Stroud Quotes

Helga Sigrid was born in Reykjavik, Iceland, and still had an accent right out of Wagner. She was almost as tall as he was, and as Nordic as it was possible to get without disappearing altogether whenever the sun came out. ~ Carsten Stroud

There was a profound silence, abruptly broken by an enormously loud rumble from George's stomach. Plaster didn't actually fall from the ceiling, but it was close. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Well,' Lockwood said, "if you judge success by the number of enemies you make, that was a highly successful evening. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Getting that first draft out is a horribly hard grind, but that (perversely) is where the joy of it lies. ~ Jonathan Stroud

When I think about my ideal free day, it usually involves going into London and sitting in a nice coffeehouse with cake and coffee, but I would probably still have my notebook in my pocket. ~ Jonathan Stroud

This is what the Problem means," he went on. "This is the effect it has. Lives lost, loved ones taken before their time. And then we hide our dead behind iron walls and leave them to the thorns and ivy. We lose them twice over, Lucy. Death's not the worst of it. We turn our faces away. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Because you're unique . You shine like a beacon, attracting the attention of all dark things." It chuckled. "Why do you think I'm chatting with you? ~ Jonathan Stroud

His name was Mr. Quan and he was the concierge, which explained the black suit and the lavender shirt but not the oversized bow tie in chrome-yellow silk. Perhaps nothing could. ~ Carsten Stroud

I was having dark thoughts about waffles. ~ Jonathan Stroud

At last! Am I glad to see you! Right, stab this guy quickly, and let's be going. ~ Jonathan Stroud

I wanted to wake you straightaway, but I knew I had to wait several hours to ensure you were safely recovered."
"What! How long has it been?"
"Five minutes. I got bored. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Well, I make that one murder victim, one police interrogation and one conversation with a ghost," George said. "Now that's what I call a busy evening."
Lockwood nodded. "To think some people just watch television. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Okay ... ' I hurried on. 'But why me?'
'You're a girl,' Lockwood called. 'Aren't you supposed to be more sensitive?'
'To emotions, yes. To nuances of human behavior. Not necessarily to secret passages in a wall.'
'Oh, it's much the same thing. ~ Jonathan Stroud

So special is God's love that love does not love those who are worthy of it but rather those who have special need of it. ~ Dean G. Stroud

She gets away from you, I am. She's as big as a lynx. Look at ~ Carsten Stroud

Let's have the baddish one first,' George said. 'I prefer my misery to come at me in stages, so I can acclimatize on the way. ~ Jonathan Stroud

In recent weeks it has come to my attention that many caravans have met with disaster; they have not gotten through."
I grunted wisely. "Probably ran out of water. That's the thing about deserts. Dry."
"Indeed. A fascinating analysis. But survivors reaching Hebron report differently: monsters fell upon them in the wastes."
"What, fell upon them in a squashed-them kind of way?"
"More the leaped-out-and-slew-them kind. ( ... ) ~ Jonathan Stroud

Strange how close the darkness is, even when things seem brightest. Even in the glare of a summer noon, when the sidewalk bakes and iron fences are hot to the touch, the shadows are still with us. They congregate in doorways and porches, and under bridges, and beneath the brims of gentlemen's hats so you cannot see their eyes. There is darkness in our mouths and ears; in our bags and wallets; within the swing of men's jackets and beneath the flare of women's skirts. We carry it around with us, the dark, and its influence stains us deep. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Much has happened since last we met, Bartimaeus," he went on. "Do you remember how we parted?"
"No." I did.
"You set light to me, old friend. Struck a match and left me burning in a copse."
The crow shifted uneasily beneath the cleaver."That's a gesture of endearment in some cultures. Some hug, some kiss, some set each other on fire in small patches of woodland ... ~ Jonathan Stroud

Hey, it was his first time. I wanted to scare him ~ Jonathan Stroud

Always tell yourself that you are as good as anyone that breathes; that you have two hands and a brain, and a little time in which to use them. But they are enough, and no one has any more. And if you train and force them to serve you well, you can reach any height to which you aspire. But to waste any of them is to betray yourself. ~ Robert M. Stroud

It was Nathaniel's boundless capacity for stating the obvious that made him so charmingly human. ~ Jonathan Stroud

He could feel himself gliding down like the sail of a weightless craft, forever plunging into the great beyond below where mermaids sing and summon their lovers home, further down into the depths of some complacent serenity, further down where thoughts float away and never return and the lightness is so grand that there is no other worldly place imaginable, for there is no world left to be
considered. There is only the soul, free from the prison of the body, and it is released to travel
another millennium through time, carrying with it the progress and industry gathered from the
mind previously occupied. ~ Matthew Chase Stroud

Nothing could keep me from you. Nothing in life or Death... ~ Jonathan Stroud

It was a time of beginnings and a time of endings. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Do you trust me?' the skull said.
...
'Yes,' I said. 'Sort of.'
'Then break the bloody glass. ~ Jonathan Stroud

The door closed; almost imperceptably, the lift began to rise.
'Going up,' the skull said. 'Next floor: cutlery, condiments and underpants. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Not bad in short, though the last one [understanding the language of animals], isn't half as useful as you might expect, since when all's said and done the language of the beasts tends to revolve around: a) the endless hunt for food, b) finding a warm bush to sleep in the evening, and c) the sporadic satisfication of certain glands. (Many would argue that the language of human kind boils down to this too) ~ Jonathan Stroud

Has anyone got any bandages? I've just split my sides laughing. ~ Jonathan Stroud

I was born on the first day of January 1941 in the front bedroom of my grandparents' house in Rodborough near Stroud in Gloucestershire where my mother had come to escape the bombing in London. ~ Martin Evans

The Amulet of Samarkand. It was Simon Lovelace's. Now it is yours. Soon it will be Simon Lovelace's again. Take it and enjoy the consequences. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Hippo in a skirt: this was a comic reference to one of Solomon's principal wives, the one from Moab. Childish? Yes. But in the days before printing we had limited opportunities for satire. ~ Jonathan Stroud

She's her?' - Lucy
'Exactly. Penelope Fittes is Marissa Fittes. They're one and the same person.' - The Skull ~ Jonathan Stroud

I - though forced through lack of space to assume the form of a stoic guinea pig crouched between the girl's shoe and the glove compartment - was my usual dignified self. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Me, I was still in the pygmy hippo in a skirt, singing lusty songs about Solomon's private life and a giant stone back and forth through the air as I climbed out of the quarry at the edge of the site. ~ Jonathan Stroud

In my youth, I was always one for the dramatic entrance. Now, in keeping with my character, I gravitate more toward the subtle and refined. Okay, with the occasional feathered serpent thrown in. ~ Jonathan Stroud

The Term "a Criminal Lawyer" Is the Opposite of an Oxymoron ~ Carsten Stroud

I rather think he knew anyway. ~ Jonathan Stroud

I like using traditional beliefs in my fantasies, even though I always end up warping them to suit my purpose: it somehow makes everything feel more 'solid' if it's got a long history behind it. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Those statues were exquisitely carved, without exception; that was what the Egyptians were really good at, along with organized religion and civil engineering. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Mr Lockwood, you've impressed a lot of people over the years. Personally, I expected you to be ghost-touched long ago, but your agency has flourished. Impress me again now... Let them forget about you... Even now, it's probably not too late. - Inspector Barnes ~ Jonathan Stroud

John Mandrake was an attractive young man, and the scent of power hung about him, sweet and intoxicating, like honeysuckle in the evening air. ~ Jonathan Stroud

He turned to face her, his body tingling. She gave a little shudder.
"Did you feel that too?" she asked.
"Yes," he said softly, "but don't talk."
She pushed him away. "It was our sensor webs, you fool. Something's triggered them. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Ah, you coward! Look at you, running." "Actually, it's called improvising. ~ Jonathan Stroud

If anyone else asked that question, O He Who Is Terrible and Great, I would have said they were an ignorant fool; in you it is a sign of the disarming simplicity which is the fount of all virtue. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Back at the scene of the rollover they had brought in the dogs, who got one snootful of all the guts and gore scattered all over the place and, after a whispered conference, expressed their regrets and respectfully declined to participate. ~ Carsten Stroud

God made the universe out of nothing, and if you look real close, you can tell. ~ Carsten Stroud

And then, as if written by the hand of a bad novelist, an incredible thing happened. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Really?"
"No. I'm being ironic. Or is it sarcastic? I can never remember."
"Irony's cleverer, so you're probably being sarcastic. ~ Jonathan Stroud

The bristling eyebrows shot up in mock surprise. Mesmerized, the boy watched them disappear under the hanging thatch of white hair. There, almost coyly, they remained just out of sight for a moment, before suddenly descending with a terrible finality and weight. ~ Jonathan Stroud

So I departed, leaving behind a pungent smell of brimstone. Just something to remember me by. ~ Jonathan Stroud

That didn't last long, of course. "Oh Bartimaeus, could you just irrigate the Fertile Cresent?""Could you just divert the Euphrates HERE and HERE?""Look, while you're at it, do you mind just planting a few million wheat seeds up and down the flood plain? Thanks." Didn't even give me a dibble. By the time I got to Ur I wasn't surging with any of that terrible joy, oh no. My back was KILLING me. ~ Jonathan Stroud

I turned and held the blade above us all as an ineffective shield.
The bloodstain on the ceiling now spread almost wall to wall; in our corner, a single triangle of clean space remained. Elsewhere torrents of blood fell in curtains, roaring, driving, gusting like rain waves in a thunderstorm. The floor was awash. It pooled between the floorboards and lashed up against the wainscoting. The chandelier dripped with it: the crystals shone red. Now I knew why the chamber was without furniture of any kind, why it had been deserted for so many years. Now I knew why it had the name it did. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Making tea is a ritual that stops the world from falling in on you. ~ Jonathan Stroud

A dozen more questions occurred to me. Not to mention twenty-two possible solutions to each one, sixteen resulting hypotheses and counter-theorems, eight abstract speculations, a quadrilateral equation, two axioms, and a limerick. That's raw intelligence for you. ~ Jonathan Stroud

When we exhale, a tree breathes in. ~ Les Stroud

Hey, we've all got problems, chum. I'm overly talkative. You look like a field of buttercups in a suit. ~ Jonathan Stroud

When I set out from the boy's attic window, my head was so full of competing plans and complex stratagems that I didn't look where I was going and flew straight into a chimney.
Something symbolic in that. It's what fake freedom does for you. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Oh, we'll suffer in silence. You've given us plenty of practice at that. ~ Jonathan Stroud

If we think only of the great needs, then we are less likely to notice the individual small needs requiring our help. And all the great needs grow really out of little ones, or better, from the fact that in our blindness we in the beginning failed to see the little needs. ~ Dean G. Stroud

It's a curious thing with George. With his glasses off, his eyes looked small and weak - blinky and a bit baffled, like an unintelligent sheep that's taken a wrong turn. But when he put them on again, they went all sharp and steely, more like the eyes of an eagle that eats dumb sheep for breakfast. ~ Jonathan Stroud

His rapier was at his belt, glittering as he swung. He reached down, ripped the sword clear.
I jumped over a slashing frond of plasm, spun round with the water bottle in my hand. I hurled it across to Lockwood.
George threw his rapier to me.
Watch this now. Sword and bottle, sailing through the air, twin trajectories, arching beautifully through the mass of swirling tendrils towards Lockwood and me. Lockwood held out his hand. I held out mine.
Remember I said there was that moment of sweet precision when we gelled perfectly as a team?
Yeah, well. This wasn't it.
The rapier shot past, missing me by miles. It skidded halfway across the floor. The bottle struck Lockwood plumb in the centre of his forehead, knocking him through the window.
There was a moment's pause.
'Is he dead?' the skulls voice said 'Yay! Oh. No, he's hanging onto the shutters. Shame. Still, this is defiantly the funniest thing I've ever seen. You three really are incompetence on a stick ~ Jonathan Stroud

Riding high and above the waves on extemporaneous notions of an afterlife, Michael brought one foot forward and let it dangle over the roof's edge. He knew that he did not have much time before the other would follow. Some patients below could see the figure atop the building from
the courtyard. They started to rile with anticipation, their irate murmurings incomprehensible. A
groundskeeper looked up to see what justified the commotion. Michael could hear the shouts
from below. He almost toppled when the wind picked up again, but recovered and kept one foot
dangling with the other anchored to the roof. The hoots came louder now, almost calling him
toward them like sirens guiding ships in the night. From below it was impossible to make out the
face of the balancing figurine now poised in suspended descent. Another gust came. He closed
his eyes, felt the levity manifesting, and felt the complete freedom inside. He could feel himself
gliding down like the sail of a weightless craft, forever plunging into the great beyond, below
where mermaids sing and summon their lovers home, further down into the depths of some
complacent serenity, further down where thoughts float away and never return and the lightness
is so grand that there is no other worldly place imaginable, for there is no world left to be
considered. There is only the soul, free from the prison of the body, and it is released to travel
another millennium ~ Matthew Chase Stroud

Bartimaeus: "A small piece of advice," I said "it isn't wise to be rude to someone bigger than you, especially when they've just trapped you under a boulder."
Imp: "You can stick your advice up ... "
"This brief pause replaces a short, censored episode, characterized by bad language and some sadly necessary violence. When we pick up the story again, everything is as before, except that I am perspiring slightly and the contrite imp is the model of cooperation."
Bartimaeus: "I'll ask again: who is Rupert Deveraeux?"
Imp: "He's the British Prime Minister, oh Most Bounteous and Merciful one. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Did Lovelace's forces find you? Did Jabor break in?"
He spoke slowly through clenched teeth. "I went to get a newspaper"
This is getting better and better! I shook my head regretfully. "You should leave such a dangerous assignment to people better qualified: next time ask an old granny, or a toddler- ~ Jonathan Stroud

Their first stop, naturally, was the library, and here, by whirling flashlight beam, Fairfax's body was located. He lay facedown on the rug in the center of the room, with his eyes wide open and his arms outstretched as if in supplication. The medics had the adrenaline needles ready, but they didn't try to use them. It was already much too late. Fairfax had suffered first-degree ghost-touch, and it had left him swollen, blue, and dead. Immediate readings were carried out in the vicinity of the locket and all around the room, but everything came up negative. The spirit of Annie Ward - having been reunited with her killer - was nowhere to be found. ~ Jonathan Stroud

cannon used. The night of the grand festivity ~ Jonathan Stroud

But Holly the gun-toting, wild-haired madwoman of the night before was in there somewhere, I knew. It made me look upon her with fond affection. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Her clarity gave her purpose and her purpose gave her clarity. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Lockwood gave a sudden exclamation; when I looked at him, his eyes were shining. 'On second thoughts, we can scrap my last suggestion,' he said. 'Stuff the mingling. Who wants to do that? Boring. George - this library. Where is it? ~ Jonathan Stroud

You're not our leader,' Dave said.
'No, but I know what I'm doing, which is a nice alternative.' - Lucy ~ Jonathan Stroud

There - the chandelier, choked with dust and webs. A single rivulet of red had trickled from the ceiling, down the central column, and out along a curving crystal arm. At its lowest point, a new pendant of blood was slowly building.
'It - it can't do that,' I stammered. 'We're inside the iron.'
'Move out of the way!' Lockwood pushed me back just as the drop fell, spattering on the floor in the center of the circle. We were all standing almost atop the iron chains. 'We've made it too big,' he said. 'The power of the iron doesn't extend into the very center. It's weak there, and this Visitor's strong enough to overcome it.'
'Adjust the chains inward-' George began.
'If we make the circle smaller,' Lockwood said, 'we'll be squeezed in a tiny space. It's scarcely midnight; we've seven hours till dawn and this thing's just gotten started. No, we've got to break out ~ Jonathan Stroud

Probing psychological analysis is one thing: namely impartial observation, liberally spiced with sarcasm and personal abuse - let's face it, I'm good at all that - constructive suggestions, quite another. ~ Jonathan Stroud

The object that was pinning me haplessly to the ground, like a butterfly on a collector's tray, was of twentieth-century origin and of very specific function.
Oh, all right, it was a public lavatory. ~ Jonathan Stroud

At Lockwood & Co., George was famous for not being able to throw or catch with any accuracy. Back in the kitchen at Portland Row, even the casual passing out of fruit or bags of chips became an exercise fraught with danger. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Strong characters of their sort tend to gravitate together. Pride has a part to play in it, and other emotions too. Neither wishes to fail; each redoubles their effort to impress. Things get done - but not always the right things or not always the things expected. and there's not much you can do to stop it. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Woman, man, mole, maggot – they're all the same, when all's said and done, except for slight variations in cognitive ability. ~ Jonathan Stroud

The skull's…spirit? He…he looks different."
The youth scowled. "Yeah? You look just the same. I was banking on frostbite taking a few of your fingers, or even your nose. Here's hoping something else has dropped off that I don't know about. If not, I'll be sorely disappointed."
Lockwood stared. "Does he always talk like this?"
"No. Usually he's worse. See what I have to put up with? ~ Jonathan Stroud

Someone at Portland Row really missed you, you know... Me. - Holly ~ Jonathan Stroud

I'ts how I want to remember him, the way he was that night: with horrors up ahead and horrors at our back, and Lockwood standing in between them, calm and unafraid. ~ Jonathan Stroud

So stop worrying about the past. The past is for ghosts. We've all done things that we regret. It's what's ahead of us that counts. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Despite his crimped shirts and flowing mane (or perhaps because of them) I had seen no evidence as yet that Nathaniel even knew what a girl was. If he'd ever met one, chances are they'd both have run screaming in opposite directions. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Listen, a goad's anything that provokes or incites an enemy
let me have a go: cursed deamon! you have met your end! the shivering fire awaits you! i shall spread your vile essance across this hall like ... um, like margarine, a very think layer of it ...
ye-es ... im not sure he'll pick up on that analogy. never mind, keep going. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Time snapped back into one piece. I was wholly in the present, alert and questioning. ~ Jonathan Stroud

His face was uniquely slapable - a nun would have ached to punch him - while his backside cried out to heaven for a well-placed kick. ~ Jonathan Stroud

In the meantime," he said, "There are ghosts to foil and lives to save. But right now, it's a lovely evening and I'm going for a stroll. That was the other thing I'd wanted, to see if you'll come with me? ~ Jonathan Stroud

Klemperer's insight that Nazi speech dealt in superlatives. Hence, Hitler was the "smartest" leader of the "bravest" people of the "purest" blood, and Germany was the "greatest country" and "most glorious" of nations in the most "heroic" of wars and struggles against the "worst" of enemies in the "most dangerous" of times. ~ Dean G. Stroud

although Hitler peppered speeches with references to God, neither he nor Nazism had a single thing in common with traditional Christianity. Nazi religion was pagan, containing a pagan savior and creed. The creed knew nothing of sin, and its faith glorified violence. Nazism had no meekness or humility, no love of neighbor, and no thought of forgiveness. ~ Dean G. Stroud

Well, when you're being held at gunpoint by a geriatric madman in a metal skirt, you've kind of hit rock bottom anyway. It can't really get much worse. ~ Jonathan Stroud

It was one of those moments when a great Don't Care wave hits you, and you float off on it, head back, looking at the sky. ~ Jonathan Stroud

We trespassed in the city of the dead, and all our skills and talents counted for nothing. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Ignoring the whispers of the skull, which kept suggesting different, unlikely kitchen utensils that could be used for murder, I sketched out a map of the room. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Dark Specter** - A frightening variety of Type Two ghost that manifests as a moving patch of darkness. Sometimes the apparition at the center of the darkness is dimly visible; at other times the black cloud is fluid and formless, perhaps shrinking to the size of a pulsing heart, or expanding at speed to engulf a room. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Zealots: Wild eyed persons afflicted with incurable certainty about the workings of the world, a certainty that can lead to violence when the world doesn't fit. ~ Jonathan Stroud

When you go out hunting wicked spirits, it's the simple things that matter most. The silvered point of your rapier flashing in the dark; the iron filings scattered on the floor; the sealed canisters of best Greek Fire, ready as a last resort ...
But tea bags, brown and fresh and plenty of them, and made (for preference) by Pitkin Brothers of Bond Street, are perhaps the simplest and best of all.
OK, they may not save your life like a sword-tip or an iron circle can, and they haven't the protective power of a sudden wall of fire. But they do provide something just as vital. They help keep you sane. ~ Jonathan Stroud

Besides, if you're going to die horribly, you might as well do it with style. ~ Jonathan Stroud

A thousand feet above the crash site the flock of crows re-formed, drew into a tight cloud that took on the shape of a scythe as it flew low across the town, wheeling and soaring, filling the cool clear air with their brassy cries, and then it rose up in one coherent mass and disappeared into the east in the direction of Tallulah's Wall. ~ Carsten Stroud

If she'd repeatedly fallen over while crossing soft ground, you could have sewn a crop of beans in the chin-holes she left behind. ~ Jonathan Stroud

I'm sorry, Miraculous One, it's difficult to think of new titles for you when you ask short questions. ~ Jonathan Stroud

This is an interview, not a boxing match. ~ Jonathan Stroud