Diarrhea Quotes

Our minds are a lot like our rear-ends. Sometimes they are constipated, other times stricken with mental diarrhea, and occasionally a little bubbly. However, none of these and all of these conditions define our rear-ends or our personalities. Could contentment come from accepting all of our rocks, rumbles and runs? ~ Maximus Freeman

To rely on luck and confront a lion is a suicide mission. You have to be a 'lion' to combat a lion. Even a lion suffering from diarrhea and anorexia is still a formidable opponent. ~ Vincent Okay Nwachukwu

The child mortality revolution has used vaccines, treatments for diarrhea, micronutrients, and improved nutrition to reduce the number of child deaths worldwide each year from 20 million in 1960 to 6.6 million today - even as the number of children has risen. ~ Nicholas D. Kristof

Ricin - Death by diarrhea ~ Anders Breivik

I get diarrhea more often than the average Muslim. ~ Magnus Wilton

My gut isn't wrong. Except when it has diarrhea. Then it is very, very wrong. ~ Sara Wolf

The deaths of children in poor countries from diarrhea, measles, and malaria have become part of the background of the world we live in, and if we know about it at all, we are likely to believe that it is a problem that will always be with us. But that isn't so. In the last two years, we have saved a million children. In the coming years, if we all give substantially more, we can save the entire 8.8 million. ~ Peter Singer

slanderous diarrhea of the mouth. ~ Joe Couch

One cup contains Starbucks coffee, and one holds diarrhea. But which is which? Drink it, and the one that doesn't make you vomit is the diarrhea. ~ Jarod Kintz

Women should know the truth. They can take it; they are adults, not children. If a mother opts for formula rather than breastfeeding, there is good evidence that her baby will score lower on IQ tests and will have a higher risk of many illnesses including some cancers, diabetes, respiratory illnesses, diarrhea and ear infections. She should know that her own risk of breast, ovarian and uterine cancer will be higher, as well as her daughter's risk of breast cancer. The mother increases her own risk of diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure and becoming overweight by "choosing" formula feeding. There is accumulating evidence that the risk of mental illness (alcoholism, ADHD, schizophrenia) is increased by not breastfeeding. A recent study suggested that even behaviour problems in adolescents are more likely if the child was formula fed. The longer the child is breastfed, the lower the risk both for the child and the mother. ~ Jack Newman

I find the fact that more than 750,000 children still die every year around the world because of severe dehydration due to diarrhea unacceptable. ~ Chelsea Clinton

You've probably been asked to care about things like HIV/AIDS or T.B. or measles, but diarrhea kills more children than all those three things put together. It's a very potent weapon of mass destruction. ~ Rose George

What the fuck was wrong with me, I wondered. I wished there was a version of Pepto Bismol for verbal diarrhea, because I'd invest in it. My ~ Mariana Zapata

When someone asks you the question 'Are you ticklish' it doesn't matter if you say yes or no, cause they're going to touch you. If someone asks if you're ticklish and you don't want to be touched you should something like 'I have diarrhea, now don't touch me cause you'll make it come out ... and yes I'm very ticklish'. ~ Demetri Martin

Drinking cow milk has been linked to iron-deficiency anemia in infants and children; it has been named as the cause of cramps and diarrhea in much of the World's population and the cause of multiple forms of allergies as well. ~ Frank Oski

Woke up this morning to the incredible news that I was nominated for an Emmy, and a shower full of dog poop. Apparently my dog is so excited, she has explosive diarrhea. I truly could not be more thankful to the Emmy voters for including me in this brilliant company of extraordinary women. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go clean up an enormous amount of dog poop out of my shower. Yay! ~ Martha Plimpton

Not being able to swipe into the subway when people are backing up behind you. Waiting for him at the bar. Leaving your purse open on a stool with a mess of bills visible. Mispronouncing the names while presenting French wines. Your clogs slipping on the waxed floors. The way your arms shoot out and you tense your face when you almost fall. Taking your job seriously. Watching the sex scene from Dirty Dancing on repeat and eating a box of gingersnaps for dinner on your day off. Forgetting your stripes, your work pants, your socks. Mentally mapping the bar for corners where you might catch him alone. Getting drunker faster than everyone else. Not knowing what foie gras is. Not knowing what you think about abortion. Not knowing what a feminist is. Not knowing who the mayor is. Throwing up between your feet on the subway stairs. On a Tuesday. Going back for thirds at family meal. Excruciating diarrhea in the employee bathroom. Hurting yourself when you hit your head on the low pipe. Refusing to leave the bar though it's over, completely over. Bleeding in every form. Beer stains on your shirt, grease stains on your jeans, stains in every form. Saying you know where something is when you have absolutely no idea where it is.

At some point, I leveled out. Everything stopped being embarrassing. ~ Stephanie Danler

Rotavirus does not cause all diarrhea, but it causes a lot of it. Instead of a single vaccine dose, however, harried nurses may have to give several, as diarrhoea makes it difficult for a child to retain anything. ~ Rose George

A tiny torrent of diarrhea had popped the offending dart right back out of his gut. ~ Monique Happy

It's hurting in a place I call my skull, between my arm and my neck, near the fingers, cause of my leg, over on the other side. It hurts. Ye might wanna jab a needle in it.... I need to get my feet and ankles xrayed. I took the flu, got diarrhea, and it went to my feet. It didn't help that I dropped a piece of wood on them either. ~ Carolyn Jourdan

Every culture can be kind of defined by what they drink in order to avoid dying of diarrhea. In China it's tea. In Africa it's milk or animal blood. In Europe it was wine and beer. ~ Neal Stephenson

There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do. ~ Henry A. Kissinger

Hooper ladled chum, which sounded to Brody, every time it hit the water, like diarrhea. ~ Peter Benchley

Diarrhea, 90 percent of which is caused by food and water contaminated by excrement, kills a child every fifteen seconds. That's more than AIDS, malaria, or measles, combined. Human feces are an impressive weapon of mass destruction. ~ Rose George

One minute you think you've got the world by the balls, the next minute you don't know where the fuck the world's balls are."
"Sure I do," I say irritably. "Right next to the world's big fat hairy asshole, upon which I seem to be stuck in superglue lately, waiting for it to have its next case of explosive diarrhea. ~ Karen Marie Moning

Every year 3.1 million Indian children die before the age of 5, mostly from diseases of poverty like diarrhea. ~ Nicholas D. Kristof

I think that's such an important message, especially for younger women, to know, 'I don't have to come out of the womb painting like Frida Kahlo. My very first thing that I make isn't going to be an around-the-world sensation.' You have to paint a hundred really ugly, barfy, diarrhea paintings before you come up with that one where you start to really get into your groove. ~ Kathleen Hanna

If he surrendered the advantage of the gun he would find himself floating in the gutters of an inhuman world, a part of the daily flotsam and jetsam of a hundred thousand abortions whooshing down the wormhole drain, drowning in a sea of pus-streaked semen and warm piss and menstrual juice and dead fetuses and radiator fluid and bloody diarrhea, seeking refuge inside the cathedral ruins of an embryonic sac, curling up to say his prayers then whispering goodnight, God speed, good riddance, gadzooks, the sac shrinking, disappearing into the frigid, humpbacked void of sodomized angels, wingless now, lecherous gargoyles sporting skeletal appendages without feathers, it would be a birth in reverse, the collapse of the universal soul. He wasn't sure how to save himself. ~ Javier Pedro Zabala

They eat the sewage that floats on the surface of the mass culture, digest it, and then get creative diarrhea
all at once. The turd look and smell exactly alike, and we call them this year's fashions, hit shows, books, and movies. ~ John Varley

A few words in defense of military scientists. I agree that squad leaders are in the best position to know what and how much their men and women need to bring on a given mission. But you want those squad leaders to be armed with knowledge, and not all knowledge comes from experience. Sometimes it comes from a pogue at USUHS who's been investigating the specific and potentially deadly consequences of a bodybuilding supplement. Or an army physiologist who puts men adrift in life rafts off the dock at a Florida air base and discovers that wetting your uniform cools you enough to conserve 74 percent more of your body fluids per hour. Or the Navy researcher who comes up with a way to speed the recovery time from travelers' diarrhea. These things matter when it's 115 degrees and you're trying to keep your troops from dehydrating to the point of collapse. There's no glory in the work. No one wins a medal. And maybe someone should. ~ Mary Roach

You're going to have an upset stomach. If you eat spicy stiff because you're upset, then you'll get diarrhea. ~ Kim Su-mi

When I have diarrhea I sit backwards on the toilet, because I like to face my enemy before I destroy it. ~ Sarah Palin

Well, MacKenzie, YOU'RE the expert on toilets! It's only 8:00 a.m. and your BRAIN is completely CONSTIPATED while your MOUTH has a severe case of DIARRHEA! Please, go FLUSH! ~ Rachel Renee Russell

The Bible says love your neighbor, not have nasty diarrhea of the mouth about your neighbor. ~ Delia Steele

FYI, this book is not that serious. This is meant to be read when super bored, then forgotten fifteen minutes later. It could be read cover-to-cover during one medium-to-severe case of diarrhea. ~ David Spade

After several extreme very high altitude night shifts, returning to sea level and exposure to increased oxygen and bright sunlight would bring on intestinal pains and diarrhea after eating the first large meal. ~ Steven Magee

I like your boyfriend," Dahra said. "Not many guys volunteer to carry ten gallons of diarrhea and vomit."
Lana laughed. "He's not my boyfriend."
"Yeah, well, he can be mine if he wants to be. He's cute. And he carries crap. ~ Michael Grant

There's no way a person could have this much diarrhea and survive. ~ Christina Lauren

Weird or someone with mouth diarrhea. Depends on people's point of view, ~ Stephanie Witter

She's a parasite I can't seem to get rid of. Like a bad case of financial diarrhea. ~ Dee Burks

Even if I say, Everyone in the village died of diarrhea, I still laugh a little after diarrhea. ~ Dana Gould

…of constipation of the brain & diarrhea of the mouth. ~ Jack Kerouac

. . .cash is highly effective at slashing the poverty rate. Moreover, GiveDirectly argues that cash is more valuable to its recipients than in-kind gifts, such as food or bed nets or sports equipment. If you're hungry, you cannot eat a bed net. If your village is suffering from endemic diarrhea, soccer balls won't be worth much to you. ~ Annie Lowrey

Dad climbs down from the table and sits on his cart. "Olmo, men don't have periods." "Eh? The brown spots I have in my underpants … Azzy told me I should get a tampon and - " Azalea plays innocent. "I never said such a thing. ~ Mya Robarts

Nose-hairs gone: runny nostrils. Constipation and diarrhea alternating ~ Christopher Hitchens

Everybody looked down on someone else. It didn´t matter that everybody shared the same sidewalk to spit on and suffered the same fast-moving diarrhea. We all had the same stink, but everybody complained someone else smelled the worst. ~ Amy Tan

History my god. An incurable diarrhea of dead immortals. ~ Robert Coover

Revolutions are 90% social diarrhea. ~ G. Willow Wilson

I'm of the belief that in most industries, women have to work twice as hard to get half the credit. After putting in so much effort to make a good movie, it felt pretty demeaning when they called it a "female comedy." This meaningless label painted me into a corner and forced me to speak for all females, because I am the actual FEMALE who wrote the FEMALE comedy and then starred as the lead FEMALE in that FEMALE comedy. They don't ask Seth Rogen to be ALL MEN! They don't make "men's comedies." They don't ask Ben Stiller, "Hey, Ben, what was your message for all male-kind when you pretended to have diarrhea and chased that ferret in Along Came Polly? ~ Amy Schumer

The first thing I noticed about East Shoal High School was that it didn't have a bike rack. You know a school is run by stuck-up sons of bitches when it doesn't even have a bike rack.

I shoved Erwin behind the blocky green shrubs lining the school's front walk and stepped back to make sure the tires and handlebars were hidden. I didn't expect anyone to steal, touch, or notice him, since his rusty diarrhea color made people subconsciously avert their eyes, but I felt better knowing he was out of harm's way. ~ Francesca Zappia

My love for you is like diarrhea," Sunglasses said. "I just can't hold it in. ~ Harlan Coben

Months after my wrists ripping, a talk therapist referred to the act as self-hatred. Until then nobody had said this to me. Did everyone presume that I already knew so? People say it all the time. It's safer to draw this conclusion. Throw in cowardice and you have an insulated public. I was not enraged at all. I was panic stricken. How could I hate myself for wanting to stop such physical sickness and terror? Mine was an act of caretaking, compassion, love. You cannot share this insight with therapists because they think such encourages recurrence. Have you ever stopped diarrhea with a prayer? If you have to go, you go. If you have to die, you die. ~ Brian Spellman

Many people who did not die right away came down with nausea, headache, diarrhea, malaise, and fever, which lasted several days. Doctors could not be certain whether some of these symptoms were the result of radiation or nervous shock. ~ John Hersey

It's a lonely world, being independent, and they can come away with the idea that if Lloyd Kaufman can make movies with people getting their heads squashed, with hard-bodied lesbians, women masturbating with pickles, graphic diarrhea, and singing and dancing chicken zombies - if he can do that for 40 years and put his kids through Yale, Columbia, and Duke - if that idiot can do it, anybody can do it. ~ Lloyd Kaufman

Calm down. Let's assess the situation," Drew said, crossing one leg over the other and folding his hands on his knee. "Have you noticed any of the following: unidentified discharge, burning sensation when you urinate, lower abdominal pain, testicular pain, pain during sex, fever, headache, sore throat, weight loss, chronic diarrhea or night sweats?"

He sounded like a f**king commercial for syphilis. ~ Tara Sivec

It becomes evident that Olmo hasn't really been spotting his underwear, at least not with blood. Azzy has messed with his gullibility.
Dad shoots Azzy a we'll-talk-about-this-later look. "Olmo, diarrhea and periods are very different things."
Azzy smiles maliciously. "Diarrhea is hereditary; it runs in your jeans. ~ Mya Robarts

At a family occasion in the 1990s, I met a relative by marriage who had spent time in Auschwitz. Within seconds of meeting me he clenched my wrist and recounted this story. A group of men had been eating in silence when one of them slumped over dead. The others fell on his body, still covered in diarrhea, and pried a piece of bread from his fingers. As they divided it, a fierce argument broke out when some of the men felt their share was an imperceptible crumb smaller than the others'. To tell a story of such degradation requires extraordinary courage, backed by a confidence that the hearer will understand it as an accounting of the circumstances and not of the men's characters. ~ Steven Pinker

I sat there behind the wheel of my car, not sure what I should do, wishing I was someplace else, anyplace else, trying on shoes at Thom McAn's, filling out a credit application in a discount store, standing in front of a pay toilet stall with diarrhea and no dime. Anyplace, man. It didn't have to be Monte Carlo. Mostly I sat there wishing I was older. ~ Stephen King

Mel's face is red with anger. "That rat bastard. I hope he gets diarrhea. Stinky ass bubble guts that make Summer want to puke. I hope they both get the squirts. ~ Julie Prestsater

Blood is thicker than water, and so is diarrhea ~ Josh Stern

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea ... does that mean that 1 enjoys it? ~ George Carlin

Getting naked feels better some days than others. (Good: when you are vaguely tan. Bad: when you have diarrhea.) ~ Lena Dunham

Have you ever noticed some of the worst sicknesses in history have a lyrical sound to them? Words like malaria, diarrhea, cholera ~ Emma Chase

Oh, I bet you'd find that marvelous; all of us helpless women just smiling and nodding. Though I'm afraid it would never work on me." "Of course not," he deadpans. "I'm stuck next to the one afflicted with an apparently incurable case of verbal diarrhea." "Says the man who is socially constipated. ~ Kristen Callihan

When you're in young love your pulse pounds, your palms sweat, and there are butterflies in your stomach. It's like diarrhea for your heart. ~ Daniel Tosh

The Dordogne in 1984 was the nadir. Diarrhea, moths like flying hamsters, the blowtorch heat. Awake at three in the morning on a damp and lumpy mattress. Then the storm. Like someone hammering sheets of tin. Lightning so bright it came through the pillow. In the morning sixty, seventy dead frogs turning slowly in the pool. And at the far end something larger and furrier, a cat perhaps, or the Franzetti's dog, which Katie was poking with a snorkel. (pg 53) ~ Mark Haddon

It would be an idyllic tropical paradise if not for the malaria, the insects, the constant diarrhea and resulting hemorrhoids, and the fact that the people are dirty and smell bad and eat each other and use human heads for decoration. ~ Neal Stephenson

It is still just unbelievable to us that diarrhea is one of the leading causes of child deaths in the world. ~ Melinda Gates

Enough of this. Does every conversation with you have to be the director's cut? Get out of the car. ~ Jonathan Lethem

Many people infected with C. diff are sick with diarrhea, abdominal pain, nausea, and weight loss. Others are "carriers" of C. diff with no signs or symptoms of disease. Some of these carriers have been recently infected with C. diff but have recovered and now feel well. But carriers still have the C. diff organism in their stools and can serve as a silent reservoir of infection in hospitals and nursing homes. ~ J. Thomas LaMont

Never done an explosion, but I have had explosive diarrhea, and that was very, very real. Good thing I have my trailer. ~ Steven Soderbergh

Who exactly are we?' I asked.
The American Dreamers. There aren't too many of us left.'
I don't know if I qualify.'
You an American? Or want to be an American?'
I am an American.'
You said you were having a dream.'
It's true, I did.'
Was it the one where you're inside the girl and you are pumping her and pumping her and you are so happy but then it turns out it's not a girl, it's really one of those super poisonous box jellyfish, and it stings you and you are screaming and screaming and the sky rains the diarrhea of babies?'
The ... no, I don't think so.'
I get that sometimes. Anyway, see you around. ~ Sam Lipsyte

We're just different."
"Yeah," I say. "I'm mute and you have verbal diarrhea. ~ Janet Gurtler

This was Jonan's boat. She had helped Nan Seller dose his entire crew against the annual diarrhea outbreak known as the winter runs ~ Sarah Zettel

Asking a sociologist to solve a problem is like prescribing an enema for diarrhea. ~ Saul Alinsky

Thanks from keeping me from being a liar," said Nikolai.
"What?"
"About your having diarrhea."
"For you I'd get dysentery."
"Now that's friendship. ~ Orson Scott Card

Revolutions are ninety percent social diarrhea. ~ G. Willow Wilson

I have lived most my life with chronic inflammation and constant pain with immediate diarrhea. ~ Mike McCready

I get verbal diarrhea in the writers' room. I just tell everyone a million anecdotes and stories and craziness, and we all double up on the floor laughing. ~ Jill Kargman

You get diarrhea out here, you dehydrate from the inside out - you leave the gene pool. ~ Cody Lundin

I was the head chef on the S.S. Diarrhea. ~ Mr. Krabs

Self-expression, to me, is something that you worked on, that you have mastered a skill to say something in the most artful way that you can. It's not just blurting stuff out and having verbal diarrhea. ~ John Leguizamo

They were trying to escape. They asked us "Where's the railway?" We'd never seen a railway. They asked "Where's Moscow? Leningrad?" They were asking the wrong people: we'd never heard of those places. We're Ostyaks. People were running away starving. They were given a handful of flour. They mixed it with water and drank it and then they immediately got diarrhea. The things we saw! People were dying everywhere; they were killing each other.... On the island there was a guard named Kostia Venikov, a young fellow. He was courting a pretty girl who had been sent there. He protected her. One day he had to be away for a while, and he told one of his comrades, "Take care of her," but with all the people there the comrade couldn't do much.... People caught the girl, tied her to a poplar tree, cut off her breasts, her muscles, everything they could eat, everything, everything.... They were hungry, they had to eat. When Kostia came back, she was still alive. He tried to save her, but she had lost too much blood. ~ Nicolas Werth

Never tickle a girl when she has diarrhea ~ David Spade

It's always the guy who gets the diarrhea on the commercial at an inconvenient moment. As if you've ever been in a situation: 'You know, this would be a great time to get the runs, you think? I mean the sun's out, we're on the ferris wheel - what are we waiting for? ~ Richard Jeni