Douglas Carter Beane Quotes

If you absolutely had to have sex with one of the Three Stooges, who would it be?

I have very important phone messages that will be playing Broadway. An evening of my tweets I think is going to be booked into the Golden Theatre.

My favorite moments are the moments everyone cries over. I see people in the audience crying, and I go, 'I did that, too. I don't just do the jokes. I also do the cries.' Jokes and cries, jokes and cries. That's all I'm here for, people.

In the '20s and '30s, there were these musicals either set on college campuses or based on classical stories, so any of the Rodgers and Hart musicals certainly influenced me. I was definitely influenced by any of the 'Porgy' songs; I was influenced by 'American Pie.'

I went into Xanadu going, 'I really dislike this movie - let me try to make it something wonderful,' but with 'The Band Wagon,' I really revere this movie. It's really a beautiful movie musical. And, yet, because I'm a writer and look at it that way, I see that there are faults in it.

I've gone from a kid who was sneaking out of my childhood house and lying to my parents to do shows in a community theatre in Reading, PA, to now having two shows on Broadway opening within two months of each other. That's sort of crazy, that trajectory.

I try to create some stupid entertainment for really smart people that they don't feel too stupid watching. In 'Xanadu,' the biggest laugh was a reference to Achilles.

I've seen nearly every Encores! show. I love the second acts so much because you just see desperation and inspiration in equal measure.

If you're raised Methodist, Catholicism is a bit of a workout. It's sort of like you're up, you're down, you're up, you're down. It's a continual hokey-pokey.

When people say 'Lysistrata' has always been seen as an anti-war play, what's interesting is to not make it an anti-war play, because I actually think there are important times to go to war in this world. That's just the reality. But what's interesting is the not caring.

I inherited the old family turkey farm, and I'm turning it into a fun place to go for my kids.

I think it's a very ephemeral thing, what makes a show a success.

When you do a film, when you do a television show, eventually someone comes along and will say to you, 'Don't say that because, one, you will offend someone, or, two, no one will get that. Someone's going to be confused by that, not get the reference and feel abandoned, and then they will get angry at the entertainment.'