Three Stooges Quotes

Three has always been tougher than Two. Think of any of your famous threesomes. The Three Stooges? Look at the anger there. My bet is that before Curly was born, Moe and Larry could play together for hours without even a single poke in the eye. Huey, Dewey, and Louie? Donald Duck never had a moment's peace. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly? I rest my case. ~ Paul Reiser

Moe: [Black Louie is using Larry as a human target for knife-throwing] Be careful you don't hit Larry.
Curly: Where is he?
Moe: Over there.
Curly: I don't see him.
Moe: Take off the glasses.
[Curly takes his glasses off]
Moe: Over there by the wall.
Curly: What wall? ~ The Three Stooges

If at first you don't succeed, keep on succin' till you do succeed. ~ Curly Howard

Amelia nodded her head, "That makes perfect sense."
"No is doesn't," jeered Otto.
"Yes, it does," sighed Amelia. "Don't you ever remember anything important?"
"Of course, I remember how many Star Trek seasons there were and when the Three Stooges were born! ~ Monet Polny

'The Three Stooges' is great. And I was worried, just because there's so many things that have to go right. All three of those guys have to be amazing - everything has to be amazing. And everything went right. ~ Carly Craig

I shoot an arrow into the air, where it lands I do not care: I get my arrows wholesale! ~ Curly Howard

Don't you dare hit me in the head ... you know I'm not normal. ~ Curly Howard

As much as I love Antonioni films, I love the Three Stooges. ~ Joe Carnahan

Why I oughta ... ~ The Three Stooges

Curly: Wait a minute! Y'know I'm temperamental.
Moe: Ya, 95 percent temper,5 percent mental ~ The Three Stooges

Growing up, I missed the whole 'Three Stooges' thing. Either they weren't on the station in my hometown, or we hadn't bought a TV set yet, or they came to town too late for me. I'm pretty sure that at the right age, I would have loved them. ~ Roger Ebert

After doing comedy for a while and knowing how hard it is to do physical comedy right, I learned how incredibly talented the Three Stooges really were after re-watching old episodes. They still stand up! ~ Carly Craig

What are you doing with your face?" Krissi asked, as I made myself a cheese sandwich in the kitchen. Having been away for two nights, I had a sudden, giddying perspective on just how much margarine seemed permanently smeared on our worktops. This whole room was a health risk. "What do you mean?" I asked - increasing the smugness as I sliced the cheese. "Your face - it's clearly telling me to slap it," Krissi said, staring at me. "It's communicating with me on a frequency you can't hear. It's begging me to slap both cheeks at the same time, like the Three Stooges. ~ Caitlin Moran

It is disconcerting to learn that while 73 percent of Americans can name the Three Stooges, only 42 percent can name the three branches of government.6 ~ Parker J. Palmer

Tarantulas have also received a lot of
bad press in the movies. Many movies
and television programs starring such
noted actors as Sean Connery, The
Three Stooges, Harrison Ford, and
William Shatner, have featured tarantulas
as dangerous to humans or menaces to
civilization. The Tarantula That Ate Tokyo
is a long-standing joke among horrormovie buffs. The fact is that these
movies play with the ignorance and fears
passed on for generations by unenlightened people. Nobody would pay to see
the movie The Beagle That Ate Boston
since everybody knows what a beagle
really is. Few know tarantulas as well. ~ Stanley A Schultz

Shoulda, woulda, coulda. They were the Three Stooges of regret. All they were good for was saying whoop-whoop-whoop and smacking each other over the head. ~ Thea Harrison

I grew up a huge fan of The Three Stooges and Monty Python, so somebody getting slapped in the face with a fish, or falling out of a chair, or running into a door, or tripping over their own feet and eating it, is all stuff I find really, really funny. ~ Thomas Sadoski

Well being as there's no other place around the place, I reckon this must be the place, I reckon. ~ Curly Howard

Two different primaries," she continued, striding around the office. "Two different cops, and both of them fucked up the case. What are they using to train them in Chicago
old videos of the Three Boobs?"
"I think that's Stooges," Roarke remarked.
"What?"
He glanced up, focused fully on her, and smiled at the absolute baffled fury on her face. "Stooges, darling. The Three Stooges."
"What's the difference, they're still incompetent knot-heads. ~ J.D. Robb

The Bushwhackers are living proof that the Three Stooges had children ~ Gorilla Monsoon

Judge: Take the stand.
Curly: [picks the chair up] Where'll I put it?
Judge: No, no, take the stand!
Curly: I got it! Now what'll I do with it?
Court clerk: [angrily sets it back down] SIDDOWN! ~ The Three Stooges

Snow stepped forward and slapped Josette, who slapped her back. Emmaline dropped the spoon and slapped them both - she had never slapped her child, or any child, before that moment. It happened so quickly - like a scene choreographed by the Three Stooges, which was what saved it. Emmaline started crying, then Snow. The three of them clung together.

I want to cut off my hand, wept Emmaline. I never slapped you girls before.

We should each cut our hands off, wailed Snow.

Then making frybread two of us will have to stand together, you know, like each use our remaining hand, pat, pat. Josette and Snow demonstrated.

Pat, pat, how pitiful, cry-laughed Emmaline. ~ Louise Erdrich

If you absolutely had to have sex with one of the Three Stooges, who would it be? ~ Douglas Carter Beane

I'm positive about the negative, but a little negative about the positive. ~ Curly Howard

I'm trying to think, but nothing happens! ~ The Three Stooges

Every time you think you weaken the nation. ~ Moe Howard

No, I don't know why Bobby and Peter Farrelly bothered with a 'Three Stooges' movie, either. But if they're anything like some men I know, their love for Moe, Larry, and Curly (and an assortment of fourth bananas) is deep, abiding, and unembarrassable. In other words: How could the Farrellys not? ~ Wesley Morris

I'm like the fucking Three Stooges of espionage. All three of 'em. All rolled into one! ~ Abigail Roux

I can't be a mummy, I'm a daddy! ~ Curly Howard

I'll be the first to admit it - after the first episode, I wasn't sold on Peter Capaldi as the new Doctor of 'Doctor Who,' with the bewildered Clara following behind like a lost puppy, haphazardly flinging aggression around like cream pies in a 'Three Stooges' marathon. ~ Rob Manuel

A perkier bit at the beginning of a Three Stooges comedy, Restless Knights (February 20, 1935), has Brennan playing their father, decked out in a large night cap and a fake white beard, lying on his deathbed calling for his sons. He confesses in tremolo that they are of royal blood: "Years ago I was the royal chamberlain of the Kingdom of Anesthesia." Now, he urges them to offer their swords in service of their imperiled queen. The quality of the writing is best exemplified in Brennan's telling Curly that his title is "Baron of Grey Matter." Brennan then says, "Come close my sons so that I may bless you," and rises enough to give them a sweeping triple slap, as the light fades on his 120-second part in this sixteen minute short. ~ Carl Rollyson

What else don't women like besides the Three Stooges? Tom Waits. Being hurt physically or emotionally. ~ Julie Klausner

I've got to say, I've probably seen a lot more of the Three Stooges than of the Marx Brothers. ~ Spike Jonze

I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long. ~ Paula Poundstone

Now the piano makes a long, familiar run, the pianist playing different scales with each hand
what sounds like three hands, four
the harmonies like steadily thickening peals on a strand, and Werner sees six-year-old Jutta lean toward him, Frau Elena kneading bread in the background, a crystal radio in his lap, the cords of his soul not yet severed. ~ Anthony Doerr

I'd had a French education for three years, my father being in the army. From 9 to 12, I went to French school. I've been sort of part of the culture, part of the geography, since I was quite young - the imprint was there. ~ Charlotte Rampling

It takes about three times as long to explain to someone why you won't give them an autograph as it does to actually give them an autograph. ~ John Madden

Then about 12 years ago it dawned on me that folk music - the music of Woody Guthrie and Phil Ochs, early Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, Pete Seeger - could be as heavy as anything that comes through a Marshall stack. The combination of three chords and the right lyrical couplet can be as heavy as anything in the Metallica catalogue. ~ Tom Morello

Men's rights activists tend to make a series of valid observations from which they proceed to a single, 180-degree-wrong conclusion. They are correct to point out that, worldwide, suicide is the most common form of death for men under fifty. It's also true that men are more likely than women to have serious problems with alcohol, that men die younger, that the prison population is 95 per cent male and that the lack of support for our returning frontline soldiers is a national disgrace. So far, so regrettably true.

They are incorrect, however, to lay any of this at the door of 'feminism', a term which they use almost interchangeably with 'women'. [...]

No, sir. No, lads. No, Daddy. That won't help us and it won't help anyone else. Men in trouble are often in trouble precisely because they are trying to Get a Grip and Act Like a Man. We are at risk of suicide because the alternative is to ask for help, something we have been repeatedly told is unmanly. We are in prison because the traditional breadwinning expectation of manhood can't be met, or the pressure to conform is too great, or the option of violence has been frowned upon but implicitly sanctioned since we were children. [...]

We die younger than women because, for one thing, we don't go to the doctor. We don't take ourselves too seriously. We don't want to be thought self-indulgent. The mark of a real man is being able to tolerate a chest infection for three months before laying off the ~ Robert Webb

Three things to help keep your brain cells awake and alert ... drink plenty of clean water, get plenty of deep sleep, and let your imagination soar to places it's never dared venture. ~ Toni Sorenson

Eric Boocock had been England's No.1 for a spell in the late 60s and early 70s. He reached three world finals and in 1974 put the town on the map by winning the British Championship in front of a 10,000 crowd and ITV's World of Sport cameras. Everybody ~ Tony McDonald

And we were in our thirties. Well into the Age of Boredom, when nothing is new. Now, I'm not being self-pitying; it's simply true. Newness, or whatever you want to call it, becomes a very scarce commodity after thirty. I think that's unfair. If I were in charge of the human life span, I'd make sure to budget newness much more selectively, to ration it out. As it is now, it's almost used up in the first three years of life. By then you've seen for the first time, tasted for the first time, held something for the first time. Learned to walk, talk, go to the bathroom. What have you got to look forward to that can compare with that? Sure, there's school. Making friends. Falling in love. Learning to drive. Sex. Learning to trade. That has to carry you for the next twenty-five years. But after that? What's the new excitement? Mastering your home computer? Figuring out how to work CompuServe? "Now, if it were up to me, I'd parcel out. So that, say, at thirty-five we just learned how to go on the potty. Imagine the feeling of accomplishment! They'd have office parties. "Did you hear? The vice president in charge of overseas development just went a whole week without his diaper. We're buying him a gift." It'd be beautiful. ~ Phoef Sutton

I won't do something unless I can get at least two or three good laughs out of it. If I can't, it's not gonna make the team. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

She looked away and mumbled something.

"I'm sorry I don't speak mumble," he said while eying the piping hot apple muffin with streusel topping that she just took out of the bag. Hell, how had he missed that delicious little morsel?

His hand seemed to have a life of its own as it crept towards that tasty little treat. With a gasp, Haley's hands came down to protect her muffin.

"Control yourself!" she hissed as she broke off a small chunk and ate it. His eyes went back to the muffin. He knew he was pouting when Haley rolled her eyes and continued to eat. Damn it, where was the love? He was a hungry man. With a sigh, he opened his bag and pulled out one of the three coffee rolls he'd ordered and began eating them all while keeping his eyes on that muffin. ~ R.L. Mathewson

His rapier was at his belt, glittering as he swung. He reached down, ripped the sword clear.
I jumped over a slashing frond of plasm, spun round with the water bottle in my hand. I hurled it across to Lockwood.
George threw his rapier to me.
Watch this now. Sword and bottle, sailing through the air, twin trajectories, arching beautifully through the mass of swirling tendrils towards Lockwood and me. Lockwood held out his hand. I held out mine.
Remember I said there was that moment of sweet precision when we gelled perfectly as a team?
Yeah, well. This wasn't it.
The rapier shot past, missing me by miles. It skidded halfway across the floor. The bottle struck Lockwood plumb in the centre of his forehead, knocking him through the window.
There was a moment's pause.
'Is he dead?' the skulls voice said 'Yay! Oh. No, he's hanging onto the shutters. Shame. Still, this is defiantly the funniest thing I've ever seen. You three really are incompetence on a stick ~ Jonathan Stroud

I have saved $1,638,580 over my four years. That may not seem like a lot, faced with our deficit, but multiply it by 435 members of the House - and then the senators get three times as much - and you are adding up several millions in savings. ~ Dan Webster

When we signed our deal in 1974, we'd already been together for six years. When they lowered the drinking age in Ontario in 1971 to 18 years, we went from playing two or three high schools in a month to playing clubs two or three times a week. ~ Alex Lifeson

I have three adopted children with Phil, and for years I was fighting in court with him over being able to see my kids. I was always going back and forth to California, going to court, and I was never able to get a project going. ~ Ronnie Spector

The three inventions that made the Renaissance possible, the compass, gunpowder, and the printing press, came from China. The Babylonians scooped Pythagoras by fifteen hundred years. Long before anyone else, the Indians knew the world was round, and had calculated its age. And better than anyone else, the Mayans knew the stars, eyes of the night, and the mysteries of time.
Such details were not worthy of Europe's attention. ~ Eduardo Galeano

I made myself a glass of chocolate milk using enough syrup for three normal glasses. I also made myself four peanut butter crackers. Then I walked out the living room door to our terrace. The trees were coming! New green was all over ... green so new that it was kissing yellow. ~ E.L. Konigsburg

I'm cracking a safe, Lil, not boiling an egg. I can't just do it in three minutes flat!' - Sophie ~ Katherine Woodfine

One in three women may suffer from abuse and violence in her lifetime. This is an appalling human rights violation, yet it remains one of the invisible and under-recognized pandemics of our time. ~ Nicole Kidman

In the space of three weeks, I met a fair bunch of the guys who were just starting those little programmers' co-ops, and everybody was talking about starting businesses. ~ Esther Dyson

The Free People brand plans to drive growth on three different fronts: product expansion, geographic expansion and improved marketing. ~ Richard Hayne

The oldest of the three Abrahamic religions, and the clear ancestor of the other two, is Judaism: originally a tribal cult of a single fiercely unpleasant God, morbidly obsessed with sexual restrictions, with the smell of charred flesh, with his own superiority over rival gods and with the exclusiveness of his chosen desert tribe. During the Roman occupation of Palestine, Christianity was founded by Paul of Tarsus as a less ruthlessly monotheistic sect of Judaism and a less exclusive one, which looked outwards from the Jews to the rest of the world. Several centuries later, Muhammad and his followers reverted to the uncompromising monotheism of the Jewish original, but not its exclusiveness, and founded Islam upon a new holy book, the Koran or Qur'an, adding a powerful ideology of military conquest to spread the faith. ~ Richard Dawkins

It's always good to go from a heavy song to a softer one. It helps having the attention of the audience for the whole show - three hours of the same songs for the whole show is boring. ~ Neige

Ambrose remembered. Fern had looked pretty–on the verge of beautiful–and it had confused him. He hadn't asked her to dance. He'd refused to ask her to dance. He'd even walked away from Bailey when Bailey had made the request.
"I hurt you, didn't I Fern?"
Fern shrugged her slim shoulders and smiled, but the smile was wobbly and her eyes had grown bright. Still, after more than three years, it was easy to see the memory pained her.
"I hurt you," he repeated, remorse and realization coloring his voice with regret.
Fern reached out and touched his scarred cheek. "You just didn't see me, that's all,"
"I was so blind then." He fingered a curl that coiled against her brow.
"Actually . . . you're kind of blind now," Fern teased quietly, seeking to ease his guilt with jest. "Maybe that's why you like me. ~ Amy Harmon

Once a week i have to do my radio show, 'A State of Trance', usually on Wednesday night. I try to go running at least three times a week and spend at least a day without turning my laptop on and spend it with my wife and daughter. ~ Armin Van Buuren

Infatuation lasts anywhere from six months to three years, and you can't know you've found the right person until you've worked your way through it. You quit ~ Jennifer Crusie

And it occurred to me, standing there, just breathing with her, quiet settling around us, that those might be the three most beautiful words in the English language. We have time. ~ Ransom Riggs

By extension, anyone who liked smelling the daisies, and having daisies to smell, and eating mercury-free fish, and who objected to giving birth to three-eyed infants via the toxic sludge in their drinking water was a demon-possessed Satanic minion of darkness, hell-bent on sabotaging the American Way and God's Holy Oil, which were one and the same. ~ Margaret Atwood

I've been deeply concerned that to date no individuals have been convicted for the brutal killing of three United States citizens, the Bytyqi brothers: Agron, Ylli, and Mehmet ... It's a long time ago, we want to move on, but eleven years after the discovery of their bodies no one has been held accountable for their killing and the chief suspects in the chain of command, including the camp commander, have never been charged. ~ Eliot Engel

Our perception of celebrities in Hollywood is not the reality. The reality of our lives is so much like everyone else's life. We have family members we love, everyone gets up in the morning, they have three meals a day and they go about their business. ~ Sissy Spacek

Another One'

When you're a child you learn there are three dimensions
Height, width and depth
Like a shoebox
Then later you hear there's a fourth dimension
Time
Hmm
Then some say there can be five, six, seven…

I knock off work
Have a beer at the bar
I look down at the glass and feel glad.



'Poem'

I'm in the house
It's nice out
Warm
Sun on cold snow
First day of spring
Or last day of winter

My legs run up the stairs
And out the door
My top half here writing. ~ Ron Padgett

Did you get Wylan's powders?"
"What was left of them," said Jesper. He emptied his pockets, revealing three packets. Matthias chose one at random.
"Can you manipulate those powders?"
Jesper shifted uneasily. "Yes. I guess. I did something similar at the Ice Court. Why?"
Why. Why. In the drüskelle he would have been brigged for insubordination. ~ Leigh Bardugo

I have a very beautiful room that in my house that we bought in Princeton. It's glass on three sides, and you'd think that's the perfect place to write. Somehow in that nice room I feel too exposed, and I can notice I'm too distracted by things going on, so I end up writing in a not-very-nice office bedroom. ~ Jeffrey Eugenides

It may be glorious to write Thoughts that shall glad the two or three High souls, like those far stars that come in sight Once in a century. ~ James Russell Lowell