Funny Friendship Quotes

Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth. ~ Jon Foreman

How rare and wonderful is that flash of a moment when we realize we have discovered a friend. ~ William Rotsler

A faithful friend is a strong defense;
And he that hath found him hath found a treasure. ~ Louisa May Alcott

May God defend me from my friends: I can defend myself from my enemies. ~ Voltaire

Friendship will not stand the strain of very much good advice for very long. ~ Robert Staughton Lynd

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant. ~ Steven Wright

We English are good at forgiving our enemies; it releases us from the obligation of liking our friends. ~ P.D. James

There are a good many fools who call me a friend, and also a good many friends who call me a fool. ~ Gilbert K. Chesterton

Not Carnegie, Vanderbilt, and Astor together could have raised money enough to buy a quarter share in my little dogs. ~ Ernest Thompson Seton

Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying but the never needing to say is what counts. ~ Margaret Lee Runbeck

A Complicated Kindness is just that: funny and strange, spellbinding and heartbreaking, this novel is a complicated kindness from a terrifically talented writer. ~ Gail Anderson-Dargatz

Bear suits are funny - and bears as well. ~ Christopher Walken

Hey!" Sam snapped, ducking the sticky shrapnel. "Keep your snot to yourself."
Dev scoffed at that. "Oh, so now you don't want to touch me, huh?" He tsked. "What is it with women? the instant you put a little slime on them, they get squeamish and have no more use for you. ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

One of the surest evidences of friendship that one individual can display to another is telling him gently of a fault. If any other can excel it, it is listening to such a disclosure with gratitude, and amending the error. ~ Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton

It's a funny thing because it's what the people say when they come across a ghost situation is that it does freak you out, but then you do get over it - for some reason you're not scared to come across it again. ~ Rhys Darby

Most of the players in the league use marijuana, and I have and do partake in smoking weed in the offseason sometimes. ~ Josh Howard

Fuck you!" "Right here?" He crossed his arms. "That definitely wouldn't help your getting over me. ~ Stacey Marie Brown

The General was essentially a man of peace, except in his domestic life. ~ Oscar Wilde

But then again, they
were like baby Einsteins on crack. ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout

A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!" ~ Henny Youngman

You know a school is run by stuck-up sons of bitches when it doesn't even have a bike rack. ~ Francesca Zappia

Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, "Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery." I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread. ~ Zach Galifianakis

But within ourselves we can experience a real difference between restlessness and solitude. What is that difference? It is the difference between living in freedom rather than compulsion; restfulness rather than restlessness; patience rather than impatience; inwardness rather than frenzied outwardness; altruism rather than greediness; authentic friendship rather than possessive clinging; and empathy rather than apathy.3 ~ Ronald Rolheiser

Small people will find your flaw and make it huge; big people will find your flaw and block it out completely, by sitting next to you. Therefore, hang out with big people. ~ Shannon L. Alder

That thing has a name? ~ J.K. Rowling

You will not pass! Roman thundered.
Great. Now he had decided he was Gandalf. ~ Ilona Andrews

Buddha is pretty funny. Buddha is the coolest, though. If I had to go with one, I'd probably party with the Buddha. ~ Jack Black

It's a required part of your film history to know who Woody is. His movies are so wonderful, and not just funny but so insightful about human behavior. ~ Scarlett Johansson

Funny how well-rehearsed you can become at being who everyone thinks you should be. ~ Stevie J. Cole

If my name was Richard, I'd go by Richard or Rich ... not Dick. Hell I'd even settle for being called Chard. ~ Simone Elkeles

Anyhow, high school is just…The. Worst."

"Funny that you became a high school teacher, then," I say, and she laughs again.

"Something I should talk to my therapist about. Speaking of which, you could speak to the school counselor if you want. We have a psychiatrist on staff. A life coach too."

"Seriously?"

"I know, right? Finding ways to justify the tuition. Anyhow, if not them, feel free to come talk to me anytime. Students like you are the reason I chose to teach."

"Thanks."

"By the way, I look forward to your and Ethan's 'Waste Land' paper. You're two of my brightest students. I have great expectations." Dickens is next on the syllabus. A literary pun. No wonder Mrs. Pollack was destroyed in high school.

"We intend to reach wuthering heights," I say, and as I walk by, she reaches her hand up, and I can't help it - dorks unite! nerd power! - I give her a high five on my way out. ~ Julie Buxbaum

NEVER been nor will I EVER be interested in being a back-burner, rebound, spare-of-the-moment, side-piece, booty-call fly-by-night, drive-thru bang & go, "friends-with-benefits" type of Woman. Yes…..I may be flawed, I may not be the best looker, I have NEVER nor do I EVER think that I am better than anyone or think that I am too good, but I AM Valuable & Worth it. So, I will NEVER beg or compete for a Friendship/Companionship/Relationship from any man nor will I ever be the Woman a man settles for or just another Woman on some guys list. SETTLING BEING THE "OTHER" WOMAN WILL NEVER BE SUITABLE FOR ME---I TO DESERVE TO BE PUT ON A PEDESTAL.....#IPromiseMe ~ Shanaé Jordan

Most of the other visitors were chained to their audio guides, looking only at what their little headsets told them was worth seeing. ~ Dara Horn

It's funny. Dev had always said disposables were different. That what they contained was more special because you couldn't instantly see inside. You had to wait. You had to invest in the moment and then wait to see what you got. And those moments had to be the right moments. You had to be sure you wanted this moment when you pressed the button, because time was always running out, you were always one click closer to the end. That's what it felt like here. But that's what made it exciting.
I looked at the tin number at the top of the wheel.
1.
Eleven more clicks.
What would they be? Who'd be in them? What story would they tell? ~ Danny Wallace

I don't consider myself, you know, in real life one of those funny guys. My comedy comes through my work, ~ Eugene Levy

Funny, how things became very simple once a man's course was decided. It was the aimlessness of choice that made mischief, among both sidhe and mortals. ~ Lilith Saintcrow

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. ~ George Burns

How come abbreviated is such a long word? ~ Steven Wright

Passion is what makes life interesting, what ignites our soul, drives our curiosity, fuels our love and carries our friendship, stimulates our intellect, and pushes our limit ... A passion for life is contagious and uplifting. Passion cuts both ways ... Those that make you feel on top of the world are equally able to turnit upside down ... ~ Jon Krakauer

In this world it is not possible that everyone will follow your steps. You can't change some one and some one will not change their lifestyle because of you. ~ Nutan Bajracharya

Q: Does this train stop at Brighton? A: I hope so or there's going to be a hell of a splash. ~ Kenny Everett

Who are you?" I ask, opening the door the rest of the way and crossing my arms over my chest.
His eyes move to my arms and then back up, and his smile gets wider. "Aye."
"What?" I frown when he chuckles.
"Name's Aye."
"Like when a pirate says yes?" I inquire. Then I growl, "What's so funny?" when he bends over, holding his stomach and laughing.

~ Myla ~ Aurora Rose Reynolds

Our breathing has been a friend that has accompanied us through every moment of life; it has never deserted us no matter how terrible we have felt. Friendship in itself connotes a quality of feelings that has elements of warmth, trust, and welcome. Our hearts always relax when we greet a friend.
Mandala of Being, Richard Moss MD ~ Richard Moss

Approximately eighteen hours after my kiss with Jack Campbell - my kiss with Jack Campbell - I am sitting at a card table with Pooja in the front entrance of the school behind our veritable army of baked goods, overanalyzing the situation to such an absurd degree, it is now less of a kiss and more of an FBI investigation. ~ Emma Lord

It's a funny thing, how it works...
The moment we stop trying so hard to be someone, we become ourselves--only what was there all along, waiting and peeking out from behind all the masks we wore.
And when this happens, we discover that Who We Really Are is much greater than anything we might have pretended or even hoped to be. ~ Jacob Nordby

If I tell you another seven hundred times, maybe one of these days you might turn your clothes right side out when you put them in the hamper, eh? ~ Jodi Picoult

This shit is what would happen if the devil fell asleep in Santa's sleigh and had a wet dream while Rudolf licked his ass to the beat of a choir singing Amazing Grace. ~ Ashleyjo

Knowing people takes time, which we all swear we don't have, or some mitigating circumstance like being caught in an elevator, or war. ~ Kelly Corrigan

An empty skull is the vanitas symbol of modern education. ~ Bauvard

Friendship is the only cure for hatred, the only guarantee of peace. ~ Gautama Buddha

Some things are easier to legalize than to legitimate. ~ Nicolas Chamfort

I don't believe that there is any true friendship without a bond of honor, and the honor in friendship is the respect you give the other that she also gives you. ~ Dorothy Allison