Kin Hubbard Quotes

Very often the quiet fellow has said all he knows

I never saw an athletic girl that thought she was strong enough to do indoor work.

It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about.

Some folks pay a compliment like they went down in their pocket for it.

Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

All I kin git out o' the Wickersham position on prohibition is that the distinguished jurist seems to feel that if we'd let 'em have it the problem o' keepin' 'em from gitten;' it would be greatly simplified

It seems that nothing ever gets to going good till there's a few resignations

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

No matter how much strong black coffee we drink, almost any after- dinner speech will counteract it.

Lots of fellows think a home is only good to borrow money on.

The man who says "I may be wrong, but
" does not believe there can be any such possibility.

The election is not very far off when a candidate can recognize you across the street.

Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.

It used to be that a fellow went on the police force when everything else failed, but today he goes in the advertising game.

A loafer always has the correct time.

One of the commonest mistakes is thinking your worries are over when your children get married.

No one ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book.

A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower.

One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before.

About the only thing we have left that actually discriminates in favor of the plain people is the stork.

We'd all like t'vote fer th'best man, but he's never a candidate.

When a fellow says, 'It ain't the money but the principle of the thing,' it's the money.

An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed.

The only time some fellows are ever seen with their wives is after they've been indicted.

Don't a fellow feel good after he gets out of a store where he nearly bought something.

There is plenty of peace in any home where the family doesn't make the mistake of trying to get together.

The reason the way of the transgressor is hard is because it's so crowded.

Fashion: a barricade behind which men hide their nothingness.

Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family.

In spite of all our speeding it's still the style to be late.

After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school.

Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.

If there's anything mean in a feller, a litter authority will bring it out.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

When some fellers decide to retire nobody knows the difference.

Nothing dispels enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

When a woman says, 'I don't wish to mention any names', it means it ain't necessary to mention any names.

We can tell that a good name is better than riches by those who prefer the riches.

Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

A good listener is usually thinking of something else.

Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.

I will say this for adversity: people seem to be able to stand it, and that is more than I can say for prosperity.

The world gets better every day - then worse again in the evening.

It's pretty hard to be efficient without being obnoxious.

Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.

One of the commonest ailments of the present day is the premature formation of opinion.

Another bad thing about "prosperity" is that you can't jingle any money without being under suspicion

If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public.

Bees are not as busy as we think they are. They jest can't buzz any slower.

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.

Washing your car and polishing it all up is a never failing sign of rain.

Nobuddy ever listened t' reason on a empty stomach.

University: ... a place where rich men send their sons who have no aptitude for business.

Knowin' all about baseball is just about as profitable as bein' a good whittler.

Executive: a man who makes quick decisions and is sometimes right.

As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God's path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony: on a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith.

You won't skid if you stay in a rut.

Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others.

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause.

The hardest thing is writing a recommendation for someone we know.

Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.

A sadder but wiser man is a thousand times more agreeable to meet than the feller that never makes a mistake.

Only one fellow in ten thousand understands the currency question, and we meet him every day.

I'll say this for adversity: people seem to be able to stand it, and that's more than I can say for prosperity.

Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.

Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count.

There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them.

The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.

Every father expects his boy to do the things he wouldn't do when he was young.

Experience is a dear teacher but he delivers the goods.

"Why doesn't the fellow who says, "I'm no speechmaker," let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration? "

A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

I don't know of anything better than a woman if you want to spend money where it will show.

Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.

The longer it takes you to select a cantaloupe, the worse it is!

A sympathizer is a fellow that's for you as long as it doesn't cost anything.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.

Look out for the people who allow you to do all the talking.

I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans.

A fellow ought to save a few of the long evenings he spends with his girl till after they're married.

Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out any quicker than the Christmas spirit.

Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.

There ought t'be some way t'eat celery so it wouldn't sound like you wuz steppin' on a basket.

We like little children, because they tear out as soon as they get what they want.

There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?

The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

It's no disgrace to be poor, but its might as well be.

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands.

Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.

Intelligent people are always on the unpopular side of anything.

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.