funny! Those bunny ears are meant to stimulate the clitoris, right? And of course, statistics and studies in bullshit magazines claim that 1 in every 2 men can't find the clitoris, right? Meaning what I think it means and that the sexist female who obviously designed this device is basically sticking two fingers up at crappy men, because her world famous toy can find the users clitoris quicker

There's no equality in the blow job, if all you ever do is suck at it!

It's just crazy, isn't it? Here she sits at a table, like butter wouldn't melt, yet in my ear, I'm the one that's melting like butter!

Women do have it tougher, fact, but it's not a walk in the park for a man either. Is life really about sexist men, or women taking power back, or is it about equality, sharing, understanding and love?

My life without Lucy, is a prison sentence anyway