Paul Mooney Quotes

People don't want to hear the truth; they never do. They wanna live in some kind of fantasy.

I don't do drugs. Because my grandmother raised me. I think like an old, black, Southern woman. If I'd have done coke, I'd probably be cooking pancakes.

I think I have a mental nappy attitude.

Hollywood doesn't even have respect for itself. Hollywood lies to itself.

I was born a comic.

I can't change the past, but one person can change the future - anything can happen.

Hillary Clinton could say she was a woman and running for president. And Sarah Palin could say she was a woman and running for vice-president. But Obama couldn't say, 'I'm black and I'm running for president.' It couldn't come out of his mouth. He couldn't say that because, if he did, he'd lose votes.

The political arena is the funniest.They [politicians] are always pretending to change, but they never change. They're the best actors and actresses in the world. They've always been hilarious since the beginning of time.

You got to remember that slavery's very complex. It has a lot of levels to it.

I do celebrate anything with freedom in it, you know.

I have nothing to do with racism in America; it was here when I got here.

If your hair is relaxed, white people are relaxed. If your hair is nappy, they're not happy.

We have a lot of black Anglo-Saxons. Their skin is black, but their brain is white. When I get real mad at them, I call them 'graham crackers.'

What does it mean to be too black for Hollywood? It's self-explanatory. Hollywood has certain kinds of blacks that they like.

If you're happy with what you're doing, then you don't get bored.

No wonder circus animals do what they do: They tortured them. And you know the only ones they can't control? It's the chimpanzees. You can't control them. That's why you never see a gorilla in a movie, because the gorilla may decide there'll be no filming.

Robin Williams learned technique. He has the technique of being funny.

Tennessee Williams knew about the South, but he would clean it up and lie about it.

White people made up the n-word, they knew about racial jokes before anybody, and in their old movies and old cartoons they made fun of everybody, especially black folks. Racial jokes were not new to them.

America has a rap sheet. You can't police the world and tell the world how to act when you're just as bad yourself.

Arizona has always been anti-black.

Majority doesn't rule. One person can change the history of the world.

I have such an ego 'cause I'm a double Leo. I can't let go of me, you know, so it's very difficult for me to be somebody else and not me. I'm so into me.

If you have money and you have fame, but you don't have any confidence in your blackness, then it's all for nothing.

People think you're crazy if you turn money down ... people worship money.

You white folks see UFOs in your dreams. You don't hear about Martians in Harlem.

When you know who you are, you know who you are. That's the real dangerous thing in Hollywood, because they all want to create you and mold you.

There's always a message in my comedy.

Whatever that thing is that white people like in blacks, I don't have it. Maybe it's my arrogance or my self-assurance or the way I carry myself, but whatever it is, I don't have it.

A woman can tell me about her having a baby, but I'll never know what it is to have a baby.

I read a lot of history. The passive Jews in Germany didn't survive. The smart ones got out.

The king of comedy is dead. Richard Pryor was the king of comedy. The rest of them are the king of copycats.

I think about never losing my voice, never giving in, never selling out, always keeping black, always sticking to the street. Staying neighborhood and not Hollywood.

People in America worship money, and a white man's face on a green piece of paper does not make me wealthy. My health makes me wealthy. I used to work at a hospital, so I know the real deal.

My grandmother was the best. She loved you for you. She loved me for me. She was old-school. They broke the mold with her. They don't make them like that any more.

I like comedy, I mean, in all forms.

America does not like losers. Look how we treated those soldiers who came back from Vietnam. Because they lost. America likes winners.

I like when people are trapped in the joke, when there's no escape. I like to lead people down the wrong path and then trap them.

People ask me, when was my best time? I always say, 'Today.'

A new broom can sweep the floor, but an old broom knows where the dirt is.

I'm like the Davy Crockett of comedy ... after Davy Crockett opened up the West and helped everybody ... they didn't need him anymore. I freed a lot of comics ... if I never would have done comedy, it would've been a different art form ... I'm sure of it.