Doug Larson Famous Quotes
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A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except to be able to grow in rows
One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there's a good chance no one's heard it before.
The real secret of patience is to find something to do in the meantime.
Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.
Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.
A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.
It's your ability to inspire and uplift other people that matters, not your ability to outdo them.
Fancy Restaurant: one that serves cold soup on purpose.
A clean basement, garage and attic are signs of an empty life.
Nostalgia: A device that removes the ruts and potholes from memory lane.
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
Achieving it is not only the chief means of adding to your regular duties.
For every little kid who still believes in Santa Claus, there is at least one adult who still believes in professional wrestling.
A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.
Autumn is a season followed immediately by looking forward to spring.
Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away.
Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept.
The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
The idea that no one is perfect is a view most commonly held by people with no grandchildren.
There's nothing like having grandchildren to restore your faith in humanity.
Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.
Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.
Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.
Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
They should have picked a different city to name after a man who reputedly never told a lie.
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur
The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice.
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend
Wisdom is the reward for a lifetime of listening when you would have preferred to talk.
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!
The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.
Setting a good example for your children does nothing but increase their embarrassment.
Bad news travels fast. Good news takes the scenic route.
The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.
It's a wise person who knows the difference between free speech and cheap talk.
The trouble with class reunions is that old flames have become even older.
Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
A perfect example of the power of prayer is when a blizzard closes the schools on the day of a big exam.
People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage.
The trouble with the last snowfall of the season is that you can't be sure.
A lifetime isn't nearly long enough to figure out what it's all about.
Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.
