Funny Financial Planning Quotes

At LearnVest, we're working to make financial planning both accessible and affordable so that everyone has the opportunity to get on track financially. ~ Alexa Von Tobel

Financial illiteracy is like being in a rain storm and trying to jump in between the raindrops ... eventually it all catches you at the same time. ~ Johnnie Dent Jr.

Financial prosperity is impossible without constant planning and management of money. ~ Sunday Adelaja

Lack of financial planning is the root of all empty wallets ~ Mac Duke The Strategist

Financial fitness is not pipe dream or a state of mind it's a reality if you are willing to pursue it and embrace it. ~ Will Robinson

Among other objectives, liquidity guidelines must take into account the risks that inadequate liquidity planning by major financial firms pose for the broader financial system, and they must ensure that these firms do not become excessively reliant on liquidity support from the central bank. ~ Ben Bernanke

Financial Freedom is less about Financials and more about FREEDOM ~ Manoj Arora

We're providing planning to a huge audience who's never had access to financial planners before. This was always my plan for LearnVest. It was in my very first pitch deck. ~ Alexa Von Tobel

The Senate has sent President Obama a spending bill that gives the government enough money to keep going for two weeks. Our Congress has the financial planning skills of a college sophomore. ~ Conan O'Brien

This isn't like cancer, where we don't know the solution. Financial planning is math. We have the answers, yet it's this huge cause of stress. ~ Alexa Von Tobel

You wouldn't get in a car and drive around aimlessly, hoping to eventually arrive at a pleasant destination. So why would you even consider doing this for your business? ~ Koos Kruger

The 'do nothing everything will be all right' default plan is determined by the IRS and government. ~ Sean Novinson

Thoughtful financial planning can easily take a backseat to daily life. ~ Suze Orman

You do pay a price for your Financial Freedom, but it is far lesser than what you pay for a Lifetime Slavery. ~ Manoj Arora

Long term thinking and planing enhances short term decision making. Make sure you have a plan of your life in your hand, and that includes the financial plan and your mission. ~ Manoj Arora

Central banking has become the new central planning. Under the old central planning, government attempted to manage production and the supply of goods and services. Under the new central planning, the Fed attempts to manage the financial system and the supply and allocation of credit. ~ Anonymous

If you start working in your twenties and retire at age sixty you may spend as many years in retirement as you did working. ~ Michael Bivona

That's why it's important to try to live in the present. The present is the only place we can live. When we live in the present, we are alert to what's actually happening -- to us and in the world at large. We can then act based on that awareness. And financial planning based on reality tends to lead to better results.

By contrast, when we live in the future, we are lost in fantasy or fear. When we live in the past, we are lost in regret or nostalgia. Financial planning based on fantasy, fear, regret, and nostalgia is likely to lead to more of the same. ~ Carl Richards

I finally know what distinguishes man from the other beasts: financial worries. ~ Jules Renard

I feel like I run a business although I haven't one. It's planning, planning, and planning. ~ Meryl Streep

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial. ~ Erma Bombeck

The day you realise what small, incremental progress can achieve over a period of time, you would agree that SMALL is actually BIG, very BIG !!

If you increase your daily productivity by just 1%, you end up doing 37.7 times more work by the end of the year - yes 37.7 times.

1 x 1 x 1.....365 times = 1
1.01 x 1.01 x 1.01 ...... 365 times = 37.7

Same way, Financial Freedom Planning is just the beginning.

But only those who continue to go through the grind, track their financial freedom journey month on month - for years together, manifest the true power of SMALL ! ~ Manoj Arora

Environmental planning has been too scientific, too man-centred, too past-fixated and two-dimensional. ~ Tom Turner

It's a funny thing, how much time we spend planning our lives. We so convince ourselves of what we want to do, that sometimes we don't see what we're meant to do. ~ Susan Gregg Gilmore

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves. ~ Joe E. Lewis

True financial freedom doesn't depend on how much money you have. Financial freedom is when you have power over your fears and anxieties instead of the other way around. ~ Suze Orman

Freedom and wealth is an outcome of "Time"; the most precious asset that we all possess.
Time however is a variable to each individual as our actions from our choices determine the longevity and returns from this asset.
To maximize the return on this asset is determined by the energy that we put forth in developing our financial education, relationships and health. ~ Scott Burton

You do not need to be a millionaire to feel successful or be successful. Financial wealth is only one of many possible indicators of success. However, to achieve your dreams and life goals you're going to need money. And making it requires financial planning and goalsetting. I do not know of any successful person who has been able to simply ignore their finances. ~ Nigel Cumberland

Time, not money, is your biggest asset in life. You need time to invest in relationships (with yourself and your family) or to chase your passion.
"Think again" if you are still trading off time for money.
Let your money work for you. You don't work for money. That is exactly what Financial Freedom is ... ~ Manoj Arora

Because financially capable consumers ultimately contribute to a stable economic and financial system as well as improve their own financial situations, it's clear that the Federal Reserve has a significant stake in financial education. ~ Ben Bernanke

If you don't take care of your money your money won't take care of you. ~ Mac Duke The Strategist

If you are an adult, and you are planning to dress up on Halloween ... don't. I will find you. I will hurt you. ~ Lewis Black

Apparently modern financial regulators are vastly more sophisticated than we were as financial regulators 25 years ago - because we had never figured out that the key to financial stability was leaving felons in charge of the largest financial institutions in the world. ~ William K. Black

Far too many people are signing up to become slaves to their credit card companies. ~ Celso Cukierkorn

He who fails to plan, plans to fail. ~ Emily Giffin

If there had been a Financial Product Safety Commission in place 10 years ago, the current financial crisis would have been averted. ~ Elizabeth Warren

The heart of the 2008 financial crisis was a coterie of reckless financial executives, working for too-big-to-fail financial companies, who were handsomely compensated for taking risks that almost ruined the economy when they failed. ~ Gary Weiss

Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine. ~ Bob Carter

Financial security and independence are like a three-legged stool resting on savings, insurance and investments ~ Brian Tracy

The subprime disaster was a result of financial bombs - derivatives - exploding in financial institutions such as AIG and Lehman Brothers, as well as banks and financial institutions throughout the world. ~ Robert Kiyosaki

The most important product of interactive planning is the planning process, not plans. It is in the planning process that knowledge, understanding, and wisdom are generated. It is in these acquisitions that the value of planning resides. ~ Anonymous

Luck is the residue of good planning. ~ David Ignatius

Whatever you're thinking about is literally like planning a future event. When you're worrying, you are planning. When you are appreciating, you are planning ... What are you planning? ~ Esther Hicks

More planning shall give greater possibility of victory while less planning, lesser possibility of victory. So how about those without planning? ~ Sun Tzu

Meticulous planning will enable everything a man does to appear spontaneous. ~ Mark Caine

So what are you planning to do with the rest of your life?
Develop a drinking problem. More Scotch, please. ~ Daniel Silva

The strength of your personal financial resources is equivalent to the quality of your financial decision making. ~ Wayne Chirisa

Strategic planning is worthless - unless there is first a strategic vision. ~ John Naisbitt

Financial markets need to become less, not more, efficient. ~ Ha-Joon Chang

When the financial crisis arrived, it seemed to me that this was something I had to make a movie about. ~ Charles Ferguson

You can always alter and adapt your plan, provided you have one. ~ Manoj Arora

Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage. ~ Zig Ziglar

The Federal Reserve has a responsibility to ensure the safety and soundness of financial institutions and to contain systemic risks in financial markets. ~ Bernie Sanders

I'm a big advocate of financial intelligence. ~ Daymond John

The Death of Money is an engrossing account of the massive stresses accumulating in the global financial system, especially since the 2008 financial crisis. Jim Rickards is a natural teacher. Any serious student of financial crises and their root causes needs to read this book. ~ John H. Makin

Trojan, Durex, Lifestyles, Trojan Magnum (oh yeah, my three foot cock definitely needed those), Contempo, Vivid and Rough Rider. Seriously? There was a condom brand called Rough Rider? Why not just go with Fuck Her Hard and be done with it? I stood in the "Family Planning" aisle of the grocery store, trying to decide which condom brand was more effective. Family Planning ... give me a break. How many people came to this aisle because they were planning a family? They came to this aisle to AVOID planning a family.
Carter ~ Tara Sivec

If you must work for money, find a way to work and be happy. That is financial intelligence. ~ Robert Kiyosaki

If you are reading this then you have wasted another day of your life day dreaming, rather than planning the life God intended you to live. ~ Shannon L. Alder

Managing and navigating through a financial crisis is no fun at all. ~ Howard Schultz

Like it or not, we have to have a financial system that is healthy and functioning. ~ Barack Obama

The global financial crisis - missed by most analysts - shows that most forecasters are poor at pricing in economic/financial risks, let alone geopolitical ones. ~ Nouriel Roubini

Good planning is the foundation of success for almost any project. Start by getting clear on your goal. ~ Jude Bijou

Lack of ethics is so ingrained in the financial industry that they are not even aware of it any more. It's just business as usual for them. ~ Robert Rolih

There will always be businesses and companies, trying to make money from you, but that's not the problem. The real problem is that you're feeding the Beast. You're allowing him to run free and overpower your Angel, and that is reflected in your financial life. It's the reason your paycheck comes and goes, and it makes prosperity impossible. ~ Celso Cukierkorn

I guess we were kinda poor when we were kids, but we didn't know it. That's because my dad always refused to let us look at the family's financial records. ~ Frankie Boyle

Forgive me, I must start by pointing out that three years after our horrific financial crisis caused by financial fraud, not a single financial executive has gone to jail, and that's wrong, ~ Charles Ferguson

Wars have economies. And I don't mean financial economies, although that's often part of it. Why do people continue fighting these wars? There are financial incentives. ~ Elliot Ackerman

The best trust you can ever give to your children is financial literacy ~ Mac Duke The Strategist

Father was planning a debate. Silyen was planning a resurrection. And Gavar was planning a wedding. There was so much wrong with that, Gavar didn't know where to start. ~ Vic James

Before you can really start setting financial goals, you need to determine where you stand financially. ~ David Bach

People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage. ~ Doug Larson

It's money. I remember it from when I was single ~ Billy Crystal

Strategic planning is not strategic thinking. Indeed, strategic planning often spoils strategic thinking, causing managers to confuse real vision with the manipulation of numbers. ~ Henry Mintzberg

Bankruptcy is about financial death and financial rebirth. Bankruptcy is the great American story rewritten. We're a nation of debtors. ~ Elizabeth Warren

Just as the financial crisis has created toxic assets and 'zombie' financial institutions, so has it transformed conservatism into a movement of the living dead. ~ Thomas Frank

People ignore facts which contradict the theory in the mind of the investor. Dis-confirming evidence must be seeked out to beat this theory. ~ Manoj Arora

Architecture is a slow business, and city planning even slower. ~ Richard Rogers

A call for women ... To rise up what it really takes for the reward of financial freedom. ~ Robert Kiyosaki

On balance, the financial system subracts value from society ~ John C. Bogle

When it comes to tackling your financial goals, whatever they might be, there's no time like the present. ~ Suze Orman

Quite frankly, the financial community has to improve its image. The financial community has to be much more transparent than it is. ~ Henry Kravis

This country, of course, needs fundamental reform of our financial regulatory system, as I, and many other financial institution executives, have publicly advocated for a considerable period. ~ Stephen A. Schwarzman

I would say that financial markets are very inefficient, and capable of extremes of being completely dysfunctional. ~ Jeremy Grantham

God's will concerning financial prosperity and abundance is clearly revealed in the Scriptures. ~ Gloria Copeland

Well, as you know, we're working through a difficult period in our financial markets right now as we work off some of the past excesses. But the American people can remain confident in the soundness and the resilience of our financial system. ~ Henry Paulson

Turning Your Financial Dreams into Reality Once you've identified your goals and spending habits, it's time to find out how much work you need to do to turn your financial dreams into reality. This is where the uphill climb begins and your journey can quickly become overwhelming if you don't break down the planning process into manageable steps. An easy way to do this is to compare yourself to a series of financial benchmarks to identify your individual strengths and weaknesses. Comparing yourself to these benchmarks will show you what parts of your financial plan are in good working order and what parts need to be overhauled. Benchmarking allows you to allocate your resources efficiently so you're never sacrificing too much in any single area. See how close you come to meeting the following benchmarks. ~ Matthew Brandeburg

The Statist deflects public scorn for the consequences of his own central planning by blaming the very industry he is sabotaging for supply dislocations and price hikes. ~ Mark Levin

[C]apitalism without financial failure is not capitalism at all, but a kind of socialism for the rich. ~ James Grant

I merely consider myself a father, and one role of a father is to provide financial resources for his family. ~ Guy Kawasaki

God understands more about the financial markets than many who write about them. ~ Jean-Claude Juncker

Some of these biggest financial institutions are out there trading in commodities. They're buying oil tankers. This is not a financial system that has calmed down and is there to serve the American people. ~ Elizabeth Warren

We agreed that our economic and financial teams will remain in close contact as we stay focused on ensuring economic growth and financial stability. ~ Barack Obama

For market discipline to constrain risk effectively, financial institutions must be allowed to fail. Under optimal financial regulatory and financial system infrastructures, such a failure would not threaten the overall system. ~ Henry Paulson

To label family planning and legal abortion programs "genocide" is male rhetoric, for male ears. ~ Shirley Chisholm

Any sensible family has a budget that lays out how much will be spent for household and other purposes. Without such planning, things would quickly go awry. ~ Walter Ulbricht

The one thing that makes me feel super lucky about my financial success is that I have a housekeeper. ~ Gwen Stefani

I never dreamed I would want to be or become a financial advisor. ~ Willie Aames

Any planning that I have in my career is totally accidental really. ~ Christian Bale

I now know how Tojo felt when he was planning Pearl Harbor. ~ Robert Kennedy

Financial support is one thing, but I always think what becomes really sacrificial is your time. ~ Cliff Richard