Stay Home Funny Quotes

It's funny. We meet hundreds of people. We stop to remember them sometimes and they're so far away and we're not a part of them anymore. Makes you realise how important it is to be a part of someone. And stay that way with them. And we have visions of going out into the open world and treating it as our oyster... but it takes a small, mindful moment to make us realise that doesn't really mean anything when you don't have someone to call home. ~ C. JoyBell C.

I mean if there was any justice in the world you wouldn't even have to go to school during your period. You'd just stay home for five days and eat chocolate and cry. ~ Andrea Portes

I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumours to my dogs. ~ Andy Warhol

I've often thought it unfair that women are expected to stay at home when there's a fight to be won. If a
woman has the strength to bear a child, she can swing a sword as well as any man. ~ Karen Hawkins

It was funny how you could go somewhere and your whole life could stretch out and then you could come home and have it all shrink back to the way it was before. It was funny that it didn't stay stretched. ~ Jodi Lynn Anderson

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry. ~ Josh Billings

[Mom] said she worked hard and saw to it he ate and got good clothes and had a place for himself. She said it funny and she said it so often you didn't hear it any more, but she did say it.
Pop also said he worked hard all day and when he came home he had a right. He said it to Mom and he said it to Jorry. Then Jorry would say whatever it was he always said, and nobody heard him either.
Jorry began to walk faster.
Because if there was a way to say something to Mom, and if she could say it to him and to Pop, so that they heard each other, they wouldn't need to stay mad or feel useless, not any of them. Like if somehow you can make people just listen to each other, not just listen to you. And you listen too. Everybody. ~ Theodore Sturgeon

Mom?" Then again, louder. "Mom?"
She turned around so quickly, she knocked the pan off the stove and nearly dropped the gray paper into the open flame there. I saw her reach back and slap her hand against the knobs, twisting a dial until the smell of gas disappeared.
"I don't feel good. Can I stay home today?"
No response, not even a blink. Her jaw was working, grinding, but it took me walking over to the table and sitting down for her to find her voice. "How - how did you get in here?"
"I have a bad headache and my stomach hurts," I told her, putting my elbows up on the table. I knew she hated when I whined, but I didn't think she hated it enough to come over and grab me by the arm again.
"I asked you how you got in here, young lady. What's your name?" Her voice sounded strange. "Where do you live?"
Her grip on my skin only tightened the longer I waited to answer. It had to have been a joke, right? Was she sick, too? Sometimes cold medicine did funny things to her.
Funny things, though. Not scary things.
"Can you tell me your name?" she repeated.
"Ouch!" I yelped, trying to pull my arm away. "Mom, what's wrong?"
She yanked me up from the table, forcing me onto my feet. "Where are your parents? How did you get in this house?"
Something tightened in my chest to the point of snapping.
"Mom, Mommy, why - "
"Stop it," she hissed, "stop calling me that!"
"What are you - ?" I think I must have tried to say someth ~ Alexandra Bracken

Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home. ~ Kin Hubbard

Sometimes I do envision just being a stay at home mom but not working isn't an option for me currently. ~ Tori Spelling

Stay, stay at home, my heart and rest;
Home-keeping hearts are happiest. ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I like to stay at home and make cinema in my head. ~ Eric Cantona

Stay at home mom is still a job. ~ Alison Brie

I don't hide. I never have. I stay at home because I like to stay at home, and at home I work. ~ Oriana Fallaci

I think I would make a lousy stay-at-home mom. It just wouldn't suit me. ~ Claire Danes

I am a voyager - and the voyage cannot mean that I stay at home. ~ Emmanuelle Beart

Gotta stay in the gym, stay funny, stay sharp. I just love working. ~ Marlon Wayans

I like to stay at home and sit on my ass. ~ Chelsea Handler

Art hurts. Art urges voyages - and it is easier to stay at home. ~ Gwendolyn Brooks

I really don't go out at all; I just stay at home and watch movies and skateboard around the house. ~ Michael Angarano

I'm a home girl. I like to stay home. ~ Faith Hill

I'd just as soon stay home and raise babies. ~ June Allyson

Whenever I'm having a bad day and have an attitude, I stay home. I keep it at home. ~ Michael Clarke Duncan

Touring is a young man's game, but after 30 years of it, I want to stay home. ~ Barry Manilow

This is my home. Home is where the disease is. As long as I stay in America, I'll never run out of subjects for songs. ~ Jello Biafra

I never would have given up my work to stay home. ~ Shirley Maclaine

I'd much rather go out and have music randomly presented to me by different DJs than stay home and discover it on my own. ~ Moby

I'm so happy and thankful I made it a point be a stay-at-home mom. ~ Candace Cameron Bure

What I really wanted to do, actually, was stay home and be a mom and have some more kids. ~ Suzy Amis

I wanted to get out of the pictures and stay home so that I could have children. ~ Lucille Ball

I'm pretty much an isolated person. I'd rather stay home and play video games. ~ Steve Jones

Not too many people can afford for the wife to stay home and raise the kids. ~ Eric Braeden

They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that? ~ Casey Stengel

Let us stay at home: there we are decent. Let us not go out: our defects wait for us at the door, like flies. ~ Jules Renard

You stay home and raise daughters, who grow up and get jobs and then feel pity for you, their stay-at-home mothers. ~ Noah Hawley

Working moms, stay at home moms, they're both extremely hard jobs. ~ Hilary Rosen

An explorer cannot stay at home reading maps other men have made. ~ Susanna Clarke

Let's think about Mexican streets: they're unsafe because of violence, so people stay at home. Does that make streets more or less safe? Less safe! So streets become more desolate and unsafe, so we stay home more - which makes streets even more desolate and unsafe, and we stay home even more. ~ Emiliano Salinas

There's nothing American tourists like more than the things they can get at home. ~ Stephen Colbert

There's been a lot of coming home in the early mornings after funny nights out, having bizarre sandwiches in bed. ~ Neneh Cherry

Charity should begin at home, but should not stay there. ~ Phillips Brooks

But why, oh why, do the wrong people travel, when the right people stay at home? ~ Noel Coward

I rarely stay at home when I'm in New York. I'm always doing things. It brings you so much energy. ~ Olivier Theyskens

I'm kind of a homebody. My husband says I like to just stay home and do nothing, but that's just how I am. ~ Kristi Yamaguchi

About a month before I gave birth, Colin moved to LA full-time. Once Rudy arrived, Colin settled happily into his new role, returning to architecture when an interesting project cropped up. Pretty amazing, right? Unless you reverse the gender, and then it's what women who have the choice to stay home do 95 percent of the time. ~ Nell Scovell

You always see people coming back to the sport, and I've always thought, 'Gosh, when you're done playing, wouldn't you just want to stay at home?' ~ Lindsay Davenport

My parents were liberal intellectuals but even they expected me to stay at home and look after my younger siblings and do the housework. ~ Sara Paretsky

I like to stay home and listen to recordings. ~ Gyorgy Ligeti

I like to present something that the people haven't seen or haven't heard before. Otherwise they might as well just stay home and play the record. ~ Herbie Hancock

Don't wonder whether you have a call to go. Have you had a distinct call from Christ to stay at home? ~ George Wilson

I probably spend more time with my kids than the average stay-at-home mother. ~ Kirstie Alley

There is no beauty or romance or mystery in the sea except for the men that sail abroad upon it, and those who stay at home and dream of them. ~ Lord Dunsany

I like to stay home with my family. ~ Mads Mikkelsen

I'm a very lazy, stay-at-home kind of girl. ~ Jerry Hall

I'm funny at home too, but not deliberately. My wife is usually laughing at me rather than with me. ~ Daniel Dae Kim

My father was one of 11. He was an attorney. My mother worked for the Syracuse newspaper as a columnist before she became a stay-at-home mother. ~ Siobhan Fallon Hogan

If my own current husband was suddenly a stay-at-home dad, it would be emasculating. That would be hard for me. ~ Hanna Rosin

Can you cook books and feed them to your husband? Stay at home with your mother. Learn to cook and clean. Grow vegetables. ~ Tsitsi Dangarembga

Some women choose to stay at home and be housewives. If they are happy with it, then it's a wonderful choice. But I know I couldn't do that. I couldn't be a housewife. ~ May-Britt Moser

It is not my wish to stay home so much that I become isolated, but to use the comforting influence of my home to restore and gather myself after each step I take in my expanding ability to participate in the world. ~ Maureen Brady

If you're a misanthrope you stay at home. There are certain writers who really don't like other people. I'm not like that, I don't think. ~ Paul Theroux

If in the sight of God you cannot say you are sure that you have a special call to stay at home, why are you disobeying the Saviour's plain command to go? ~ Hudson Taylor

Nothing has ever touched on what fun childhood was. Summer holidays were bliss. We made home movies, with real stories in them. My father had such charm and charisma, and made everything so funny. ~ Jane Birkin

I should like to know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out. ~ George Eliot

Maybe more youngsters would stay home at nights if they were not afraid to stay alone at nights. ~ Herbert V. Prochnow

After my tour I had time to stay at home, be with my boyfriend and hang out with friends and that brought me down to earth and helped me write music from a more relaxed place. ~ Adam Lambert

I'm looking forward to providing the men of Seattle with an evening where they can kick back, light up a cigar and enjoy a night to themselves. Women, we can't technically keep you out, but please stay at home. ~ Tom Leykis

I think it's a tough road if you're a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, if you have a partner, if you don't. It's the best job in the world, and the toughest job in the world all at the same time. ~ Angela Kinsey

If woman wants to have kids and work a little less she has a big disadvantage compared to a male colleague who has a stay-at-home wife packing his suitcases. ~ Christiane Nusslein-Volhard

Placing the extraordinary at the center of the ordinary, as realism does, is a great comfort to us stay-at-homes. ~ Mason Cooley

That home run ties it up, 1-0. ~ Jerry Coleman

Right now my favorite TV show - because it's too close to home - is 'My Name Is Earl.' That show kills me. There's some funny stuff in there. ~ Rodney Atkins

I thought, 'If you're going to be on TV, and if you're going to be out and glamorous, the natural look can stay at home.' ~ Pamela Anderson

The intellect is vagabond, and our system of education fosters restlessness. Our minds travel when our bodies are forced to stay at home. We imitate; and what is imitation but the travelling of the mind? ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

That's where depression hits you most - your home life. It doesn't affect your work. I can't do this zany, wacky, funny thing any more. I haven't been like that for a long time. ~ Lenny Henry

I was from such a large family that when I first met my wife, I told her: 'You can go work outside of the house and I'll stay home and continue making my cartoon strips. Maybe I'll make some commercials nearby, you know I'll do anything locally, but I would love to just stay at home and raise the kids like I did when I was growing up.' ~ Robert Rodriguez

That's Hendrick's 19th home run. One more and he reaches double figures. ~ Jerry Coleman

Why, you will go home and then you will find that home is not home any more. Then you will really be in trouble. As long as you stay here, you can always think: One day I will go home. ~ James Baldwin

The artist I wanna be like is Michael Jackson. I'll get the house with the roller coaster and the rides and a disco, and I'll invite all my friends and just stay at home. ~ Lil' Kim

Smart people stay home when the COVID-19 lock-down ends. ~ Steven Magee

You can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things. ~ Ken Kesey

This is one bar you should take home. ~ Eugene Ormandy

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. ~ George Burns

In Poland, some people think that I'm kind of scandalous because I'm a woman who should stay at home with her kids instead of making movies about what I want and, even worse, addressing Polish taboos like church, homosexuals and history. ~ Malgorzata Szumowska

Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network. ~ Rita Rudner

Think for a minute, darling: in fairy tales it's always the children who have the fine adventures. The mothers have to stay at home and wait for the children to fly in the window. ~ Audrey Niffenegger

I feel for Veronica Mars so much when I'm watching at home. It is a wonderful story. The writing is consistently funny, biting, charming, heart-wrenching, etc. I also like the look of it. The cinematography - different from any other show. ~ Jason Dohring

You can never go home again, but the truth is you can never leave home, so it's all right. ~ Maya Angelou

Ethics and religion must not stay at home when we go to work. ~ Achille Silvestrini

You wouldn't want to see a movie where the bad guys triumph over the good guys all the time. You'd get bummed out, and you'd just stay at home and watch the news. ~ Bruce Willis

It's a man's jobno place for women's plans here!what lies outside. Stay home and cause no trouble. ~ Aeschylus

People tend to stay at home and eat a home-cooked meal. There are three days that are really slow for restaurants - Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter. ~ Alan K. Simpson

As long as you're pushing men to stay at work, you're pushing women to stay home. ~ Brigid Schulte

If I stay at home, I'm not famous. I'm only famous when I'm out in the streets, so I don't go out on the streets much. ~ Morgan Freeman

Those can most easily dispense with society who are the most calculated to adorn it; they only are dependent on it who possess no mental resources, for though they bring nothing to the general mart, like beggars, they are too poor to stay at home. ~ Marguerite Gardiner, Countess Of Blessington

These blithering women who thought they could do a man's work. Why the hell couldn't they stay at home and mind their pots and pans and stick to their frocks and gossip and leave men's work to the men. ~ Ian Fleming

Rich women are not too put upon by their children. You don't have to do all the things for a child that those women who had to stay at home did. My Ann had a French governess who took care of her until she was twelve years old and went off to boarding school. ~ Clare Boothe Luce

Look, if you ask a child, 'Would you rather have a fulfilled mother or a stay-at-home Sylvia Plath,' they'll pick Sylvia Plath every time. But I think it's really important that children don't feel their parents' emotional lives depend on their success. ~ Ayelet Waldman

What will bring me home? What will make me stay, stay? Well I don't know, I don't know. ~ Sara Quin

I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and set off all the car alarms on the block ... pretty funny. ~ P. J. O'Rourke