Robin Williams Quotes

Honey, you [Michael Jackson] gotta pick a race first. All of a sudden you're a black man, then you're Diana Ross, now you're Audrey Hepburn. Then he's got the little beard going on. He's like Lord of the Rings, the entire cast. Michael's about to jump species. ~ Robin Williams

In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say 'Stop, or I'll say stop again.' ~ Robin Williams

Incoming is not the thing you want to hear at Christmas. ~ Robin Williams

When I used to watch vaudevillian impressionists, people like Rich Little or Frank Gorshin, I always felt like the voice was the only point. I didn't want to do that. I wanted to be of the Robin Williams or Jonathan Winters model, where observation and storytelling was important. ~ Frank Caliendo

Mr. Keating: Carpe Diem! Sieze the day! ~ Robin Williams

Don't mess with me, man, I'm a lawyer! ~ Robin Williams

There was an old, crazy dude who used to live a long time ago. His name was Lord Buckley. And he said, a long time ago, he said, 'People
they'r e kinda like flowers, and it's been a privilege walking in your garden.' My love goes with you. ~ Robin Williams

I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone. ~ Robin Williams

Robin Williams learned technique. He has the technique of being funny. ~ Paul Mooney

Cricket is baseball on Valium. ~ Robin Williams

If Heaven exists, to know that there's laughter, that would be a great thing. ~ Robin Williams

The vagaries of the industry and show business itself would not lead one to conclude a lengthy career - because things change. Popularities come and go. The tragedy of it is that somebody like Robin Williams should suffer from that, and be driven to commit suicide. If ever there was an untimely, unfair death, it was him. ~ Chris Stein

When you create you get a little endorphin rush. Why do you think Einstein looked like that? ~ Robin Williams

The little idiosyncrasies that only I know about: that's what made her my wife. Oh she had the goods on me too, she knew all my little peccadilloes. People call these things imperfections, but they're not. Ah, that's the good stuff! ~ Robin Williams

I had my back waxed once by two women ... and at one point they said, Do you mind if we take a break? ~ Robin Williams

I loved running, but all of a sudden everything hurt so much. I started cycling when Zelda was born. ~ Robin Williams

Seize the day. Because, believe it or not, each and every one of us in this room is one day going to stop breathing, turn cold, and die. ~ Robin Williams

Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money. ~ Robin Williams

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work! ~ Robin Williams

In truth I never really liked any of the heavy drugs, because normally my energy is up when I'm performing, and that's about it. Cocaine is nothing new. It's the pressure, I think. People use it to relieve that, and for me it is about getting numb and forgetting. I have a reverse metabolic reaction to the stuff. ~ Robin Williams

For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I'm outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even within yourself, where it's hardest to see. ~ Robin Williams

I met Nelson Mandela, and I really didn't know what to say. It was years ago at a benefit. I was just in awe of this man because of what he'd done. ~ Robin Williams

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. ~ Robin Williams

I think it's great when stories are dark and strange and weirdly personal. ~ Robin Williams

My preference is live performance. Because you get the feedback. There's an energy. It's live theater. That's why I think actors like that. You know, musicians need it, comedians definitely need it. It doesn't matter what size and what club, whether it's 30 people in the club or 2,000 in a hall or a theater. It's live, it's symbiotic, you need it. ~ Robin Williams

What some folks call impossible is just stuff they haven't seen before. ~ Robin Williams

I had one or two steady girlfriends in high school, but then in college, it was three, four ... I went crazy. At one point I had three separate girlfriends, running around mad. ~ Robin Williams

People say that I'm a tree hugger, but I do a lot more than hug trees. I like having my drinking water without faecal matter, that's really nice. Or acceptable levels of strychnine. I'm an air breather, I've gotten used to that over the years. ~ Robin Williams

I was once on a German talk show, and this woman said to me, 'Mr. Williams, why do you think there is not so much comedy in Germany?' And I said, 'Did you ever think you killed all the funny people?' ~ Robin Williams

I left school and couldn't find acting work, so I started going to clubs where you could do stand-up. I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience. ~ Robin Williams

Sometimes it's more noble to tell a small lie than to deliver a painful truth. ~ Robin Williams

Crying never helped anybody do anything, okay? You have a problem you face it like a man. ~ Robin Williams

Lance Armstrong pushes the envelope in terms of the human experience. You can have a personal best, you can push your own envelope. For Lance, the person pushing him is him. The only person he's competing with, I think, is himself. To push that limit to the next step. There's a lot to learn from him. Lots. ~ Robin Williams

I've never had a "hankering" to direct. I can perform, but I can't write on that level. I tend to go off on tangents. Directing also requires a kind of specificity and I don't have it. ~ Robin Williams

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. ~ Robin Williams

Now you can't even carry a nail clipper on a plane. Are they afraid you're going to go ... "All right! Give me the plane or the b*tch loses her cuticle." ? ~ Robin Williams

Death - to blink for an exceptionally long period of time. ~ Robin Williams

I remember Robin [Williams] walked up to me after the last take and said, "Thanks boss! We nailed it!" That will probably be one of the best moments of my life. ~ Roberto Aguire

I never performed on drugs. That'd be stupid. It's the same thing with athletes. They can't perform when they have cocaine problems. ~ Robin Williams

Before the Web, there was just one guy running around saying 'I KNOW!' ~ Robin Williams

Robin Williams was once in a lifetime, and his lifetime was now very much over ~ Dave Itzkoff

Cable is not bound because people pay for it. It's literally a choice, that's the operative word. If you don't like the language, if cocksucker offends you, then turn it off. ~ Robin Williams

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? ~ Robin Williams

I would love to say that I wrote (Good Will Hunting). Here is the truth. In my obit it will say that I wrote it. People don't want to think those two cute guys wrote it. What happened was, they had the script. It was their script. They gave it to Rob [Reiner] to read, and there was a great deal of stuff in the script dealing with the F.B.I. trying to use Matt Damon for spy work because he was so brilliant in math. Rob said, "Get rid of it." They then sent them in to see me for a day - I met with them in New York - and all I said to them was, "Rob's right. Get rid of the F.B.I. stuff. Go with the family, go with Boston, go with all that wonderful stuff." And they did. I think people refuse to admit it because their careers have been so far from writing, and I think it's too bad. I'll tell you who wrote a marvelous script once, Sylvester Stallone. Rocky's a marvelous script. God, read it, it's wonderful. It's just got marvelous stuff. And then he stopped suddenly because it's easier being a movie star and making all that money than going in your pit and writing a script. But I did not write [Good Will Hunting], alas. I would not have written the "It's not your fault" scene. I'm going to assume that 148 percent of the people in this room have seen a therapist. I certainly have, for a long time. Hollywood always has this idea that it's this shrink with only one patient. I mean, that scene with Robin Williams gushing and Matt Damon and they're hugging, "It's not your fault, it's n ~ William Goldman

To make fun of an administration, to make fun of anything, Mark Twain said, is the last defense of democracy. ~ Robin Williams

There's a time for daring and there's a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for. ~ Robin Williams

Smile my boy, it's sunrise ~ Robin Williams

I feel like I'm a big human snot. ~ Robin Williams

Women are wonderful. They're amazing creatures. You can never learn enough! They're addicting in the most amazing sense. ~ Robin Williams

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills - no, no. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while. ~ Robin Williams

I only ever play Vegas one night at a time. It's a hideous, gaudy place; it may not be the end of the world per se, but you can certainly see it from there. ~ Robin Williams

The entire world will be in nuclear war, and only the Swiss will be going, 'what's that noise?' ~ Robin Williams

Do you get the feeling with Sarah Palin, in high school, she was voted least likely to write a book and most likely to burn one? ~ Robin Williams

I think you have everyone kind of pulling on the same end of the rope. It's not like you're Robin Williams and everyone else is a deaf mute. It's like - there's plenty of help. ~ Michael McKean

This song goes out to Robin Williams. It's called 'Last Hope'. ~ Hayley Williams

It's cheaper to keep her. ~ Robin Williams

If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution, to a temporary problem. ~ Robin Williams

What's my credibility? Why are they looking to me for advice? Isn't there someone more qualified? ~ Robin Williams

It was kind of a decompression - from straight alcohol to mixed drinks to wine to spritzers - and then you're out. ~ Robin Williams

It's frightening and exhilarating. It's like combat. Look at the metaphors: You kill when it works; you die when it doesn't. ~ Robin Williams

In California, we are a sixty percent Hispanic state, we elected an Austrian governor. Even old Nazis are going That's weird. ~ Robin Williams

Being a famous print journalist is like being the best-dressed woman on radio. ~ Robin Williams

What's true in our minds is true, whether some people know it or not. ~ Robin Williams

I indeed had only one scene, one speech, one little speech, but it was with Robin Williams. ~ Charles Keating

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons. ~ Robin Williams

I don't love comedy but I can watch someone who's kind of interesting forever. I think a waitress who's having a bad day is a lot more fun than Robin Williams doing forty minutes of material. ~ Bruce McCulloch

It's great that we've got a compassionate conservative,
but to me, that sounds like a Volvo with a gun rack. ~ Robin Williams

My favorite thing to do is ride a bicycle. I ride road bikes. And for me, it's mobile meditation. ~ Robin Williams

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose. ~ Robin Williams

Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen. ~ Mitch Hedberg

There are times when life's just real quiet and simple. I sometimes get tired of people saying, "Well, what are you really like?" ~ Robin Williams

I play a lot of computer games. I love computer graphics. I've had Pixar in me for a long time. ~ Robin Williams

Decaf is like masturbating with an oven mitt! ~ Robin Williams

We're dealing with fundamentalists ... the Amish are fundamentalists, but they don't try and hijack a carriage at needlepoint. And, if you're ever in Amish country and you see a man with his hand buried in a horse's ass, that's a mechanic. Remember that. ~ Robin Williams

In the process of looking for comedy, you have to be deeply honest. And in doing that, you'll find out here's the other side. You'll be looking under the rock occasionally for the laughter. ~ Robin Williams

Bicycles are pieces of art. You get that combination of kinetic engineering, but then, besides the welds, the paint jobs, the kind of the sculpture of it all is quite beautiful. Bikes have such great lines, and all different styles. ~ Robin Williams

I like a very dry wit, not the big kind of humor like Robin Williams. I don't think I'm capable of that. ~ Chris Cooper

The worst thing in life is not to end up all alone. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone. ~ Robin Williams

Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day ... make a wish and think of me. ~ Robin Williams

I write on big yellow legal pads - ideas in outline form when I'm doing stand-up and stuff. It's vivid that way. I can't type it into an iPad - I think that would put a filter into the process. ~ Robin Williams

Canadian money is also called the loony. How can you take an economic crisis seriously? ~ Robin Williams

With mountain biking, it's always that constant thing, negotiating singletrack, which I like, but for a road ride that rhythm is really Buddhist. When you get a good pedal stoke, it's that thing of everything works. ~ Robin Williams

One of my favourite actors of all time, although he doesn't necessarily play villains, is Peter Lorre. ~ Robin Williams

I love kids, but they are a tough audience. ~ Robin Williams

I'm an Episcopal, which is Catholic Lite. It's like same religion, half the guilt. ~ Robin Williams

I went to rehab for alcoholism in wine country, just to keep my options open. ~ Robin Williams

I've had a lot of people tell me they watched 'Old Dogs' with their kids and had a good time. ~ Robin Williams

The 'Aladdin' thing - that's not work; that's just fun. Three days in the recording studio going mad, then the animators do all the work. Not a bad way to cash a large check, my friend. ~ Robin Williams

There's this thing called freebasing. It's not free, it costs you your home. It should be called 'homebasing'. ~ Robin Williams

I don't practice anything. I spend time looking over ideas and then just get out and do it. ~ Robin Williams

A Pentagon official once said the people who would actually push the button probably have never seen a person die. He said the only hope -and it's a strange thought - is if they put the button to launch the nuclear war behind a man's heart. The President, then, with a rusty knife, would have to cut out the man's heart, kill the man, to get to the button. ~ Robin Williams

Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person. ~ Robin Williams

It's always great when you want scientific fact to get a really good science fiction writer to talk to you about it. ~ Robin Williams

The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard. ~ Robin Williams

My children give me a great sense of wonder. Just to see them develop into these extraordinary human beings. And a favorite book as a child? Growing up, it was 'The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe' - I would read the whole C.S. Lewis series out loud to my kids. I was once reading to Zelda, and she said 'don't do any voices. Just read it as yourself.' So I did, I just read it straight, and she said 'that's better.' ~ Robin Williams

Comedy can be a cathartic way to deal with personal trauma. ~ Robin Williams

In 'The Secret Agent,' it's basically a character that was admired by Theodore Kaczynski, which is some fan mail you don't really want to open. This is a man who is a chemist and who specializes in making bombs and despises humanity. ~ Robin Williams

[when asked about what he was most thankful about]: Being alive. After heart surgery, you dig that part. Breath, family and friends are just amazing. Just to have a second shot is pretty great! ~ Robin Williams

A human life is just a heartbeat in heaven. ~ Robin Williams

Robin Williams understands sonic performances. He understands what it's like to change your voice up. ~ Billy West