If I Were You Quotes

I don't think you understand," said Milo timidly as the watchdog growled a warning. "We're looking for a place to spend the night."
"It's not yours to spend," the bird shrieked again, and followed it with the same horrible laugh.
"That doesn't make any sense, you see - " he started to explain.
"Dollars or cents, it's still not yours to spend," the bird replied haughtily.
"But I didn't mean - " insisted Milo.
"Of course you're mean," interrupted the bird, closing the eye that had been open and opening the one that had been closed. "Anyone who'd spend a night that doesn't belong to him is very mean."
"Well, I thought that by - " he tried again desperately.
"That's a different story," interjected the bird a bit more amiably. "If you want to buy, I'm sure I can arrange to sell, but with what you're doing you'll probably end up in a cell anyway."
"That doesn't seem right," said Milo helplessly, for, with the bird taking everything the wrong way, he hardly knew what he was saying.
"Agreed," said the bird, with a sharp click of his beak, "but neither is it left, although if I were you I would have left a long time ago. ~ Norton Juster

Ah, lust! How one would like to make it the cornerstone of self! But I wouldn't go ahead and build on it if I were you. ~ Elfriede Jelinek

I would warn Orlando that you're right in the way of some serious hurricanes, and I don't think I'd be waving those flags [gay pride flags] in God's face if I were you, This is not a message of hate , this is a message of redemption. But a condition like this will bring about the destruction of your nation. It'll bring about terrorist bombs; it'll bring earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a meteor. ~ Pat Robertson

Thanks, Baba. You are always such a comfort."
She gave him a wry look. "I know. I've been considering becoming a counselor. Or possibly a nurse."
Day shook his head. "If I were you, Baba Yaga, I'd stick to your day job. ~ Deborah Blake

I just wanted to say that it's okay if you dislike me. If you make Clary happy, I'm fine with you." He stuck his hand out, and Jace took his own hand out of Clary's and shook Simon's, a bemused look on his face.
"I don't dislike you," he said. "In fact, because I actually do like you, I'm going to offer you some advice."
"Advice?" Simon looked wary.
"I see that you are working this vampire angle with some success," Jace said, indicating Isabelle and Maia with a nod of his head. "And kudos. Lots of girls love that sensitive-undead thing. But I'd drop the whole musician angle if I were you. Vampire rock stars are played out, and besides, you can't possibly be very good."
Simon sighed. "I don't suppose there's any change you could reconsider the part where you didn't like me?"
"Enough, both of you," Clary said. "You can't be complete jerks to each other forever, you know."
"Technically," said Simon, "I can."
Jace made an inelegant noise; after a moment Clary realized that he was trying not to laugh, and only semi-succeeding.
Simon grinned. "Got you."
"Well," Clary said. "This is a beautiful moment. ~ Cassandra Clare

If I were you boys, I wouldn't talk or even think about women. It ain't good for your health. ~ Walter Huston

One of the few times I've ever wished for a penis," she said to Rae when the bartender stepped up to take the order of yet another male customer. They'd been waiting to be served for over twenty minutes. She'd even worn the red magic boob dress tonight, but unfortunately, its mojo offered no help in this particular situation.
"You haven't had sex in six months," Rae said. "If I were you, I'd be wishing for penises every night. ~ Julie James

No, my dear, I'm not in love with you, no more than you are with me, and if I were, you would be the last person I'd ever tell. God help the man who ever really loves you. You'd break his heart, my darling, cruel, destructive little cat who is so careless and confident she doesn't even trouble to sheathe her claws. ~ Margaret Mitchell

It's your call. You want to go back home, go ahead. But if I were you, I wouldn't. Home is death. ~ Jeff Abbott

I don't know why you would even bring up the internet. The xeno-intelligence officer responsible for evaluating your digital communication required invasive emergency therapy after an hour's exposure. One glance at that thing is the strongest argument possible against the sentience of humanity. I wouldn't draw attention to it, if I were you. ~ Catherynne M. Valente

Are-are you leaving?"
She saw his shoulders stiffen at the sound of her voice, and when he turned and looked at her, she could almost feel the effort he was exerting to keep his rage under control. "You're leaving," he bit out.
In silent, helpless protest Elizabeth shook her head and started slowly across the carpet, dimly aware that this was worse, much worse than merely standing up in front of several hundred lords in the House.
"I wouldn't do that, if I were you," he warned softly.
"Do-do what?" Elizabeth said shakily.
"Get any nearer to me."
She stopped cold, her mind registering the physical threat in his voice, refusing to believe it, her gaze searching his granite features.
"Ian," she began, stretching her hand out in a gesture of mute appeal, then letting it fall to her side when her beseeching move got nothing from him but a blast of contempt from his eyes. "I realize," she began again, her voice trembling with emotion while she tried to think how to begin to diffuse his wrath, "that you must despise me for what I've done."
"You're right."
"But," Elizabeth continued bravely, "I am prepared to do anything, anything to try to atone for it. No matter how it must seem to you now, I never stopped loving-"
His voice cracked like a whiplash. "Shut up!"
"No, you have to listen to me," she said, speaking more quickly now, driven by panic and an awful sense of foreboding that nothing she could do or say would ever make him ~ Judith McNaught

They respond to movement only, so ... don't fall off the ladder," I say. "Whoever goes first will secure the ladder on the other side."
I notice that Marcus, who is supposed to selflessly offer himself up for every task, does not volunteer.
"Not feeling very Stiff today, Marcus?" says Christina.
"If I were you, I would be careful who you insult," he says. "I am still the only person here who can find what we're looking for."
"Is that a threat?"
"I'll go," I say, before Marcus can answer. "I'm part Stiff too, right? ~ Veronica Roth

We find our own way to right action, and tread it as we go. He who tells his neighbour what he, the neighbour, should do in given circumstances is a fool. He does not and he cannot know. 'If I were you' is a silly beginning to any remark. You are not, and you never will be anyone else. Mind your own business; it is, or should be, a full-time task for twenty-four hours a day. ~ Christmas Humphreys

The letter is too belligerent. If I were you, I would state the facts as they were, without the pepper and salt. Abraham Lincoln ~ Harold Holzer

If I were you,
And you were I,
I would kill myself,
But you would die! ~ Bruce Jennings

Oh shit, I wouldn't use that towel if I were you," Gavin mumbles.
I ignore him scrubbing every inch of my face, hoping that maybe I can rub away the memory of the words my mother spoke to me.
"Seriously dude, give me that thing," Gavin says, Interrupting my thoughts. I pull the towel away and glare at his reflection in the mirror. He's standing behind me with a look of disgust on his face and his hand out. "What the fuck is wrong with you? I just found out that my mom was a slut and has no idea who my dad is and all you're worried about is your precious towel?" I ramble, my voice getting that hysterical squeak to it. "What's wrong? Is this one of Charlotte's 'good' towels, reserved for guests or some shit? Fuck, are you pussy whipped."
Gavin shakes his head at me and tries reaching over my shoulder to take the towel. I snatch it away and turn to face him. "What is your fucking deal? It's a Goddamn towel!" I yell. "Yeah, it's a jizz towel, dude."
I look at him in confusion, glancing down at the towel and back up at him when what he said finally sinks in. He's biting his lip and I can't tell if he's trying not to laugh or if he's trying to think of a way to run out of here as fast as he can. "Hey, what are you guys doing in the bathroom?" Charlotte asks, suddenly appearing in the doorway. "Oh, my God! Did you just use that towel, Tyler?" I quickly throw the towel away from me like it's on fire and it lands in the toilet. "Dammit, don't throw it in the toilet ~ Tara Sivec

You can try, but you seem cleverer than Fudge, so I'd have thought you'd have learned from his mistakes. He tried intervening at Hogwarts. You might have noticed he's not Minister anymore, but Dumbledore's still headmaster. I'd leave Dumbledore alone, if I were you. ~ J.K. Rowling

'I really don't see what all the fuss is about, Sir Hugh,' said Kate with a polite smile. 'As a man of science you should know that urine is sterile. It's only when it's left to stand that it accumulates bacteria. So, if I were you, Sir Hugh, I'd eat my soup quickly.' ~ Kenneth Oppel

You told me I was making you crazy last night," he reminds me, drawing me out of my thoughts, back to a present I'm uncertain of.
"You are, Chris."
"Well, you are making me crazy, too."
"Is this supposed to be making me feel better? ~ Lisa Renee Jones

Sweet pea, what did you expect?"
"Something other than that."
"Well, you shouldn't have. We human girls are a bit feistier than your Syrena females-Rayna being the exception of course."
"But Emma's not human."
Rachel shakes her head at him as if he's a child. "She's been human all her life. It's all she knows. The good news is, she can't date anyone right now."
"Why's that?" Because to him, it sounded like maybe Emma thought she could.
"Because she's supposed to be dating you. And if I were you, I'd mark my territory as soon as I got back to school-if you know what I mean."
He scowls. He hadn't planned on staying in school after Emma learned the truth-the whole purpose for going was to eventually get Emma to the beach. He didn't anticipate having to teach her how to become Syrena. And he didn't anticipate that up until yesterday she actually thought she was human. In fact, there's a list the length of his fin of things he didn't anticipate.
Like how thick the school books are. ~ Anna Banks

If I were you, I'd go and do that. : Vikalp
That's why you're not me! : Yatharth. ~ Shubham Choudhary

There's a lot of things wrong with this country, but one of the few things still right with it is that a man can steer clear of the organized bullshit if he really wants to. It's a goddamned luxury, and if I were you, I'd take advantage of it while you can. ~ Hunter S. Thompson

He was sound asleep, his long legs stretched out in front of him, the blessed fire blazing, an empty bottle of wine by his side. He hadn't been shaved recently, and he looked rumpled, dissolute and beautiful. Like
a fallen angel. She moved to stand in front of him and pointed the pistol directly at his heart.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," he murmured, and then he opened his extraordinary eyes. "It's always
unwise to shoot the man you're in love with. ~ Anne Stuart

Anger surges in me and I stand up. "You have no right -"
He's on his feet towering over me. "What if I want to have a right? ~ Lisa Renee Jones

There are fascinating possibilities in this situation. I'd get it down on paper if I were you. ~ Joe Orton

When I started travelling, I would go to a city and be on television and I used to get the question, 'Why do you work? If I were you, I'd just go and lie on a beach somewhere.' And I'd answer, 'Well, I wanted to make something of my life.' ~ Gloria Vanderbilt

She put her hand to her head and was about to plead a headache when she glanced at Barbra, who gave her a look that said, I wouldn't if I were you... ~ Elaine Coffman

Well, if I were you, I'd leave him. I'd find someone with a more normal way of looking at things and live happily ever after. There's no way in hell you can be happy with him. The way he lives, it never crosses his mind to try to make himself happy or to make others happy. Staying with him will only wreck your nervous system. To me, it's already a miracle that you've been with him three years. Of course, I'm very fond of him in my own way. He's fun, and he has lots of great qualities.
He has strengths and abilities that I could never hope to match. But in the end, his ideas about things and the way he lives his life are not normal. Sometimes, when I'm talking to him, I feel as if I'm going
around and around in circles. The same process that takes him higher and higher leaves me going around in circles. It makes me feel so empty! Finally, our very systems are totally different. Do you see what I'm saying? ~ Haruki Murakami

I'll do what little I can in writing. Only it will be very little. I'm not capable of it; and if I were, you would not go near it at all. For if you did, you would hardly bear to live ~ James Agee

I want you to steal something."
I smiled. "Do you want the king's seal? I can get it for you."
"If I were you," said the magus, "I'd stop bragging about that." His voice grated.
My smile grew. The gold ring with the engraved ruby had been in his safekeeping when I had stolen it away. ~ Megan Whalen Turner

You certainly do heal fast. But you'll still have some impressive bruises, so if I were you I'd avoid your father for the rest of the night."
"I'll just tell him you abuse me," Helen said with a shrug. She jumped off the examining table.
"And I'll tell him you like it," he teased back. ~ Josephine Angelini

Look what the cat drug in."
"If I were you, I wouldn't mention pussy, unless you're offering some. ~ Jennifer Foor

If I were you, I'd sue my face for slander. ~ Terry Pratchett

I wouldn't do that if I were you
Oh yeah, why not
Because know a dozen ways to kill a man. i'm thinking number 5. ~ Jane Graves

If I were you is something I've never really understood. Why say, "If I were you"? Why say, "If I were you," when the problem is you're not me? I wish people would say, "Since I am me," followed by whatever advice it is they have. ~ Rachel Khong

Gideon, you old dog, you have taken a mate," the Prince accused with humor sparkling from those fathomless eyes. "And I believe she finds me quite attractive."
Gideon heard Legna gasp in shock and tried to repress a feral smile as he became aware of the burning blush she sprouted.
"I would not cross that particular line even as a joke, Damien," Gideon warned him smoothly.
"My apologies. I could not resist." Damien looked steadily into Gideon's eyes for a moment. "She must be young, not to realize I would be able to read her presence within your mind."
"She is young, but I would not underestimate her if I were you. ~ Jacquelyn Frank

Any man who isn't married by thirty-five is either gay or he's got skeletons in his closet. ~ Lisa Renee Jones

Gemma talking to Charley ...
"Got it. Have you seen my pants?"
"Speaking of which, how did you get home without them?"
"I borrowed a pair of you sweats. I ran into a convenience store with them on. I talked to neighbors out in their yard when I pulled up. And only after I got inside did I realize the had 'Exit Only' written across the back."
"You stole my favorite sweats?"
"I wanted to die."
"It's weird that sweats would make you suicidal. I'd analyze the crap out of that if I were you."
"Do you actually wear those in public?"
"Only when I go out in them ~ Darynda Jones

I see that you are working this vampire angle with some success. And kudos. Lots of girls love that sensitive-undead thing. But I'd drop the whole musician angle if I were you. Vampire rock stars are played out, and besides, you can't possible be very good. ~ Cassandra Clare

Don't bury personal obsessions. Capitalize on them. ``The connection between personal obsession and the work you do is the most important thing.'

-- Be yourself. ``Singularity is what you need.'

-- Avoid self-censorship: ``We are very self-critical in a way that can be very destructive. In our culture there are voices in our head which have taught us to say, `Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you.' Don't ever think about anybody peering over your shoulder.'

-- Don't be afraid to show off, even if you think, ``I'm very close to making a complete fool of myself.'

-- Don't be afraid to entertain. ``I want to entertain. I don't want to lose people. I feel responsible as I write to give people the best time I can.'

-- ``Love your failures' instead of beating yourself up over them.

-- ``Learn to love the process' of writing.

-- Just do it. Barker likes something director Stanley Kubrick said: ``If you want to make a film, pick up a camera. ~ Clive Barker

Hang it, I am not going to feel responsible for my deeds and passions if there's nobody to be responsible to; and if I were you, my dear, I wouldn't either. ~ Thomas Hardy

Heathcliff, if I were you, I'd go stretch myself over her grave and die like a faithful dog. The world is surely not worth living in now, is it? You had distinctly impressed on me the idea that Catherine was the whole joy of your life: I can't imagine how you think of surviving her loss. ~ Charlotte Bronte

Lying," he said out loud, hoping no one would hear. "I need to lie. Teach me, quickly."

I wouldn't if I were you, came the response. For a start, it's a variable concept here. You are in a culture where ambiguity has been raised to a high level. Let me give an example: depending on phrasing, circumstance, expression, body movement, intonation and context, the statement "I love you" can mean I love you; I don't love you; I hate you; I want to have sex with you; I do, in fact, love your sister; I don't love you any more; leave me alone, I'm tired, or I'm sorry I forgot your birthday. The person being talked to would instantly understand the meaning but might choose to attribute an entirely different meaning to the statement. Lying is a social act and the nature and import of the lie depends in effect on an unspoken agreement between the parties concerned. Please note that this description does not even begin to explore the concept of deep lies, in which the speaker simultaneously says something he knows to be untrue and genuinely believes it nonetheless: politicians are particularly adept at this. ~ Iain Pears

I should hurry, then, if I were you," said Blackberry. "The sun will be down soon." "Hah!" said Bigwig. "If I meet a stoat, it'd better look out, that's all. I'll bring you one back tomorrow, shall I? ~ Richard Adams

She broke off, glaring at him - no doubt because he must be grinning like an idiot. "What?" she said. "What?"
"On your head," he said. "My drawers."
She looked up.
"You have my drawers on your head," he said. A pause.
Then, "Oh, that," she said. "Yes. I do that sometimes. Wear drawers on my head. It's one of those interesting habits one gets to know about the other person as one gets to know the other person."
"I should not wear them outside if I were you," he said.
"Oh, very well." She sighed. ~ Loretta Chase

Claybourne grabbed his arm, stopping his forward movement. "Do we have a plan?"
"Get Emma out alive and I don't care who the hell dies in the bloody process." Breaking free of the hold, Swindler began running toward the gate.
"I do hope he's not including us in the 'who the hell dies' arena," he heard Greystone mutter.
"I wouldn't be so sure if I were you," Dodger responded. "I do believe the man's in love. ~ Lorraine Heath

I don't blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do.( ... ) You can say that and be 100 percent sincere, because if you were the other person you, of course, would feel just as he does ( ... ) Suppose you had inherited the same body and temperament and mind ( ... ) Suppose you had had his environment and experiences. You would then be precisely what he was - and where he was. For it is those things -and only those things - that made him what he was. ( ... ) You deserve very little credit for being what you are - and remember, the people who come to you irritated, bigoted, unreasoning, deserve very little discredit for being what they are. ~ Dale Carnegie

I'd watch out for doors if I were you. ~ Neil Gaiman

But to return to your question, Vidanric's tendency to keep his own counsel ought to be reassuring as far as people hopping out with embarrassing words are concerned. If I were you
and I know it's so much easier to give advice than to follow it
I'd sit down with him, when no one else is at hand, and talk it out."
Just the thought of seeking him out for a private talk made me shudder. "I'd rather walk down the mountain in shoes full of snails."
It was Nee's turn to shudder. "Life! I'd rather do almost anything than that
~ Sherwood Smith

You can hear my dreams? God, you must never get any quiet. I'd be shooting myself in the head if I were you. ~ Jeaniene Frost

I'd try eBay, if I were you," Harry replies. "You might even get more than you paid for it." Plenty of fools all over the planet willing to pay good money for allegedly haunted bric-a-brac. ~ Camille DeAngelis

I wouldn't let anyone know she's here if I were you," Holder says. "I doubt you would want the fact that you're a fucking pervert to be front-page news. ~ Colleen Hoover

If I were you, Antonio I'd stay my ass right there, and wait on the police. I've about had it with your shit. ~ Sai Marie Johnson

She paused when he did not speak. "I know what I would do if I were you." Frantically, Tatiana chewed her lip. It was love or truth.
Love won.
Steeling herself, she said, "Yes," in a fragment of a voice. "I would choose America over you."
Alexander broke down. "Come here, you lying wife," he said, bringing her close, encompassing her. ~ Paullina Simons

Remember, most of the things you think you need are ego trips designed to bolster your image and your perception of security ... You'll waste a lot of energy satisfying your ego only to find that, as soon as it's got what it wants, it ignores all your efforts and promptly nails another list of demands to your forehead. The ego will always try to force you to slave for its vision. I wouldn't stand for that BS if I were you. ~ Stuart Wilde

I hope we shall get on together, you and I;
I've come to cheer you up - That's why
I'm dressed up like an aristocrat
In a fine red coat with golden stitches,
A stiff silk cape on top of that,
A long sharp dagger in my breeches,
And a cockerel's feather in my hat.
Take my advice - if I were you,
I'd get an outfit like this too;
Then you'd be well equipped to see
Just how exciting life can be. ~ Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

God Will, I wish you'd stop telling me what to do. What if I like watching television? What if I don't want to do much else other than read a book?" My voice had become shrill. "What if I'm tired when I get home? What if I don't need to fill my days with activity?"
"Bur one day you might wish you had", he said quietly.
"Do you know what I would do if I were you?"
I put down my peeler. "I suspect you're going to tell me."
"Yes. And I'm completely unembarrassed about telling you. I'd be doing night school. I'd be training as a seamstress or a fashion designer or whatever it is that taps into what you really love." He gestured at my minidress, a Sixties-inspired Pucci-type dress, made with the fabric that had once been a pair of Grandad's curtains.
The first time Dad had seen it he had pointed at me and yelled, "Hey, Lou, pull yourself together!" It had taken him a full five minutes to stop laughing.
"I'd be finding out what I could do that didn't cost much - keep-fit classes, swimming, volunteering, whatever. I'd be teaching myself music or going for long walks with somebody else's dog, or -"
"Okay, okay, I get the message," I said, irritably. "But I'm not you, Will."
"Luckily for you. ~ Jojo Moyes

Dear Sir, I must trouble you once more for congratulations. Elizabeth will soon be the wife of Mr. Darcy. Console Lady Catherine as well as you can. But, if I were you, I would stand by the nephew. He has more to give. Yours sincerely, etc. ~ Jane Austen

Men aren't really complicated, Ana, honey. They are very simple, literal creatures. They usually mean what they say. And we spend hours trying to analyze what they've said - when really it's obvious. If I were you, I'd take him literally. That might help. ~ E.L. James

Find her with the flowers.
The roses,
The marigolds.
Find her telling stories that
She's never before told.
Find her when she is vulnerable
And honest
And true.

When you find this girl,
Just know
I'd keep her close
If I were you.

She'll write a tale in growing time that
Almost seems to last forever.
Don't ask her when she will stop daydreaming.
She will simply look at you
And say,
"never"
Because forever in her fairy tales
the girl with the flowers will be.
Finding things of inspiration
To keep her heart beating
And her spirits light
Humming a simple harmony. ~ Alice Tyszka

The Chinese say that you should never, ever buy a used desk unless you know the history of it. They claim that if it belonged to a bad businessman, his karma will befall you. This one here belonged to President Kennedy. So what do you think that means? (Randy)
I don't know, but if I were you, I wouldn't ride through Dallas in a convertible in November. Bad feng shui. (Steele) ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

I should not, if I were you, wish to be, because 'sterner stuff' is usually forged by hardship. ~ Julie Anne Long

Wouldn't you like to have a magic phrase that would stop arguments, eliminate ill feeling, create good will, and make the other person listen attentively? Yes? All right. Here it is: "I don't blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do. ~ Dale Carnegie

I wouldn't point fingers if I were you. You know what they say: those who point fingers wind up with them broken so badly they point straight back at them. - Shazad ~ Alwyn Hamilton

This was certainly a fitting end to Valentine's Day." She slanted him a glance. "Tell me, was it really just chance that you drew my name at the ball?"
"What do you think?"
"I don't know. Celia told me on the way home that she thought it was Fate."
He arched one eyebrow. "Only if Fate's helper is the Duke of Foxmoor. He rigged the drawing for me."
To his surprise, she laughed. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself! I thought perhaps you'd spotted my name by chance, but deliberately cheating…You have no principles whatsoever, do you?"
"Not where you're concerned," he said.
That answer seemed to please her. Reassured of her ability to bewitch him, she stretched beside him like a cat, her full breasts moving enticingly under the sheet.
It roused him instantly. "I wouldn't do that if I were you, my dear."
"Do what?" Her gaze was full of curiosity.
"Display yourself so deliciously. Or I'm going to make love to you again."
A coy smile tipped up her lips. "Are you really?" She slid up next to him, her hand drawing a line down his bare chest in a motion worthy of the most experienced courtesan.
He caught her hand. "I mean it, minx. Don't tempt me. I'll have you on your back so fast you won't know what happened."
"And what would be wrong with that?"
He entwined his fingers with hers. Why couldn't he stop touching her? "It was your first time. Your body needs to rest."
"Oh." She frowned. "I suppose I am a little sore. ~ Sabrina Jeffries

Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you.'
'I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. ~ Lisa McMann

If I were you, I'd stick to the palm reading. Now, there's a trick that won't paralyze you from the neck down. ~ Angela Cervantes

Why are you offering me ten thousand dollars a month for babysitting? You didn't pay the nannies that. It's ridiculous. For ten thousand a month, you should not only get child care, you should get your house cleaned, your laundry done, your tires rotated, and if I were you, I'd insist on nightly blow jobs. Did you think I wouldn't notice that you're still trying to keep your thumb on me? ~ Jennifer Crusie

With a deliberate shrug, he stepped free of the hold on his shoulder. "Tell me something, boys," he drawled. "Do you wear that leather to turn each other on? I mean, is it a dick thing with you all?" Butch got slammed so hard against the door that his back teeth rattled.
The model shoved his perfect face into Butch's. "I'd watch your mouth, if I were you."
"Why bother, when you're keeping an eye on it for me? You gonna kiss me now?"
A growl like none Butch had ever heard came out of the guy.
"Okay, okay." The one who seemed the most normal came forward. "Back off, Rhage. Hey, come on. Let's relax."
It took a minute before the model let go.
"That's right. We're cool," Mr. Normal muttered, clapping his buddy on the back before looking at Butch. "Do yourself a favor and shut the hell up."
Butch shrugged. "Blondie's dying to get his hands on me. I can't help it."
The guy launched back at Butch, and Mr. Normal rolled his eyes, letting his friend go this time. The fist that came sailing at jaw level snapped Butch's head to one side. As the pain hit, Butch let his own rage fly. The fear for Beth, the pent-up hatred of these lowlifes, the frustration about his job, all of it came out of him. He tackled the bigger man, taking him down onto the floor. The guy was momentarily surprised, as if he hadn't expected Butch's speed or strength, and Butch took advantage of the hesitation. He clocked Blondie in the mouth as payback and then grabbed ~ J.R. Ward

Truth is not the secret of a few'
yet
you would maybe think so
the way some
librarians
and cultural ambassadors and
especially museum directors
act

you'd think they had a corner
on it
the way they
walk around shaking
their high heads and
looking as if they never
went to the bath
room or anything

But I wouldn't blame them
if I were you
They say the Spiritual is best conceived
in abstract terms
and then too
walking around in museums always makes me
want to
'sit down'
I always feel so
constipated
in those
high altitudes ~ Lawrence Ferlinghetti

If I were you, Mr. Lascelles," said Childermass, softly, "I would speak more guardedly. You are in the north now. In John Uskglass's own country. Our towns and cities and abbeys were built by him. Our laws were made by him. He is our minds and hearts and speech. Were it summer you would see a carpet of tiny flowers beneath every hedgerow, of a bluish-white colour. We call them John's Farthings. When the weather is contrary and we have warm weather in winter or it rains in summer the country people say that John Uskglass is in love again and neglects his business. And when we are sure of something we say it is as safe as a pebble in John Uskglass's pocket."
Lascelles laughed. "Far be it from me, Mr. Childermass, to disparage your quaint country sayings. But surely it is one thing to pay lip-service to one's history and quite another to talk of bringing back a King who numbered Lucifer himself among his allies and overlords? No one wants that, do they? I mean apart from a few Jihannites and madmen?"
"I am a North Englishman, Mr. Lascelles," said Childermass. "Nothing would please me better than that my King should come home. It is what I have wished for all my life. ~ Susanna Clarke

When they see the light at the end of the tunnel, some people run towards it. I, however, run from it as fast as I can because I know that it's attatched to a speeding train coming in our direction. And if I were you, staring at that light drooling and saying "Ooh, pretty," I would run as fast as my legs could carry me, because I don't plan on dying early with the rest of you fools. ~ Stephanie Tom

I stay pressed against the solid structure as the doors open . "I'd get some air if I were you. From the feel of it, you seem a little hot and bothered. ~ E.J. Mellow

Uh- you shouldn't mock orange if I were you
- Why not?
*everyone sings* He will He will mock you
He will He will mock you
*orange starts singing*
Hey buddy bannana
You live in a habana
you small like a cabana
but sdon't worry it's gonna be great someday
Really?
Orange: Nope..Not really
*Everyone sings*
He will He will mock you
He will He will mock you. ~ Annoying Orange

If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away. ~ Eoin Colfer

I'd lose that smile if I were you." I jingle the car keys in his face. "Your life is in my hands, lest you forget " My imitation of his cockney accent is actually spot-on, I let myself bask in it, ~ A.G. Howard

Are you saying I should run after her?"

"Crawl, actually, if I were you," recommended Aral. "Crawl fast. Slither under her door, go belly-up, let her stomp on you till she gets it out of her system. Then apologize some more. You may yet save the situation." Aral's eyes were openly alight with amusement now.

"What do you call that? Total surrender?" said Kou indignantly.

"No. I'd call it winning." His voice grew a shade cooler. "I've seen the war between men and women descend to scorched-earth heroics. Pyres of pride. You don't want to go down that road. I guarantee it. ~ Lois McMaster Bujold

Well, Henry, if I were you I wouldn't worry", said the lawyer. "My belief is that your boy's born lucky, and in the long run that's better than to be born clever or rich. ~ W. Somerset Maugham

Pausing with the teacup near her lips, Helen said, "I would rather marry you. It will be an adventure."
Somewhat mollified , Rhys picked up a light chair with one hand and moved it close to her. "I wouldn't count on much adventuring if I were you. I'm going to look after you and keep you safe."
She glanced at him over the rim of the cup, her eyes smiling. "What I meant was, you are the adventure. ~ Lisa Kleypas

Not that running away's going to solve everything. I don't want to rain on your parade or anything, but I wouldn't count on escaping this place if I were you. No matter how far you run. Distance might not solve anything. ~ Haruki Murakami

Puck stopped his drumming [on his belly] for a brief moment and grinned at Sabrina.
I hear they have a lot of plastic surgeons in New York City. If I were you I'd make an appointment for that face as soon as you get there," he quipped.
Sabrina scowled and shook a fist at him. "Keep it up, stinkpot, and you're going to need a plastic surgeon yourself."
Puck winked. "No need to get all mushy on me, Grimm. ~ Michael Buckley

Fellow seems quite unbalanced," said Fudge, staring after him. "I'd watch out for him if I were you, Dumbledore. ~ J.K. Rowling

The next time you face a customer who has every right to be upset, say something like this: 'I don't blame you for feeling as you do. If I were you, I'd feel exactly the same way. What would you like for me to do?' These are magical, healing words, and you'll be surprised at how reasonable people become when they believe you are on their side. ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

You can't have an honest fourth grade school teacher. Mr. and Mrs. Jones, Johnny, your son, your only child, the fruit of your loin, is a moron. I have no idea how this kid finds a door to get out of the house in the morning. If I were you, I would waste him and start over. Now, I say that with all due respect. ~ Dom Irrera

If I were you, I wouldn't try and track her down."
"Why not?"
"Because when it comes to Dee, you're better off not knowing where she's going or what she's up to. You'll only have to lie to the authorities later. ~ Shelly Laurenston

If I were you? I would go west instead of east. Land in Dorne and raise my banners. The Seven Kingdoms will never be more ripe for conquest than they are right now. A boy king sits the Iron Throne. The north is in chaos, the riverlands a devastation, a rebel holds Storm's End and Dragonstone. When winter comes, the realm will starve. And who remains to deal with all of this, who rules the little king who rules the Seven Kingdoms? Why, my own sweet sister. There is no one else. My brother, Jaime, thirsts for battle, not for power. He's run from every chance he's had to rule. My uncle Kevan would make a passably good regent if someone pressed the duty on him, but he will never reach for it. The gods shaped him to be a follower, not a leader." Well, the gods and my lord father. "Mace Tyrell would grasp the sceptre gladly, but mine own kin are not like to step aside and give it to him. And everyone hates Stannis. Who does that leave? Why, only Cersei. ~ George R R Martin

What would you do if you were me? she said.
If I were you-you, or if I were you-me?
If you were me-me.
If I were you-you, he said, I'd do exactly
what you're doing. ~ Robert Hass

I wouldn't eat too many of those [half-baked ideas] if I were you. They may look good, but you can get terribly sick of them."
-Tock ~ Norton Juster

If I were you I would face my clothes, to make sure that no one runs off with them! ~ Abu Hanifa

She planted her hands on her hips. "And what if I bag the most birds?"
"Then you get to shoot whomever you wish," Mr. Pinter drawled.
As the others laughed, Celia glared at him. He was certainly enjoying himself, the wretch. "I'd be careful if I were you, Mr. Pinter. That person would most likely be you."
"Oho, man, you've really got her dander up this time," Gabe exclaimed. "What on earth did you do?"
Mr. Pinter's gaze met hers, glinting with unholy amusement. "I confiscated her pistol."
A Gabe gasped, Oliver shook his head. "You'll learn soon enough-never take away one of Celia's guns. Not if you want to live."
"I'm not that bad," Celia grumbled as the duke and the viscount eyed her with a twinge of alarm, though Lord Devonmont's grin broadened. "I've never shot a person in my life."
"There's always a first time," Gabe teased.
"Oh, for pity's sake." She regarded them all stoutly. "I promise not to shoot any of you. How about this? If I win, you gentlemen owe me a rifle. Between the five of you, I'm sure you can afford a decent one."
"Five?" Mr. Pinter said. "Don't I get a part in this little game?"
She stared him down. "I thought you had certain duties to attend to." He should be investigating her suitors.
"Whatever duties he has for me will keep, Celia," Oliver said. "Do come with us, Pinter. I want to see how well you handle a fowling piece."
Mr. Pinter smiled at her. "I'd be honored, my lord. As long as her lady ~ Sabrina Jeffries

I always prayed the same way at night: "Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. Please bless my mother, father, sister, everyone in the word, and me. And please make my father quit drinking."
As a child growing up in a family battling alcoholism, this is what I know: Something bad is coming; it always does. I can't ask for help; I'm too ashamed. I can't talk about our secrets; no one understands. I can't trust anyone; they always leave.
Questions bounced off my self-constructed wall of values
a barricade I'd made from the fears I'd pushed into my darkness.
How could Ryan, a professional baseball player, really resist all those women? How could I really trust Jerry, my childhood friend? I'd barely awakened to sex and already boys were the seventh wonder of the world. Did anyone really trust another person? I needed proof. That proof hadn't revealed itself ... yet. ~ Pamela Taeuffer

I would be better at my job if I were technical. ~ Sheryl Sandberg

I would be annoyed if I were any more in tune with modern sensibilities. I was shaped differently. The world in which I grew up was Texan and Southern, and it had many, many failings. I think I've gotten rid of most of the bad things in myself from that earlier age, but I don't adjust to the way things are progressing now. ~ John Graves

You remember the Latin?"
"Of course. Vir prudens non contra ventum mingit." I couldn't see his face. Cease of the hood, but it could tell by the tone of his voice that he was completely serious. Or at least trying to be. I wrinkled my forehead as I attempted to translate.
"Wait a second," Seth said, pulling back his hood to demonstrate his utter confusion. "I thought their greeting was Non ducor, duco. 'I am not led, I lead.'"
Liam's shoulders began shaking just as I finished my rough translation. "A wise man does not urinate against the wind?" I pulled down my hood and looked at Liam. He winked at me, and it was pretty much the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my life. Normally, I'm very anti-wink when it comes to guys, but in this case it was a wink of absolution. It was a wink that meant Liam and I were actually going to be okay.
"You've been planning that all night, haven't you?" I reached over and squeezed his arm. It was the first time I had touched him in at least twenty-four hours, and his strong forearm felt so good beneath my fingertips. When he grabbed my hand and quickly brought my palm to his lips, I felt all the air leave my body. As much as I hated to admit it, for fear of sounding like a ridiculous, boy-crazed damsel in distress, it felt good to have my boyfriend back.
Taylor whipped back her hood, her blue eyes icy. "I'm so glad this is such a joke to you," she spat, clearly not in the mood for games.
Liam dropped my hand ~ Lisa Roecker

I now think that was distanced me from Tricia and from the Rape Crisis Center was their use of generalities. I did not want to be one of a group or compared with others. It somehow blindsided my sense that I was going to survive. Tricia prepared me for failure by saying that it would be okay if I failed. She did this by showing me that the odds out there were against me. But what she told me, I didn't want to hear. In the face of dismal statistics regarding arrest, prosecution, and even full recovery for the victim, I saw no choice but to ignore the statistics. I needed what gave me hope, like being assigned a female assistant district attorney, not the news that the number of rape prosecutions in Syracuse for that calendar year had been nil. ~ Alice Sebold

The very actions themselves can be a meditation. For me, walking is certainly a meditation if I walk for awhile. First my mind is busy and I'm thinking about different things and after a while that starts to fall away and I start to become very present in the moment. And that feeling of being present in the moment is being. That's when we know we're connecting with being energy. ~ Shakti Gawain

The conversation of the gods! - I didn't resent or feel aggrieved because I couldn't understand it. I was the smallest of the planets, and if I carried messages between them and I couldn't always understand, that was in order too: they were something in a foreign language - star-talk. ~ L.P. Hartley

I've changed over my writing life. If I can generalize, I would say that the more recent poems - believe it or not - are more pointedly political; although, if the earlier poems were more existential, they were still political; though, in their own way, had a complicated presence. ~ Gerald Stern

What is a Gallagher Girl?" Liz asked.

She looked nervously down at the papers in her hand even though I knew for a fact she had memorized every word.

"When I was eleven I thought I knew the answer to that question. That was when the recruiters came to see me. They showed me brochures and told me they were impressed by my test scores and asked if I was ready to be challenged. And I said yes. Because that was what a Gallagher Girl was to me then, a student at the toughest school in the world."

She took a deep breath and talked on.

"What is a Gallagher Girl?" Liz asked again. "When I was thirteen I thought I knew the answer to that question. That was when Dr. Fibs allowed me to start doing my own experiments in the lab. I could go anywhere - make anything. Do anything my mind could dream up. Because I was a Gallagher Girl. And, to me, that meant I was the future."

Liz took another deep breath.

"What is a Gallagher Girl?" This time, when Liz asked it, her voice cracked. "When I was seventeen I stood on a dark street in Washington, D.C., and watched one Gallagher Girl literally jump in front of a bullet to save the life of another. I saw a group of women gather around a girl whom they had never met, telling the world that if any harm was to come to their sister, it had to go through them first."

Liz straightened. She no longer had to look down at her paper as she said, "What is a Gallagher Girl? I'm eight ~ Ally Carter

Oh, he thinks, if I were a better person. If I were a more generous person. If I were a less self-involved person. If I were a braver person. ~ Hanya Yanagihara