Dale Carnegie Quotes

Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

Make a man laugh a good hearty laugh, and you've paved the way for friendship. When a man laughs with you, he, to some extent, likes you.

My popularity, my happiness and sense of worth depend to no small extent upon my skill in dealing with people.

Every day I pray. I yield myself to God and the tensions and anxieties go out of me and peace and power come in.

The very best way in all the world to overcome self-consciousn ess and shyness is to get interested in other people and to think of them and, almost miraculously, your timidity will pass. Do something for other people. Practice deeds of kindness, acts of friendliness, and you'll be surprised to see what happens.

Be a balanced optimist. Nobody is suggesting that you become an oblivious Pollyanna, pretending that nothing bad can or ever will happen. Doing so can lead to poor decisions and invites people to take advantage of you. Instead, be a rational optimist who takes the good with the bad, in hopes of the good ultimately outweighing the bad, and with the understanding that being pessimistic about everything accomplishes nothing. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best - the former makes you sensible, and the latter makes you an optimist.

If we speak poorly about that which we do well ... people will assume we perform poorly!

There is only one way ... to get anybody to do anything. And that is by making the other person want to do it.

What is the answer to this fatigue? Relax! Relax! Relax! Learn to relax while you are doing your work!

Today is the only time we can possibly live.

Remember that tomorrow when you are trying to get somebody to do something. If, for example, you don't want your children to smoke, don't preach at them, and don't talk about what you want; but show them that cigarettes may keep them from making the basketball team or winning the hundred-yard dash.

Students of public speaking continually ask, "How can I overcome
self-consciousness and the fear that paralyzes me before an
audience?"
Did you ever notice in looking from a train window that some
horses feed near the track and never even pause to look up at the
thundering cars, while just ahead at the next railroad crossing a
farmer's wife will be nervously trying to quiet her scared horse as
the train goes by?
How would you cure a horse that is afraid of cars - graze him in a
back-woods lot where he would never see steam-engines or
automobiles, or drive or pasture him where he would frequently see
the machines?
Apply horse-sense to ridding yourself of self-consciousness and
fear: face an audience as frequently as you can, and you will soon stop shying. You can never attain
freedom from stage-fright by reading a treatise. A book may give
you excellent suggestions on how best to conduct yourself in the
water, but sooner or later you must get wet, perhaps even strangle
and be "half scared to death." There are a great many "wetless"
bathing suits worn at the seashore, but no one ever learns to swim
in them. To plunge is the only way.

Don't criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances.

After all, nobody likes to be sold. But we all like to make good buying decisions.

When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make a decision. Don't keep putting off decisions.

Remember what Lincoln said: 'A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.

Happiness is largely an attitude of mind, of viewing life from the right angle.

You never achieve success unless you like what you are doing.

Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.

All the king's horses and all the king's men can't put the past together again. So let's remember: Don't try to saw sawdust.

Napoleon was criticized for giving "toys" to war-hardened veterans, and Napoleon replied, "Men are ruled by toys.

I once asked General Eisenhower's son, John, if his father ever nourished resentments. "No," he replied, "Dad never wastes a minute thinking about people he doesn't like.

To leave the road of continual failure, a person must first utter the three most difficult words to say: 'I was wrong.

The way to defeat fear: decide on a course of conduct and follow it. Keep so busy and work so hard that you forget about being afraid.

The life of many a person could probably be changed if only someone would make him feel important.

So if you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments. Remember

Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with each of the contestants more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely right.

George Bernard Shaw was right. He summed it all up when he said: "The secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not." So don't bother to think about it! Spit on your hands and get busy. Your blood will start circulating; your mind will start ticking-and pretty soon this whole positive upsurge of life in your body will drive worry from your mind. Get busy. Keep busy. It's the cheapest kind of medicine there is on this earth-and one of the best.

If you want to win friends, make it a point to remember them. If you remember my name, you pay me a subtle compliment; you indicate that I have made an impression on you. Remember my name and you add to my feeling of importance.

Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.

Great speakers are not born, they're trained.

Do things for others and you'll find your self-consciousness evaporating like morning dew.

Good speakers usually find when they finish that there have been four versions of the speech: the one they delivered, the one they prepared, the one the newspapers say was delivered, and the one on the way home they wish they had delivered.

There is only one excuse for a speaker's asking the attention of his audience: he must have either truth or entertainment for them.

Seventy per cent of all patients who come to physicians could cure themselves if they got rid of their fears and worries.

Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

Every minister, lecturer and public speaker know the discouragement of pouring himself of herself out to an audience and not receiving a single ripple of appreciative comment.

Never be bothered by what people say, as long as you know in your heart you are right.

If a man will devote his time to securing facts in an impartial, objective way, his worries will usually evaporate in the light of knowledge.

The man who starts out going nowhere, generally gets there.

Mind you, I got this reduction without saying a word about what I wanted. I talked all the time about what the other person wanted and how he could get it.

People say I'm cocky, but am I supposed to sit here and be insecure and not know where my future's going or not realize that moviemaking is the greatest thing to happen to me?

Everyone should have a deep-seated interest or hobby to enrich his mind, add zest to living, and perhaps, depending upon what it is, result in a service to his country.

I am convinced now that nothing good is accomplished and a lot of damage can be done if you tell a person straight out that he or she is wrong. You only succeed in stripping that person of self-dignity and making yourself an unwelcome part of any discussion.

The difference between a grave and a rut are the dimensions.

Without purpose, the days would have ended, as such days always end, in disintegration."*

A man usually has two reasons for doing a thing: the one that sounds good and the real one.

Once I did bad and that I heard ever. Twice I did good, but that I heard never.

STOP
AND LOOK out the window and see how beautiful the world is. It is
there-enjoy it. Go out tonight and look up at the stars. They are the
wonders of nature

Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.

Flattery is from the teeth out. Sincere appreciation is from the heart out.

To change somebody's behavior, change the level of respect she receives by giving her a fine reputation to live up to. Act as though the trait you are trying to influence is already one of the person's outstanding characteristics.

Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it ... that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear.

Always make the other person feel important. John Dewey, as we have already noted, said that the desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature; and William James said: The

If your temper is aroused and you tell 'em a thing or two, you will have a fine time unloading your feelings. But what about the other fellow? Will he share your pleasure? Will your belligerent tones, your hostile attitude, make it easy for him to agree with you? "If you come at me with your fists doubled," said Wood row Wilson, "I think I can promise you that mine will double as fast as yours; but if you come to me and say, 'Let us sit down and take counsel together, and, if we differ from one another, understand why it is that we differ from one another, just what the points at issue are,' we will presently find that we are not so far apart after all, that the points on which we differ are few and the points on which we agree are many, and that if we only have the patience and the candor and the desire to get together, we will get together.

There are always three speeches, for every one you actually gave. The one you practiced, the one you gave, and the one you wish you gave.

If we merely try to impress people and get people interested in us, we will never have many true, sincere friends. Friends, real friends, are not made that way.

I can look back at my own life and see where a few words of praise have sharply changed my entire future. Can't you say the same thing about your life?

Neither you nor I nor Einstein nor the Supreme Court of the United States is brilliant enough to reach an intelligent decision on any problem without first getting the facts

Life is bigger than processes and overflows and dwarfs them.

Try to fix firmly in your mind what you would like to do; and then, without veering off direction, you will move straight to the goal,

Wouldn't you like to have a magic phrase that would stop arguments, eliminate ill feeling, create good will, and make the other person listen attentively? Yes? All right. Here it is: "I don't blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do.

If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you.

Swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside. There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor. At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table.

One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses.

The ability to speak well is the shortcut to distinction.

Let's realize that the person we are going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself or herself, and condemn us in return; or, like the gentle Taft, will say: I don't see how I could have done any differently from what I have.

Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.

Our mental attitude is the x factor that determines our fate.

One of the surest ways of making a friend and influencing the opinion of another is to give consideration to his opinion, to let him sustain his feeling of importance.

Every one thinks he's a good person, even those on Death Row.

Don't Criticize, Condemn, Or Complain.

Let's not allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. Remember "Life is too short to be little".

We move toward what we picture in our minds.

A good deed, "said the prophet Mohammed, "is one that brings a smile of joy to the face of another."
Why will doing a good deed every day produce such astounding efforts on the doer?
Because trying to please others will cause us to stop thinking of ourselves: the very
thing that produces worry and fear and melancholia.

Good leaders are scarce; so I'm following myself.

A blow that would kill a civilized man soon heals on a savage. The higher we go in the scale of life, the greater is the capacity for suffering.

Flattery is counterfeit, and like counterfeit money, it will eventually get you into trouble if you pass it to someone else.

The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish; the other selfish. One is universally admired; the other universally condemned.

Action springs out of what we fundamentally desire

Remember, happiness doesn't depend upon who you are or what you have, it depends solely upon what you think.

To recall a voter's name is statesmanship. To forget it is oblivion.

If you are not in the process of becoming the person you want to be, you are automatically engaged in becoming the person you don't want to be.

There is a certain degree of satisfaction in having the courage to admit one's errors.

Would you sell both your eyes for a million dollars ... or your two legs ... or your hands ... or your hearing? Add up what you do have, and you'll find you won't sell them for all the gold in the world. The best things in life are yours, if you can appreciate them.

By all means take thought for the tomorrow, yes, careful thought and planning and preparation. But have no anxiety.

If you do something for someone else, never remember. If someone does something for you, never forget.

Instead of condemning people, let's try to understand them. Let's try to figure out why they do what they do. That's a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. To know all is to forgive all.

I don't blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do.( ... ) You can say that and be 100 percent sincere, because if you were the other person you, of course, would feel just as he does ( ... ) Suppose you had inherited the same body and temperament and mind ( ... ) Suppose you had had his environment and experiences. You would then be precisely what he was - and where he was. For it is those things -and only those things - that made him what he was. ( ... ) You deserve very little credit for being what you are - and remember, the people who come to you irritated, bigoted, unreasoning, deserve very little discredit for being what they are.

Encouragement makes a fault easy to correct, and a challenge easy to take on.

Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.

Remember that unjust critisism is often a disquised compliment.

We can't win friends with a scowling face and an upbraiding voice.

If you do these things (read good books), what will be your reward? Gradually, unconsciously but inevitably, your diction will begin to take on added beauty and refinement. Gradually, you will begin to reflect someone the glory and beauty and majesty of your companions.

Take a chance! All life is a chance

Say 'Hello' in tones that bespeak how pleased you are to have the person call.

Don't ask a man what is important to him. Watch how he spends his time

Don't be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.

Do you know the most important trait a man can have?
It is not executive ability; it is not a great mentality; it is not kindliness, nor courage, nor a sense of humor, though each of these is of tremendous importance.
In my opinion, it is the ability to make friends, which, boiled down, means the ability to see the best in man.

There is nothing either good or bad, said Shakespeare,