Pantene Humor Quotes

The only threesome I've ever experienced is with Pantene 2 in 1 ~ Josh Stern

They said, "You know, this issue doesn't seem to resignate with the people." And I said, you know something? Whether it resignates or not doesn't matter to me, because I stand for doing what's the right thing, and what the right thing is hearing the voices of people who work. ~ George W. Bush

No thanks," I answered, "I never take rides from strangers, thugs who've tried to kill me or people with poor personal hygiene. Congratulations, by the way, for being the first person to qualify in all three categories. ~ John Zakour

For the snark was a boojum, you see. ~ Lewis Carroll

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself. ~ Peter O'Toole

Only three things are real: God, human folly, and laughter. Since we can do nothing with the first two, we must do what we can with the third. ~ John F. Kennedy

Andrew Lloyd Webber's version of the Kool-Aid jingle is at once chilling and evocative. Donny Osmond is brilliant as James Jones. ~ Christopher Moore

You've got no sense of humor."
"I'm going to laugh really hard after I kick your ass. ~ J.D. Robb

It's the only way anything will change. Because we are both mother and child, cause and effect, villain and victim ~ Jason Najum

Last time you bring me pie, I cut into it, with my tiny pie cutter, and millions of birds flew out hitting me in the eyes and the temples ... it was a trick pie! ~ Noel Fielding

The West Sister Dating Rules were clear on the matter of apologies. On the evolutionary scale of dating, a guy who apologized solely for the sake of ending the argument and getting back into your good graces was on the level of primeval slime - especially if he was clearly doing so merely because he was hoping for sex. The proper response was to unveil the offender's deceit by demanding he explain what exactly he was apologizing for, and then scorn him when he betrayed his ignorance. ~ Alex Gabriel

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. ~ Mae West

Sorry, maybe this is the head injury talking, but ... what? ~ Stacey Kade

He lives near me so we do some things together." His throat felt tight. "Well, lots of things, actually. But of course we have our own lives. Both know it's important we don't get in each other's way. It's not like he needs me, needs my help for anything."
"But you do."
Garry turned his head so swiftly, he heard it crick.
"You need him," Emily announced, gravely. "Don't you?"
And while he desperately searched for something to say that would stop this right now, she peered carefully at his shoulders and neck.
"You need him to do your hair, to comb out those very nasty dangles. It's difficult, I know. I can't do my plates on my own."
Max caught Garry's eye. "Tangles," he mouthed. "Plaits. ~ Clare London

What did she say?" Lauren breathed.
"She told me to check the oil," Nick replied imperturbably.
Despite his outward attitude of total indifference, Lauren couldn't believe that as a younger man he'd been so vulnerable. Surely having his own mother treat him as if he didn't exist must have hurt him terribly. "Is that all she said?" she asked tightly.
Unaware that Lauren was not sharing his ironic humor in the story,he said, "No-I think she asked me to check the air in her tires too."
Lauren had kept her voice neutral, but inwardly she felt ill. Tears stung her eyes, and she turned her face up to the purpling sky to hide them,pretending to watch the lacy clouds drifting over the moon.
"Lauren?" His voice sounded curt.
"Hmmmm?" she asked,staring steadfastly at the moon.
Leaning forward,he caught her chin and turned her face toward his. He looked at her brimming eyes in stunned disbelief. "You're crying!" he said incredulously.
Lauren waved a dismissing hand at him. "Don't pay any attention to that-I cry at movies too. ~ Judith McNaught

What are you doing eating a salad? If you turned sideways in the wind, you'd whistle. ~ Lani Diane Rich

Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would've been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago. And by the way, I say "this guy", because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if there is a God, it has to be a man.
No woman could or would ever fuck things up like this. So, if there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he's at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn't give a shit. Doesn't give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results. ~ George Carlin

Republicans approve of the American farmer, but they are willing to help him go broke. They stand four-square for the American home
but not for housing. They are strong for labor
but they are stronger for restricting labor's rights. They favor minimum wage
the smaller the minimum wage the better. They endorse educational opportunity for all
but they won't spend money for teachers or for schools. They think modern medical care and hospitals are fine
for people who can afford them. They consider electrical power a great blessing
but only when the private power companies get their rake-off. They think American standard of living is a fine thing
so long as it doesn't spread to all the people. And they admire of Government of the United States so much that they would like to buy it. ~ Harry Truman

We are unable to discount the hypotheses that the world began three years ago. ~ Nagaru Tanigawa

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn? ~ Bob Hope

Buckets,' said Cimorene. 'Lots of buckets, and soap, and lemon juice. Where do you keep your buckets, Mendanbar?'
'Around somewhere,' Mendanbar said vaguely. ~ Patricia C. Wrede

Life is an adventure! So live it up! ~ L.M. Preston

He'd been crazy about her for more years than he cared to admit. Unfortunately, he knew nothing would ever come of it, so he would have to settle for proximity and hope that like a mold or a fungus, he would eventually grow on her. ~ Michael McBride

I'll catch my death"

"If you don't get out of my sight, you won't have to catch death. I'll bring it to you ~ Stacey Kayne

We're going to play a different game now. It's called "who can yell 'help' the loudest and the most. ~ Allie Brosh

A certain excess of animal spirits with thoughtless good-humor will often make more enemies than the most deliberate spite and ill-nature, which is on its guard, and strikes with caution and safety. ~ William Hazlitt

It would be either a very skilled or very unwise man to steal from an assassin." - Taliesin ~ Sabrina Zbasnik

So", says Jack at at last ... "you broke up with Connor".
Wow. So we're straight to the point.
"So", I reply defiantly. "You decided to stay".
"Yes, well ... ", "I thought I might take a closer look at some of the European subsidiaries." He looks up. "How about you?"
"Same reason." I nod. "European subsidiaries". ~ Sophie Kinsella

I used to have a lot of faith in humanity before the advent of the website "comment" section. ~ Jim Gaffigan

Is this..." Chronicler hesitated, looking around. "Are we in Newarre?"
Kote nodded. "You are, in fact, in the middle of Newarre. ~ Patrick Rothfuss

By the way, did you fellows know that a hummingbird weighs as much as a quarter? Do you think a hummingbird also weighs the same as two dimes and a nickel? But then she asked a question of her own: How do they weigh a hummingbird? ~ Calvin Trillin

To me, Ann Romney sounds like a better candidate than her husband. She put her MS into remission through horseback riding, alternative therapies, and a healthy diet. She knows how to pace herself. She has a sense of humor and an innate honesty, and her hair moves in the wind. Maybe she should run. ~ Patti Davis

And don't tell me there isn't one bit of difference between null and space, because that's exactly how much difference there is ~ Larry Wall

What's in a name, anyway? That which we call a nose by any other name would still smell. ~ Reduced Shakespeare Company

AK 47, is perfect copy, yes? Every detail. Like real thing. Yes. Kalashnikov. Your boy, he be happy for Uncle Sante, no?"
"I'm sorry, Sante. It's really nice of you, but I don't want Sofus playing with guns."
Conversation between George Hanson and Sante
In The Shadow of Sadd ~ Steen Langstrup

Julie Czerneda's inner editor says, 'One day her expectations will meet reality and actually get along. ~ Julie E. Czerneda

From sixteen to twenty, all women, kept in humor by their hopes and by their attractions, appear to be good-natured. ~ Samuel Richardson

Being Jewish is a big part of my artistic sensibility and my humor ... I think it gives me a certain take on the world on a literary level. ~ Adam Mansbach

Life is meaning less when you realized that you are about to die. Till then, everything negative however trifle they may be, depress you. ~ Ankur Basu Roy

Bill was wrestling with his undercooked chicken. "Wow," I remarked while examining my own plate. "I don't think I can eat this."
"I know. It's gross," he conceded. "But it's free, so I scarf down seconds each night."
"As a dog returneth to his vomit," I said, while making the sign of the cross in the air in front of me.
"Amen," he agreed with his mouth full, and toasted me with his 7Up can. ~ Hope Jahren

I'd rather be weird than ordinary. Ordinary is so boring. ~ Noah Willoughby