Funny Real Estate Quotes

Sorry, Bex," Jason said "You don't have the recognizable facial characteristics - such as a huge chin, or a large amount of real estate between the eyes - that would merit the bestowing of a criminal mastermind nickname such as Lockjaw or Walleye. Whereas Crazytop here ... well, just look at her."
"Atleast I can blow-dry my hair straight," I pointed out. "Which is more than what I can say for your nose, Hawkface. ~ Meg Cabot

To a large extent: it's about economy of space. You have so little real estate when you're writing a half hour show. It's really twenty minutes. So you have to with a pilot introduce all your characters, set up the premise in a way that shows the potential for a series and make it funny and do it all in about thirty-five or forty pages. It's very hard. ~ Jonathan M. Goldstein

If this were a courageous country,
it would ask Gloria to lead it
since she is sane and funny and beautiful and smart
and the National Leaders we've always had
are not.
When I listen to her talk about women's rights
children's rights
men's rights
I think of the long line of Americans
who should have been president, but weren't.
Imagine Crazy Horse as president. Sojourner Truth.
John Brown. Harriet Tubman. Black Elk or Geronimo.
Imagine President Martin Luther King confronting
the youthful "Oppie" Oppenheimer. Imagine President
Malcolm X going after the Klan. Imagine President Stevie
Wonder dealing with the "Truly Needy."
Imagine President Shirley Chisholm, Ron Dellums, or
Sweet Honey in the Rock
dealing with Anything.
It is imagining to make us weep with frustration,
as we languish under real estate dealers, killers,
and bad actors. ~ Alice Walker

Passive Income: It's not just about real estate ~ Chris Guillebeau

Carlos, your mysophobia does affect my health. I feel freer – more alive, more vivacious and, ironically enough, healthier – if I'm not constantly made to worry about germs and unhealthy choices. Whether it's for a moment of spontaneous kissing in a phone booth or eating an occasional hamburger…Obsessing about your health doesn't actually make you healthier. The fact of the matter is, Carlos, our bodies are decaying at every moment, regardless of what we do. Living is bad for your health."

"It doesn't have to be."

"Maybe if you live in an antiseptic bubble specially designed by the CDC it doesn't. But in a place like New York City, you're fighting a pointless battle. You can either embrace the dirt and the germs as part of the risky joy of living in an exciting, overpopulated metropolis, or you can spend lots of mental real estate obsessing over whether you touched a few extra microbes when you got on the subway. ~ Zack Love

It's funny when people ask if I'm a lesbian. I played a real estate agent in 'Father of the Bride, Part II,' but no one has asked me if I sell real estate. ~ Nora Dunn

No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave. ~ Mark Twain

A great real estate agent don't sells, he helps. ~ Amit Kalantri

If you don't find a good deal for your customer, your competitor will. ~ Amit Kalantri

Skeleton key property management associated with managing several real estate properties efficiently and organization of residential properties,Investor Services, Property Management commercial and industrial real estate in Rochester NY. ~ Real Estate Investment Property NY

The most profitable investment on the land is land. ~ Amit Kalantri

Now, one thing I tell everyone is learn about real estate. Repeat after me: real estate provides the highest returns, the greatest values and the least risk. ~ Armstrong Williams

Real estate investing, even on a very small scale, remains a tried and true means of building an individual's cash flow and wealth. ~ Robert T. Kiyosaki

A real estate closer. Oh, what's that? I'm a real estate opener. What is a real estate closer? You mean at the end where you've got to sign all those papers? ~ Louie Anderson

By 2003, every fool was getting into real estate. The checkout girl at my local supermarket handed me her newly printed real estate agent business card. ~ Robert Kiyosaki

As you build your real estate empire, don't get lost in greed and ambition. Whether through your money, your time, your knowledge, or something else: give back. ~ Brandon Turner

Search New York Real estate listing and find homes for sale, flats, apartment to buy through first local real estate office in Rochester USA. ~ Skeleton Key Property Management

Today the strategies of many companies in the real estate industry are premised on low interest rates, an assumption that has resulted in the rapid expansion of the real estate securitization business. This trend could be regarded as a risk factor, as it exposes the real estate sector to at least three potential problems: first, interest rate hikes; second, revisions to securitization business accounting standards; and third, overheating in the real estate market. ~ Akira Mori

The major fortunes in America have been made in land. ~ John D. Rockefeller

In an age of so many people getting hurt in real estate, it shows that you can still do well in real estate. ~ Donald Trump

Now would I give a thousand furlongs of sea for an acre of barren ground. ~ William Shakespeare

A Realtor is an old fashioned Real Estate man with a neck tie. A Real Estate man sold you what you wanted, a Realtor sells you what you don't need. A Real Estate man showed you what you could raise on the land, a Realtor tells you what you can build on it. ~ Will Rogers

Every person who invests in well-selected real estate in a growing section of a prosperous community adopts the surest and safest method of becoming independent, for real estate is the basis of wealth. ~ Theodore Roosevelt

Golf courses sell real estate and that's why they're built. ~ Ed McMahon

Successful real estate investing begins with identifying value. How do investors identify value? That's easy. They look at real estate. They look at a lot of real estate. They look very carefully at a lot of real estate. I wish I could tell you there was a shortcut, but there's not, and I caution you against trying to create one. When you are starting to learn the value of real estate in an area, you will need to look at a lot of real estate. And as you carefully begin to get a sense of what people are asking and what people are willing to pay, you gain a sense of market value - what's worth what. This applies to both sales prices and rental rates. These are the two big variables in the value equation. ~ Gary Keller

I made a tremendous amount of money on real estate. I'll take real estate rather than go to Wall Street and get 2.8 percent. Forget about it. ~ Ivana Trump

And if you call one a real estate agent and he won't sell you anything. He is a REALATOR. It's the same as what the old fashioned real estate agent used to be only the commission is different. ~ Will Rogers

Real estate is one sector that India is not very proud of. ~ Kushal Pal Singh

As the industry has matured, real estate has become a very accepted investment. Institutions have used core investments to get comfortable with real estate as an asset class, and now that they're comfortable they're moving up the risk spectrum. ~ Richard Price

To my real estate agent, Chernobyl is a fixer-upper. ~ Yakov Smirnoff

Real estate is the best investment on earth, however, when the music stops playing, which happens occasionally, don't be the one left without a chair. ~ Steven Ivy Attorney Entrepreneur

I believe that the Chinese people as a whole love to make investments in real estate. ~ Pansy Ho

Remember the story of the tortoise and the hare? While many investors have 'sprinted' toward their investment goals, success is most often found by consistent action, not big action. ~ Brandon Turner

Sam Wood, the director, made most of his money as a real estate agent; there was nothing of the temperamental artist about him. ~ Gloria Swanson

I'm a real estate guy. ~ Robert Kiyosaki

In the mid-1990s, when Russia was undergoing a construction boom, I entered the real estate development market. ~ Yelena Baturina

I've always wanted to be the biggest real estate man to come down the pike. ~ Leona Helmsley

I think of real estate as a little bit like cooking or like art. ~ Jerry Speyer

We're the real estate industry - not the manufacturers. ~ Joe Murray

My father worked two jobs. He assembled speakers during the day, and then he sold real estate at night and on weekends. And then he eventually, when he was in his mid-50s, became a full-time real estate salesman. ~ Terry J. Lundgren

It's sad and upsetting when you see somebody crying hysterically, but at the same time it's real funny. ~ Seth Green

L.A. streets aren't just paved real estate but a cosmology, a manifestation of the city's sensibility. ~ Steve Erickson

I was a huge 'Friends' fan. I had a very small part. I played a real-estate agent in the very last season. ~ Jane Lynch

First and foremost, I'm a real estate person. And that's what I love the most. ~ Donald Trump

What went wrong is we had tremendous concentration in the sense we put a lot of our money to work against U.S. real estate. We got here by lending money, and putting money to work in the U.S. real estate market, in a size that was probably larger than what we ought to have done on a diversification basis. ~ Vikram Pandit

The idea that maybe you don't have to own a car if you only need one occasionally may catch on, just like time-sharing caught on in real estate. ~ Steve Case

I'm very harsh on real estate agents. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because of how the call every small house 'charming' and every run-down house a 'great fixer-upper'. Just once, I'd like them to show me a house and declare, 'This one's a piece of crap'. ~ Stephan Pastis

In 1997, in Rich Dad, Poor Dad, I stated, 'Your home is not an asset.' Real estate agents sent me hate mail. ~ Robert Kiyosaki

The hardest part, for real, is probably when you just don't feel like going on stage and being funny. ~ Greg Giraldo

The industrial real estate market completed one of its strongest demand cycles in history as several factors ignited the fire. For projects coming on line in 2005, record-low interest rates during the design phase 12 to 18 months prior provided additional incentive for development and absorption. ~ Brian Gordon

Men are fools to invest in real estate. ~ Basil Bunting

A typical day in my writing life starts with looking at pictures of real estate online for at least 20 minutes. If I happen to be actually in the market for a house, I do this for 40 minutes. Then I walk my dog, come back home, and tell myself I can look at real estate for another five minutes. ~ Meghan Daum

I arrived at my hut in Beverly Hills just in time to keep real estate men from plotting off and selling my front yard. They will sell you anything or anybody's in the world as long as they can get a first payment ... It used to be only Iowa that was out here but now they have three or four adjoining states interested and they are here, too. Real estate agents - you never saw as many in your life; they are as thick as bootleggers. ~ Will Rogers

I also love real estate and decorating. ~ Deana Carter

Home staging is no longer optional in this real estate market, it is a must! ~ Barbara Corcoran

Death possesses a good deal, of real estate, namely, the graveyard in every town. ~ Nathaniel Hawthorne

The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own. ~ Frank Zappa

The difference between religions and cults is determined by how much real estate is owned. ~ Frank Zappa

I don't do comedy. I think if a situation is funny you just play it for real and if it's funny, it's funny. ~ Morgan Freeman

It is not real estate, gold, stocks, hard work, or money that makes you rich; it is what you know about real estate, gold, stocks, hard work, and money that makes you rich. Ultimately, it is your financial intelligence that makes you rich. ~ Robert T. Kiyosaki

If you do not like Real Estate, all you have to do is make hamburgers, build a business around that hamburger, and franchise it. ~ Robert Kiyosaki

Successful people in real estate are nicest people you can know. ~ Wendy Alexander

As every real estate agent knows, a poor house in good surroundings will sell for a higher price than a better house in poor surroundings, and in a town they confidently ask 25 percent more rent for a flat with a view of a park that for an identical flat with no view. ~ Nan Fairbrother

I'm not funny. People assume that because my books are funny, I'll be funny in real life. It's the inevitable disappointment of meeting me. ~ Jonathan Safran Foer

I should say we know that there are many, many other Earths out there. We're almost certain that there will be upwards of a billion Earth-like planets in our galaxy alone, so there is no lack of real estate where life might happen, but what we don't know is how likely it is given the real estate, given a wonderful pristine planet like Earth how likely is it that life will pop up inhabited? We don't know the answer to that. ~ Paul Davies

People recognize intellectual property the same way they recognize real estate. People understand what property is. But it's a new kind of property, and so the understanding uses new control surfaces. It uses a new way of defining the property. ~ Michael Nesmith

Everyone said, 'You can't lose money in real estate, because they're not making any more of it.' Hmmmm. Where did everyone go wrong? ~ Jane Bryant Quinn

If any American really believes that Obamacare is going to control costs, I've got some real estate in Whitewater, Arkansas I'd like to sell them. ~ Jonathan Gruber

You can't be funny for funny's sake. You try to get as outrageous situation as you can but it always has to be believable and based in real character motivations and what people would really do. ~ Hank Azaria

New Yorkers are predatory about real estate. When they sense softening, they move in for the kill. ~ Anderson Cooper

Being a champion opens lots of doors - I'd like to get a real estate license, maybe sell insurance. ~ Mike Tyson

I made the choice long ago to write about real life. And life is both serious and funny. ~ Paula Danziger

The average citizen expresses pride in the American Bill of Rights and then seeks to protect his real estate by restrictive covenants. ~ Harry Allen Overstreet

I always had one goal, and that was to be a real funny stand-up comic, and that's pretty much what I'm doing. And everything else is kind of like gravy - TV, movies. ~ Wanda Sykes

Well, the clothes are really cool that we wear. The sets are so funny, because it's like everything is so real. ~ Laura Prepon

I'm not a real estate developer. I'm a golfer. I'm a sportsman. ~ Bob McNair

The studies that show the reason Washington real estate is booming and there are so many lobbyists in town, it does pay. ~ Mark Shields

That man does not possess his estate, but his estate possesses him. ~ Diogenes Laertius

Ideas aren't real estate, they grow collectively and that knocks out the egotistical loneliness that generally infects art. ~ Robert Redford

In this branch of utopian real estate, architecture is no longer the art of designing buildings so much as the brutal skyward extrusion of whatever site the developer has managed to assemble. ~ Rem Koolhaas

As people seek to improve their living environment, there will be continuous demand for residential property. Investment in real estate market should have reasonable prospects in the long run. ~ Li Ka-shing

In a real estate man's eye, the most expensive part of the city is where he has a house to sell ~ Will Rogers

It's funny how the colours of the like real world only seem real real when you viddy them on a screen ~ Anthony Burgess

It's funny how the colors of the real world only seem really real when you watch them on a screen. ~ Anthony Burgess

I realize you cant just throw real gems at ppl ... because they think cubic zirconia is the real thing lol ~ Fee Scott

There are three key assets in retail: real estate, inventory, and people. ~ Zeynep Ton

Real estate offers huge financial advantages to those who will learn the system. ~ Garrett Sutton

What is art except being the real estate agent of your own neuroses. ~ Guillaume Morissette

Gift of the Real Estate Gods. ~ Gary Keller

It's rather grisly, isnt it, how soon a living man becomes nothing more than a collection of stocks and bonds and debts and real estate? ~ John Dos Passos

What we call real estate - the solid ground to build a house on - is the broad foundation on which nearly all the guilt of this world rests. ~ Nathaniel Hawthorne

Settling other people's land is an American tradition. ~ Ariel Gore

In my experience, in the real-estate business past success stories are generally not applicable to new situations. We must continually reinvent ourselves, responding to changing times with innovative new business models. ~ Akira Mori

Real estate is still a great investment opportunity for households. Price appreciation will continue. It may not be at 20%. It may ... even go down to 5%. ~ David Lereah

Real estate is the best investment in the world because it is the only thing they're not making any more. ~ Will Rogers

The real problem you get with humour is that you only have so many kinds of jokes within you, and you mine that vein a lot. This isn't just common to me; it's anybody who's funny. ~ Bill Bryson

He could sell snow to an Eskimo.
--Overheard in a Real Estate Office ~ Bob Eckstein

American's capacity for real estate improvement; build yourself a house, grow fat in it, and die. ~ Norman Mailer

I find anger to be funny. I find people that are so wrapped up in their own personalities to be funny, and lost. Like myself in real life. ~ Zach Galifianakis

Race prejudice decreases values, both real estate and human. ~ W.E.B. Du Bois