Mae West Quotes

Mae West: If I can't a man with a million dollars, I'll a million men with one dollar.

Keep a diary, and someday it'll keep you.

A hard man is good to find.

Keep a diary and one day it'll keep you.

Never ask a man where he has been.

The bite of existence did not cut into one in Hollywood ... Life elsewhere was real and slippery and struggled in the arms like a big fish dying in air.

A real farmer. He spent his childhood in the wheat, and his marriage in the hay.

Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.

I enjoyed the courtroom as just another stage but not so amusing as Broadway.

Personality is the glitter that sends your little gleam across the footlights and the orchestra pit into that big black space where the audience is.

I've always taken men just as I found 'em, and thank heavens I've been able to find 'em.

Love is what you make it and who you make it with.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini ...

I've been in more laps than a napkin.

I never set out to make men a career; it just happened that way.

To err is human - but it feels divine.

I believe that it's better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked.

Never mind about the six feet. Let's talk about the seven inches.

Reason was nowhere, time was an immovable object nailed high on the wall, except where the world kept shop.

I started out as Snow White, but then I drifted.

Words should be used as tools of communication and not as a substitute for action

I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.

My advice to those who think they have to take off their clothes to be a star is, once you're boned, what's left to create the illusion? Let em wonder. I never believed in giving them too much of me.

It's easy to get married, but hard to stay that way.

Sometimes it seems to me I've known so many men that the FBI ought to come to me first to compare fingerprints.

I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them.

I know so much about men because I went to night school.

Ya know it was a toss-up whether I go in for diamonds or sing in the choir. The choir lost.

If you put your foot in it, be sure it's your best foot.

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.

Girls, give all your gentlemen friends an even break, even if you have to break them in the attempt.

There are no good girls gone wrong - just bad girls found out.

I've been in 'Who's Who' and I know what's what, but it'll be the first time I ever made the dictionary.

His mother should have thrown him out and kept the stork.

Woman: You certainly know the way to a man's heart.
Mae West: Funny, too, 'cause I don't know how to cook.

Sex is an emotion in motion.

Hollywood was like a mouse being followed by a cat called television.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

JUDGE: Are you trying to show contempt for this court?
MAE WEST: I was doin' my best to hide it.

Everyone has the right to run his own life- even if you're heading for a crash. What I'm against is blind flying.

Never ask a man where's he's been. If he's out on legitimate business, he doesn't need an alibi. And, girls, if he has been out on illegitimate business, it's your own fault.

I like my clothes tight enough to show I'm a woman, but loose enough to show I'm a lady.

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.

I've been things and seen places.

I'd like to see Paris before I die.

Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.

Tira begins to sing "I'm No Angel" to him as the screen fades: Baby, I can warm you with this love of mine. I'm No Angel. Aw, let me feel my fingers running through your hair, I can give you kisses ...

When you get the personality, you don't need the nudity.

When in doubt, take a bath...

Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired.

I've been things and I've seen places.

Kiss and make up-but too much makeup has ruined many a kiss.

Hiring someone to write your autobiography is like hiring someone to take a bath for you

A man in love is like a clipped coupon - it's time to cash in.

Why don't you come up and have a little ... scotch and sofa?

All pleasures should be taken in great leisure and are worth going into in detail; love is not like eating a quick lunch with one's hat on.

I go for two kinds of men. The kind with muscles, and the kind without.

Some of the wildest men make the best pets.

For a long time I was ashamed of the way I lived. Did I reform, you ask? No. I'm not ashamed anymore.

When I'm good I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.

I like a man what takes his time.

It's not what you say, but how you say it!

I have never been able to sleep with anyone. I require a full-size bed so that I can lie in the middle of it and extend my arms spreadeagle on both sides without being obstructed.

It's not what I do, but the way I do it. It's not what I say, but the way I say it.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Dating means two things; disillusionment or a racing heart.

Men would wither and custom stale them, but diamonds! Ah, they were crystallized immortality!

You gotta get up early in the morning to catch a fox and stay up late at night to get a mink.

I never needed Panavision and stereophonic sound to woo the world. I did it in black and white on a screen the size of a postage stamp. Honey, that's talent.

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.

I freely chose the kind of life I led because I was convinced that a woman has as much right as a man to live the way she does if she does no actual harm to society.

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.

Women want certain things in marriage
the right to a title and a front seat in the lap of luxury.

Personality is the most important thing to an actress's success.

Don't forget honey. Never let one man worry your mind. Find 'em, fool 'em and forget 'em.

It's all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he's perfect.

He's the kind of man who picks his friends - to pieces.

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!

I'm single because I was born that way.

Just a little sheep dip. Panacea for all stomach ailments.

Men are not realists - only women are.

Well behaved women do not make history.

Diamonds talk, and I can stand listenin' to 'em often.

Women like a man with a past, but they prefer a man with a present.

I never loved another person the way I loved myself.

He who hesitates is a damned fool.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.

Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from.

If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!

One more drink and I'll be under the host.

[On the metaphysical:] ... I knew in some marvelous way I had touched the hem of the unknown. And being me, I wanted to lift that hemline a little bit more.

Let men see what's coming to them, and women will get what's coming to them.

How tall are you big boy? Six foot nine inches! Let's go up to my place and talk about the nine inches!

No one can have everything, so you have to try for what you want most.

One and one is two, and two and two is four, and five will get you ten if you know how to work it.

If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.

Love thy neighbor
and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.

It's not the men in your life that matters, it's the life in your men.

I'm a woman of very few words, but lots of action.